Breaking Hope
by cheezebuns
Summary: An agreement with Coin is the only assent she has for knowing that Peeta and the captured tributes will be rescued, but Katniss finds out something completely shocking and unanticipated. It could break their agreement, ruin chances of a rescue. Pregnant.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello! The story takes place around chapter 3 of Mockingjay. It's after Katniss' visit to Twelve and Peeta's first interview. So the story has some events of Mockingjay that I thought were kind of important. They are arranged a little differently, just 'cause it seems it went with the story better. Sorry for any grammatical errors!**_

_**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins owns the Hunger Games trilogy, i'm just writing.**_

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

After the tossing and turning and having this terrible nausea that won't go away, I finally accept that it will be a wakeful night. I quietly get the few possessions I kept from Arena, from a drawer under the gray clothes I wear. The pin, the locket, silver parachute, and the pearl Peeta gave me a few hours before I blew out the force field. I sit on my bed with the items, feeling like these little things are my life in pieces. Prim is rousing.

"Katniss?" she whispers, not wake my mother. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. It was just a bad dream. Go back to sleep." I say.

Prim carefully gets out of bed anyway and sits on the bed with a blanket. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Even Mother." She whispers.

Prim has grown so much since that reaping day. Not just physically, but mentally too. She used to be the little girl always beside me. She was the one I protected. I was usually the one to comfort her, but know she's asking me if I'm okay. She is growing up too fast.

"I'm going to tell them I'll be the Mockingjay," I tell her. "I'm doing it because I want to… and because I kind of have to, but… I want to do it." I say uneasily. I look down at the pearl.

It's just that… I'm worried… about Peeta. If the rebels win the war, I'm afraid they'll execute him as a traitor."

Prim face softens."Katniss, you're very important in this whole operation. You can probably ask for Peeta's safety from the rebels." She says.

"Yeah, you're right." I raise my glance. "I could ask for his immunity, and they would have to agree to it if they want me to be the Mockingjay. The only thing is, I have to keep her from thinking she can break her word. I'll need witnesses."

"President Coin will have to announce it in front of the population of 13." She adds. "It'll be hard for her not to keep her word, when everybody witnesses it." Prim says.

"Good idea. She won't dismiss my demands when it's over."

I feel better with goal and a solution. I give her a big hug.

"Thanks for talking with me." I whisper. She hugs me tighter.

"Go to sleep, okay?" she says. She gets back in the bed, carefully, not to wake up my mother. I lay in bed, and I do fall asleep.

The Command is put into my schedule. This is it. During breakfast, Gale gave me the inspiration to ask for us to go hunting. It would be great to get out. I make a mental list of what to ask for. I ask Gale to come with me. Gale got his communicuff taken away the other day, because he blocked Boggs from catching me when I stormed out. We walk into command. They're already in position to lecture me to become the Mockingjay, but before they start I ask for supplies to write my requests. I should ask for Buttercup to stay with us. He's important to Prim. I need ask for hunting, Peeta's immunity, and… what else?

"About done there?" asks Plutarch, a couple minutes later. I guess I still have problems concentrating.

"Yes," I say. "I will be your Mockingjay, but I have some conditions." Coin's face is stern. She can't wait to hear them. Plutarch gestures for me to go on.

"My family gets to keep our cat." This causes a disruption. There's a huge commotion about the tiniest request, but they talk about moving my family to the higher levels so the cat can do his business outside and so they agree to it.

"I want to hunt. With Gale, in the woods." They fall silent. "We won't go far, and we will use our own bows. Whatever we get, we'll give to the kitchen." I say, but they're already talking within themselves of denying it. "It would help me get better, faster… if I could hunt." There is a lot of talk about security and the risk of getting injured, but we reach a settlement.

"I need Gale by my side when I do this…"

"With you how? On camera? Off camera?" Coin asks. "As presenting him as your new lover?" She is still holding her serious face, but I can't help but feel shocked.

"What? I just…"

Plutarch starts talking on how they should keep the romance with Peeta and all, because to the capitol, I'm pregnant with his child. There is further consultation what to do, because I can't keep up the act of pretending to be pregnant. They'll say that I had a miscarriage. Gale will be portrayed on camera as my cousin. They ask for the remaining requests, but I'm still trying to get over their demeaning of me. I feel my cheeks warm up. I concentrate on my remaining requests.

"When the war is over, and if we've won, Peeta will be pardoned." Everyone is silent and I feel Gale's gaze on me, his body tensing up. Oh, I just got a thought. "The same goes for the other captured tributes, Johanna, Annie, Enobaria..." I don't really care for Enobaria, but it seems just to ask for her pardon too.

"No," Coin says.

"Yes!" I say. "It's not their fault they were left to be captured by the Capitol. Who know what they're doing to them?" Coin goes off about how they will be judged accordingly as war criminals. Since viewing Peeta's interview, many were set on thinking Peeta was a traitor.

"Immunity!" I rise from my chair. "You will personally pledge this in front of the entire population of District Thirteen and the remainder of Twelve, soon. You will hold yourself and your government responsible for their safety, or you'll find yourself another Mockingjay!"

Of course my words start another dead silence, until Fulvia speaks. "That's it! The Mockingjay!" She looks to Plutarch excitedly.

"That's her." he says. My gaze is still on Coin. She has to give in. Plutarch advises she could give an official pardon. He informs her that Peeta is not even of age. She agrees, finally.

"Anything else?" she asks. She's unhappy.

"I kill Snow." I say. Coin smirks. "When the time comes, I'll flip you for it." She says.

"Fair enough." I say. Coin dismisses everyone and leaves the Command. Plutarch and Fulvia are ecstatic that we're on the team.

"You know in general what we're asking for, Katniss. You may have mixed feelings right now. Here I hope this helps." He shows me a black cover sketch book. I open it and there is a drawing of me in a black uniform, with a hood helmet, curved breast plate, full sleeves. It looks like a mockingjay. The design and the features could only come from one person. It was designed by Cinna.

Plutarch goes over a plan to launch an Airtime Assualt, a bunch of propos featuring me. I'll be filmed here, but there might be trips to other districts. The propos will all be aired. Beetee had hacked into the underground network, so that all of Panem will see the broadcast, including the Capitol.

They brought Venia, Flavius, and Octavia to district 13. More like kidnapped. They were taken from the Capitol, suddenly and brought to District 13. They got in trouble for stealing food. The guards say they repeatedly stole, but they've been punished so harshly. They're not used to specialized meal portions. I don't know what the guards did to them, but they are taken to hospital for minor injuries. My mother personally takes care of them.

I'm a little upset how they were treated. I get upset when anyone is treated unjustly. They're like children. They didn't know they can't take food. My mother tells Plutarch that they'll be ready the next day, but they will be shaken up from being taken from the Capitol and brought here, so suddenly. Plutarch is relieved, and Gale and I are released to go to our next scheduled period: training, which means hunting.

We're walking out of the training center on the ground, when two guards catch up to us. We're both given trackers on our ankles, our weapons, and a burlap sack for game. The guards continue to tell us when to be back. We're given a communicuff, but all I can think about the 2 hours we have left to hunt.

They opened the tall bared gate to the woods. As soon as we walked enough distance for the gate to be out of view, Gale and I take out our bows and knifes. We're walking as quietly as we can. My shoes are a little big for me, and cause leaves to crunch. Gale looks back at me whenever I make a really loud sound. Other than that, we did pretty well. We got squirrels, rabbits, and a turkey. We walk to a log and Gale begins to skin a rabbit. I sit on the ground laying against the log, sharpening a stick. And it's all so peaceful and normal like before that Reaping Day.

"Why do you care so much about your prep team?" he asks. His voice interrupts my day dreaming.

"Why shouldn't I?" I ask.

"Well, they spent the last two years dressing you up for the Hunger Games, to die, making you a show for the Capitol."

"Well, they're not evil. They're like children, just being told to style tributes. They don't really know…"

"I pretty sure they know where the tributes go, Katniss. They have to know those tributes, they prep up, are sent off to be killed. Those stylists probably just don't want to think about it too much about, right?"

"Well, they…"

"You're defending them!"

"I defend anyone who is treated so badly. They were punished cruelly for stealing a slice of bread! Maybe it reminded me too much of what happened to you, when you got caught with a turkey!" I cross my arms and look at a rock or something. I don't want him to see how upset this is making me. feel so uncontrollably irritated. I don't want to yell at him. This feeling seems alien to me. I've never been so in rage with Gale. We do argue some, but he's never angered me like this. It's probably my medication.

"I'm not trying to fight with you, but you have to know that they were part of it. They're from the Capitol. Coin probably thought it was how those Capitol people should be treated for the whole production they were in. She probably thought it as a favor to you." he says still a little offensively.

Why is he ramming on me for standing up for them? It was the right thing to do. Gale just despises people who are for, or have anything to with the Capitol. I don't speak for the trip back, until we reach the gate. We turn in our weapons, and game.

"You know they cared." I tell him. "Flavius and Octavia couldn't stop crying before the Quarter Quell. Venia could barely say goodbye."

"I'll keep it in mind when they remake you." Says Gale.

"Do," I say.

That evening during Reflection, Coin called an assembly. There, she made the announcement of my consents for me to be the Mockingjay. I take a seat next Finnick, sitting near other patients in their hospital gowns and robes. I haven't seen him in a while. Last time I saw him, I acted incredibly mean to him, for knowing about the plan, and keeping it a secret from me.

"Nice to see you out." I say.

"Yeah, I'm still staying at the hospital, but I'm soon getting my own boarding cell. I'll be good in no time." He says coolly. I smile at his remark, but I notice he's still wearing the bracelet that labels him "mentally disoriented".

"So what's this all about anyway?" He asks. I look at him to further explain. "This assembly?"

"I agreed to be the Mockingjay," I answer. "With some requests. I asked for the tributes' immunity, if we were to win the war."

Finnick looks hopefully toward the platform where Coin will speak. "Good. I was a little worried about Annie. I don't know what she would do that would be considered treason, but still."

I start to feel bad, guilty. I go back to the day when he tried to cheer me up about Peeta being captured. He said that since Peeta doesn't know anything, he won't be punished severely like what they might do to Johanna. They won't kill him, because they could use him against me. I was upset, and that's when I said "like bait? Like what they're doing to you with Annie?" I made him cry.

President Coin stands on the platform and commences her announcement. When she gets to the tributes' immunity, I get some cold glares from the people around me. They probably think it's selfish to ask for their immunity, when we have no idea what they could do.

"… It follows that any deviance from her mission will be viewed as a break in this agreement. The immunity will be terminated and the fate of the four victors determined by the law of District 13. As would her own. Thank you." Coin gives a short glance at me. If I screw up, then we're all screwed.

I'm lying in bed, awake, feeling nauseous. I haven't been that well, but I don't want to go back to the hospital again. I just moved in with my mother and Prim.

It's starting to feel like the Hunger Games again. It's different, but there is somebody watching my every move, and telling me what to do. There's less of a chance that I'll be killed, but still. This is a real war, even if I'll be way behind the front lines, according to Fulvia. I'm being filmed tomorrow. Prepped up and filmed for the propos. Almost like the Games again…

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><p><em><strong>Okay, so it mostly parts from the book, but it gets better from here. Just you wait. So if... you know, want to leave a review, it will be gladly accepted.<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Uploaded! This chapter isn't as long, but this where the conflict begins. Thanks for the reviews._**

**_disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. Just characters I make up._**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

The doctor wanted to make a check up, before the preparation. I really hoping they don't find something wrong with me. I don't want to go back there. I have to be the Mockingjay. I need to keep my part in the arrangement and it's probably all really care about right now.

I get the later breakfast period on my schedule. Oh look my appointment is on there! Ugh. I walk to the hospital ward and find the room with number on my schedule. I guess I just go in. I wait in a room and sit on the table. A doctor comes in. Doctor Odessa. She has brown hair in a pixie cut, and her eyes are grey. She doesn't look that old. She's much younger than my mother. I wonder what's so different between my mother's apothecary and this doctor's occupation? My mother is considered to most doctors here, almost like a nurse.

"Morning Katinss, how have you been feeling?" She asks. She seems friendlier and more cheery than most of the doctors here.

"I'm great." I say coolly. Mind over matter, I think to myself. Yup, I'm fine.

"That's good to hear. I'll just take your weight, blood pressure, then we'll do a blood test, okay? So if you please." She gestures to the scale. After I get my weighting she checks my blood pressure. The band squeezes my arm, and though she tells me not to move, I do, and it starts over again. I want to get out of here already.

She puts information into a computer. She gets things from a little bin on a counter and then sits on a stool in front of me. She wipes my arm with alcohol and takes a needle.

"This will only hurt a little." She says. Her voice is kind, but it seems she acts as if I'm a child. Maybe that's just how she talks to patients. I still think she wants to stick it in my arm, payback for taking longer for the blood pressure. No, I'm just making up thoughts. Then she does and I tense up a little. It's a natural reaction for sticking a needle in your arm. "Relax." She says calmly.

When she's taken enough blood, she goes out of the room. A few minutes later she comes back with a paper on her clipboard. That was fast. I guess she nods at the regularities, because she is bobbing her head, but she stops, and her face changes into some kind of confusion. Oh jeeze, something is wrong. Maybe it's not a big deal. She sits down on a stool in front of me. My presumption is wrong.

"Katniss, in your blood there is traces of the hormone, human chorionic gonadotropin." She says, looking at me concernedly. I wait for her to explain what that means. "It means you're pregnant."

"Wha-?" I'm pregnant? Before I go insane, I think in my head: _My name is Katniss Everdeen, I survived the Hunger Games, I'm in District 13 and I'm going to be the Mockingjay. I'm also pregnant._

"How did this happen?" I mutter. What a stupid question.

"I think you know, Katniss." She says.

Flashback.

_We had the day off. It was the day before the interviews. We ordered a bunch of food and went to the garden on the roof. My head was in Peeta's lap while he practiced tying knots in my hair. I felt his hands go to still.. _

_"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live it forever." He says. I usually feel guilty when he says things like that. Why am I not in love him like he is in love with me? Or do I love him? He's been there for me. We know what each other is dealing with. He gives me this kind of special comfort, kind of strength. Maybe I do love him. I feel so warm and relaxed and beyond worrying about a future that I'll never have, so I let the word slip out._

_"Okay."_

_"You'll allow it?" he asks. He's smiling_

_"I'll allow it." I say. I feel comfy and happy, even though the Games were just less than 2 days away. I doze off, but Peeta makes sure to wake me for the sunset. Orange, red, yellow, pink. The way the clouds were colored, made me think of Peeta painting them. We stay on the roof till we have to go to bed. We quietly slip down to my room without encountering anyone. _

_He lays beside me holding me like he usually does. The warmth and comfort envelops me. I turn to face him. He opens his eyes and looks lovingly at me, his eyes lightening the feelings. I kiss him. I get the warming sensation, the one that I got when we were in the cave. He kisses me more deeply, and then he stops._

"_Katniss, I… don't want to impose you to…" He looks sincere. He's always thinking of me._

"_No, this isn't compelled." I say softly. He looks uncertain and as if he's restraining himself. He cares for me. I kiss him and he doesn't object. His hands are going up my side. My hand is in his hair. Getting it all tousled. Then it just happened. And there was no regret. I just felt happy._

_I remember what Peeta said that night; "I love you." Then I whispered it very softly,_

"_I love you too." He probably didn't hear me, but now I wish he had._

_I strangely didn't have nightmares. I just remember we were both awake, way before we had to be up. When I woke up, Peeta was sitting at the end of the bed, in his sleeping clothes, facing away. It seems he's thinking. I shift and he turns around and smiles. _

"_Good morning," he says lovingly. I smile, but I recalled last night, and feel the color rush to me cheeks. He smiles at me again and tosses my sleeping stuff to me and faces away, thinking. I dress and then we both just lay in bed, him holding me, waiting for the dreaded day to begin._

_The sight of Peeta and me together, made Octavia burst into tears. Peeta went to his room for prep. Flavius and Venia, I could tell, they were trying to keep themselves from tearing up. I was good as dead in a few hours. Then there was the interview. I had no idea of Peeta's plan. Probably what he was thinking about. It was surprising, but it got some of the Capitol people to have a second glance of how evil and unmoral the Games were._

"Katniss?" Dr. Odessa waits for me to come back from my thoughts. What was I doing again? Oh yeah. I just found out I'm pregnant. "Katniss, who is the father?" she asks still in a soft concerned voice. I don't have to tell her, but who else would I tell?

"Peeta," I say. She looks at her clipboard. "Oh, I see." She says sympathetically, but I don't need it. I've been getting a whole lot of that. "We need to get you on special vitamins and supplements. I'm guessing you're a month to 2 months pregnant, and you have not been taking any precautions. Did you notice you missed your period?"

"Uh, not really, I've been preoccupied." Peeta being captured, District 12 blowing up, my saneness slipping away, I've been going through a lot this past month. Well it explains the nausea, the weird irritation I got so easily from talking to Gale, the reason I'm hungry all the time, when the meals are specialized.

"You have to be precautious when training, I'll send a note myself to-" I try to listen, but I just realized… I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with Peeta's child. Peeta, who is in the Capitol, who's probably being tortured right now. Will I even see him again? Then I freak myself out with the thought: there's something growing inside me. It's really weird to think about it. How can I take care of somebody, when I'm barely succeeding in taking care of myself? I'm mentally disoriented. I can't have baby. Not now. I didn't plan on it ever. What about the Mockingjay business? What can I do?

"Wait! They can't know." I say. "I made an agreement on being the Mockingjay. If they find out I'm pregnant, and if I can't go to the districts, they'll cancel my requests and that means the surviving tributes are screwed."

"Katniss, they need to know."

"They can't."

"Fertility here is taken very seriously. Expecting women are given special benefits, to make sure they have a safe and healthy pregnancy."

"I know. District 13 isn't very populous, is it? That's why District 12 was gladly accepted." I'm sure that's part of the reason. Dr. Odessa ignores my remark, but it's true. District 13 had a plague which wiped out a lot of their population. The bad outbreak left most of the survivors with some of the after affects like limping. Not a lot people were having kids either. There's not a whole lot kids here, except the ones who survived from District 12.

"I'm sending a letter to President Coin. She'll decide what you will, and not be doing. I'm sure you can still attribute your image as the Mockingjay some other way, than going straight into a battle."

Dr. Odessa, isn't growing on me anymore. She's getting on my nerves, but maybe it's the stupid hormones. "We'll make another appointment for an ultrasound in the fertility ward." We both stand up and I'm heading for the door. "Kantiss," I turn to look at her. "Take care of yourself." She says then she starts dialing a call on the phone. I give a small nod and head to the dining hall for breakfast.

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><p><em><strong>The flashback was pretty long for a flashback, but it works like that I guess. It's my final day of vacation, but I'll try to be uploading regularly. So I'm trying not to bother you with asking for reviews, but I guess I kind of am by saying that... thanks for reading!<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

**_I had trouble uploading, but it's finally done. There's familiar parts from Mockingjay, but I also added stuff to them._**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

_I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. Shit, I'm pregnant_. I don't think it's fully settle in yet. Maybe it's best that it doesn't or I'll go crazy. I get to the Dining Hall and get my tray. It looks like a get a little more oat meal. Wow, that was fast. I'm already getting more food. I'm not just feeding myself anymore. I find Gale, who coincidently came at the same time I did today. Rory, Vick, Hazelle and Posy are sitting there too. It feels weird because I know I can't tell them. I just can't, especially Gale. Gale knows me too well, and if I show any nervousness or act bothered, he'll know something is wrong, but if I don't sit with them then he'll know something is up. So I put on smile and sit between Posy and Gale.

"Katniss, haven't seen you lately. You and Gale usually come early, so we always miss you." Says Hazelle.

"Yeah, I had a checkup, today. I'm good, though. Why are you here?" I ask looking at Gale.

"What? I can't be here?" he says lightly. Hazelle waits for his answer too. "I went to the armory this morning. Beetee wanted to show me something."

"Oh? What was it?" I ask.

"Beetee told me I couldn't tell you. He wanted you to see it for yourself." He says almost teasing. I'm glad he's not mad at me anymore. I just want to keep it like this for as long as I can. No more useless arguing, although, I stand on my point.

"It's a surprise!" exclaims Posy. Her gray eyes look extremely bright. "Don't tell her, Gale, or it won't be a surprise anymore!"

"Do you know what is, Posy?" asks Hazelle.

"Uh nope, but surprises aren't surprises if you tell them what the surprise is." She says surprise so many times, that Hazelle smiles, and Vick starts laughing.

"Hey Katniss, See you got extra oatmeal. Going into war today or something?" asks Rory. Shoot, I mean how could they have not have noticed. I think of something quick.

"Since I'll be training now, I guess I get more."

"Oh, I'll be training too, I'm almost 14. Then we get the title "soldier" right?"

"Affirmative, Soldier Hawthorne." I say. He smiles. I wish I was looking forward to it as much as Rory is, but maybe it's because I'm being forced too, my actions can result in dire consequences, and with my newly found news, I'm on the bridge of losing my agreement with Coin.

After breakfast, Gale and I head to the armory. I don't know if I like surprises anymore. I've had enough today. I just hope Gale doesn't see my nervousness from just having the thought of telling him I'm pregnant. We get to the armory or "Special Weaponry", and there's Beetee in a wheelchair sitting in a mini replica of the meadow through a wall of glass. He's watching a hummingbird.

Gale and I step through the glass door. "This is the meadow isn't it?" I ask.

"Yes! It's a replication of the meadow in 12. It's wonderful isn't it?" His eyes behind the glasses don't move from the hummingbird. "60 mph, it's probably impossible to get one of these with an arrow."

"You could use a snare." Says Gale. "Bait it, use a finely meshed net, you could probably catch one like that."

"Oh, but we're not here to catch hummingbirds. Gale and I have been very busy at work with looking at the weaponry that will be used by the rebels, and some traps. I made a little something for you, Katniss." He says excitedly. He wheels himself to a wall and with a press of a button and scan of his hand; a section of the wall rotates and displays tons of weapons hanging on hooks and shelves. I have to admit the arsenal is pretty breathtaking, even if it's full of murdering weapons. A bow with hundreds of little gadget and a scope catches my eye. It looks so heavy, but that is not the one Beetee hands me. He takes a black case off a shelf.

"This is for you." He hands it to me. I unlatch it and find a slick black bow. I hold it and it's incredibly light weight. "They wanted me to design a bow more for show, but I added some features to it." I hold it as if I were about to shoot an arrow. I hear it humming.

"Is it alive?" I ask.

"It's voice activated and it only comes to life with you voice. Say, "good night" and it's programmed off. It was really quite fun to design it. It comes with multiple kinds of arrows… exploding, fire… they are all colored for the feature they have."

"Beetee... this is amazing." I'm so awestricken how beautiful it is.

"Yes, well you'll use it for filming, and will be given a set of plain arrows. We don't want exploding arrows during a shoot." He laughs. "As for you, Gale, you will be given bow as well. Although, it's not like this one. You are going to also have the official gun that the rebels will be equipped with." He hands Gale a bow with a scope and tiny lights. It's nice, but I think mine's better.

"Can we try them out?" I ask, almost like a little kid.

"Yes, there is a range in the Training Center, just you can only use the normal arrows and the bow has to be returned here."

"Alright." I say. Gale walks off to the exit.

"Oh, and Katniss. Tell Finnick I've been working on a new trident for him. Something to distract him a bit."

"Sure thing, Beetee."

We depart from Special Weaponry and go to use our new bows in the Training Center's range. Later, a subtle siren goes off for everyone to move on to the next scheduled period. We return the bows and begin for our next scheduled period.

"I guess I'm heading to my family's room." I say

"Prepping for the prop?" he says.

"Uh yeah," I say cautiously. I don't want to argue.

"Yeah, whatever. Do what you got to do."

"See you later." I say.

I go up flights of stairs to the top floor. I'm not totally comfortable riding in elevators yet. They remind me of the Capitol's, and they distantly remind me of mines and explosions and my father. I've ridden them before, but I prefer the stairs. Better for you, I guess. Just I get dizzy with a headache when I reach the top, reminding me I'm not totally healed yet.

The stylists are going to my family's boarding cell to get me ready for the propos. I bathe, get the hair waxed off me, get dressed, and touched up with natural eye shadows and blush.

Fulvia and Plutarch come in to see how I'm doing.

"Is our Mockingjay almost ready?" Fulvia says… almost like Effie. Her eyes look at me, but they dart away when she sees the huge scar on my arm, from when Johanna took out my tracking device. I think I see her frown with disgust.

"We don't know what to do with it." Says Venia. I can tell she's a little disgusted at the sight of it. Octivia looks away, her natural auburn hair covering the side of her face. She's still afraid. None of the stylist has their crazy outfits, and their hair color is fading a little to reveal their natural one.

"Put some bandages on it, so it looks like she was in battle recently." Plutarch suggests. He and Fulvia begin walking to the set. Venia grabs some white bandage and wraps it around my arm.

"All better." She says. "What do you think, Octavia? Does she look ready?"

Octavia nods, but doesn't speak. Flavius puts an arm around Octavia for encouragement, and gives me a thumbs up.

"Well, we should get you over there then." says Venia trying to sound enthusiastic, but more like tired.

I step to the door, but I turn towards them. "Thank you, Octavia, Flavius, Venia." I say sincerely. Octavia nods silently, but she smiles at me. I walk into the hallway and then they follow. They lead me to the set where we will be filming. I meet the film crew. Cressida, Messalla, Castor, and Pollux. Pollux doesn't speak and just shakes my hand. Then they tell me he is an Avox from the Captiol, but he came here. Everything is set, and the Fulvia gives me a line to say. They seemed to be proud about the line, like they spent years coming up with it. You know, maybe they have. I say the line over and over in my head. I'm trying to get warmed up to it, hopefully making it sound less unnatural when I do say it.

The set begins to fog, fake uniformed soldiers are pretending to die, and fake gun shots are ringing my ears. I walk forward from the fog and say the incredibly stiff line, "_People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!_" I raise my bow up, but then, the arm of a soldier playing dead is in my path, and I trip. I hear a gasp from someone, but I landed on my hands and knees. They're dead silent for a minute. I'm slowly getting up. Then I hear someone crack up laughing uncontrollably.

"Wow, it's too bad that wasn't supposed to happen," says Haymitch. The fog dies down and I see him and Finnick still trying to stop themselves from cracking up again. It's been a month since I've seen Haymitch, and he just _had_ to see me mess up.

"We'll do it again, it's that guys fault for being in the way." says Fulvia, pointing at the guy on the ground. The reaction of the guy on ground is hilarious, because he acts like he was just accused of stealing cookies, which is not taken too lightly here.

"The trip would have made it better! It would cheer up the injured and down-hearted." Haymitch exclaims. "You're not going to get people rallied up with stiff lines, fake fog, and terrible actors playing dying soldiers. It has to be moving, something natural. Something from Katniss, herself."

Fulvia crosses her arms and tilts her head. "Like what?"

"What was something Katniss did, that inspired you? On her own, nothing acted for the Capitol." The crowd in the room doesn't say anything, in thought.  
>"When she volunteered for her sister," Says Venia. "That's the most selfless thing I've ever seen."<p>

"When she put the flowers on Rue," Says Finnick.

"I cried when she drugged Peeta so she could go get him medicine and when she kissed him good-bye!" Octavia blurts out, but she puts her hands over her mouth, like she wasn't supposed to say it.

"Oh yeah, saved his life." Haymitch says.

"It has to be unscripted! We got to leave her alone. Let her do her own thing." Says Beetee.

"How? Putting her in the middle of combat?" asks Plutarch.

"Yes, right about what I was thinking. Put her in the middle of combat." Haymitch says.

"What about her safety?" Fulvia asks.

"Bunch of bodyguards." He says plainly. "She can take care of herself." He looks at me. Fulvia still isn't quite convinced. Coin is questioning this in her head.

"I want to do this." I say. "It's good idea, and I'm really no help just staying here."

"What if you're killed?" asked Coin.

"Make sure to be filming, you could use it."I answer. I kind of regret saying that, since I'm pregnant, but being filmed, close to an actual scene of war, will definitely get attention. More than fake soldiers and fog. I'll be relatively safe.

"I suppose we could take Katniss to district 12. It's not as dangerous. We'll show what the Capitol did, for a start up. Katniss are you alright going there?" asks Plutarch.

Not really, but If we really want these propos to get people realize what's going on here. I guess that's the best place to start. It's not that dangerous."Yeah, sure." I say. I look at Haymitch, his face in a half smirk. He doesn't have that scar, anymore; the one when I lashed my fingernails at his face.

"Alright then." He walks out of the room and I can hear him laughing again about me tripping.

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><p><em><strong>Ha. Haymitch isn't as ANGRY at Katniss, like in the book. Also, this isn't till WAY later, but I'd like some suggestions for the baby's name. boy or girl, because I can't tell you which it is yet.<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

**_One of my really liked chapters in this story. Gale and Prim are awesome. Don't like Coin. _**

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

Gale and I go hunting. I put on my father's hunting jacket and washed off the make-up. I'm glad we're not still mad at each other. I want to keep it like this for as long as I can. I wonder how long I can hide the fact that I'm pregnant. Two or three more months? I could wear the hunting jacket all day long, and nobody would know. Baby bump? What? Of course not, this jacket was my fathers, and as you see, it is quite large and bulky in size…

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh?"

"Squirrel for your thoughts." Gale says, handing me a squirrel we caught.

"Oh nothing really," I say, trying to sound collected. I take the squirrel and start skinning it. I realize that if I don't speak, that it will further suspicion. "We're going back to Twelve, get to see our home again." I say sort of sarcastically.

"People will see District 12 for themselves. The more on our team the better, right?" He looks forward and throws a stone at a tree. "I'm kind of dreading to go back there too."

I give a tiny laugh, to hide my real feelings. I feel terrible for keeping this secret from him, but it's so big. It will just hurt him. Like it's hurting me keeping it from him.

"Whatever you're worried about, don't worry about it too much. You've got a lot of people you can count on to help you out. I'll help you. Remember, you're the Mockingjay, but you're not fighting this by yourself."

"That was deep." I say smiling. He laughs a little.

"I'm pretty poetic." He says. He puts an arm around my shoulder. He hugs me with one arm, since his other hand is holding a few dead squirrels. I feel safe with him, but then I realize, that even though we're close friends and there could have been something more, we don't have the same kind of history. He doesn't give the same love, or comfort that Peeta gives. We both have same kind of fire. He's my best friend, and I can't let uncertain feelings for him get in the way of breaking our closeness. When it comes close to time to leave, we get up from the log and start taking our game in the sack. We start walking back to underground.

While walking from the kitchen a young man with a communicuff walks up to us.

"Soldier Everdeen, President Coin wants to see you." He says.

"Want me to go with you?" Gale asks.

"No, that's okay, I'll go ahead alone." I say. This has to be about the pregnancy thing.

"Okay. I'll see you later." He says, and he goes back to the direction of the kitchen. Greasy Sae says she likes to talk to folks from Twelve, they understand her style of cooking, unlike the people here in Thirteen. He probably went to chat, even though I know he doesn't like to.

I follow the guy to Coin's office. The guy opens the door and leaves. There's Coin sitting at a plain desk in front of District 13's emblem on the wall. On her desk is a computer, and there are few bookcases to the walls, and two chairs in front of the desk. She slowly rises from her chair.

"Take a seat Katniss, as you know we have a lot to discuss." She says. I can't help but feel nervous. It's like I'm about me lectured and punished like a little kid.

"Dr. Odessa has informed me that you are pregnant." She says with no hesitation or shock.

"Yeah, um I-" She interrupts me.

"District 13 takes fertility very seriously. We take great precautions so that expecting women have a healthy pregnancy, but… your case will have to differ.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"We had an agreement on how you be presented as the Mockingjay, and this new idea of going to the districts is very risky. This unexpected pregnancy could diminish our agreement."

"I still want to do this."

"Glad to hear it." It seems she says evilly. "We cannot let anybody know of your state."

"Keep it a secret from everyone?"

"If more were to learn of your pregnancy, you would be forced to remain in District 13. They would not let you be part of the rebellion. So I have already informed Dr. Odessa, not to reveal this news to anyone." I'm afraid how she got her to do that. I feel like my conscience is telling me not to do this, but I have no choice. "You, yourself will not tell anyone, will you? If you do, and if I find out, it will be considered a break in the agreement, and the immunity of the tributes will be taken away."

"I won't. I want to be the Mockingjay." I say as confidently as I can.

"Dr. Odessa is still going to give you the necessary supplements and servings, but it will be kept as confidential as we possibly can. Very well, you are dismissed. See you tomorrow." she says.

I get up from my seat and quickly walk out. The voice in my head keeps telling me, I've gotten myself in deeper trouble, but what can I do? I need to tell someone. I just need to. Someone who would be unlikely suspected to know, or someone who would keep it a secret no matter what. Someone who wouldn't be severely punished if they knew. Gale? No. Haymitch? Heck no. I can't tell him, even though I've told him so much already. My mother? Sadly no. I go through a list in my head. I can't burden my family with it. I go into our boarding cell and jump onto the bed with the pillow in my face. I scream into the pillow. All this stress is probably bad for the baby.

"Katniss? Are you here?" It's Prim. She just finished bathing.

"Yeah, I'm here." I say into the pillow, because I don't feel like moving. I look up from the pillow and she sits by me. Her hair is wet, but not dripping like mine when I go to bed.

"Are you angry? My teacher said punching a pillow relieves stress." She holds up a pillow. I gesture for her to put it down. I'm not punching a poor pillow. "Punch it." She demands. I'm surprised for the sternness in her voice. "You'll feel better." She says more kindly.

So I decide, why not? Prim holds it in front of her and I start with soft punches then harder ones. I'm laughing hysterically, for punching a pillow. She laughs too and lies beside me.

"Katniss tell me what's wrong." She says in a whisper. As much as I want to, I can't. "Mother isn't here. She's still finishing at the hospital. You can tell me. Remember I'm good at keeping secrets." She says. I exhale deeply. I want to tell her. Well, here I go.

"You have to keep this a secret okay? You can't tell anybody, even though you might really want to." I whisper. She looks worried at first, but then nods. Should I tell her?

"I went to Dr. Odessa today, and she told me… I was pregnant." I say in a hushed tone. I could tell she was shocked. I let the news sink in for a second, because it took me my whole day to get my mind around it.

"Are you sure? Really?"

"Yes. Dr. Odessa told Coin. Then Coin called me into her office…" I see she's trying stay calm. "Coin told me that my pregnancy would have to be kept a secret as long as it can, or I wouldn't be the Mockingjay. And If I can't be the Mockingjay…"

"The immunity for Peeta and them, and the other requests would be taken away." Prim finishes. She knows exactly what I'm in now. She looks worried.

"I'm sorry Prim, I know it's a lot I should of…"

"I want you to tell me these things. I want to help as much as I can. You don't have to be alone." She talks like an adult.

"Oh Prim, I love you." I say hugging her tightly. Seconds pass of just silence, then Prim speaks.

"So it's Peeta?" I look at her not understanding at first.

"Peeta is the father," I say looking down. A single tear runs down my cheek. Prim looks distressed then she smiles at me. "What is it?" I ask.

"You're having a baby. I'll be an aunt." She says with tears in her eyes. "I'm sure Peeta would be happy too." I hug her with my head on top of hers, and I feel the tears stream down my cheeks. I move a hand to my stomach. Am I supposed to feel something? Maybe that's later, like months from now. We pull ourselves together before my mother comes in. Prim hugs my mother and goes straight to bed. I hug her and get beneath the covers, and pretend I'm asleep before she asks anything.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks and I'd like your opinions on how it's going so far. Constructive criticism is okay. Chapter 5 coming soon! maybe like next day.<em>**

**_- Cheezebuns_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Not too good of day, today, but uploading makes it a little better. Happy reading._**

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

I'm going to District 12 today. Wait, first I have to go to get the ultrasound which frightens me, because there's a baby inside of me, and it only means that is growing and it will come out to this terrible world, where Hunger Games and this war exist. My hands are shaky, and I want Prim to be here, but Coin would find out I told her. So I walk in Dr. Odessa's room, alone.

"Good morning Katniss," she says. Her voice isn't as friendly and I can see she's sad. "Lie here," she points. She asks me to lift my shirt, and she presses this device thing with goo on my stomach. It feels odd. I hear weird warping sounds, and she tells me it's my heart beat.

"If you listen closely you can hear the baby's heart," She says. She presses the device around my stomach. "Oh look." She says sweetly, her eyes on the monitor. I look at the monitor but I don't see anything. "There's your baby." She points on the monitor for me to see. Then I see it. The little image of a tiny person. My eyes begin to tear up, so I look away. _Not now Katniss, you're stronger than that. _"Would you like to know the sex?" she asks calmly.

"No." I simply answer. I tried not to let my voice crack, but it did. Dr. Odessa puts a hand on my shoulder, which I would quickly step away from, but I can't move and I'm feeling miserable, so I let her. I wipe my eyes and Odessa hands me a tissue, for my runny nose. Uck, I feel so weak. I pull myself together, while Dr. Odessa reminds me take the vitamins. She tells me the baby is healthy so far, and that if I do what she tells me, the baby should be fine. She mentions nothing of a visit from Coin.

I go to breakfast and I don't encounter Gale, which is good, because he'll probably see I'm not doing too well. I eat and leave the dining hall as quickly as I can. My prep team is expecting me in my boarding cell. So I walk down the hall and hope no one notices me, or tries to stop to say hi.

I take a long bath, because they're not here yet. I blow the bubbly foam from my hands, expecting to see bubbles form, but no, just spitting foam. For some reason I feel very disappointed that I can't blow bubbles, and I start tearing up. Nobody is going to see me cry. I know I'm not crying because of the bubbles. Twenty minutes later, my prep team busts into the bathroom. There's no privacy with them and me. They're not going to see what they haven't seen already. I'm glad the bubbles are shielding me, they're like my blanket.

"Katniss, We must start prepping you up! We're a little late, I know, but Octavia misplaced the brush, and it was such a hassle looking for it." Says Flavius. He seems less gloomy today. Venia hands me a towel, and they start with dressing me in the Mockingjay uniform, and putting only a little make-up, to even my skin tone. I'm suppose to look natural. Venia braids my hair and then they spray a little perfume. I don't know why. I gladly accept it though, because it was Octavia's and it cheered her up a little when I told her it smell wonderful.

I leave Venia, Flavius, and Octavia and head for the Hangar. I see Gale and Beetee and I walk over to them.

"Katniss! There you are," He exclaims. "I have your bow." He unlatches it and I take the bow from the case. I'm awestricken all over again. "Here are your plain arrows. Now, give them your best, you two." He says to me and Gale.

"They're just filming Katniss with the District ruins in the background." Says Gale.

"Yes, but you are her teammate and you get her to act her best. This is our message to the Capitol." Beetee rolls away from the boarding zone. He gives a smile of encouragement before he leaves the Hangar.

"You ready for this?" I ask Gale.

"Sure, yeah." He says, he holds his communicuff out.

"You got it back?" I ask.

"Yeah, Well since I'm going, they said I need it. I'm back in position." He says.

"Hey you!" I look behind me and see Finnick walking towards us. He looks a little better than yesterday. He isn't wearing hospital clothes.

"Finnick! Are you coming?" I ask.

"Sadly no, they won't let me. I told them I'm fine, but nope. I'm sure I'm going on the next one."

"Oh, well glad to see you're better."

"Yeah," he looks a little disappointed. "Came to see you guys off." He says patting Gale and I on the shoulder. He walks away, and I notice he still has his bracelet. I got mine taken off a few days ago, for filming. I wonder. Haymitch comes up behind me, sneakily.

"Hey!" he says loudly, and I jump. Not really because he's loud, but it's Haymitch. He smirks when he sees me jump.

"See this? You put it in your ear. It's my way of communicating with you."

"Where will you be?" I ask.

"In the hovercraft. It's just in case of an emergency, and I don't want those cameras at me. That's your job, right? Don't trip." He says with fake sternness. I can't help to smile a little. I'm sort of glad he's here, even though I'll be on the ground and he's on the hovercraft. He probably doesn't want to face the ashy remains of our home.

Gale and I get on the hovercraft. The hovercraft moves unto a large elevator. The hovercraft is elevated to ground level, then it begins to take off on the airstrip.

Plutarch tells us where we'll be filming, but Cressida interrupts and tells him to leave it to her. She's got it planned out. She explains her vision, and I'm trying to envision it too. She's the director, but I'm sure Plutarch thinks he really is. I see Twelve from our window. I imagine everything just coming back to life. I want to at least see it in my head, but that's hard to do. Gale grips my hand and gives me an encouraging smile. Having my presence in this destruction. This is what I'm here for, I guess.

Cressida films me walking through the streets where blacken remains lay on the ground. Buildings are burned down and when we reach the square, I make out what used to be there. There's the Justice Building, the grocery, the tailor… They film a little of me speaking of what my life was like before that reaping day. I decide to walk to a certain street. The crew follows me and then I see it.

"Action." Says Cressida.

"Right here, was the bakery. Peeta's parents owned this bakery." I look sideways to the lot of rubble. I start referring to him. "This where you worked, and created those beautiful cakes. My sister would walk me with her, just to see them from the window." I look straight into the camera. "Now it's destroyed. Can't you see what the Capitol did? They burned down our home! There can be no drop of arms."

I start talking to the general audience. "The Capitol will destroy everything dear to us! This is why we're fighting. This is what we're fighting for. Our home, and a better future! We have no choice but to go forward, and fight for what we believe in. And this war will probably will end dirty, but we have the choice. So those in the Capitol… I just want to say we're not going down without a fight, and if we burn, you burn with us."

"Cut! We got it." Cressida calls. The crew begins to pick up. I look at the bakery, and imagine Peeta icing those cakes in the window, remembering the day he took a beating to give me bread. Cressida walks up next me.

"This is going to get through to him and a whole lot of people." She says. "How can he ignore that the Capitol burned down his home?" I nod. His family sadly didn't make it out in time. The bombing was so unexpected. Gale realized the trouble that caused from blowing up the arena, and warned as many people as he could. They all got out to the Meadow, about eight hundred. The Capitol is the one who bombed District Twelve. Peeta can't be so blinded.

Gale does some filming by himself. He chooses his home and the forest. They just film him going through his home. Then he stumbles across a crooked metal poker chip. Cressida asks what it was like the day of the bombing, and she asks him to do a reenactment. They film him from his home to the Meadow. While they're filming I stand behind the crew. I'm beginning to feel sick, but I don't want anybody to notice. I just edge closer to a bush just in case I throw up. Please don't throw up, please.

Cressida yells "cut", and we start picking up to go the hovercraft. While just starting to pack up, cheese sandwiches are passed around and we eat them in the shade of trees. I see a Mockingjay in a tree. I tap Pollux on the shoulder and point to the bird. He points to my pin.

"Yes, it's a Mockingjay." Pollux whistles to it, and the bird sings his melody. I whistle and it sings it back. Gale watches, and the other are about to pack their cameras. Pollux is delighted, and then he writes in the dirt with a stick. He nudges my shoulder and I see it reads SING? I'd usually decline, but I can't say no to Pollux. I sing Rue's four notes. The birds sing in harmony. It reminds too much of her death so I ask Pollux for me to do a real song.

I start to sing "The Hanging Tree". My father used to sing it. He taught me it, till I was told it was forbidden. My mother told me to forget about it, and of course, it engraved in my mind. I sing the words softly. The birds focus on my voice. I continue to sing, and notice how they all fall silent. Peeta was right. They do all fall silent when I sing. Just like when my father sings. After my last verse, the birds begin to sing the song. It sounds beautiful and I see Pollux tearing up. I look around me and see that everyone is watching, and Messala has been filming. The birds finish a verse and Cressida yells cut.

Gale and I watch District Twelve fade away from the window. Haymitch sits in front of us. He stayed on the hovercraft during the whole time. He didn't really use the ear piece to communicate with me. I see Haymitch look out the window for second. His expression is sincere and almost sad. There it goes. Good-bye. Maybe it's our final good-bye.

We land in District Thirteen. Plutarch tells me that the editing will be done by this evening, and that Beetee will air the prop tonight. Wow, they sure commit themselves to showing this as soon as they can. I hope I acted well enough. A lot of people might originate their opinion about the war with this prop. I return my bow to the armory with Gale, and then we go to the dining hall. We grab our trays and I see Finnick. Good, he's out. I take a seat opposite of him and Gale sits beside me.

"Nice of you guys to join," he says. "How did it go?"

"I don't know, I was a bit distracted from my lines and all…" I say.

"You did good." Gale says casually. "You really put your heart in it, that statement about our home. Nobody could have done it any better."

"So when are they airing it?"

"Tonight."

"Really? Well I've got something to look forward to. Something different than tying knots over and over and over and…"

"Okay we get it." I say, laughing. I turn my attention to my stew and slice of bread. I know it's more than I used to get. I can't help to think about the lamb stew with the little plums, or you know what sounds really good? Cheese buns. The ones that Pe-. I try to stop my thought mid-track and look at things to distract me. Oh look, the scars on my finger are almost gone..., no use. Peeta. I miss him dearly, but now is not a good place to think about it. Gale pats my back. I turn to look at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. Right? You'll say you're fine." He says. He knows I've been trapped in my thoughts a lot, and that he'll ask me what's wrong, and I'll tell him it's nothing. Finnick isn't paying attention. It looks like he's trapped in his thoughts too. Maybe he's thinking about Annie.

During Reflection, I'm asked to go to Command. I guess Fulvia, Plutarch ,and all of them, want to see my reaction of the prop. I walk in and stand next to Haymitch. On the screen there's the Capitol emblem.

"This message brought to you by…" Beetee was planning to air it just a few minutes after the Capitol show their news. Wait, on the screen is Peeta sitting in front of Caesar Flickerman. There's the original set where Caesar talks to guest. There are screen above them showing Peeta. This Peeta is very different than the first interview. He has dark circles under his eyes, even with makeup. He looks sickly and thinner, and my heart breaks at the sight of it. His fists are clenched and he looks anxious, his hand has a slight tremor. What are they doing to him?

Caesar asks him empty questions, like how he's doing. He speaks emotionlessly, and gives back predictable answers. Why is he lying? He is not fine!

"We've heard that Katniss is filming propos for the districts. What do you think about all this?" asks Caesar.

"They're using her, obviously. Probably telling her she doing a good thing for the war, but she has no idea what she's really doing. She's just rallying up the people from the district to eventually kill themselves."

"Is there anything you would like to tell her?"

"Don't be a fool, Katniss. Think for yourself. You're just an instrument in this destruction of humanity. You should stop this, before it's too late. Do you really trust the people you're working with? Do you really know what's going on? And if you don't… find out." It ends and the emblem of the Capitol shows.

Some of the people behind me are probably thinking how wrong it is to ask for Coin to pardon him. Peeta's words are probably just hurting his case from me asking for his immunity. Then before anyone could say anything about Peeta, the prop goes on. It was artistically done and I watched myself speak with such a different kind of confidence, I didn't know I had. People are watching this in the Capitol, thanks to Beetee. I wonder what Peeta is thinking right now. This has to get through to him and those ignorant citizens.

With struggle to keep the prop showing, it goes back to Peeta and Caesar Flickerman. They're watching it. Peacekeepers are keeping the audience from going crazy. A guy is yelling to get rid of it. The prop goes back on, and it's the scene of the bakery. There's only flashes that last a second of the Capitol televising, and I see Peeta's face. I don't know if it's confusion or some kind of comprehension, but he saw it. The prop finishes with my speech and then it ends. The black screen only shows the words; "_If we burn, you burn with us" _

Plutarch turns off the monitor.

"That was fantastic." He says. Cressida and them are proud of their work, and I try to act happy, but the image of Peeta is still on my mind, and I can tell it's still on Haymitch's too. Gale looks at me, he smiles but it goes away. He knows I'm bothered. I have to act happy. I don't want to make everyone sad because of me. I go to Cressida.

"That was great. You guys did a really good job." I say.

"You too, kid." She says smiling. People are patting me on the back and I smile in gratitude. Coin is calm. She's giving a tiny smile, which to me, looks ominous. Gale is talking about his part to Castor, how well they filmed it. Fulvia, I could tell was not as happy. I guess it's because Haymitch's idea worked over hers.

Coin has had enough of the self-congratulating. "So what else do you have planned?" she asks.

Cressida consults a clip board. "Well, Fulvia came up with this really brilliant idea."

Fulvia's expression is swiped off her face. "I don't know how brilliant it is, but I was thinking we could do a series of propos called _We Remember_. In each one, we would feature one of the dead tributes. Little Rue from Eleven or Old Mags from Four. The idea being that we could target each district with a very personal piece."

"That is brilliant, Fulvia," I say sincerely. "It's perfect for reminding people why we're fighting."

"I thought we might use Finnick to intro and narrate the spots. If there was interest in them."

"Frankly, I don't see how we could have too many of those kinds of propos," says Coin. "Can you start producing them today?"

"Of course." Says Fulvia, surely proud of her idea now. Fulvia, Plutarch, and the crew talk within themselves. Just talking about little things they'll do for the propos and then I notice Haymitch is gone. I walk out of Command and catch up with him. He stops, and we don't say anything. We know what we're thinking. Peeta is not well. Just days ago, he looked healthy and now he looks terrible. The Capitol is clearing torturing him. The effects are clearly recognizable and it's even worse because it's only been days.

"Say it," he says.

"How could you not save him?" I say sadly.

"We barely made it out of there, just getting you. The hovercraft might have gone down if we stayed any longer." I look down. Then look up at him.

"Now you say it."

"How could you let him leave your side?" he says. I nod and swallow the feeling in my throat.

"I know. I think it over in my head a hundred times, but I can't seem to find a way, that I could have saved him."

"I know what you mean. Listen, I'm still your mentor, so I'm still getting you through this. You listen to me, okay?"

"We'll see." I say.

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><p><em><strong>I've updating regularly, but I might not be tomorrow, I don't know. Computer issues. Thanks for reading, though! Have an awesome day.<strong>_

**_- cheezebuns_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hello! A got a chance to use my computer. Today I bring you chapter 6.**_

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><p>When I go the boarding cell, I find Prim holding her hideous cat. She smiles. Buttercup gets off her lap and gets as much as away from me as he can. I laugh. He probably hates me for stuffing him in a bag to get him here in District Thirteen.<p>

"I saw it Katniss. It was really good."

"You watched it?"

"Yes, well… I looked away a few times, but overall you did really great."

"Did mother see it?" I ask.

"Kind of, she saw a little, and then left to work on something." Prim says. I sigh. Well, that's my mother. She looks away when it gets too ugly. I walk to our drawers where we keep our clothes. Then out of the blue, I feel very depress and I start tearing up. What the heck? I cannot be crying. Prim notices and she motions for me to sit with her. I shut the drawer and I sit next to her and wipe my eyes.

"It's nothing this time Prim. I think it's just the hormones, mood swings, or something." Something had to cause it, so it's probably because of Peeta. I can't stand not having him here. Finnick was right. Just like their using Annie, they're using Peeta to slowly break me. Can I do anything about it?

I try to go to sleep, but I can't stop thinking. Turn off, mind! Why won't you? Now I'm talking to myself. I hold the pearl and start rolling it down my arm. I lie down, and roll the pearl on my stomach. It falls to the floor and I scramble out of bed for it. I finally find it and quietly get back to bed, like it will make up for the noise I made. Luckily, nobody wakes up.

I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah, my vitamins. I quietly open the little drawer and get them from my hiding place in the little silver parachute. I take one with a cup of tap water. I look into the mirror and see an exhausted looking girl. There are bags under her eyes and there are faint little scars. This is the real Katniss, not the one who acts for cameras with her perfect skin and fearless attitude. I'm very much afraid, but acting brave for the war is like an act of bravery on its own. Being the image of the rebellion. I lie in bed and eventually fall asleep, only to fall into a nightmare.

_I'm in the woods with Gale, but it seems it's cloudy, so my surroundings seem to have a bluish tint. The surroundings are unreal, but it feels real. I'm following Gale. I don't know where we're going. He doesn't speak, and when I ask him to turn around it's not him. Snow. His mouth dripping with blood, and suddenly I'm pushed to the ground while he points a gun to my head. I wake up in my boarding cell, sitting straight up, and feeling my heart racing in my chest. _

"_Katniss it's okay. It was only a nightmare." I recognize the voice. It's Peeta. He sits at the side of my bed. He's here and my eyes water with happiness and relief._

"_Peeta, you're here!" I hug him. He holds me and I feel safe._

"_It's alright, Katniss. I'll always be here." I want to object, because he wasn't here, but footsteps come to the door. I see the person's shadow through the crack at the bottom of the door. Then I smell it. Genetically enhanced roses. Peeta lets go of me and walks to the door. _

"_No! don't open it, please!" I shout, Peeta looks back, but the door is swung open violently and a black silhouette of man plunges a knife into Peeta's chest. He falls to the ground. "No!" I fall to the floor, on my knees, sobbing. I sit on my legs next to Peeta's motionless body. The black figure comes forward and points his gun to my head. I want him to shoot me. I want him to just end my life right now, but no, that would be too easy. He points it to my abdomen. _

"_Not you, just yet," the trigger is pulled._

Then I really wake up.

I dress, and get my schedule. I then go to the Dining Hall to eat breakfast with Gale and Finnick.

"I'm going to Command right after this." I say.

"What's up?" asks Gale.

"We have to do something about rescuing the tributes in the Capitol." Gale raises an eyebrow, but Finnick looks up in interest.

"They're using them. We have to save them." I say.

"Yes! A rescue mission." Says Finnick. Gale looks at me.

"You're asking to go on a rescue mission to the Capitol? Because what we saw last night?"

"Yes. It's time to get something done."

"You have, Katniss. Did you forget about the prop?"

"We have to save them. I can't… We can't just sit here, while they're being tortured."

"Peeta…" says Gale solemnly. I don't know if he's not for the idea, or he doesn't like it that I'm taking a huge leap to save Peeta.

"and Johanna…" I add.

"Annie," says Finnick. "I'll go with you to Command. I'll go on the mission." He says. I'm little worried for his health, but he knows exactly what this means to both of us. Gale is disappointed at me for getting Finnick into this idea, because he thinks he's not that stable and all…

"The Capitol has a hand on this because they have them, but once they're rescued there is nothing stopping us." I say. Gale gives a slight nod. We're going to Command.

Luckily, everybody is there in Command; Coin, Plutarch, Boggs, Fulvia, Haymitch. Now why are they here? Doesn't matter.

"Katniss, what are you doing here?" asks Coin.

"We need to set up a rescue mission." I say.

"Agreed, but we can't do that now."

"Why not?" asks Finnick.

"We are close at hand in getting more intel on the Capitol, and it is best we wait till then. Also, we were just planning a trip to District 2." She says.

"To District 2?" says Gale. Plutarch steps forward.

"District 2 is the only district right now that is still allying with Capitol. Many of the Peacekeepers come from District 2, and that's where the Peacekeeper Headquarters is. They are currently working in making weaponry and tanks and such there, since the other Districts are against the Capitol." Plutarch says. This is just stalling from rescuing Peeta and them, but it is important. "We'll get you on a hovercraft tomorrow o' twelve hundred hours. You'll be in battle, but you'll have the crew and bodyguards, which includes Gale."

"Let me go." Says Finnick.

"I'm sorry Finnick, but you aren't stable enough." says Plutarch.

"Yes I am!" he says loudly. Coin looks straight at him.

"Finnick, you just demonstrated how undisciplined you are. If you want to work with us you must stay here for this mission. You must get better. This is how you will help those tributes. This is how you will help Annie." She says seriously. Finnik relaxes, but he clearly doesn't like Coin. Huh, neither do I.

"Katniss, Gale, you'll go to the Training Center today." Says Boggs. "We'll have a meeting tomorrow, O' eight hundred hours, for the trip with all the soldiers going." I look to Haymitch, and he hasn't said a word. He just stands there in the background. Maybe Haymitch introduced the rescue mission.

"Everybody is dismissed." Says Coin.

Finnick and Gale and I walk down the hallway, and I notice Finnick's expression.

"Finnick we're soon going to get Annie." I say. He gives a sigh.

"Yes, I know, but there goes another day of them being in the Capitol. We don't have a whole lot time, you know?"

"I know. I want them back as soon as possible, but once we win over District 2, there will be nobody to protect the Capitol, and we'll get them back." I say. Finnick nods dolefully. Gale doesn't say anything. He doesn't have any part in this, which sadly makes me feel guilty, for thinking so much about Peeta. He has to know I love him, and that I love Peeta differently than I do him. I guess my actions haven't been to convincing of that. My stomach feels sick all of the sudden.

"I got go." I say. I run down the hall and find the nearest bathroom, next to the dining hall. I don't bother to look back and see Finnick and Gale are following me. I go into a stall and throw up. There goes my bread and milk. I wipe my mouth and gurgle some water. When I walk out, Gale and Finnick just walk up to me. They both have confused looks.

"Uh, feeling sick, must have drunk sour milk." I say. Finnick dismisses it, but Gale knows something's up, but he lets it go for now.

When we go to training I take my wonderful bow and start shooting at the range. Younger boys and other trainees, who just started training watch in amazement. It feels good. I'm not one to show off, but I take pride in it. Gale does well too. He shows some guys how to aim and get a strong hand on the bow. I see him helping a girl about my age. She smiles when Gale helps her with the aiming; he puts his arm over hers. She shoots an arrow straight. She turns to Gale smirking, her dark red hair swaying over her shoulders. He turns her attention back to the target. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm not all jealous; girls are always like that with him. I do feel kind of irritated though.

Boggs compliments on our shooting but takes us to the hand-to-hand combat station. I could tell Gale wasn't trying to hit me too hard; he doesn't have be soft on me. I get a real good hit at his ribs, and then he smiles ominously and really tries to hit me. Boggs shows us a few techniques, and then we go off to other stations like shooting actual guns in the shooting range, climbing ropes, running a few miles. I'm exhausted by the end of it. We get a quick lesson in first-aid, and then we are dismissed.

I know I'm not supposed to strain myself, but I couldn't let anybody think I'm a weak or lazy, or … pregnant. Keeping it a secret is harder than I thought, especially with all these precautions. I say bye to Gale and go to my boarding cell to take a bath. My mother greets me when I walk in.

"Katniss, sweetheart, I've been meaning to talk to you." Uh oh, what could this be about? I sit on my bed and she sits across from me. "I know I have been busy, and all. The hospital is in constant need of volunteers. Well, what I want to say is that you can talk to me, or call me whenever you like. I know your stressing out about the Mockingjay part, and I want you to think of me as someone you can talk to." She says. I can't help but think how ironic this all is.

"I know I was very distant at times, and that you were put a lot on your shoulders. Now it's my turn. I'm your mother and I want to help you anyway I can." I think through it in my head. She's asking for my problems, but I still think she'll always need protecting. She's trying, but she has to know that she has a limit, and when she reaches it, she'll go back the way she was after my father died.

"Thank you." I say. She waits silently to see if I'll pour my heart out, but I don't.

"You talk to me whenever you want." She says and kisses me on the forehead. She goes into the bathroom and closes the door. I feel the guilt again. She probably knows how upset I am about Peeta. I guess I could talk to her. I can't tell her I'm pregnant, at least not now. I'm going to dread that day when I do tell her. She'll probably be upset, because I waited to tell her. Not now. I'm just not going to tell her today. Then there are the missions. I have to go on those. She'll worry about my safety, but it's mandatory that I go. She can't talk me out of it. She's very protective, but what kind of mother would she be if she wasn't? I wonder if my kid will think I'm over protective.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks for being patient. Reviews would be awesome. <em>**

**_- cheezebuns_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**I like this chapter, but I hope it's not too long. I made cheese buns yesterday. They were good. Recipe from Hunger Games cook book. Ha,**_

_**Random Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**_

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><p>Uniform, check; bow, check; shoulder cam, check; ear piece, check; a pickle, check. I've been having a crazy appetence for pickles and Dr. Odessa kindly got one for me. She laughed when I told her I <em>needed<em> a pickle. I wonder if she could get in trouble for stealing pickles for pregnant girls. I put the plastic bag with the pickle in my hood. I don't know when I'll be able to eat it. We're on the hovercraft to District 8. Other aircrafts flock toward the district with more rebels and supplies. Beetee and Gale sit silently. They look like they're concentrating. Poor Finnick. He borrowed a uniform and planned to sneak onto one of the hovercrafts. A female soldier recognized him. He was ordered to leave the Hangar, which he did obediently, but he was mad.

District Two is in a mountainous region. A large mountain is surrounded by multiple villages. The mountain houses the Peacekeeper Headquarters. At the foot of the mountain is the town square. I remember it when Peeta and I were on the Victory Tour. Seeing the families of Cato and Clove, brought back painful memories. Villages near the mountain are still guarded, but farther ones are rebel villages. The rebels have been trying to acquire the Headquarters and have had no success.

District Two is actually a really beautiful place, but it's the site of the Peacekeeper Headquarters and it is known for their Career Tributes. Those factors put it down on my list. The mountain air is energizing and I think it's helping my health. Gale and I hunt in the woods near the rebel villages. The game we catch is used for the soldiers. Gale, and Beetee stay with the soldiers, but I'm constantly moved from different households, for safety. I repay the household with game. People found out Mockinjays are hazardous to your health.

We're called to an assembly. The commander from 2, Lyme, takes us on virtual tour of the Nut. (The nickname of the mountain, because it's _such a hard nut to crack_.) Hours go by of trying to come up with a realistic plan. Taking the entrances has been attempted so many times before and has failed.

"The next person who suggests we take the entrance better have a brilliant way to do it, because you're going to be leading that mission!" Lyme was getting frustrated.

Gale speaks up. "Is it really necessary that we take the Nut? Or would it be enough to disable it? Thinking of it as a wild dog's den," Gale continues. "You can't fight your way in, so you have two choices. Trap them or flush them out."

"We've tried bombing the entrances. They're set too far inside for any real damage."

"I was thinking more about using the mountain. Avalanches."

"We'd have to design the detonation sequence with great care. Maybe a team could plant bombs in the generators so there would be no power and no call for assistance. And if we do start the avalanche, there's no hope in controlling it." Says Beetee.

"We don't need to control it, if we're not concerned in taking the Nut. Just trap them."

"They could still escape through the train tunnels." Says Beetee.

"Not if we blow it up." He adds. Everyone thinks about it. Some have worried looks on their faces, and some are actually proud. Gale is sort of scarying me.

"You don't know how those District two people ended it up it the Nut," I say. "They could be there against their will, and some of them are our own spies."

"You said we had two choices." Says Boggs. "We can flush them out. We just cut off communication, avalanche the mountain and leave the train tunnel alone. We can meet them in town square."

"Heavily armed I hope." Gale says.

"Heavily armed. We'll take them prisoner." Says Boggs.

"Let's bring Thirteen into the loop now," Beetee suggests. "Let Coin weigh in."

"She'll want to block the tunnels." Says Gale.

"Yes, most likely. But you know, Peeta did have a point on the dangers or killing ourselves off… I've been researching… It's worth a conversation." Says Beetee.

Gale and I were not part of that conversation. Most of us were called to leave the room. I took Gale hunting so he could blow off steam, but I think he's mad at me for countering him. Later, We were told a decision was made, and a plan was to be executed the next day.

"Plan Review." Says Boggs. "Team 431 will go into the Headquarters and plant the bombs. Outside forces will plant bombs outside of the mountain itself. We exit the Headquarters, and get to point B. Then we'll be dropped off, with team 312, to the town square. That is when the avalanche will start. The Nut will be caved, so that everyone has to come out through the train tunnels. This is where they will surrender or we will launch an attack. Understood?" says Boggs.

"Yes sir," a bunch of soldiers say in union. Gale is examining his gun. I don't get a gun. I don't want one. In self defense, yes I'll have to kill people with my arrows, but it still bothers me. Gale has the opposite opinion. It seems he looks forward to using that gun on those people in alliance with the Capitol. It was him and Beetee who designed the bombs we're using. It reminds me of all the Capitol talk he would say when we were out in the forest hunting. He always spoke violently against them. I hate them too, but I thought it was all just talk. Now he's getting his chance.

The hovercraft hovers a little above the mountain, which caves the Peacekeeper headquarters. We slide down poles that grow till it's just a few inches from the ground. Gale is below me and a soldier is right above me. Guns are already going off. I think a bullet just went by my ear. There are Peacekeepers trying to stop our invasion. The ones on the roof are quickly taken down.

"Stay behind me okay?" says Gale over the noise. I nod, and we all start making our way into the mountain. We find a porthole and slide down the ladder. Boggs leads our team and the crew through tight hallways. We occasionally encounter Peacekeepers, but it seems Gale is always the one taking them out. We reach an end to the tight hallways, and that's when Boggs decides to go for the main hallways. A soldier kicks open a door. We're walking down the hallway, always looking around us. It looks like we are in the dorms.

"Here!" Boggs shouts. Another soldier kicks open a door and we find some kind of generator. Why would they have a generator by the dorms? Gale plants the bomb with the help of a soldier named Rike, an expert on explosives. "We need the Main Generator." Says Boggs. Oh, this isn't even the big one. We go down at least ten flights of stairs and we reach the bottom floor. Boggs orders a breach. A small bomb is attached to a heavy door. "Back up!" We get a few feet away from it and then Rike detonates it with a grin on his face. My ears are ringing, I fall on my butt. Castor turns the camera toward another soldier.

"Katniss, come on." Says Gale, giving me a hand up. He pulls me up and we continue. We go into a large room, with a high ceiling. Up on the metal balconies are about 50 Peacekeepers. Boggs orders us to fire. I don't know if the few on our teams can take them all out. I'm shooting arrows with small tazers. An arrow gets a guy in the chest, and then he, and others around him, are shocked severely. They fall to the ground. I don't know if they're dead, but they won't be getting up.

There are still so many Peacekeepers. Boggs yells "Now!", and Rike presses a button. The ceiling is crumbling down, because of the first smaller bomb we planted. Our teams escaped to the next room. We have to move fast, or we'll be caved in. We go down a flight of stairs and get to the lower level. We run ahead to the basement. A bomb is used to open the locked door. It's very hot, from the generator, and pipes are blowing steam. Gale and Rike begin to attach the bomb. I hear footsteps and see shadows approaching the basement.

"Incoming!" I say and everybody else turns toward the entrance. The crew is still filming, even under attack. Peacekeepers shoot their guns blindly. Boggs tugs me down behind a crate.

"Cover the bomb!" He shouts. I quickly begin taking out Peacekeepers with my arrows. Gale and Rike steadily work on the bomb. There are only a few Peacekeepers left when I hear Gale shout out in pain.

"Gale!" I shout. He has been shot in his upper chest. I run over to where he is and pull him behind cover. Rike continues working, while some soldiers cover him. No, not Gale.

"Gale, hold on." I say. He puts his hand over his wound. I have to stop the bleeding. From one of the pockets on my leg, I take out a bandage. I put it over his wound and tape it there tightly. It will have to do for now. "Pressure," I say, and he slowly puts his hand over it. I press on it with his hand.

"Katniss, up front!" a soldier beside me shouts. I load an arrow and shoot at the Peacekeepers. A few go down. I get behind the crate and load another arrow, but apparently my arm was not covered. A bullet grazes my arm. I yell out in pain, but I try to keep going. Rike finishes planting the bomb, and now we have to escape.

Rike and another soldier quickly pick up Gale and we all exit the basement. We're running up the flights of stairs, and my heart is pounding so hard, I think it's going to come out. We're almost to the roof. I'm aching but we're almost there. Boggs climbs up a ladder and pulls me up. A ladder is dropped down from a hovercraft. Boggs tells me to go up, when I look back for Gale. The ladder mechanically rises up and see some kind of net dropped. The soldiers climb up and Gale is brought up with the net. Gale is taken to the back of the hovercraft. I want to be there with him, but Boggs tells me to stay here.

The hovercraft drops us in the town square. Gale stays on the hovercraft. There are more of the rebel soldiers here. Large screens are on buildings. These screens were used to show our faces to the crowd during the Victory Tour. They must have despised our faces.

The main bomb is detonated and we wait till they all come pushing out of the tunnels. Cressida attaches a special microphone to my uniform. Through my earpiece, Haymitch informs me that'll be making a speech. The sound will come from the emergency audio. Then my image will be shown if they get one of the screens to work. But I felt dread as soon as I heard "speech". I'm not really good at making speeches.

"I don't know if I can do this." I say into the earpiece.

"I'll be feeding you the lines. You could save a lot of lives, Katniss," Haymitch says. And with that I walk to the top of stairs of the Justice Building and turn on my mike. Then I seen the trains come in and wounded people begin to push out. A young man with a head wound staggers, dragging a gun. He trips and I see scorch marks down the back of his shirt, and suddenly he's just another burn victim.

I run down the stairs to the man. "Stop!" I yell to the rebels. "Hold your fire!" I'm reaching to help, when the man with bloody gash on his head points his gun at me. I put my bow on my back and show him my intention was harmless.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you." He garbles.

I freeze where I am. This seems too familiar. He plans on shooting me, and I have no good reason he shouldn't. "I can't." I say. The man is perplexed. "We've got every reason to kill each other. So do it. Make the Capitol happy. I'm done killing slaves for them." I drop my bow.

"I am not their slave."

"I am. I've killed Cato… he killed Thresh… he killed Clove. It's just a circle of killing for the killing of another. Nobody wins. Except the Capitol. They always win at their game, and I'm tired of being part of it." I crouch down to the man's level. "They're making us fight against our friends and even our families. Why are we letting them force us to kill each other?"

"I don't know," says the man. I stand up and look to the rebels.

"We aren't here to kill. We're here for change." I look back to the man. "We're here for you to help us. If you go on our side, we can fight the Capitol and win. They won't have their protection. They can be stopped. The dictatorship, the Hunger Games, will all be rid of. We need District 2. We need everyone, so we can put an end to their power. Please, join us! Show them that they can't rule the Districts anymore!" The man lays his gun on the floor. We've done it, but a quick look at the screen and it seems otherwise. I see myself getting shot.

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><p><em><strong>I added some parts to the event in the book. Less boring, I think. Thanks for reading. Reviews are awesome.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Happy MLK. To celebrate, I've uploaded the chapter that I've been so stoked to upload. Yay! Hope it goes way past expectations. and if it doesn't... well..._**

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

The day I've been dreading has finally crept up on me and swallowed me whole. That's how I would describe it. My secret is out. They know. They now know… I'm pregnant.

I get shot in my shoulder, inches away from my vital organs… and the baby. After I got shot, rebel soldiers backed the citizens of District Two away. I don't know if they continued fighting. I'd like to think that even though they fired at me, that person was not speaking for everyone, and that they had agreed to stop the Capitol. All I remember is being taken to the hovercraft and then seeing Gale lying on a cot beside me.

I'm at the hospital. I'm back in the same room when I was first brought to District Thirteen. They took out the bullet, and it seemed that nothing was seriously injured but when they were going to give me pain killers, Dr. Odessa had informed them of my state. Surprised? They probably all had disapproving faces. Coin wasn't there before they told my mother. I wonder what her reaction was. I wasn't awake then. When I first woke up, Dr. Odessa was there. She told me I would be okay, and about what happened in District Two. Then she told me that she told the doctors and my mother that I was pregnant. I was mad at first. Saying how she ruined my chances of saving Peeta and them in the Capitol. I got over it. It was going to happen. Dr. Odessa understood. She gave me a pickle, and left.

I was expecting a visit from my mother, but she didn't come that day. Maybe she was really upset at me, for not telling her. Maybe she thinks I didn't know. That seems unlikely, because I'm about 3 months. I did get a visit from Haymitch.

"Hey kid wake up." I open my eyes and see Haymitch by the bed. I rub my eyes and brace myself for what he has to say.

"I heard about your little situation there." He says, in a sober tone. "Didn't think you would keep it a secret forever did you?" I keep my gaze down.

"I had to." I say determinedly, but my voice sounds dry.

"To save the boy, right? You kept it a secret so nobody would stop you from marching into battle. You are a fool. You're probably crazy, but hey, people do stupid stuff for the ones they love." He says. I look at him. I'm surprised he said that. "You-love-him. This isn't just a plan that we came up with. This is all you. You're having his kid, right?"

"Yeah." I say trying to keep my voice from cracking. I slowly move a string of hair out of my face. "I do… love him."

"This was bound to happen. All he cared about was you. It would be heartless, if you didn't feel anything at all for the boy. Who am I to speak about his mushy stuff. I'll leave it to your mother." I look down at my hands. Then he gets some kind of sad expression on his face.

"It's a little bit of bad time to be having kids, isn't it?" He has a sober expression. "Just a few know about this. I got to go. I'm looking into plans. Don't get hormonal on me." He smiles a little, but I know he's still a little disappointed in me. Disappointment can make you feel really bad. Don't cry. Don't cry. I give out a sigh.

"So." I say, letting out a deep breath. "What are they going to do with me now?" Haymitch shrugs, like _don't ask me_.

I'm let out of the hospital and the first thing I do is find Gale. Thank goodness, he's going to be alright. He's going to be bed-ridden for a few days so he can heal. He was shot right above his heart. I reach his room and a doctor comes out of the door. He gives a polite smile and nods an "okay" for me to go in. Gale is bandaged across his chest and watches a small screen on the wall. He sees me and he smirks. I sit in a chair beside his bed.

"Hey Catnip." He says.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Like shit, but I'm okay." I laugh a little. "What happened in Two?"

"I gave a speech." I say, and he looks at me doubtfully. "Instead of listening to Boggs, I ran to an injured, armed citizen and told him to join us." He laughs. "Well, I actually said more, like how they could team up with us, and we could take down the Capitol. How there would be no more Hunger Games, and districts would be free."

"Did they listen?"

"Yes, they did. It was dead silent, until a single person shot me."

"You got shot?"

"Yes, but in the arm. Neither side went on a full attack, but I was taken to the hovercraft, so I don't know what happened after that." I say. "The whole mission was pretty successful, but for that one little part." Gale laughs a little.

"Can't laugh too much. My ribs hurt." He says smiling. I give him a sympathetic glance. I wonder if he knows about me being pregnant. No, he doesn't. He would be upset if he knew.

"I'll let you rest now. Let you heal up." I start getting up.

"Katniss," he calls. I stop in front of the door. "Next, the Capitol." He says. I nod and leave the room. I don't think I'll be going on that mission. They still are going to rescue them, right? Even if I'm not going? They'll bring them here and give them the trial. Finnick has been wanting to go. I've been wanting to go.

I'm walking slowly. Taking my sweet ol' time. I find myself in front of the small room where my mother works. Through the small window I see she's not with a patient. Before I think too much, I open the door. My mother looks up from a paper and her face saddens. She walks up to me. I don't say anything. Then, she hugs me. It's unexpected. I think. The first thing I thought to happen was to be yelled at or something. I hug her in return. I've needed this. A hug from my mother. We break away and she looks right at me

"Katniss, I'm still disappointed in you." She says.

"You have every right to be." I say. I deserved to be yelled at.

"First, the fact that you're pregnant. You weren't thinking, were you?" that was a rhetorical question because she keeps going. "Then you find out you're pregnant, and keep it a secret! Dr. Odessa keeps your secret and lets you go. Thirdly, you go on these extremely risky, dangerous missions, while you know you're pregnant! Are you crazy? You are in no condition to be in a battle." She takes a breath. "Why?" she simply asks.

"I don't understa-…"

"What was the reason that kept you from telling me and telling Plutarch and everybody involved in this whole Mockingjay business?"

"I had to keep it a secret, so I could continue to be the Mockingjay. I asked for the immunity of the tributes in exchange for me being their Mockinjay. If I didn't act on it, the immunity would be taken away. If they knew I was pregnant they would cancel the agreement, since I would have to stay in District 13." She just looks at me. What else can I say? She has to understand.

"Who knew, when Dr. Odessa told you that you were pregnant?"

"Dr. Odessa told Coin. Coin told me to not tell anyone." I say. I don't want to tell her I told Prim, or she would get in trouble too.

"That's all who knew?" I don't say anything, and she infers I didn't tell anyone else. She's probably upset at President Coin, but she's just a healer, and she can't tell the president what to do. At least not yet. "You have been taking vitamins?"  
>"Yes."<p>

"Hopefully, this baby will come out healthy, and unaffected of what you have done." She says.

Days later. The news of my pregnancy is only held between important officials that have to deal with me; Coin, Boggs, I think Plutarch and Fulvia. So, people like my stylists, the crew, Finnick, and Gale and everybody else don't know. They're going to find out sooner or later. On my schedule is _Command._ Probably about the mission to the Capitol. I walk with Gale, who is almost completely healed, and Finnick, who is finally getting his chance. We all take seats at the large table.

"We are planning a rescue mission for the captured tributes. We do not want to start a full on battle there yet. We will be entering and leaving as undetected as we possibly can. In and out quietly." Says Boggs.

"Quietly? We can't just blow them up while we're at it?" says Finnick.

"It is a rescue mission. We want to get our targets out of there as safely as we can." He says. "We'll organize a team They'll be going through the tunnels under the building where they are being held. It shouldn't be too difficult, because the dungeons are on the lowest level."

"You're sure they're there?" Finnick asks.

"Yes, our insider intel has confirmed that they are all being held there. The insiders' cover might be blown on this mission, but it is for an important purpose."

"I have to go." I say.

"Request denied." Says Boggs. Gale and Finnick are confused as why is that.

"What do you mean she can't go?" asks Gale. "Didn't you say that we were all able?"

"I did, but due to some circumstances, she cannot go on this mission." Says Boggs. I give a glance to Coin, but she is expressionless.

"Please, let me go. My condition doesn't really affect me. The last mission I was fine." I say.

"No, Katniss." He says. "You know why." He says more softly. Gale and Finnick look at me uncomprehending of what is going on. "Gale, Finnick, you two will meet here in Command twenty-one hundred hours tomorrow." Says Boggs. President Coin does not say anything. Her expression is a mix of sternness, and discountenance. I don't know what she thinking right now. Possibly thinking about how to punish Peeta for being a traitor. When we're dismissed, I leave in front of Gale and Finnick. I walk briskly and look at my schedule for my next period. Gale and Finnick catch up to me.

"What were they talking about?" asks Gale sternly. Keep walking, keep walking. "Katniss, what were they talking about?" he says again.

"A condition." I respond.

"A condition?" He says doubting.

"I have some sort of health condition that makes Boggs thinks I'm not able in the mission."

"What kind of condition?" he asks. He's not buying it. He seems frustrated for me talking in circles. I'm trying to think of lie, but I can't. I'm trying to think of a way to say it lightly, but I can't either.

"I, I can't go because…" Ugh, this is hard.

"What is it?" he asks. I can't tell him here in the hallway. I need to get somewhere more private, or at least stall some time. I start running down the hallway.

"What the hell are you doing?" I hear Gale say behind me. Gale and Finnick run after me. Where can I go? I run till I get to my boarding cell. I go in and leave the door unlocked. If he's still determined to find out, this where I'll tell him, but if he's not coming, that's fine with me. They both come in. Gale and Finnick come in, getting fed up for trying to get an answer.

"What is it?" asks Gale.

"Katniss what's wrong?" Finnick says a little more kindly. I stand in the corner, trying get myself to say it.

"Katnis- …" Gale says in a raised voice. He won't let me think! He's yelling.

"I'm pregnant!" I shout. I walk a few steps back and rub my forehead. Why did I shout at him? He was only asking.

"I'm sorry for shouting." I say. There, I said it. I feel terrible. Gale is shocked and so is Finnick.

"You're…" Gale brows furrow together.

"Yes, I'm pregnant." My voice lowers with each word. "They found out when I was admitted to the hospital for the gunshot wound." I say softly. Finnick cocks his head to one side. Finnick glances at Gale then at me.

"It's Peeta's, isn't it?" asks Gale. I nod. He crosses his arms over his chest and doesn't look me in eye.

"Did you find out then?" Finnick asks. I shake my head. "So, you've kept it a secret this whole time?" asks Finnick.

"Yes, so I could go on the missions and keep the agreement with Coin." Finnick nods in comprehension, but he looks sadly at me. I did it for Peeta, but also for Johanna, and Annie. Finnick is unsure if he should leave me alone with Gale, who's about to explode. I motion for Finnick to go ahead and leave. He nods sympathetically and closes the door after him. Here we go.

"I don't get it." Says Gale

"Get what?"

"You're forced to be with him, then almost marry him, and then you go have a baby with him? You didn't want to get married or have children. You said you weren't in love with him."

"I do."

"You do what, Katniss?"

"I do, love him." I say for the first time confidently. Gale gives a sad chuckle.

"You're fooling yourself. You're having his baby, and telling yourself that you love him. Would you love him if you weren't forced to be together and having his baby?"

"Yes, I would be. He loves me, and though it took me awhile to really figure that out, I realized I share that same feeling, that I couldn't live on without him."

"I hope, for your sake that what you're saying is true. If it's not, then you really screwed up." He walks out and slams the door. I sit on the bed. I don't cry, because I'm sure what I said is true. I should be upset about probably losing my best friend. It's probably selfish to think he'll still go on that rescue mission. I try to make myself feel better, by telling myself that I had to tell him sooner and later, and that his anger will subside. I lift my shirt a little and put my hand where the baby is supposed to be.

"We're causing a lot of trouble, me and you."

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for the reviews. They really make writing this story fun. (other than writing it) Have an awesome day.<strong>_

_**- cheezebuns**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thanks to InLoveWithPeeta, jesuschick13, LoudAvox, peetamellarkbuns for your multiple lovely reviews. And to those who read this. **_

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

When I wake up, everything from last night floods into my head. I don't know how I'll face it. Gale is upset at me, and I've been feeling paranoia from people. Most of them don't know, but still. They probably think I'm a foolish girl, whose stupid hormones control her every action. I'll soon be an adult, though. In a few weeks or so...

My mother and Prim help me up, give me vitamins. I have breakfast with them. Just my mother, Prim and I. I didn't feel liking talking. My mother didn't force me to talk about it. I think she understood that I just wanted a little silence from the whole situation. They know I told Gale.

When we finish our mushed apple and grains, Prim hugs me and she and my mother get on with their day. I go put my arm in the hole in the wall, and get my schedule. Looks like a meeting in Command. Oh goody. Why do I need to be there? I'm not going on the mission. The thought of seeing those people make me sick, or maybe it's the morning sickness. Maybe they're going to tell me the mission is canceled. It would be unlikely, but things haven't been going well for me.

In Command, Haymitch, Fulvia, Plutarch, President Coin, Cressida, Boggs, Finnick, Messalla, Castor, Pollux are all there, along with some other generals. Oh look, Gale. He's not scowling at me. He looks at me, then looks away. He is not giving me the rage of guilt I should be getting from him. Why is that?

"About time." Says Coin.

"Why am I here?" I ask. Plutarch steps forward.

"The Capitol aired something last night." I feel complete dread at what it could be. "We'll play it once. I hate to show it to you, but it's important." He says. The screen is turned on and Haymitch motions for me to sit in the chair next to him. He looks sad. I'm terrified now.

On the screen, is Snow. He stands in front of a large map of Panem in the background, at a podium. He greets the nation, and the camera zooms out to show Peeta sitting on an elevated chair. He looks worse. Next to me is Finnick and he grasps my hand, to give an anchor.

Peeta commences in speaking of a cease-fire. The map behind them animates the districts and show footage of the destruction that the war has caused. There's a broken dam in District 7, and train on its side on a broken bridge. Then the some of footage of the _We Remember_ prop show up. Then the footage of the destruction in the district begins to shows. When it flashes back to the Capitol, Snow is shouting at the camera operators. Peeta tries to continue his speech with the bombing of water purification plants, but it goes back to the footage of District 2. Then it show what I wasn't there for.

After I was shot, and the shooter was captured. That injured armed man, called for the District to join the alliance. District Two citizens went against the Peacekeepers with the help of the rebels. They seceded any Capitol contributions and showed that it was worth fighting the Capitol. Some people were yelling in disagreement, but the mayor gave a speech and relinquished the chance in still being for the Capitol. The rebels set up medical tents for the wounded. Supplies were given out. They only thing really destroyed, was the Peacekeeper Headquaters. That was real change being made. That was what the Mockingjay was supposed to do.

The set in the Capitol is in chaos. There is frantic exchanges from their booth. Snow plows forward and asks Peeta if, from tonights demonstration, he has any parting thoughts for Katniss Everdeen.

"Katniss… how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you… in Thirteen… dead by sunset!"

"End it!" we hear Snow say off camera. The camera is knocked down to see the white tile. There are heavy footsteps, and a blow of impact, that causes Peeta's unseen pain. You can hear him cry out in pain. His blood splatters over the tile. The image of the Capitol emblem replaces it.

I want to scream, but when I try to, nothing comes out. Haymitch has seen this already, but he feels his pain. Plutarch turns off the monitor and looks to the audience sympathetically.

"It was aired last night, but you were nowhere to be found." He says.

After the argument with Gale, I decided to go into the storage closet. I usually went in there to hide. Nobody found me there until Gale did one time, but he wasn't going to look for me. So I sat on the floor with my knees under my chin and probably stayed there for about an hour.

"We think what Peeta said was a warning." Says Haymitch.

"Just that why would he announce it us?" says Plutarch. "Would Snow give him that information?"

"It has to be. We know him. He meant it." I say.

"Yes, or why would Snow shut it down?" Haymitch says, not mentioning the other part. "District Thirteen needs to evacuate. They probably plan on bombing District 13." Before Plutarch says anything, Coin stands.

"We will call for an emergency evacuation into the shelters. The rescue mission will be moved from tomorrow to sometime following this aftermath. It's best that we all return to our boarding cells till the announcement. Dismissed."

More events to stall the rescue. After seeing Peeta brutally hit on screen, I just wanted to get him out of there. The more time we spend here, the more Peeta and them are else is in Snow's hands, and he can do anything to them. Haymitch must know what I'm thinking, because he grabs my shoulders and looks straight at me. "We're going to get them out of there."

The sirens and the announcements come on, and everybody is led to the shelters, deeper down into the earth. I was alone in the boarding cell, and inferred that my mother and Prim were still helping to transport patients into the shelters. I'm the first one in shelter 432. There are bunk beds, radio, a few supplies and flashlights. I read the sign, "Instructions". I probably read them ten times, till some people who will inhabit 432, come in. My mother is there and she walks up to me.

"Where's Prim?" she asks. "She left before me from the hospital."

"What? She's not here. Could she have gone somewhere?"

"She didn't mention anything to me. Where could she have gone? They're about to close the shelters!" my mother says frantically. I try to think where she might of gone.

"Buttercup!" I say and my mother looks worried. I run out of our shelter and I see Gale.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"Prim, she went back for her cat!" He follows me up the flights of stairs to get to the shelters, then we climb some more to get to our boarding cell on the top floor. We run into the hallway and see her, with the hideous cat in her arms.

"Prim! What are you doing? Come on, we have to go." I say. Gale takes the cat and we all run back to the entrance to the tunnels of shelters. Two guards are closing the heavy doors.

"Wait! Wait!" we're all yelling. Two guards stop just in time. We have to squeeze through between the doors. I breathe out in relief.

"Prim, you have to let someone know where you're going, especially when we're about to be bombed." I say to her.

"I know Katniss, I'm sorry. I thought it wouldn't take me long, but he was outside and…"

"It's okay, just glad you're here now." I should have looked for the stupid cat before I left. I should have known she would want to bring him. Gale hands her the cat and she hugs him dearly. "Okay Prim, let's go back to our shelter. Mother is probably worried." We start walking, then I stop and turn around to Gale.

"Thank you," I say. "for coming with me to find her."

"That's what we do. Protect each other." He says. "I'm in 234, if you need anything." I nod and he walks back to his family, where probably Hazelle is worried about him.

We protect each other. We made a pact that if something were to happen to one of us, the other would take care of that's person's family. It still counts, even though we're not talking about hunting for food. If our families are in trouble we'll do anything to protect them. With this pact, I still think we have something to hold us together, even though we've been opposing each other a lot, lately.

We are bound to our shelters, and everybody starts to get bored. The only entertainment is Buttercup and a flashlight; the Crazy Cat game. Prim shines the flashlight and Buttercup springs on the light, trying to catch it. The kids and the adults get enthusiastic with the whole show. The cat is finally good for something. Prim hands me the flashlight and she sits with the kids. I evilly shine on the high on the wall to see if the cat will jump for it. Buttercup springs up to the wall and reaches the spot, till I move it away. I'm so evil.

Sometime after noon, there is a loud noise from above. The cave shelters seem to shake and little rocks come from the ceiling. The lights flicker off then on. 20 minutes later there is another bomb, then about 10 minutes after, another one. My mother is sitting next to Prim, while she holds on to Buttercup. The lights go out for a few minutes, but we have flashlights. The bombing ceases, but we are to still stay in our shelters till an announcement. Much later, there is announcement that we would leave the shelters in the morning. I get under the blanket on the mattress on the floor. Prim squeezed next to me. My mother takes an empty bunk.

"Goodnight, Katniss, Prim." She whispers.

"Goodnight." We both whisper. I turn on my side, and see Buttercup's gleaming eyes look at me.

"Go to sleep, you cat." I whisper. Prim puts him beside her. I lay on my back and look at the ceiling. It reminds me so much of when Peeta and I were in the cave, our first hunger games. He told me the story of when he first saw me, and I told him the story of how we got Prim's goat. I miss him being next to me when I sleep. I have Prim here but she's hugging that cat of hers. Whenever he was around I felt safe. I can't imagine what they're doing to him. Will he ever get out of the Capitol?

Whao. what was that? I had just felt some kind of fluttering in my stomach. I put my hand where I felt it. There it is again! It feels so weird, but I know it's the baby. I remember my mother being pregnant with Prim. She said that she felt flutters, then more into her pregnancy she felt kicks. Being little, I thought it was weird.

I want to wake up Prim, but I should let her sleep. I rub my stomach. I wonder if he or she feels it. I think he or she does. I don't know the gender. Maybe I should have let Dr. Odessa tell me. No, maybe it's best that I don't know now. It could be a boy and look just like Peeta, or it could be a girl and look like me. I'll take our kid hunting and Peeta will teach him to paint But it's only a flight of imagination. I don't even know if the baby will come out healthy, and if Peeta will either. But there's hope and I think it's possible for the baby to grow up well.

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><p><em><strong>In the book it says "dead by morning", but that wouldn't make sense in this case.<strong> **Sunset has more meaning to Katniss, if you can recall. I bet you just want Peeta to come back already. I know, me too. It's coming soon. **_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**So I just turned 4 years old today. No, just kidding. My age is between 5 and 243 years old. Happy reading! oh and...virtual cheese buns for everyone!**_

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

We finally get to leave the shelters. I help my mother and Prim transport the sick back to the hospital. I still get grossed out from skin wounds, but it's something I want to overcome, and seeing them is the only way to get over it.

The top levels of District 13 are destroyed. The boarding cell that my family stayed in is gone, and the Hangar is in need of the rubble to be cleared. The dining hall is full of activity, and the upper levels of the industrial offices are being rebuilt. The floor where food is grown has only some malfunctions. I guessing with all the damages, they will have to be fixed and that means the rescue mission will have to wait longer. This is all very frustrating. This all Snow's fault! But I guess there's one silver lining in all of this; we were warned before the bombing. Peeta saved a lot of lives. There's no way Coin will take his immunity away, just like that. He's no traitor.

Even though I can't go on the mission, I get to go to the training center with Gale and Finnick. Gale is a little distant. He doesn't really look me in the eye, but he is no longer furious at me. I give him his space. I just concentrate on my training. My mother made sure to catch me before I went. I was told to only lift the lighter weights and not to tire myself out. Yada yada. I'm careful. I'll take care of myself.

At the range, Finnick was a little rusty at first, but now watching him throw his trident is impressing. He was really stoked when he heard he would get to use the trident Beetee made for him, and now he gets the target every time. Gale shoots a couple of arrows and I do the same, for the fun of it. Some trainees begin to practice with the bows and arrows as well. Copiers.

The soldiers going on the missions are trained with the guns. Gale looks perfectly comfortable shooting a gun. It's like he has been shooting a gun for years. When he aims, his face expression turns to concentration. Finnick shoots the targets most of the time. He's not that good. Probably better with his trident. He looks in my direction and pretends to shoot me with his finger. I form my hand into a gun and pretend to shoot him. Pew, pew, pew. A guy turns to see what I'm doing and I pretend to shoot him. He looks away mumbling something. Gale smirks. The other soldiers look at us strangely. This just makes me smile more.

After training Gale gets an alert form his communicuff for Finnick and him to go to Command. It even specifies for me not to come. Well, fine. Finnick shrugs as they walk away from me.

"See ya later, Katniss." he says behind him. They're probably planning the mission for tomorrow. Maybe there's some way I could sneak on board the hovercraft and get a disguise or… I'm kidding myself.

That evening, Cressida bumps into me in the hallway.

"Katniss, Fulvia is planning to film a prop with you this evening."

"This evening? I'm not prepped. Where is…"

"We're filming in the small studio here. Your stylist just need do a few touch ups. So at eighteen hundred hours you will go to the studio, and that's where they'll do the prepping." As soon as she gives her message she starts walking away.

"Okay." I say after her. I want to ask her what kind of prop they had in mind, but she's clearly in a rush for something. So I hang around in Special Weaponry with Beetee. I'm given permission to go in the Hummingbird Room. I like to call it the Meadow. I sit there and practice tying knots till I have to leave to the studio.

I go into the studio and find the film crew along with Fulvia and Plutarch. Finnick is here. I ask him to tell me what's going on, mouthing the words, but he doesn't say anything. I'm led to a curtained spot in the studio and put on my uniform. While Venia covers the dark circles under my eyes with makeup, Cressida explains what we're doing.

"We need something to air while the team goes on the rescue mission. It has to be something that catches the attention of everyone, including Snow. Something that they can't turn away from."

"Did you have something in mind?" I ask, because I don't have any ideas.

"We want to interview you about Peeta."

"Okay, is that it?"

"Finnick will also be interviewed." Finnick looks nervous. He looked pretty calm earlier. He wouldn't be nervous for a simple interview, would he?

I sit on a stool, and take deep breathes to calm my nervousness. I tap the bottom on the stool with my fingers. A red light on the camera turns on. Cressida begins asking questions.

"When did you first meet Peeta?" My mind goes back to the memory that is still as vivid as when it happened.

"I was eleven years old, and my family was starving. I was selling baby clothes, but nobody would buy them. I started walking home and then it started to rain. I stopped in front of the bakery trashcans and looked to see if I could find anything edible. His mother came out screaming at me to get away. Behind her, was Peeta. She went back in and then moments later I heard yelling in the bakery. Peeta came out with two burnt loaves of bread, and a bruise on his cheek. I remember his mother yelling and scolding him. He was yelled to feed it the pigs but he threw them in my direction. They were meant for me, so I put them under my shirt and ran home with them. My family didn't starve that night. He probably saved our lives. After that, I had been meaning to thank him, but I never did. The first time I talked to him was after the Reaping." After a short moment of silence she continues with more questions.

"Did you have any idea that he had feelings for you?"

"No, I had no idea. We never really spoke to each other. I was pretty surprised that night of the interview."

"Whose idea was it to take the berries out?"

"It was sort of my idea. It upset me that they anounced there could be two victors from the same district, and then took it away when it was only Peeta and I left. There was no way we were going to kill each other." Cressida stops after a few more questions.

"Okay Katniss, we're done." then Finnick walks onto the set.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asks Plutarch.

"Yes, I'm sure. It will definitely get's Snow's attention."

Finnick begins how after his Victory Tour, Snow forced him into selling his body to powerful and important people. He denied the demand first, but Snow got him to do it, by putting in danger the ones he loved. It was kind of what Snow did to me. I had no idea Snow did this to other tributes. I just figured it was just us because Peeta and I both came out alive.

He said his clients always felt bad about it. So in order to relinquish their guilt, his lovers would pay him with valuables, but instead Finnick asked for secrets. That's why he asked me if I had any secrets at the Chariot showing. Finnick had a huge collection of secrets about the Capitol officials. He spoke of people that I had met during the Victory Tour celebration in the Capitol, and some of who I did not know. He made sure to save Snow for last.

He told of how Snow would eliminate his enemies by poisoning them. Snow would drink the poison himself, to eliminate suspicion, but the antidotes only work so much. That's why he has terrible bleeding soars in his mouth. He uses the enhanced roses to cover up the smell of blood. All the secrets Finnick knows about Snow is said. The crew, Plutarch,and Fulvia are absolutley astonished. There's no way Snow can ignore this. The whole Capitol is probably reanalyzing their leader. Finnick still sits on the stool and the he says "cut".

The crew hurries out to edit the footage. Plutarch leads Finnick off for a chat, probably to see if he has any more stories or secrets worth sharing. Haymitch and I are left in the room.

"Did that happen to you?" I ask him sincerely.

"No. My mother, younger brother, and my girl were all dead two weeks after I was crowned victor. They were killed because of the stunt I pulled with the force field," he answers "Snow knew he didn't have anybody to use against me. I was left alive, to be an example for all the other victors, if they were to pull any stunts like I did. But he knew he had no leverage against me."

"Until Peeta and I came along," I say softly. I don't even get a shrug in return.

In the boarding cell, I lay on the bed alone. Prim and my mother are in the other bed. My mind is constantly running thoughts. Snow should just give up. There's no way he'll regain the districts. He's losing. He should just give up the tributes and face his loss, but no. He's not going to give up easily. He'll do anything and everything he can before he goes down. I hate him. Suddenly, I begin to feel fluttering again. It surprises me and I sit straight up. I guess my sister sees me shoot up like a vampire and asks what's wrong.

"Are you okay, Katniss? Did you forget something?" she asks tiredly. My mother opens her eyes and looks at me with concern. I smile and walk over to sit on their bed.

"I'm pretty sure I felt something." I say. Prim is confused at what I'm talking about. My mother smiles. I take Prim's hand and hold it to my stomach. She gets a look of excitement and waits for something to happen.

"I feel it. Do you feel anything?" I ask. She shakes her head, disappointed.

"It's probably just fluttering. You just feel it. When it kicks, then you can really feel it." my mother says.

"Oh," I say. I still got to a lot to learn about this stuff. "Well, good night." I say and I get back into my bed.

"Good night, baby," I whisper very softly. "Don't keep me up."

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><p><strong><em>You know what the next chapter is. Well... I hope you can infer what's going to happen. Feedback would be awesome.<em>**

**_-cheezebuns_**


	11. Chapter 11

_***Drum roll* So here it is. Still a little undecisive on this chapter, but it should still follow this story okay.**_

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><p>Chapter 11<p>

The next morning I find Haymitch. He looks a bit grouchy this morning, but when is it that he's in a super good mood? The withdrawal from his alcohol probably causes it, but it's been a really long time, so… I don't know.

"Haymitch, did they leave already?"

"How about a "good morning" first, Sweetheart?" he says.

"Yeah, um, good morning. Did they already leave for the Capitol?"

"They're boarding right now…" I'm about to walk off, till Haymitch grabs my shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I got to go." I say.

"Oh, no. You're staying here because the state you're in." It probably freaks him out a little to recognize it as a baby growing inside my abdomen.

"But I have to help save them. Gale is probably not going and…"

"He's going."

"He is? He's still going?"

"Why would he change his mind?" Haymitch asks then his face changes with his new comprehension of _I don't care, I'll stay out of that_. "Never mind, but he's going, and so is Finnick, Boggs and the assigned soldiers that volunteered to go, which does not include you." He says "you" with emphasis.

"I guess if Boggs is going that's a plus, but I hate to stay here, useless and waiting."

"Yeah well, here I am too. Just be thankful Boggs is leading it. It was all volunteers, but Boggs pretended not to notice me when I raised my hand. See? He's got good judgment." He says.

I sigh. "By the end of the day they'll be either with us or dead. I guess that's more that we could ever hope for." I say.

At 15:00, the designated hour, we stand tense in the room where Beetee and his team try to dominate the airwaves. My part does not show that much. But they tried very hard to get most of Finnick's airing in the Capitol. Most of it is seen. Beetee is getting better at this, or maybe the Capitol really intent on seeing Finnick tell secrets of President Snow. They actually keep the entire attack on Snow on.

"Done!" Beetee says, and it goes back to the original Capitol airing. "That should have given them enough time. They should be out by now, or they're dead." Boggs plan was supposed to be really good, though. It was hard for me to follow, so it will be hard for the enemy. Beetee leads me and Haymitch into another room and he explains the plan with maps and a screen.

"It's like your electricity trap in the arena?" I ask.

"Exactly. And see how well that worked out?" says Beetee.

Huh.

I stay in Command with Haymitch, hoping to hear news. Hours pass by, and still nothing. At dinner time, Haymitch goes, but I stay. I'm asked to wait somewhere else, because serious war business stuff is being carried out. So, I wait in the Hummingbird Room (or the Meadow), and try not to think about Gale or Peeta. The thought of them both not coming back is eating me up. I distract myself with tying knots and then trying to catch a humming bird with my hands. Yes, it's impossible, but it keeps me busy. Prim waits with me for awhile, and we talk about birds and different types of plants. It gets late and I tell Prim to go ahead and go to sleep in the boarding cell. She tells me she wants to stay, but she's falling asleep, so I urge her to go.

It's midnight, the next day, when Haymitch comes into the room and says "They're back," I'm frozen for a second, making sure I heard him right, then I run past him and go to the hospital ward. The hospital is in a frantic with doctors shouting orders and the wounded being transported to the rooms. I see Johanna Mason unconscious on a gurney. She's covered with bruises and cuts. Her hair looks like it was shaved off. Poor Johanna. She knew rebel secrets and she was hurt like this.

I see Gale through a doorway and see the doctor taking something out of his shoulder. I'm happy to see him here. I call his name, but a nurse pushes me into the hallway and shuts the door. I see Finnick and Annie in another room together. Even though Finnick is injured, he looks completely happy with Annie. Happiness can make pain seem like it's not even there. Haymitch catches up to me and Boggs walks toward us only slightly injured.

"We got them all out, except Enbaoria. But since she's from Two, we doubt she's being held anyway. Peeta's at the end of the hall. The effects of the gas are just wearing off. You should be there when he wakes."

Peeta.

He's alive, away from Snow, and with us. Haymitch smiles at me. "Come on, then" he says. He's here, finally. I walk in a quick pace. I'm so giddy that I can barely keep my balance. I'm so overjoyed, and I think the hormones level it even higher. I don't know what to say when I see him. Who cares what I say. I'm just so happy to have him back. When we reach his room he's already awake. Doctors are checking his pulse, looking at his pupils. I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't the first one he saw when he woke up, but I don't care anymore. I walk closer to him. My cheeks hurt from smiling. He looks like he is in disbelief. He gets up and walks toward me. I hold my arms up to hug him, but he pushes me away.

"Katniss, get out of here! It's for your own safety."

"Wha..?" I'm confused.

"Just get out of here! You have to stay away from me!" He says with urgency. He begins to tense up and grabs onto the bed rail. His pupils dilate and he shaking with adrenaline.

"Peeta!" I say helplessly. The doctors circle around him. He suddenly grasps out and reaches for me with clenching hands, but the doctors keep hold of him. Peeta's expression is something I don't recognize. One of the doctors asks me to leave. Well, he pushed me out, because I just stood there, in dismay and bewilderment. Whatever was causing this was because of me, according to Peeta. _I'm causing it. _I'm the cause for thousands of people getting hurt, aren't I?

Haymitch pulls my arm into the hallway. I'm so deeply confused. I want to yell, but I don't. Haymitch's expression is as confused as I am.

"What could they have done to him?" I say softly. Haymitch doesn't say anything. I know Snow is behind this, but what cruel, evil thing did he do to make Peeta like this? He's finally here, but whatever Snow did, is still disrupting his homecoming. I hate Snow… I hate him with a passion.

That evening I'm in the Hummingbird Room. I avoided seeing my mother or Prim. I just want to be alone. I'm tying a knot, then I mess up. It gets tangled around my finger and I try to shake it off. It doesn't come off! I grunt in frustration and give up. I put my head on my knees. I give out a short sob, and burry my face in my hands. Calm down, calm down. I try to steady my breathing, but my sobs choke me. Beetee rolls over in his wheelchair to where I sit in the fake meadow.

"Katniss, they got news for you at the hospital ward." He looks slightly optimistic, but I shouldn't hope too much, or I'll get let down, so I just hope whatever it is, it won't make me go insane. "He's alive, Katniss, and you should be happy about that." He says.

"I'm glad he's alive," I say. I get up from the ground. "Let's just hope it's worth living." I muffle as I walk away.

Beetee and I go to the hospital ward. Plutarch comes with Haymitch and we all go into a small waiting area. Before Plutarch speaks of the words I'm dreading to hear, Prim comes running.

"Prim, what are you doing here?" I ask.

"I want to be here with you. I heard what happened."

"I think you should really go." Says Plutarch.

"No. I want to stay with her." She says.

"Let her stay, she's in on everything already." I say.

Plutarch nods, because there's no use to keep fighting. "Well then. We believe that Peeta has been hijacked in way."

"Hijacked?"

"Beetee, please explain." Plutarchs says.

"It's a very secretive form of torture of the Capitol. I'm afraid we don't know a lot about it but it mostly consists of fear conditioning. They use tracker jacker venom, a small dose while they make him replay the memory in his mind, by verbal expression or a tape of that event. This alters the memory and is stored as long term memory."

When I got stung, it was pretty much the worst experience of my life. Now there are more bad experiences, but it was terrible. The venom targets the place in the brain that houses fear. That's what they did to Peeta. I put my face in my hands.

"Now we believe that they altered Peeta's thoughts and memories of you. Whenever he sees you, he goes into an unpredictable rage and will try to hurt you. It seems that they didn't dose him enough to have only rage when he comes into contact with you. He saw you, acted normal for a moment, and then began to go into the effects of the venom."

That, I did notice. He warned me to stay away from him, so he did have some kind of control. It wasn't much, at least there's still al little of him I know he's in there. He has to be. I put my knees up to my chin. Prim asks the question that's on my mind.

"Is there a way to reverse this?"

"There isn't a whole lot of information on that. Even if there was an attempt at hijacking rehabilitation, we have no access to those records."

"You're going to try aren't you?" She persists. "You're not going to lock him up in a padded room and leave him to suffer?"

"Of course we'll try. It's just we don't know if we'll succeed. We could succeed in some degree." Beetee says.

"We're putting together a team of mental health and military professionals to form a counterattack. I feel he'll make a full recovery." Plutarch states.

"Haymitch, what do you think?" asks Prim.

Haymitch looks tired and discouraged. "I think Peeta will probably get somewhat better, but I don't think he'll be the same."

Now I feel discouraged. He'll never be the same. We were never the same after the Games, after witnessing so many people die, losing our home. It just all leads up to losing our sanity.

"At least he's alive." Says Plutarch. "Snow executed his stylists on national television, and we don't know what became of Effie. Peeta might be damaged, but he is alive, with us. That's a definite improvement from twenty hours ago. Let's keep that in mind, alright?"

Backfire. Plutarch's attempt of cheering me up just made me feel worst. The stylists, and possibly Effie, are all dead.

Prim and I walk around aimlessly the next morning. I'm excused from my schedule for psychological reasons. I asked for Prim to be excused as well. We go to the hummingbird room and just lay there.

"I know you feel terrible of what happened to Peeta, but remember, Snow has had him for weeks. We just got him, and we already have a plan on helping him. There's a chance that Peeta will become his old self. Don't give up on him."

"I won't." I say. The situation is breaking me, but there's no way I can just forget about him. I still want him part of my life. We're having a baby. We've been through so much, and we can get through this. It might not be a perfect outcome, but we will.

She leaves after an hour, because of her hospital duties. About thirty minutes later, I'm called into Dr. Odessa's office. I walk there very slowly. I think I can get away with it, because I'm mentally disoriented. Still. I go into the room and take a seat.

"Katniss, how are you doing?" she says. She's a little more cheery than the last time I saw her, but she looks tired. I'd expect her to be grouchy, but she isn't. She tries to keep liveliness so her patients feel at home. She's an admirable doctor, but she must be putting a lot of hours in.

"I'm fine." I say emotionlessly.

"Are you sure? No cramping, pains, splotching…?"

"Uh…nope."

"We'll get right to the ultrasound." She says. As she makes preparations, to do it herself, I start to think if I should tell her about the fluttering.

"There is something, but it probably not bad," She stops and listens. "I've been feeling… fluttering." I say.

She gives a tiny smile. "Yes, that's perfectly normal. Is that all you've been feeling? What about mood swings?"

I think to myself; depression maybe, but I know that doesn't have anything to do with the pregnancy. She puts the goo, puts the device to my stomach. She tells me everything looks fine. She wipes off the goo, and before I leave, she hands me a picture.

"This is for you to take." She says. I take it and put it in my pants' pocket. I walk out of the room and sit on a bench in the hallway. I take out the picture and rotate it till I have it right side up. I'll probably show my mother and Prim the picture. Ha, I laugh at the thought of my mother being a grandmother, with a cane and all. I look at the picture. It looks like an alien, but it's my alien. I love my alien, but I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't really know how to be a mother. I hope I can learn something from my mother, but I think she's not the best mentor. There will probably be help, right? Oh, I don't know.

I trace the distinct outline of the baby on the picture. I probably won't ever show this to Peeta.

Peeta. If he wasn't damaged, he might have been, even a little, happy. He would have probably been a good father, and would marry me on the spot when I told him. He was the one who wanted children, the one who started the lie about me being pregnant to further make the Capitol look evil. Oddly it turned out be the truth.

Sadly getting married and raising our kid is probably not going to happen. He's been hijacked. The work put into reversing it, may not work and he'll have to stay away from me for the rest of my life. He'll never know I'm pregnant and he might never see his kid. Well, it's me he can't see, so maybe our baby won't cause him to go into a complete rage. It would probably be best if our kid stayed with him, but then again, who knows about his damaged predicament. He would never hurt his own kid. He'll raise our son or daughter. Imagining them, makes me smile. The baby will probably stay with me for a year, then he or she will be with Peeta. He'll be the best father in the world and they'll live happily, and nothing will hurt them. Where will I be? It doesn't matter, as long as they're happy.

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><p><strong><em>Sad, isn't it? (almost cried)I found the hijacking to be important, because it shows how she and Peeta carefully mend back their relationship. I hope you're relieved that Peeta didn't strangle her. Also, Peeta isn't fully hijacked. It's like a on and off thing. When will she break the news? Sadly, not any time soon. Thanks for reading.<em>**

**_-cheezebuns_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Been busy, but here it is. I don't know if you noticed: I have most of the chapters written out, but the day I update one, I revise it. I'd like to update daily, but I'm still writing later chapters too. I like doing it like that. **_

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

The next day is a blur… and the day after that. I've just been so down. I'm trying to stay positive and strong, but I'm tired. Very tired of the whole thing. I've been getting a regular schedule and go through it aimlessly. I do go hunting, but Gale is still recovering in the hospital, so I go alone. I shoot few animals and drop them off at the kitchen. Dr. Odessa has given me a book to read. To inform me more about pregnancy and taking care of a newborn. I haven't heard anything new about Peeta. He has improved a little. They said that they said my name in a conversation, and he stayed completely emotionless. No rage. I guess that's good.

It's time for me to go weaponry class, but I don't feel like going. I decide to visit Gale. I walk down the hallway and peek into the window of door. He's not asleep. I walk in and he smiles a little. This reminds of when he got shot in Two. He doesn't greet me with the usual happy "Catnip". He must know about Peeta.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. He looks at me and shakes his head. "You're not feeling well?"

"No, it's not that. You ask me, and I'll tell you, but when I ask you, you hide it from me. I would ask you now, because clearly you're not doing well, but would you talk to me?"

It's unexpected. I don't know what to say. Um… "I'm not well." I say. He sits up.

"Okay… we're getting somewhere." He gives a tiny smile, just so I know he's not mad at me. "Do you want to talk to me about it?" Talk to Gale about it? Huh, what do I say? I sit down in a chair.

"I'm tired… I'm tired of all this bad news, the killing, things haven't been going too well… I'm pregnant, but Peeta is not mentally all here. I don't know how I can further help with this war." I've been sitting in a chair next to Gale's bed. I'm about to tear up so put my head on the bed. Stupid hormones! Gale rubs my back. He probably wasn't prepared for this, or maybe this how he deals with this stuff. It's helping a little.

"Katniss, you're the strongest person I know, but it doesn't mean you have to be completely invincible. It's alright to be upset about it all. It's just you have to look for the way out in time. It's been hard, but you can get through this. Just take one day at time, and know what you want to do. Everything else should just fall in place. It may not fall exactly how you want it, but you just have to keep looking forward." He continues to rub my back and I raise my head. I swallow hard, and Gale hands me a bottle of water. I motion to ask if he's sure, then I gulp it down. It helps. Gale is right. I sit back in the chair.

"How's the baby?" He asks awkwardly. I give a small laugh through the tears. It probably bothers him a lot, but he's making an effort to make me feel better.

"Good." I say softly. "It started moving around the other day." Gale's expression is something surprised.

"It's moving?" He asks. I nod. "Huh, I didn't know it started that early." I laugh to myself because this probably painful for him, and to me, but it's so funny. I decide to give him a break and change the subject.

"So Finnick, he found Annie." I say. "The day you came back, in the hospital, they were both in different beds but they were holding hands."

"I have to admit, I didn't think he was that type of guy." Gale says.

"Me neither, but that was only the image for the Capitol. Now, I'm so happy for them." I say. I might not get to be happy but at least my friends can be. "So, when are you getting out of here?" I ask.

"Tomorrow, maybe."

"Good, I need a hunting partner."

I stick around in the hospital hallway. I sit on a bench and watch people walk by. Gale will always be my friend, I think to myself. A doctor is walking toward me. I recognize him from when he pushed me out of Peeta's room.

"Ms. Everdeen, we'd like to try something. Peeta appears to be doing better, and we'd like to experiment what happens when he comes into contact with you. Some of other doctors will be observing, and Haymitch Abernathy is already there."

I get up slowly and walk to the room. I'm afraid at what I'm going find in there. Haymitch comes from the room next door. There is a one-way window into Peeta's room, where they will be observing.

I'm given an ear piece. "Take this," Haymitch says, handing me a large jacket. What does he want me to do with this? "He can't know yet. That you're…" He says.

I understand. Peeta's mental state right, isn't the best time to announce it to him. So I put on the jacket, and notice is smells musky and slightly like liquor. It's strange because he hasn't been drinking since we got to Thirteen. I'm sure Peeta won't notice.

So I enter the room cautiously and I see him. He looks emotionless. It looks like his mind is somewhere else, and I see that there are restraints on his arms. I don't like seeing him like this. A doctor voice tells me to sit in the chair next to Peeta's bed. So I do, but Peeta's gaze hasn't left the door. The doctor tells me to talk to him.

"Hey, Peeta." I say causiously. He notices I'm here. He looks suprised, but it wears away. He's not tensing up… yet.

"Katniss," he says, his voice dry. It seems like he's about to speak more, but it's like he can't get the words out. I sit there patiently and wait for him to say something. He looks sad.

"I… I'm sorry." He says.

"No, it wasn't your fault. The Capitol… they hurt you…" I talk softly, because it's the only way I can think of to keep him talking with me. There's more silence and he doesn't speak. Haymitch asks me to ask him stuff. Like what? I don't know what to say…

"Remember, when we were on roof? We had a picnic and everything." I say. His eyes are distant, and after another period of silence, he speaks.

"I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"My memory… it's all blurred." He says. I feel absolute dread. He doesn't remember. I decide to come up with an earlier memory.

"Do you remember when we you gave me the bread?" He gets an expression of concentration. I desperately hope he remembers. He thinks hard, then finally shakes his head.

"Maybe if I describe it to you?" I say hopefully. He looks discouraged but I go ahead and tell him the story. "It was raining and I was walking close to the bakery and decided to look through the trash." He listens to every word carefully. "You're mother came out yelling, and shooed me away. Then later you came out with burnt loaves of bread. Your mother was yelling at you to give it to the pigs. You put some in the pen, then you threw them in my direction. You saved my family, you saved me."

Peeta concentrates, and I'm gripping one of my wrists tightly. His face saddens and he shakes his head. I wipe my eyes before he sees me. Then I get a bad thought.

"… but you truly remember who I am, right?" I ask.

Peeta looks at me for a second. I don't know if he can't believe what I'm saying or…

"I… I have a sense of recognition from you, but… it's kind of jumbled up." He says in a low tone. "The venom they gave me, it made me want to hurt you, but now… It's like I'm slowly forgetting. The venom's feeling is still a little there. The memory of you before it's also there somewhere but… it's sort of fading."

"It can't be… how?" I say, sounding differently than myself. I look to the window where the doctor is suppose to be, and hope for an answer, but I don't get any. I want to hold him, and make him remember, but that probably won't do anything, no matter how much I want it to. I can't let my feelings get in the way of his recovery,_ if_ he's recovering.

The doctor asks me to exit. I don't want to leave, but he repeatedly tells me, so I finally get up. I look down, and silently leave the room. Whatever they did or whatever happened to Peeta, it made it worse. He's forgetting me.

I go into the other room with the doctor and Haymitch. I'm broken hearted. I feel terrible.

"What happened to him?" I ask the doctor.

"It may be the treatment. The fear is slowly deceasing, but to do that we had to slowly make him forget those memories that were disrupted with the venom."

"It's making him lose all of his memories!" I say.

"Doctor, the treatment you're using is this bound to happen?" asks Haymitch.

"I have to inform you, that the doctors here are not familiar with Hijacking. The treatment we used was the only solution we thought would be effective."

"He's a zombie! He's almost emotionless. The treatment he's on, it's hurting him." I say. That's not Peeta.

"I will remind you that, the treatment is not all a waste. The disrupted memories were clearly not taking over. He came into contact with you. He didn't attack you. He didn't want to hurt you." The doctor says defensively.

"There has to be another way…" I say pleadingly. I sound so much like a child. Hey, maybe I still am, even though I'm the symbol of a rebellion, having a baby, fighting in a war.

The doctor thinks, putting his thumb to his chin. "I'll talk with the doctors and we'll come up with something. Until then…" He thinks some more as what to do.

"Take him off the treatment. I won't go see him. Anything to make him better. If he just goes into a rage when he sees me, then I'll stay away." I say solemnly.

The doctor thinks for a second then agrees to it. He says it might get him back to his old state, but they'll find a new treatment. Haymitch and I walk out of the room. I take off the jacket and throw it at him. He catches it easily.

"There's still a chance." He says. I feel some kind of hate when he says it. A chance. That's what everybody says! There's still a chance. A tiny, unlikely chance that he will get back to normal. It's all so tiring, and depressing. All I can do is expect the worst outcome, and hope it's a little better than that. I want storm out of there, go into the boarding cell and lock myself away, but no. I'm not the only one who is sad by this. Haymitch is too. He cares about Peeta almost as much as I do. He was just trying to cheer me up, and probably himself.

I can no longer see Peeta. It's not like I did before, but still. He's away from Snow, but Snow is continually using Peeta against me. These stupid rules will not let me go to the Capitol. They will not let me kill him. I hate him. That evil snaked-eyed bastard. I admit that sometimes I imagine killing him. I'll take a knife a stab into his heart, _repeatedly_. These are things a girl should not be day dreaming about, but most girls aren't the arch nemesis of evil president doing everything possible to break them, and make sure they can't go on. As much as his plan is working, I can't let myself me totally overcome by it. I have a purpose, and as much as it _kills_ me, I'm the Mockingjay, and I'm going to help get the rebels victory.

I go to President Coin's office. She's going to help me. Staying here in Thirteen, and doing nothing is not helping anyone. Yeah, I may be pregnant, but it's not going to stop me. I walk into the hallway that leads to her office. A woman sitting at a desk, her secretary, asks what I'm doing here.

"I need to talk to Coin." I say.

"You, wait here a few minutes and I'll get you an appointment." She says predictably.

"It's important." I say.

"No."

"I have to talk to her." I say more demanding.

She looks unaffected and gives me a scowl. Her big eyes behind her odd glasses make her attempt at making me back down, a fail.

"Sit down, girl." She says in her high voice. She's probably transferred from the Capitol. I cross my arms and don't move. "You're going to have to wait, girl." She says. Calling me "girl" is starting to get on my nerves. "If you continue to act rude, you won't get your appointment, and I'll have to call some guards up here!" Her voice is so annoying when she yells. It's like almost like screaming after breathing in helium.

I guess all the ruckus was getting loud, because Coin comes out of her office to see what the cause of it is. The woman sits back into her chair. "Sorry to disturb you, President Coin, but this girl was being completely rude and disruptive. She would not make an appointment." She says it like it's the worst thing you could do.

Coin's expression becomes serious. "No need, I'd like to talk to her. We have some things to discuss, don't we?" She says ominously.

The secretary looks almost disappointed. I guess she expected for me to make an appointment or get yelled at or something.

I walk into the office, and Coin takes her place at her desk. She arranges some paper to the side of her desk. "So Katniss, how do think you can keep your part in the agreement?"

"I'm not sure. I still want to, though. It's just… I'm being restricted to do almost nothing." I say.

"Yes, it's a shame that the officials now know of your condition." She says. Condition. I used the word too, but it seems like when she says it, it demeans the fact that I'm pregnant. It's like calling it a medical condition, a disease or illness. It makes it look like a burden. Is it?

"I heard that it was Dr. Odessa, who let the news out. She was responsible for informing everyone. I'm sure I'll have to see her." She says.

"What? Why? She only did it for my safety." I say. Coin looks unchanged.

"Of course, she did it for the safety of the child, but it seems to me that she is also disrupting our agreement. We had plan on you going to the Capitol, but now we can't."

To kill Snow. I had been waiting for that opportunity. To see that he gets what he deserves. To see that he'll never hurt another person ever again, especially with the Hunger Games. I want to go, but I… can't.

"I understand that it was one of your requests to kill him yourself, wasn't it? Oh, how unexpected things come about. We come up with a plan in our heads, but then some events will disrupt our plans, and ruin it. It is a shame. It would have been a glorified ending; The Mockingjay to relinquish Snow from our dystopian country, but sadly it cannot happen."

I know what she's trying to do. I can take a hint. She wants me to go on that mission. She knows I want to kill Snow. The only thing stopping me is my baby's safety. Is risking his or her safety worth killing Snow? It's a risk, so it's possible that the baby could come out fine, but it's also possible that my baby could die, or I could die. Someone else could kill Snow, but for some reason… it's something I won't be completely satisfied with unless I did it myself.

Coin has been studying me. She can probably tell I'm torn between the choices. She's probably laughing evilly in her head. I kind of hate her for the thought. Does she care at all for my baby? I don't know.

"I... I can't." I say uncertain. She walks around her desk till she stands only a few feet away from me.

"It is your choice." She says. "Our rebel team will surely find him, but nobody would be more fitted to finish Snow off, than you." How is she making want this more? She's getting in my head.

"I… don't know." I say.

"How about I let you think about it? We will not be leaving to Capitol soon. Think about it." She says. She's up to something. I don't know what it is about. I don't know how she can possibly use me if I go to the Capitol. How can she? I turn to the door.

"I've heard there's a wedding taking place soon." She says.

I turn to her."A wedding? Who's getting married?" I ask. It's not me is it? Peeta is not even better. Is it another show for the cameras? I'm starting to get nervous.

"It appears that Finnick Odair and an Annie Cresta are getting married." Oh, good. It's not me. It's Finnick. He's going to marry Annie, who he's completely in love with. I feel happy for them. "Katniss, you may go. Remember to get back to me with a decision." She says.

"Alright." I leave her office.

Going to the Capitol. Is that really what I want to do? Yes, it is. The Mockingjay should be there. Peeta will be fine without me. Stopping Snow has been my plan even before the Mockingjay stuff. I'm not going to pass this up.

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><p><em><strong>What is she thinking? Thanks for reading, and reviews would be awesome.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Updated!_**

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

I don't want to think about Snow, so I decide to find Finnick. I could congratulate him. At least something good is going on.

Finnick is still in the hospital. I go to his room and see that he's awake, but Annie, in the other bed is asleep. I knock softly and walk in. Finnick smiles. I can tell he's truly happy now.

"I just heard you're getting married." I whisper.

"You don't have to whisper. She sleeps like a rock." He says "Yes, I'm getting married." He says happily.

"I'm glad you're happy, that you got her back." I say. He looks over to Annie sleeping. She's slightly snoring.

"Yup, even her snoring is beautiful." He says. I laugh and then try to quiet down so I don't wake her. Finnick laughs at my failed attempt.

"Where are they having the wedding?" I ask.

"Uh… I don't know. Plutarch and some others are arranging everything. I hope he doesn't go overboard with it. Even if things are pretty plain here, Plutarch is from the Capitol. They do everything _big_."

Yes, the Capitol is all about doing everything _big_. Peeta and I found it overwhelming. Huge parties, crazy costumes, and tons of food that goes to waste. It didn't bother me to eat it, but when I found out people eat, throw it up, and go eat more, I almost despised them. There were starving children and they ate for fun.

"I'm sure the wedding won't be too over the top. District Thirteen is pretty restricted with things." I say. "Is there any some special traditions that you do back in Four?"

"Yes, there's the net, and the song… I should tell Plutarch about it." he says.

"I'll tell him. You're stuck in bed. I'll make sure we have a net." I say jokingly.

"Thanks, Katniss." Finnick says with the warmest smile I haven't seen from him in awhile.

"Oh," I say. "How's Johanna?" I ask. She's been in the hospital all this time, and I haven't seen her since the time they came back from the rescue mission. I'm nervous to just go into her room. What would I say? "Hey Johanna how are you doing?" Uh, no. She did attack me, but it was to save me from the tributes in the arena. She saved me, and I can't go talk to her?

"Hmm, last I heard she's still in the hospital. She got a little dependent on the morphling, and a doctor has therapy sessions with her. I haven't seen her, well, because I can't go anywhere right now. You could ask for her room number, if you want to go see her." He says.

"Uh yeah, I could go." I say nervously. "I'll see you later then." I go into the hallway. Am I really going to see Johanna? Uhhh.

I walk slowly to the waiting area. Then I go up to the front desk. I ask for Johanna room number, and walk the hallway about 3 times. I finally find it. Maybe I was just stalling. I'm kind of nervous. We're not exactly best buddies, but I have to show I'm grateful or something. I look into the little window in the door. I hope she's asleep. No, she's not asleep. I tap the door a few times and walk in.

"Hey," I say. She looks at me. It's almost like she's glaring at me, but then again, it's usually how she looks at me.

"Visiting time is it? Do you go to all the patients to heighten their spirits?" She says mockingly.

I give a short sigh. "No, I wanted to see how you were doing." I say.

"Well, you're seeing. I'm not that well." She says. She mutters, "Those bastards."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm also sorry, for being rude to you, when all you were trying to do was help me, when I had no idea why. And also for being in the Capitol. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Save your apologies." She says. "What happened, happened. I'm still alive, even though sometimes it would be better if I weren't."

"I know how you feel." I say.

"Bet you do, Mockingjay. Can't leave yet, can you? Still got this whole heroism production going on. Everybody is watching what you'll do next. Glad I'm not you." She says smirking to herself.

I can't help but feel a little mad, but I don't show it. Johanna has been through the Capitol's torture. She's done so much. I don't deserve to get mad at her ever. I can see her used to be shaved, head is now covered with short brown tufts of hair.

"I'm sorry you're you." She says a little more sympathetically… I think.

"Umm, thanks, I guess."

"You know, at first it made me sick, the whole act. Your tacky romance drama, and defender-of-the-helpless. But, the unbearable part, was that it wasn't an act. Feel free to take it personally."

"I would say you should have been the Mockingjay, but I don't want to wish absolute ignominy on you."

"Well thanks for caring." She says. "I'm pretty much almost there. This withdrawal has a lot do with it. You know, those morphine addicted tributes from Six got it made, they looked pretty happy. Happier than most of us." She looks at her used-to-be morphling drip. She lies back on her pillow and crosses her arms. She looks in the direction of a small television screen fuzzing with images of a new report.

"You know, this doctor, comes for sessions. He's supposed to help me with the whole problem and stuff. He's a complete idiot. Every 5 minutes he reminds me I'm safe. Ha, safe."

I laugh a little. I know what she means. Nobody's safe. Especially now. I can die any day now. Heck, this ceiling can come down and… It doesn't matter really. What matters is that I do what I can do, before I die. Days can't go wasted, which I feel is happening when I'm not in the Capitol with the rebels.

Johanna and I don't speak for a minute then she looks at me strangely.  
>"Have you gained weight?"<p>

"Well, we've been in the Hunger Games, then we got here, so…"

"Uh no, you look bigger." She remarks.

"Well I hope you gained something, since you've been here."

"Yeah, sure. I'm enjoying the slop. I hope I don't get fat like you." She says jokingly.

I try to get out a laugh, that's not too forced. It kind of sounded forced, but she can't possibly know what's going on in my head right now. Am I showing a lot now? What happens when I can't hide it anymore? On my agenda; hide bump.

I leave Johanna's room. That wasn't too bad. Johanna has seemed to have softened from the first time I met her. So now I have to figure out how to further conceal my baby bump. It's not that noticeable. I heard that it varies with different women when they're pregnant. So I guess I have about a month or so till it's totally undeniable that I'm prego. So back to my agenda.

_Open the door. Open the door_. I'm knocking on Dr. Odessa door. I'm starting to get a little impatient.

"Katniss, I've could have been with a patient."

"I'm sorry. It didn't look like you were busy. Are you with a patient?" I say kind of fast.

"No."

"Doctor, I'm not sure how I can hide this." I speak in a hushed tone, putting my hand to my stomach. She motions for me to come in. She goes to a filing cabinet and opens the bottom drawer. She goes to the very back and pulls out a gray jacket. It looks very much like what the people in District Thirteen wear, but it has two lines of zippers and a hood. It's thicker and larger than my gray shirt. Dr. Odessa helps me put it on. It makes my bump disappear.

"Was this yours?" I ask.

"Yes, it was. When I was younger, around your age, I was in the army. Young adults were given these jackets."

"You were in the army?" I ask interested.

"Yes, but I dropped out, and finished my doctor training."

"Oh, I see. Do they still wear these jackets?" I ask.

"I see a few people wear them, but it covers you well." She smiles at me. I can't help but wonder what her story is. Who is Dr. Odessa? What was she like when she was a girl?

She walks me to the door. "I hope you've been taking your vitamins." She says.

I nod. "Very good. See you soon. Probably in a few weeks or so, for your next appointment." She smiles as she leads me out.

"Thank you." I say. She nods and closes the door. I'm beginning to feel guilty. I have been taking my vitamins and all, but if Dr. Odessa found out I want to go to the Capitol, she would be angry with me. She probably would think of me as irresponsible, but am I really irresponsible when I have a huge part in this war? I spent enough time thinking. I need to do something. Like Gale said. I've got to take care of things one thing at a time, and right now, I just want to find Plutarch.

So I find Plutarch in a large empty room. He's with Fulvia and they're talking about the wedding. They're looking intently at a plain wall.

"What are you guys looking at?" I say suddenly.

"Oh goodness, Katniss. Why did you have to sneak up on us?" says Fulvia. Actually, Plutarch remains in position, looking at the wall.

"We're trying to decide where to put the choir." Says Plutarch. "We need an area for the children."

"Choir?"

"Why yes, it seems as though there is traditional wedding song, and many of the children have volunteered to sing." Says Fulvia delighted.

"Oh, how nice." I say.

"Oh yes, it will be absolutely lovely after the small fireworks." She says. Fireworks? That's definetly a red flag.

"Um Fulvia, Finnick has asked me to tell you guys that he wants the wedding to simple and traditional." I say.

"Simple?" says Plutarch. "Oh, where is the fun in that? I have asked Coin in serving alcohol, but she denied that. She also said no table cloths, but you can't have a wedding without table clothes!"

This is a little ridiculous. "Finnick wants it be traditional. He wants to have a real District Four wedding, with nets and all. I mean, it's his image. That's how he pictures his wedding day." I say.

"Yes, it seems many are not for a grand wedding. It's alright, we'll do the very best with what we have and make it _traditional_. We want the happiest day of a person's life to be perfect." Says Fulvia almost disappointedly.

"Finnick would appreciate it."

"Yes well, we still must find something for Annie to wear. District Thirteen does not have wedding dresses." Says Plutarch.

"What about the dresses in Twelve? I have lots of dresses from the Victory Tour. Annie will probably find something."

"Excellent idea!" says Fulvia. "We will plan for you and Annie to go to Twelve. The wedding is going to be absolutely wonderful. This war has gotten everybody down, but this wedding will be perfect to lighten everybody's mood."

Not really everybody. I can name a person. He will not be able to go to the wedding.

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><p><em><strong>I love Johanna. She's hillarious in a unfunny way, if that makes sense. Thanks for reading.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**This chapter is a little shorter. Not all chapters are going to have at least 2000 words, and I don't want to rush the exciting stuff. Short chapters can be good.**_

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><p>Chapter 14<p>

It's the next day and I have to admit that I was a little nervous at first for the trip to District Twelve with Annie. I didn't know much about her. All I knew is that Finnick was in love with her, and that she is supposed to be mad. If he's in love with her, then I'm going to try to be a friend to her. She seems nice. I conversed with her a little. She sometimes would just look into the distance, and it looks as if she's staring intently at something. I would look in her eyes' direction, but not see anything. She also covers her ears with her hands. I guess to block out bad sounds.

We go into my house in Victors Village. In my room, I take out all the dresses and show each one, one at a time, to Annie. She shakes her head at the ones she doesn't like. I hold out a dark blue one with a sweet-heart neckline and short sleeves that drop a little from the shoulders. She nods her head and excitedly tries it on. When she comes to show us, she looks beautiful. Fulvia is telling her how lovely she looks, and Annie smiles with delight. She looks at herself in a long mirror.

"It sort of reminds me of home." She says.

When we get back to Thirteen, I try to find Gale. He's not in the hospital anymore and I feel like going outside. So, I want to ask him to come hunting with me. I'm walking through the hospital, and I catch a short glimpse in the window to Peeta's room. He's asleep. I hope he doesn't have any nightmares. I wish he could sleep forever with nothing but good dreams. Heck, I wish that for everybody, but it's completely unrealistic. Oh well.

"Sweet dreams." I say softly.

I eventually I find Gale in the armory with Beetee. Gale leans on a chair. They're busily looking at parts on a counter.

"What are you guys up to?" I ask.

"Hello, Katniss. We're just putting some designs together. They're based on Gale's traps, except for people." He says.

I'm a little worried at what kind of traps they're making. Beetee further explains.

"We've designed a trap where bait, like something needed is put in a trap. The trap activates and will catch the prey. The bait could be something like medical supplies or the wounded."

"We also have a trap, which was my design, that holds the children to lure in the parents. A bomb will go off, then the parents will go to help the wounded, but only to be trapped and another bomb with detonate." Gale says.

I try to act comfortable with it in front of Beetee. This seems so wrong. The Capitol is the enemy and it needs to be stopped, but are these traps are making it seem like we're the ones. No, I assure myself; The Capitol has done much, much worse. They deserve it.

Gale looks at me suspiciously. He knows what's up. I look for a way to change the subject.

"So Gale, you miss hunting?" I say lightly.

"Well, yeah, but I'm pretty into this. I'm really working to get these designs a reality, and over to the Capitol." He says.

_Like hunting people, do you?_ No, he's just helping the cause. I'm still worried how far Gale will go.

"We'll at least you're busy doing something. I'm not needed that much anymore. I just go through a regular schedule, visit in the hospital, and sleep. Oh, and tie knots. Can't forget that."

"I'm sorry I can go hunting with you. I've just been busy here." Gale says.

"No, don't worry about it."

"I've got actual "Training" after this. You could come." He says.

"Sounds good." I say.

I watch Beetee and Gale work. It's not that entertaining, but it's something to gain a little knowledge from. I try to ignore the thought, though; I wonder how many people that one will kill? I help a little, so I'm doing something. Beetee explains more traps to me and I try to follow every word, but it's just a little too much. Gale announces it's time to leave. We say good-bye to Beetee, who will continue to work. We go to the Training Center.

Since I'm pregnant, Gale reminds me to stay away from doing heavy lifting and any extraneous exercises. I feel left out. Gale is with other young adults lifting weights and shooting guns, when I'm on the other side of the room, jumping rope and lifting five pounders. When the trainer calls for the soldiers for jogging, I get up instantly and follow them. Gale looks at me.

"I can run." I say.

"Yes, okay, but don't push yourself too hard." He says in a low voice. He doesn't want to get the whole attention of the training soldiers.

I begin to jog behind everyone. I'm not supposed to push myself, but I don't want to be last. I'm just going to go a little faster. I pass most of the trainees and get beside Gale, almost in the front.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" he says between breaths.

"Oh, I'm fine." I say a little fed up with being babied. I start to run faster. I can feel the endorphins. It feels great. Soon enough I'm in front. I don't mean to brag, but I was one of the fastest girls in my school. I had a lot of endurance too, which was good when I went hunting. I was never on any teams, but if I were, I'd probably be pretty good.

I've gained some distance from the other trainees. Then I notice a guy, about eighteen, run next to me. He's brown eyes are determined. Challenge eh? Gale is behind me, and I can tell he's about to say something, but I start running faster before I hear what he says. Brown Eyes start running faster as well. He passes me by a foot and I can see him smile. Not for long. I speed up, and continue to move my arms, so that I go faster. I'm winning! I'm a few feet in front of him. I'm basking in my idiotic glory, when I feel a pain in my side. Oh shit. I have to slow down. I see the trainer looking intently at me, from across the Training Center. Oh jeeze. I slow down, and Brown Eyes passes me. Whatever, I let him go in front of me. I'm running at a steady pace while Gale comes next to me.

"You alright?" he asks concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. I just ran little too hard, I guess." I say calmly between breaths. I'm admitting this is getting a little exhausting. Gale is watching me earnestly, like I'm about to drop at any moment. I go through the rest of the laps in a slower jog.

I sit with Gale on a bench and he hands me a water bottle. Brown Eyes walks past us. I swear he's raising his nose at me. The other trainees are all beginning to head for the locker rooms. The trainer is on the other side of the room, studying everybody's times on the laps. Gale puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Why do you insist on straining yourself so much? You're probably doing exactly what the doctor told you not to do." He says.

"I just don't want to appear… weak." I say.

Gale laughs a little. "Katniss, you're pregnant. Pregnant girls aren't supposed to be jumping over walls and outrunning people like _that_ guy." He says, looking over to Brown Eyes. Brown Eyes appears to be very fit and athletic. I can tell he's quite full of himself.

"Katniss, just take it easy." He says.

I sigh. "Thanks for the medical advice." I say sarcastically. "I know I'm supposed to be sitting somewhere and resting, but that's not what I want to do. I just don't want it to stop me."

"Stop you?" Gale asks questionably.

"Uh, like… keeping me from jogging with everybody." I say a little too quickly, but Gale doesn't notice it. He rubs my back with one of his hands.

"I know what you mean, but still, take precautions." He says. I nod. Gale goes to the men's room to shower. I stay sitting on the bench. I drown the rest of the water.

I start thinking about if I should go to the Capitol. Coin has probably got it all figured out how to get me on a hovercraft. Gale is probably likely to go, and maybe Finnick. They can't know I'm going so I'll probably be in a different hovercraft. That means it will be me and probably just a bunch of strangers, or maybe people like Brown Eyes. I'd like to have Gale by my side, but he can't know I'm going. I'm still very indecisive.

My thoughts are running in my head. I probably won't be able to fall asleep tonight. I decide to take a shower in the boarding cell, because I don't want see them and I don't want them to see me. And because of my bump.

I get to the boarding cell before my mother and Prim. I take a shower and get into pajamas. While I put them on, I lift my shirt to see my stomach. It's grown some. It's very noticeable in my pajamas. I take Odessa's jacket and fold into a drawer. I dry my hair as best as I can and get into bed. Tomorrow is Finnick and Annie's wedding. I expected to be up for awhile, but as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I was out.

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><p><em><strong>You are cordially invited to a wedding. In the next chapter. Mucho thanks for reading.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**This is another of my favorite chapters. Took an extra day to make sure it went with the book, so it could be perfect. Johanna is in it!**_

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><p>My mother does my hair in a loose braided up-do. It's the same one from the Reaping two years ago. I remember Cinna's compliments on how beautiful and classic it was. I, myself, don't really see myself as pretty, but he did make me feel beautiful.<p>

"Oh Katniss, you look lovely," says Prim. I get up from the bed where my mother sits and did my hair. I look into the small mirror in the bathroom. It's really nice. The beauty of it almost blocks the memories.

"Thank you, Mother." I say.

"You do look lovely." She says, and then calls Prim over. She braids Prim's bangs and the braid is brought around her head. She looks so pretty. I have to say, that I'm sure Prim inherited all of that from my mother. My mother was supposed to be really beautiful when she was young. She still is, but she looks more matured. Prim walks into the bathroom to look in the mirror. She lightly flutters her fingers over the braid.

"Now, don't mess it up." My mother says. Prim giggles with delight. She's totally excited about the wedding. I am too, but Prim is the one almost jumping up and down.

We all head of the room. We're still wearing gray clothes, but they're the plain gray dresses that some women wear. My sister walks up beside me.

"Do you know where it is, Katniss?" she asks.

"Yeah, I was there before." I say, but I really don't quite remember where it is. When I was looking for Plutarch, I just kind of peeked into random rooms from the main hallway. After just a few minutes of searching, we do find it. The used-to-be empty room is fully decorated. My sister and I stand in place and look around the room. For things being so restricted here, Plutarch and Fulvia did a really nice job.

My mother pushes us along. We walk down an aisle and find some seats. I take the whole room in a glance. The decorations are made from autumn foliage. The music is provided by a choir of children and a single fiddler who made it out of 12 with his instrument. The most stunning are Annie and Finnick. Annie wears the dress we brought from 12, and Finnick wears a suit of Peeta's, but slightly altered.

The wedding begins. Dalton, the cattle guy from 10, conducts the ceremony, since it's similar to the one used in his district. There are going to be unique touches of District 4. A net woven from long grass that covers the couple during their vows, the touching of each other's lips with salt water, and the ancient wedding song, which describes marriage like a sea voyage.

Dalton begins speaking and then it's time for their vows. I see my mother and Prim tear up. I'm almost tearing too. Finnick and Annie are covered in the net and pronounce their vows. After it's sealed off with a kiss, everyone stands and applauses. The cheering ends and there's a toast with apple cider, which I can drink.

The reception part was great. The fiddler plays up a tune that turns every head from District 12. Guests are already starting to dance. Prim grabs my wrist and she leads me to the floor.

Back in Twelve, dancing was our thing. I mean, we didn't do it all of the time, but I think it's okay to say we were pretty good at it. It came naturally. Prim is smiling, twirling around while I hold her hand above our heads. I look to see Greasy Sae pull Gale by the hand to the center of the floor and she begins to face him off. Even more people, like from 13, begin to join in.

My mother comes up to join Prim and me. She's a little unsure at first, but my sister holds her hand and leads her into a natural movement. She sways her arms with Prim. It was nice to see her enjoying herself. I haven't seen her dance since before my father died.

I have to stop dancing, because I tire so quickly, now. I watch the dancers join hands and they begin to do some fancy foot work. I may not be able to dance, but I clap my hands along to the music. Haymitch sits in a chair beside me. He holds up a cup of apple cider and gives a fake disappointed look. I just roll my eyes at him and look toward the dancing again to hide my laugh.

After the finish of a song, they bring out the wedding cake. The crowd of people move out of the way and make a path. A man rolls out a multiple layer cake on a cart. The cake itself is beautiful. Each layer has blue waves that circle around it. Little boats, fish, starfish, and sea flowers are scatter all over the cake. Finnick and Annie are absolutely surprised how wonderful the cake looks. They almost don't want to cut it. Of course the cake is beautiful. Anything Peeta makes is beautiful.

I look to Haymitch for confirmation. Peeta was given the job to decorate Finnick and Annie's wedding cake. It was sort of like therapy. Haymitch tells me that he has been working on it for days. He seemed really normal when he worked on it. Haymitch was allowed to see him the day after they started him on some kind of new treatment. When he first talked to Peeta, he said Peeta was pretty angry at him, but you know, for not telling him about the rebel plot and stuff. Haymitch tells me he's forgotten some things, but he isn't emotionless and zombie-like anymore. Well that's good, I think.

Finnick cuts a thin slice from the cake. He feeds a bite to Annie. Annie then shoves a piece in his face, and Finnick is laughing through the frosting. He smooshes some in her face too, and Annie just laughs. It's absolutely wonderful to see these two people together have a day that was thought a virtual impossibility.

I share some cake with Prim. It's really good. I could eat two slices by myself, but being pregnant, I get really tired and just wanted to sleep. I tell my mother and Prim, and they understand. My mother offers to come with me, but I tell her I'm fine and that she should enjoy the last moments of the wedding.

So I was going to the boarding cell, but then I find myself walking to the hospital ward. I continue walking till I past Johanna's room. I wish she could have gone. I should have brought her some cake. Oh well, she's probably asleep.

I walk to Peeta's room. I get this urge to want to open the door and see him. I put my hand on the door knob. I'm about to turn it, then I think _what am I doing?_ I step away from the door. The doctor told me not see him alone and I don't have the courage to go in there. I leave, feeling regret, and go to the boarding cell. I'll see him one of these days. Not today, because I'm tired. _Yeah, that's why._

Who knew that the next day I would?

I have breakfast with Prim and my mother. I go to some pointless class, and then I go to training with Gale. It's almost the same as last time, but Gale makes me run beside him. He just doesn't want me to beat him. After training I go to another class. Right before dinner I go to Dr. Odessa's office. I'm supposed to have another ultrasound. I can tell I'm getting a little bigger. I'm still hiding it though. Most of the people I know already know I'm _with child_. They're keeping it a secret still, I guess. I'm 4 months and the jacket Dr. Odessa gave me is sort of hiding it. My secret is still somewhat safe. And Peeta still doesn't know.

"Good evening, how are you guys feeling today?" Dr. Odessa asks. I'm inferring we she says "you guys" that she means me and the baby.

"I'm okay." I say.

"Good to hear." She says. I sit on a low table and she begins to start the process of pushing goo with a device on my stomach. It's cold. I start to hear sounds. _Wump wump wump. _There's the heartbeat.

"Your baby is a little small for your term, but other than that it seems perfectly healthy." She says cheerfully. "Do you want to know the gender?"

I think about it. Do I? Maybe I should keep a mystery till then. "No," I say.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yes, I'm sure." For some reason I feel like I shouldn't know. It would be harder to go on that mission. _If I'm going_.

Dr. Odessa wipes the goo off and I head out to dining hall. I grab a tray of my specially portioned stew and bread and sit next to Finnick, Annie, and Johanna. Oh look, she's out. When I sit down, Finnick greets me with a smile and so does Annie. Johanna doesn't do anything.

"Was the wedding the way you wanted it?" I ask Finnick.

"Yeah, it was great. It was really close to being in District Four." He says.

"It was lovely." says Annie.

"Yes it was." Finnick says looking dreamily at Annie. They just look at each other dreamily, and then Johanna coughs and tries to break the awkwardness, kind of.

"So this grub here, it's supposed to be portioned?" she asks me. She picks up some of the stew with her spoon, then she turns it upside down and watches it plop into the bowl.

"Yeah, it's specialized." I say trying to keep this empty conversation going. I feel my stomach growling. I haven't realized how hungry I am. I begin to dip a piece of bread into the stew.

"Yours is specialized for the two of you, huh?" she says casually.

I stop and look at her surprised. She definitely caught me off guard. Finnick and Annie are back from dreamy land, and had just listened to what she said.

"You know too?" I ask.

"Yup," She says pronouncing the "p" with a pop. "I kind of suspected it; that you were knocked-up, before they told me. You're getting a little huge."

"Who told you?" I ask.

"I did." Says Finnick says in a low tone.

"You told her? What was it? Just so happen to be talking about unexpected pregnant girls, then I came up?" I'm starting to sound a little angry. I'm not talking clearly, either.

"Katniss, you can't keep it a secret forever." Says Johanna. Finnick gives her a look for her forwardness. She catches it, "What?" He just dismisses her.

"I just thought she should know." Says Finnick. "I didn't mean to do it behind you back or anything." He says.

I see Annie is mentally somewhere else. Even if she is, she probably knows too. That doesn't actually make me mad. She is Finnick's wife, but for some reason I wanted less people to know. It would be less people to look down on me- thinking I'm always in need of special care. I don't want to be the one sitting safely in a corner so I won't get hurt. Now that Johanna knows, there will probably one more person to stop me, mentally, from doing what I think is right. Or she'll just pity me like the rest of them do.

"Sure, I get it." I say still offended. I still don't have to be happy. There's a moment of silence.

Annie comes back. "Katniss, how are you feeling?" she asks.

"I'm good." I say casually.

"The wedding cake, they say Peeta decorated it. It was absolutely beautiful. He has real talent. No wonder he paints. He's really good." Annie chimes.

"Yes, he's a good artist. He catches every detail." I say, trying to force a smile.

"Too bad, he's not catching too many details now."

I look behind me to see who spoke. Haymitch. "Speaking of the devil, he wants to see you. Finish up. We're going to the hospital ward."

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><p><em><strong>Cliffhanger. Sort of. There's a chapter I'm working on that has a HUGE cliffhanger. You'll be hanging over the Grand Canyon! that's how big it is. Well, that's much later. Thanks for reading. Reviews would be awesome.<strong>_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Updated! Hope none of you ****imploded**** from the minor cliffhangar (that's directed at you, iluvtheboywiththebread). Gl**__**ad to see you guys really like this. Happy reading!**_

_**Random Disclaimer: I DON'T own the Hunger Games. Nobody take me to court.**_

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><p>This wasn't part of the plan. I was supposed to go to the Capitol, kill Snow, and get taken out myself. If I'm the only person he tries to attack in rage, then I not supposed to hear the words <em>He wants to see you<em>. I start to feel nervous. I'm going to see Peeta. I'm sort of afraid what I'll find. Haymitch has been seeing him. I guess he's getting a little better, if he wants to see me.

"How's he doing?" I ask Haymitch. He doesn't say anything and this puts a sickness in my stomach. "Well?" I say.

"Better, I guess. We won't know till you're there." He says. I look down at my shoes from over my bulging jacket. Oh yeah, about the bulging...

"Haymitch what do I do about the… do you think he'll notice?" I put a hand on my stomach. He sighs.

"Keep the jacket on. We'll give you a blanket or something." He says. Before I can ask anymore, we're there. Haymitch hands me an ear piece.

"We'll be right next door." He says. I take the ear piece and he goes into the other room. I'm in front of the door. I put my hand on the knob and I notice it's slightly shaking. Well, this as far as I got last time. I force myself to turn the knob. I open the door and see Peeta sitting in bed. He doesn't look like he has restraints. I'm kind of happy for it, and then I kind of worry about it. He looks at me, with his blue eyes, complete with normal emotion. Better than last time.

"You wanted to see me." I say.

He motions for me to sit in the chair beside the wall. I sit in the chair and take a pillow form the floor to my lap. I sit there and wait.

"I have some questions I want to ask you." He says.

"Sure." I say.

"What happened seven years ago… tell me the memory again. The one when I gave you bread."

I start with the story again. I've said it so many times before, it feels like it's losing it meaning. This is different. I'm telling the person who was there, but it's sad because I'm the only one that recalls it now.

When I finish, it looks like he's caught in thought.

"I must have really liked you, to get that beating." He says. I don't say anything. He looks at me.

"During the first Hunger Games, you tried to kill me, didn't you?" he says accusingly .

"No, I didn't want to kill you."

"What about the Tracker Jackers? I got a leg wound and you left me by a stream to die."

"No!" I say. "Wait, I did cut the hive, but that's when I thought you were with the careers. I thought you wanted to help the careers catch me. The wound, Cato did that to you after he saw you help me escape. Later, I found you by the stream."

I can see he's tensing up, and I hope he doesn't go into a paroxysm. He holds on to restraints I didn't see there. He clenches for several seconds. I sit there holding my breath. Then it seems like it's passing. He's not going to kill me yet. All I can do is sit there. He begins to calm down. He relaxes his muscles, then it seems like he is studying me for lying, but I'm not, so he won't find anything. "I took care of you. I cleaned your wounds." I say.

"Why?"

"We were a team. I wasn't going to leave you."

"Did you ever think you would probably do better without me? I mean, I was injured wasn't I?"

"I did think about it, but I couldn't let you die, or let someone kill you. I cared about you. I went to the feast and got the medicine even when you told me not to. Sorry for drugging you, but it was to save your life. We both made it out."

I'm not sure that was a good thing. Those berries caused so much. It would probably been better if we both died. I let Cato kill me, and then Peeta would die too.

"Yeah, here we are." He says sarcastically. "Okay, so you risked your life for mine, but all that stuff in the cave was for show, right? Pretty much everything after that was for show also. You didn't really love me. You just wanted to do it because if you didn't, somebody would get hurt." He says.

Why does it matter, don't I love him now? "Yes, I'm admitting I wasn't in love with you like you were with me."

"You loved Gale."

"I did, but…" I don't where to takes this. I could let him believe I never loved him, but I do. I could tell him I do, but how would I prove that I do?

"What?" he says.

"It doesn't have to romantic love does it? I loved you guys differently. Gale had always been my friend, then he admitted his feelings for me. I loved you, because you loved me. You were always the one beside me during the Games, the interviews, the nightmares. We both went through the Hunger Games, and there's no one else I can share the pain with. You saved my life, then I saved yours, but you saved my sanity. I couldn't go on without you next to me. I'd probably be drunk all the time, trying to make the pain go away, like Haymitch."

"Watch it, girl." I hear in my ear piece. Peeta slightly clenches his hands in the restraints, but he heard what I said. He smirks.

"That's Haymitch for you." He says in a low tone. I think that's the first time I've seen him smile for a long time. Well it was a smirk, but it's close.

He returns to his serious expression. "Are you in love with me?" he says completely straight.

He wants to know if I love him, like he loved me before. I guess I should be feeling like he's putting me on the spot. Yes, it still feels like it, but I'm sure I can confidently answer now. "Yes." I say softly.

He raises an eyebrow. "Don't lie."

"I'm not." I say. He's quiet for a moment. He lowers his gaze from me to his lap.

"Sorry to hear that." He says dismally.

What? I'm absolutely confused. His straight expression saddens a little. Does he not love me anymore?

"I'm sorry Katniss, but I… don't know who you are." He says this softly, like he's trying put the most depressing of words softly, so they don't hurt as bad. They still hurt. Really bad.

"You still don't?" I say hopelessly. "You don't have any feeling, or memory of me?"

"I have of bunch these contaminated memories of you, and I can't seem to remember the real ones". He feels bad for me. It seems like the tables are turned from our first Huger Games. I love him, he doesn't know who I am.

It takes a whole lot of strength to stop myself from crying. The stupid hormones are making it worse. Peeta is looking down at his hands. I'm glad he can't see my eyes watering. I quickly wipe them, before he notices. He doesn't say anything more, so I just sit there in my disconsolation for awhile. What now? What is there to say? From the ear piece, Haymitch tells me I can leave if I want to.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen." I say cautiously, to keep my voice from breaking. "I used to live in Seam. I used to live with my mother and sister, there. My sister's name is Primrose and she's 14 years old. I'm 18 now. I go hunting in the woods with my bow…" Peeta looks up, perplexed. "I first saw you when we were little. I met you when I was eleven years old, but I really came to know you at the Reaping 2 years ago." Peeta's confusion is gone.

"I used to take my sister to the bakery, because she liked to see the beautiful cakes you frost. You started painting about a year ago, and you're really good at it. My favorite color is green, and you told me yours is orange."

"Orange?" he asks.

"Well, you told me "sunset orange", like when the sun is going down, and the sky is this deep orange color." I say. I guess he's imagining it, because Peeta smiles a little.

From that moment, I knew it wasn't all gone. There was no way that it could just disappear. We would just have to start over. There was still hope. Peeta and I could be friends again.

I spend about an hour or more talking to Peeta, telling him how District 12 looked, and things I remember about him before the Reaping. At one point while I was describing the town square, he mentioned he remembered the Justice Building. Okay, it's a building, but he remembered it. Haymitch calls me on the ear piece to tell me it's time to go. I say good-bye, as if we just met. I start walking to the door.

"Will you come tomorrow?" Peeta asks.

"Sure." I say. "Around the same time." I walk out of the room and into the one next door.

"How was that?" I say. I seem to have surprised the doctor.

"It' seems he is doing better, but there are still some traces of the venom."

"Will he always have it?" I ask.

"I predict he may. It's hard to get the last traces out of his system."

"Oh,"

"He's still has some anxiety when he's in contact with you. He appears to be controlling it, somewhat, but I don't know if he's safe to leave the hospital yet. It's probably best if he stays here, so that we can have constant supervision."

I hope he's hospitalized rest of his life. I'm worried about the rage, but maybe that will decease. The doctor said he'll always have it, though. In what way, I don't know. I'm hoping that when he does get out, he won't go absolutely mad, and then have to be sent back here.

"At least he's better than when we got him." says Haymitch. "He remembered me, right?"

"I'm sure everyone who ever met you, knows that you drink like a fish." I say.

Haymitch pretends to glare at me.

"Well we're done for today." says the doctor. "I'll see how he is tomorrow."

"Can I see him tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes, but only with supervision. We don't know if he'll attack you again." He speaks as he leaves the room.

"You heard the man." says Haymitch.

"I'm going to listen." I say.

"Yeah, right." He says doubting. "Just remember it's for his health too. You usually risk your health for what you want to do, so don't risk his also."

"I won't." I say.

"Well, we can only wait and see. I'm going to bed. See you later." He says in his gruffy voice.

I make my way to the boarding cell. All these emotions get me sleepy. The one good thing about being exhausted by then end of the day is that actually being able to fall asleep. And I know I've been having trouble with that.

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for reading and any possible reviews you may leave. Till next chapter.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Katniss finally does it. This is a short chapter, but anyway...happy reading! (oh and sorry if there's grammatical errors)**_

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><p>My earlier assumption was wrong.<p>

Prim is sleeping next to me. Her hair is getting in my face. I mean, I was awake anyway. I lie on my back and look at the ceiling. The blank white ceiling starts turning into animated painting in my head. Peeta is painting and the invisible paintbrush illustrates a sunset. It's the sunset we saw on the roof of the building in the Capitol.

All of the sudden there's a jerking movement inside of me. It surprises me. I raise up on my elbows. I accidentally woke up my sister when I grabbed the blanket from being surprised. Prim turns over to face me.

I'm breathing quickly; my heart beat speeds a little. I've only felt flutters. This is new. I feel like a poke coming from inside. I'm admitting, it sort of frightens me.

"Relax Katniss." Says Prim in loud whisper. "It's only the baby. It's just moving." She looks concern. She takes my hand and puts it on my stomach. I start to feel the baby's movement with my hand. Prim puts her hand there too. She smiles a little.

"It's like it's poking me with its elbow." I say with a pained expression. Prim gives a little laugh. "I don't know why you're laughing, it hurts." I say, failing at keeping a straight face with her smiling. The baby stops moving. My breathing becomes slower. I'm okay. It's normal. I don't know how my mom wasn't freaked out a little like I am.

So my schedule is the usual; Breakfast, classes, lunch, more classes, training with Gale, then I see Peeta. I think Peeta is getting better. I go for 2 hours each day. I think we're really getting close again. We watch shorten versions of the Hunger Games that we were in. We also see some footage from the Victory Tour. When I see Effie it makes me sad. Even though she tortured me with puffy dresses and high heels, I miss her.

A video comes up of when Peeta proposed. I explained it was all a plan that we had. Then we watch the interviews; My dress burning up and then Peeta's news. Obviously, we had no idea what he said was true, but Peeta still thinks it's a lie.

The good thing about these visits is sometimes he remembers things and he'll describe them to me. He'll ask me if that's how they really happened and I'll explain if it did.

"Katniss, I remember the bread."

"Really? What do you remember about it?"

"I remember what you told me in your story. I actually remember it happening. There's another thing I remember about it. We were outside at the end of the day. I tried to catch your eye. You looked away. And then… for some reason, I think you picked a dandelion." I nod. He does remember. I never mentioned that to anybody about trying to thank him, and finding that dandelion. About what that dandelion meant to me.

"I guess I really did love you back then." He says.

I nod again. _Back then_. He loved me, and now he's just trying to make sense of it all. I can't imagine what he's going through.

Another day, and I had just came out of training. I feel tired. Gale left to work with Beetee, so I walk alone back to the Compartments. Some stranger with a communicuff stops me and tells me to go to Coin's office. Oh shit. I haven't made my decision yet. Is she expecting it?

I walk to Coin's office and see her talking to her secretary. Coin sees me and opens the door to her office. She gestures for me to go in. Coin goes in and when I walk past the secretary's desk I greet her and smile facetiously. "How are you doing?"

She glares at me.

I go in and close the door after me.

"Well Katniss, I believe are terminating mission is scheduled in just a few days." She says. "Have you made your decision?"

I'm unsure. I cross my arms over my chest to appear certain, but I'm not. "I'm still… I haven't made up my mind." I say.

Coin gives a short sigh. "You've had a mass amount of days to think about this." She says like she's disappointed, but it seems like she's ominously smiling again. She's just glad I didn't say no.

"How did you plan on getting me on a hovercraft to the Capitol?" I ask. I can tell she's glad I asked.

"You are to be boarding a hovercraft without Boggs and other people who are familiar with you. We don't want them distracting you. You will be dressed in regulated uniform with unnoticeable special protection we have for you. It will conceal you from showing." She says her eyes dropping to my stomach.

"You will be armed with the regulated gun, but we will also conceal your arrows in your uniform. It will be a smaller more portable set. The hovercraft team you will be accompanying is targeting Snow's mansion, where he'll be. We're planning on capturing him and bringing here, but you know how things get, and it could be easier just to finish him off there."

"So, after that?"

"The whole team will be picked up on the roof of the building and brought back here."

"Yes, but what about when I'm gone? They'll figure me missing." I say.

"Katniss, you do not have to worry about that. I'll let them know you're doing a special assignment in the studio. You will be rehearsing for a prop which will be kept for after the raid of the Capitol. The project will take all day."

I guess it could work, but I don't think I can make the decision by myself anymore. I understand that I am pregnant and I'm willing to go, but what about Peeta? I guess he has every right to have a part in this, but he doesn't know.

"We need a decision, Katniss." Coin says impatiently.

"Give me till the end of the day, please." I say. "I have to do something."

"You're not telling anyone of this arrangement are you?"

"No, of course not." I say surely.

"Very well then, till the end of the day. You come to this office before Reflection and tell me your choice." She says. "You are dismissed."

I walk out the room quickly. I have to go see Peeta. Wait, I should see Haymitch first.

I go to the hospital ward and find Haymitch on a bench, sitting there, doing nothing.

"Haymitch!" I quickly walk up to him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting." He says plainly.

"Never mind, look Haymitch there's something important I want to say. We need to get out of the hallway."

Haymitch sighs and lifts himself from the bench. We walk into the room adjacent to Peeta's.

"So what is it?" he says.

"I have to tell him I'm pregnant." I say.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." he says.

"He has to know. It's best he finds out formally. He's doing pretty well, and he'll have to find out eventually."

"You think he's ready?"

"I don't know if he'll ever be ready. So, I just have to come out with it. I'll put it as delicately as I can, if that's possible."

Haymitch is still unsure about the whole situation. "And what about after that?" he asks. "What do you plan to do?"

"I'm not sure. I'm just hoping he won't be terribly shocked." I say. "I just don't like keeping it from him."

"The news isn't going to come easy. We're just going to have to prepare for the aftermath, calm him down after." He says.

He takes something from a desk. He throws me the earpiece. "Put that on. The doctor just left to get something, but he'll be back."

"I'll go in now. Like you said the doctor will be back." I say assuring him.

"Whatever." He says and he takes a seat next to the pane of glass. I put on the ear piece and go into Peeta's room.

When Peeta sees it's me, he gives a small smile. It lightens the room, but I still feel nervous. I take a seat in the chair next to his bed.

"How have you been feeling?" I ask.

"Good, I guess. I thought you weren't coming today."

"Sorry, I'm a little late."

"That's okay." He says casually. "Oh, so I remembered something last night."

"You did?"

"Yeah, um… we were on a train, I think. I used to hold you while you slept." He says a little embarrassed.

"Yeah, you did. I would have nightmares and you lay with me. You did too, but you didn't wake up screaming like I did."

He looks concerned.

"Oh, but you helped me calm down. That's why we slept next to each other. To comfort each other." I say a little disquieted. He nods. Then he grabs one of my hands. He's a little awkward about it at first, but it subsides, and I feel close to him, again. This gesture makes me feel like he really cares about me. Signs like these that make me feel hopeful, but it means I have to tell him now. I can't put it off any longer.

"Peeta, I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" he asks more kindly to me.

I look into the one way window. Even though I can't see through it, I know Haymitch is there. I feel like I'm going throw up. Peeta looks to the widow then looks at me questionably.

"You saw the interviews for the Quarter Quell. You know how you told him them we were already married and that I was pregnant, even though we weren't? It was all planned. It was suppose to turn the audience against the Games. "

"Yeah," he says a little confused.

I take a deep breath and let it out. "Peeta… I really am pregnant."

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><p><em><strong>AHHH, Major Cliffhangar! Sorry about that, but it all leads up to his reaction. Predicting already? Yeah, I do that too, but I have to write it so... we just have to wait and see. *sigh*I'll update as soon as I can.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns PS: thanks for reading!**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**I wouldn't leave you guys hanging so for long! Here it is. I have to mention that even though there's a lot of depressing things going on, it's not always going to be. Makes you appreciate the happy parts. (sorry if there's any gram. errors)**_

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><p>Chapter 18<p>

If I ever imagine of telling him I was pregnant, it would have been years from now, when we were married, and living safely in our home in District 12. I imagine he would be happy and excited, and I could probably be happy too, because he will be. I would probably wait a few years because I'm still not so warmed up to the idea of having children, knowing that they could get hurt. But here I am, in the middle of war, probably on Snow's list to be assaninated. Peeta's hospitalized, and he doesn't remember me that well, let alone the fact how I became pregnant. My child will probably get hurt somehow. Nope, not a good time.

Peeta is paralyzed with shock. He slowly loses grip of my hand. He looks confusingly at me.

"What?" he starts. "You said it was just a plan we had. It wasn't real"

"It wasn't supposed to be real." I add.

"But I… don't remember when-. How can it be mine?"

"Peeta, it's yours." I say. "It happened the night before the interviews." I say more hesitantly. I unzip Dr. Odessa 's jacket, to reveal the small bump. He looks sad.

"Did we really get married then?" he asks.

"As far as the people who watched our interview know,"

"But we're really not?"

"No, we're not." I speak in a low tone. I feel almost ashamed of speaking of this. He furrows his eyebrows and clenches his hands in the restraints.

"Why can I not remember any of this?" he says frustrated. He's starting to shake.

"It's not your fault that you don't remember any of this, but just know, it's really your child." I say softly.

He looks like he's tensing up. He grabs on to the bedside rails. His pupils are dilating. I sit there, distressed, not knowing what to do. I put my face into my hands. All I can hear is Peeta fast breathing. I look up. I have to help him. I have to calm him down.

"Peeta, forcus. Stay with me."

"I… can't." he says.

"Yes, you can. Peeta, you're in no danger. Hold on to what's real. I'm here to help you."

The doctor and Haymitch come into the room. The doctor goes to Peeta to calm him down. Haymitch grabs me by the arm and pulls me out of the room. A herd of nurses go into the room after us. I stand outside watching through the window. The nurses sedate him and he looks blankly at me.

I turn away. I can't stand seeing him like that. Haymitch walks me away from the window and we sit on the bench.

"I ruined it." I say discouraged.

He pats me on the back. "I'm sure if he was never hijacked, he would have still found it hard to follow." He says. "I mean who wouldn't? It just takes time, right?"

"I guess so. I just hope I didn't permanently harm him."

"I doubt it. The boy's stronger than you think." He says.

"Right." I say. "He seemed to be the one with the level head, well, until we got him back from the Capitol. He didn't let nightmares control him. He's stronger than me." I look in the direction of the window. He may be strong, but everyone has their breaking point. If I stay here, is it really helping him? I'm the one who is always upturning those paroxysms. And if he can't live with me in his life, then how am I going to raise our child? I never planned on having children. They'll just get hurt and then I'll be hurt knowing I can't protect them. I'll break if something happens to them. What's the point? He or she doesn't deserve to be hurt. I love them so much, that I think the only way to keep them from real pain, is for them not to be born at all.

"I'm going to bed now." I get up from the bench and start walking away. Haymitch doesn't say anything and then walks in the other direction. I want to go to bed and sleep away all this negative thoughts. Get away from reality, but not now. I have to go to Coin.

I walk to her office and find the secretary not there. I open the door a peek. Coin spots me.

"Come in." she says. I walk in and close the door behind me. "Have you made your choice?"

"Yes. I am going." I say dismally. She doesn't notice my attitude about it.

There's that smile again. "Glad to hear it. What made you make up your mind?" she asks.

"Some self encouragement." I lie.

"Well then, I'll make all the arrangements for your departure. Your state will stay concealed. Oh, and I'm sure many people will become completely for the liberation when the Mockingjay is the one to rid of Snow. You'll probably have a shoulder cam of some sort." She says. "You are dismissed. Good night."

I leave the room without a word. My conscious is yelling inside my head, but I ignore it. I just have to get through these next few days without showing any emotion of what I'm going to do. I'm not going to back out. I hope.

In the morning I eat breakfast quickly before anyone I know sits down. I go to nuclear history class and begin to day dream about Snow being dead. Usually my feelings are eating at me right now, but I feel emotionless, sort of like how Peeta was before. Maybe I'm taking control of them.

When I go to training with Gale I have to act fine. Being emotionless is abnormal for me. Luckily, we head off to different stations.

I begin with some weights. They're not that heavy. I do some kind of obstacle course and finish it in good time. Then I'm off to the hand to hand combat station. I didn't see Gale walk over.

"What are you doing?" Gale asks.

"I'm going to that station." I say.

"Katniss you'll get hurt." He says almost in a parent fashion.

"Not if I'm the one hurting the other." I say.

He rolls his eyes. "Why do insist in getting into situations where you could easily get hurt?"

I sigh in frustration. "How am I going to protect myself when I am in a situation when someone is trying to hurt me?"

"You won't be. At least not till much after you have the baby." He says lowering his voice.

"You don't know that."

"Well, it's unlikely here, in Thirteen."

"A war is going on, if you haven't noticed. Nobody is safe." I say.

Gale scowels at me and I walk away. I wish he wasn't so concerned about something he really doesn't have any part in. Just because of him, I start with the punching bag. My hands hurt but I don't care. My knuckles turn red. My punching bag barely moves. I give it stronger punch, using my body and it swings. I give a small laugh. I punch the hell out of it. It feels good to put off my fustration at something.

I look over to see Gale with some other trainees. He's punching a bag of his own while some guy holds it for him. I look over to hand-to-hand combat station. The girl with dark red hair, I recognize, flips a guy. The guy gets up and walks off the mat with a scowl.

"Don't be mad!" she says jokingly. "Who wants to go?" she says.

I walk over to the mat. "I'm up for it." I say.

"Alright, awesome." She takes a stance. "Don't think I'll go easy on you, Katniss."

She knows my name. That's no surprise. I'm given padded fingerless gloves by the trainer. I take a sturdy stance, then the trainer tell us to begin.

She makes the first move and her fist misses my shoulder. While I'm ducking I take punch to her ribs. She gives a slight _ooff_ and then jumps back. She does a side kick and it makes my leg bend. While I'm off balance she kicks me and I land on my knees. Another kick comes down, but I move to the side and get up. We take stances again. I have to look for a weakness. Her arms are guarded in front of her face, leaving her ribs unguarded. I do a low upper cut. She gets hit then jumps to the side and punches me in the face. I step back and wipe the sweat off my forehead. I start punching her in her torso and when she is guarding her ribs, I give her one in her side. She smiles evilly and does a roundhouse kick and I fall to the ground.

"Come on Katniss, up and at it." she says. She's proud of herself, jumping in place. On the ground, I do a hard round house kick and she falls to the ground. She scrambles to sit up. "Not bad." She says. We both get up quickly and just when I about throw another punch, the trainer calls it quits and the siren for the period is over. I walk off the mat and grab a water bottle.

"Nice fighten with ya, Everdeen." The girl says as she walks by.

"Yeah, same." I say in between my fast breathing. I wipe my forehead, then Gale walks past me giving me a disappointed look.

I dismiss it. I guess it's best right now that he doesn't continue to urge me to play it safe. It would just make it harder, well, because I'm going on the mission. I can take care of myself. I've been taking care of family for years. I don't understand why everyone continues to leave me out. Do they think I'm weak, that I can't protect myself? That is not true.

I'm told not to go see Peeta today. The doctor wanted to put in some more tests of his improvement, so he thinks it may be best that I don't see him. I think he just doesn't want me to be the cause of another episode. It will be easier if I don't have to see him before I go.

I find my mother and Prim in the hospital. My mother cleans up her office, and I sit with Prim, who is studying a large text book. She's studying to be a doctor. Prim a doctor. It's sounds like the perfect vocation for her. Once the shift ends, we walk back to the boarding cell.

The next day I sit and take a tray, and sit with Johanna, Finnick, and Annie. I haven't seen Gale today, but it's only the morning.

I take a seat across from Annie and beside Johanna.

"So that big day is pretty close isn't it?" says Johanna. "That bastard, Snow, will finally get what's coming to him." She mutters menacingly.

Annie frowns at her language. She stirs her oatmeal. "I guess that's the kind of spirit they want for soldiers going to the Capitol." she says.

"You're going, Johanna?" I ask.

"Of course. I'm not going stay here while all the action happens." That's how I felt. I'm going to go, but they don't know that.

"I'm perfectly capable of going into battle. I'm not prego or insane." She adds. I don't take her comment personally. I just give a sarcastic laugh.

"I don't know about that last one." I say. Johanna gives me a glare and then she takes a piece of apple from my oatmeal.

"I kind of wanted to stay for this one, but they thought it would help the cause if I went. I mean, I just got married, no honeymoon. I should be given like a vacation time, right?" Finnick says lightly.

"No honeymoon. You just come back, okay?" says Annie. Finnick gives her light kiss on her head.

"Don't worry Annie." I say. "With this girl on his team I'm sure he won't even get to shoot a bullet." I gesture to Johanna.

"That's right." Johanna says.

I hear someone walk up behind me. I'm prepared to turn around to see who it is, but then Finnick greets them. "Hey Peeta, how's it going?"

I drop my spoon into the oatmeal.

"Fine, I think." He says good naturedly.

Finnick gives a small laugh. "I know what you mean."

"You're… out?" I ask.

"I'm still under supervision. I'm not totally healed yet, so they think I'm not quite trustworthy. I have to ask permission to sit with you guys." A notice a guard stands behind him.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends." says Johanna. The guard nods and leaves. Peeta takes a seat next to Johanna. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams."Annie clasps her hands other ears, and Finnick gives an angry look to Johanna.

"My head doctor told me not to censor my thoughts." She replies.

I speak up. "So… you're still staying in the hospital?" I ask over Johanna.

"Uh yeah. They say I'll be out in a couple days. They'll just keep supervising till then." Peeta says.

What strikes me odd is that he seems completely collected. It's like the event of me telling him I'm pregnant never happened.

"You're getting better, that's good." Finnick says.

"Yeah… I guess." He says lowly.

The rest of the conversing is between Finnick and Johanna. Everybody else just listens. Finnick tells a story about a sea turtle stealing his hat, then I pretend to laugh along. I'm still confused about Peeta. Every time I try to get eye contact with him, he's looking another way. I'm thinking about confronting him after, but it would just get in some kind complications and I don't feel to up to that right now. We wouldn't be able to talk with all these people. Once I finish my breakfast, I quickly say good-bye and depart, before anyone else does.

I attend a class about some military tactics, and I make sure to take notes. Then I go to another class about health. After a quick lunch I see that next on my schedule is Training. I wonder if Gale will show up. I haven't seen him all day.

I walk into the training center and immediately spot Gale. He's watching the trainer assemble a weapon. I stand and observe, but I don't stand next to Gale. I feel his eyes on me, but when I look to him, he's attention is on the trainer.

"Alright, laps around the Center." says the trainer in a raised voice. Everyone grabs a gun and stars jogging along the outer way around the Training Center.

I'm jogging and then I'm almost right behind Gale. I run beside him then go more in the front of the group. When we finish the laps, we start practicing in the shooting range. The trainer actually gives me a gun to try out and Gale isn't there to object to it. I don't know why. A pregnant girl can shoot a gun.

My fingers are becoming sore from pressing on the trigger. With each recoil, I'm pushed a little back. I take a sturdier stance and prepare for the recoil. I push the trigger and it hits the target. Yes! I continue with my newly found method and it works well enough.

When we are free about to go to any station, I take up knife throwing. Gale is doing pull ups. The red-head girl, whose name is Enna, calls me over.

"Hey Katniss how about a round up here?" she calls. I look over to Gale, and this time he makes eye contact.

She's going think I'm a chicken. "I'm not up to it today." I say.

"Oh, come on. Just one match? We'll be leaving soon, and we need the practice." She says. I continue with my knives. She sighs. "Oh, you just know I'll be beat you." She says.

"Yeah, that's why." I mumble sarcastically.

"Alright then… you!" she points to Gale. "Yeah, you! I challenge you." Gale looks over to me and I raise an eyebrow. He walks toward the mat.

I don't pay attention much to their match, but Gale wins. Enna is a little disappointed for ending her winning streak, but she's a good sport.

When Training is over I catch up to Gale.

"Where have you been?" I ask.

"With Beetee, putting together traps. That mission is tomorrow." He says plainly.

"Yeah it is." I say solemnly. I should meet with Coin for my arrangements.

"Are you upset that you're not going?" he asks. I shrug my shoulders. I avoid any signs that will give away of what I'm thinking. We keeping walking, the sounds of our footsteps matching. "Hey, don't get caught up in feeling bad. You've done a lot already."

"Yeah, I know." I say. Gale walks off in another direction and I go to Coin's office.

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><p><em><strong>You think she'll go through with it? I can't say much what happens, but thank you guys, for reading. Reviews would be awesome.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	19. Chapter 19

**_Another good chapter. I liked writing this one. Happy reading!_**

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><p>"Do you have an appointment?" asks the secretary.<p>

_Really?_ I mouth. She can't be serious. "Please, just let her know I'm here." I say.

"Sure, fine." She says. She presses a button and informs President Coin that I'm here. Coin tells her let me in. The secretary gestures her arm to the door.

"Uh, thanks." I say. I walk over and try to open the door steadily. My hands are slightly shaking. I don't want her to see me nervous. I don't want to appear frail.

Coin stands behind her desk. She seems to be posed for my arrival. "Katniss," she says. "you're not backing out, are you?"

"No, I'm not." I reply.

She leans her on the desk on her hands. I guess she's trying to look authorative. "I'm sure you want to hear the full arrangements then?"

"Yes." I answer.

From a suitcase, she takes out a regular soldier uniform. I notice its vest is slightly different. There's also , what looks like , a black surgical mask. She holds it up. "This is a mask that soldiers are permitted to wear. It filters some air, and helps in less harmful gases and smoke. You should wear it. It will partly conceal your indemnity." She takes a small pack from under her desk. Attached to its side is a small slim capsule for arrows. "This will be you're pack. It contains the usual necessities and place for arrows. It will be put into the supply closet you like so much. That is where you'll find everything tomorrow."

"Alright, but what about boarding a hovercraft?"

"Right. It appears our "Star Squad" will be boarding hovercraft 14. They're called "Star Squad" by Plutarch, because they will be filming the tribute victors and your friend. You will be on hovercraft 16 with team 435. They are one of the teams targeting Snow's mansion, where he will be."

"Wait, all the victors are going? Including Haymitch and Beetee?"

"No, just the younger ones," She says chafed. "And of course excluding the demented ones."

_Demented ones?_ Annie and Peeta may be a little deranged, but they're not demented. I feel the impulse to yell at her to not to call them that, but I can't yell at the president of District 13. Well, if I did, I could blame it on the hormones.

"The hovercrafts will leave District 13, and then you'll put in word to my family that I'll be working here?"

"Yes, of course. Oh and I need to mention, that Messalla and Pollux will join you for filming."

"What? They're coming with me to film? They know about this?"

"I've asked Messalla to. He agreed to do it, and I bade them both not to tell anyone of our plan."

"How did you get them to do that?" I ask bothered. Well, Pollux is an avox, so he can't speak, but the question is still there: why would they agree to it?

"You should not worry so much. Messalla agreed to it, because he found that filming you for the rebellion important."

"This will be aired? But then everyone will know that I went on that mission." I say.

She looks at me like I'm over reacting. Her attitude towards me is starting to get on my nerves. She acts as if she's filling in the request of child. Her apathetic tone is what really aggravates me.

"Only a few know of your condition. Still, does it really matter when we win this war? What will happen? You will be safe with the soldiers in your team. They'll act as bodyguards. Your team will find Snow and then you'll be able to take him out." I feel uncertain about all of this again. "The doctors will dismiss the thought of you being pregnant when we all come back with a victory. Relax Miss Everdeen. We have it all planed out." She says.

"I need to talk about… if I don't come back…"

"Please, did you not hear about all arrangements? Your safety is very important. Nothing will happen." Obviously, she is lying. She can't control everything, and there is always the chance I'll die. Even here.

"_If_ _I don't come back_…" I say more sternly. "I want everybody to know why I went. In my words, for my reason."

"Other than the reason that it is the Mockingjay's duty?"

"Yes," I say. "I will leave a written letter of my reasons, and it should not be opened unless, and till, I'm pronounced dead." I don't think President Coin is taking me as serious as I feel.

"Exactly what do you plan to write?" asks Coin.

"Hopefully the time won't come to when you find out." I say. She sits back in her chair, trying to read my mind or something. "For going on this mission and fulfilling my Mockingjay duty, I ask this as my last request. If I die, my letter will be read with no adaptation and straightly from it."

"Of course, but you will be safe." She says.

_Safe_. I remember back to the talk I had with Johanna. How the therapist constantly told her she was safe. We are never safe. We never will be. Victor tributes will never really know what it is, again. It's something that I longed for when Peeta was gone. When he held me during the night, I felt some kind of security. It wasn't real safety, but I guess just the feeling comforts me. Hearing Coin saying I'll be safe, makes it clear that it's lie, but I wonder if she knows that.

"Well, is that all that we need to talk about then?"

"Yes." I say.

"Well then. We'll be seeing you when you get back from the Capitol." She reaches out a hand for me to shake. I shake it and leave the office. Now, I've got to go see one more person.

In the hospital ward, I find the doctor and talk to him about me going to see Peeta. After some words of pleading, he finally allows me to. He says that there's video surveillance, and that he doesn't have to be present when I talk to Peeta. He hands me an ear piece just in case of another outburst. He will be attending to other things. Even though with all these precautions, he says Peeta is actually doing better.

I do a small tap on the door for a warning and then open it. Peeta is not in bed. He's sitting in a chair.

"Katniss," He rises from his chair. "I wanted to talk to you after the breakfast period, but you left so suddenly."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. Listen," He steps closer to me. "I want to tell you I believe you, but my thoughts keeping jumbling to keep me thinking straight."

"I understand." I say.

"Also, I've been thinking a lot, and I want to know something."

"What is it?"

"So, if you are pregnant with our baby," he's trying to get over the abnormality of saying that. "I want to know if you loved me then."

"What?"

"Did you really love me, right before that night?"

"Peeta, what-"

"Or did you tell yourself that you loved me after that?"

I understand what it could mean. That this baby is just forcing us to be together, that I still don't love him. It could still all be an act, but without the Capitol causing it.

Even though I think the answer should be clear, it's not. Did I do it out of love? Or did I do it to love? I look into his eyes; the blue iris that made me feel in love that day. Was it that day that I felt something? Couldn't it have been when we both came out of the Games? I just didn't let myself think so.

"It was out of love, or I would have never done it." I say softly.

He looks at me suspiciously. I guess he deserves to, because it's happened before; I pretended to love him, and then he gets hurt when he sees it all as a play.

I guess he realizes I'm telling the truth. It looks like he lowers his suspicion. He doesn't look ecstatic or overjoyed. He just puts a hand to my cheek. Then he moves closer, but he doesn't kiss me. He just touches our foreheads together. We stay like that, then he holds one of my hands. "I think I can say… I love you, again." He says in a hushed tone.

I think my heart just expanded. Hearing him say those words again makes me want to cry. I can finally feel the same way when he admits it. I concentrate on keeping my eyes from tearing up.

Does he really mean it now? I want to believe it. All I know is that I'm in love with him. I'll do anything to keep him from harm. It's one of the little reasons for going to the Capitol, along with others, but more on that later.

After collecting myself from the episode of complete happiness, I spend the time talking with him. I tell him more things of our past, and then I edge closer to what happened before the Quarter Quell. I tell him about our day together before the interviews. Then I know there's something he'll want to talk about. It's the topic I've been trying to avoid a little longer, but it's important . He brings it up before I can steer clear from that conversation. If we talk about it, it will only make it harder to go to the Capitol.

"When did you find out you were pregnant?" he asks.

"About four months ago." I answer.

"Were you scared?"

"Well, yes. I was actually terrified. I never planned on having children, and I was worried about raising our baby alone."

Peeta holds on to my hand. We're both sitting on the bed beside each other.

"You kept it a secret." He says.

"Yes. I kept it a secret, so I wouldn't be stopped from going to the Districts. So I could keep my part in a deal with Coin."

"What was that?"

"I had requests in return for being the Mockingjay. I asked for things like hunting and keeping Prim's cat. I also asked for the immunity of the captured tributes, and their rescue."

Peeta keeps his gaze down. "You risked a lot." He says. _That's not all I'm risking,_ I think.

"I thought it was worth it," I put a hand on my stomach. "I cared about the baby, but I guess I didn't really care about myself. I guess that's was what I thought when I went to the districts. It seems a little contradicting."

"Just a little bit." He says in a soft tone, but he's smirking. I would think he would be absolutely serious, but I guess that's what I love about him. He lightens the feeling in the room. He makes a person feel at ease with his charismatic-ness. I know that's not a word, but it describes him.

"It felt right. Did I do the right thing?" I ask. He looks at the wall. I wait for him to answer.

"Well, if my mind wasn't tampered with then, and I knew what you were doing it, then I would have said no. I guess I would of thought that it wasn't worth risking the baby's and your well being for all this war stuff and my rescue, but we can't change the past."

I look at the ceiling. The ceiling tiles so square and plain. I don't know why I have such an interest with them. Then I think back to my agreement with Coin. The trip to the Capitol, the letter, risking my life. Is that really the right thing to do?

My Reasons for Going:

Snow deserves to be assassinated, and I would like to do it myself.

I've escaped death countless times, and if I do die on the mission, then it would be fate in order, wouldn't it? Even if the rebels won the war, I would probably be in some kind of danger because of my history and what I have done. Didn't I come up with the berries that started the process of rebellion? Trying to live a normal life is impossible and my reputation would only cause harm to the people close to me. Like I said, we're never safe.

I thought before, that Peeta would live more happily if I wasn't around. I would kill Snow and then I get taken out myself. Ever since the Quarter Qwell, I was supposed to save him. That was the plan Haymitch and I came up with. The Capitol seemed to only prove my idea of leaving him, when Peeta was brought here hijacked. He would go into rage whenever he saw me, but what about now? Can I be selfish and want a life with Peeta?

The living person growing inside of my abdomen. My baby. He or she isn't even born yet, and it's changed so many of perspectives and decisions. I was scared, so I rushed off hoping that risking our lives in this war, and bringing Peeta back would make things simpler. I now know I'm just distracting myself with my real responsibility. I thought the best thing for my son or daughter was not to let it be born into this world, but it's not. They need a chance. Somehow I realized that while talking to Peeta.

I lay back on the bed with my legs over the side. Peeta does the same. He puts an arm under his head. We both stare toward the ceiling.

"There are some things that you can change, right?" I ask.

He looks at me. "Hmm?"

"You can make mistakes, but you can go and fix them, right? At least you can always try to."

"Yes, I guess so," He says. "But what are you talking about?"

I sit up and get up from the bed. "I have to go fix something," I say. I walk up to the door. "Good night Peeta. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Um, good-night. Tomorrow, then." He says. I can tell he's confused, but I can't explain now. I close the door behind me and take out the paper from my pocket. I tear it up into pieces and throw the shreds into a nearby bin. I run down the hallways which are pretty empty. I run up some stairs and then find Coin's office. Please be here. I knock on her door, and there's no answer. What if she's in bed already? No, I have to talk to her. I go to the Special Defense, but she's not there. I have to try Command. So I go there and find the doors locked. I knock on them, hoping somebody is in there. There's no answer for the longest time, and I'm about to give up. The door slides open.

"Katniss what are you doing here so late?" It's Coin. She's alone, but it seems she was communicating with someone on the computer.

"I can't go on the mission." I say.

Coin looks at me stupefied. "Why ever not?"

"As much as I want to see Snow killed, myself. I am in no condition to be going."

"That did not stop you before, and you were going to be safe, completely guarded."

"I'm sorry but I've changed my mind, and I believe it's for good reason."

"Katniss, we had an agreement." She says sternly.

"Yes, I know, but I'm not just putting myself at risk, and that is why I'm not going. Messalla and Pollux won't have to go. There will no longer be a need for extra protection for the mission. The team will no longer have to protect me, so they can concentrate on completing their mission successfully. And it would be better to have someone more suitable to do the job. Please respect my decision." I say and without being dismissed, I leave Command.

Coin didn't seem too happy. I guess I wouldn't be if someone broke their word to me. I don't know how she'll make me pay for it. It seemed that Coin had some kind of plan underneath it all. What it could have been, I don't know. All I know for sure is that I did what I had to do. I'm positive it was the right thing to do.

**_Yay. so Katniss and Peeta are almost normal with each other. She decide not to go on the mission, but something else is going on in the background. Foreshadowing! Coin is unhappy. Bum bum bum! Thanks for reading and I'd like any reviews you leave._**

**_-cheezebuns_**


	20. Chapter 20

_**Yes, a good chapter. I think so. sry 4 gram. ers. So happy reading!**_

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><p>Chapter 20<p>

I stand between Hazelle and Prim. Hazelle is trying not to cry. I'm trying not to keep myself from changing my mind and running onto a hovercraft.

Today they go to the Capitol. Soldiers give good-byes to their families and friends. As much as I want to think that they'll come back, I know there's no guarantee that they'll all make it out. That's the thought I try to ignore when I see Gale, Finnick, and Johanna.

"Be careful out there." says Hazelle to Gale. "Don't go looking for a fight, okay? You just keep your guard and make it out of there."

"Okay." He says. That doesn't seem at all like what Gale would want to do, but I'm sure he'll listen to his mother. Hazelle hugs him tightly, then she forces herself to let go. Gale then starts his good-byes with Rory and Vick. When he reaches Posy she grabs tightly to him, just like Hazelle.

"I'll see you when I get back, okay?" He says. Posy nods. She gives a little encouraging smile. Her grey eyes watering a little. Gale walks to me.

"I'll see you when you get back, then." I say.

"Count on it," He hugs me and then breaks away. "Seems like there's something between us." He says. He glances at my small baby bump. I let out a little nervous laugh. I mean, it's not that big. I hope it's not totally noticeable with this jacket.

"Take care of yourself." He says.

"You too." I add. He walks to Prim and my mother.

"Good luck, Gale." Prim says.

"Till you come back." My mother says.

A voice from the intercom tells everyone in the Hangar that it is time for the soldiers to board the hovercrafts. Gale walks off and waves back at us when he's just about to enter the hovercraft.

"Bye Gale!" shouts Posy.

I look over to where Finnick is. Annie is crying. Not sobbing, but she's sad to see him go. Finnick is comforting her, and then I see someone behind them, next to the hovercraft, alone.

I walk over to her. She's repeatedly cutting a piece of rope. She turns her attention and sees me.

"Tying knots was getting boring," says Johanna.

"Yeah, it gets pretty mundane." I add.

"Are you upset you're not going?" she asks.

"Truthfully, I was, but not anymore." I say.

"Huh, I guess Mockingjays retire too."

"More like maternity leave."

"Yeah, sure. People change when they start having kids. I don't think you'll still be up to it when you're an actual _mother_." She pretends to shiver with the thought.

"Changing for the better."I remark. "You just make sure Snow is dead."

"Gladly," she says. Another announcement from the intercom informs the departure of the soldiers and tells the families to leave the Hangar. "Better get going." She says.

"Yeah." I walk a few feet away from the hovercraft. I turn around and see Johanna boarding. "Good luck!"I shout.

She glances sideways. "Oh please, I won't need it!" she says behind her. I can't help but smile. _Classic Johanna_.

The hallways seem a little emptier. The citizens are given the morning off because of the departure to the Capitol. The doctors still have to attend to the patients, so my mother is working, but my sister and I go visit Peeta.

I open the door halfway and see Peeta in a chair.

"I brought someone with me, if you don't mind." I say.

"Umm, no, who is it?" he asks.

"Hi Peeta." Says Prim.

"Uh, hi Prim." He says.

I walk over to where he sits. I see a paper with instructions on how to properly wash your hands. He clearly isn't studying this and with the lighting I can see a little through the paper. "You've been drawing?" I ask.

"Yes, it gets boring being in this room all day." He replies.

Prim looks over my shoulder. She takes the instructions from my hand and turns it over. "Wow it's really good." She says.

"What is it?" I ask. Prim looks to Peeta and then to me, smiling. "What?" I ask eagerly.

"It's not finished yet." Prim says.

"You'll see it when it's done." Peeta adds.

"Really? I can't see it?" I sit down, like I've given up on pestering. I suddenly try to grab the paper, but Prim spins and I miss it. She laughs at me. She hands it back to Peeta and he puts it away.

"We'll since you're not busy drawing, then we should get out of here." I say.

"I don't know if I can leave without supervision." He says.

"You'll be with us." I add. "We'll take care of you. We won't go far." Peeta considers this for a moment. Prim stands up and so do I. I hold out my hand to help him up. He takes it and then we leave the room. The three of us walk in the Hummingbird Room. I guess that's one of the places I like to go the most, because it reminds me so much of home.

"I guess you've never been here before." I say.

"Uh nope, but it looks like outside of the fence in 12." Peeta says.

"Pretty much, it's supposed to be a replica of the Meadow back in our district." A hummingbird hovers over us. Prim reaches her hand in the air, but she's nowhere close to the bird. It speeds away.

"I just remembered something." Peeta says.

"Hmm?"

"I saw some footage of you in the Meadow in 12. You were singing, and all the birds became silent. I had a sense of deja vu. That happened to someone else also."

I know who he's talking about. "Yes, when my father sang. I remember you saying that the birds went silent."

"I recognized the song too."

"Really?" I ask. I've never sang it in front of Peeta. I never really sang the Hanging Tree out loud since my mother told me not to.

"Your father was singing it one day, when he came into the bakery to trade."

Prim gives a sad smile in my direction. She probably remembers when he used to sing it too. She was still very young. Prim walks off toward some tall grasses then begins to pick the small flowerings. She faces away. Peeta and I sit down on the ground.

"She'll be okay?" Peeta asks.

"Yeah, she'll be fine." I say. Then I remember that Peeta has lost his parents too. He lost his whole family.

"You know it's hard losing ones you love. I can't imagine what it's like for you." I say softly.

He shrugs. "I was upset when I found out. Delly was the one who told me." He says looking at the ground. "I guess always be sad about it, but it's one of those things you slowly have to get over."

I nod and put my knees to my chest. I look over to Prim who continues to pick the small flowers from the grass. I think it hurt her a lot. The only thing is, she didn't let it stop her like my mother. Prim is strong. She might be stronger than me.

Peeta takes a long blade of grass and begins turning it into knots. I guess tying knots has become a second nature to us. I sit there and just listen to my surroundings. It keeps me from thinking about what's going on in the Capitol right now. Prim walks over and sits close to us. She gives a small smile to me and then she gathers the flowers in her lap. She picks one and then sticks it my hair. I turn my head in her direction.

"Don't move," she whispers loudly. She places multiple flowers in and then sits back. "There, you're beautiful now." Says Prim.

I give her a look. "_Now?"_ Peeta smiles and continues with his knots.

"It renews your beauty." She says in a Capitol accent. She places one in hers and sits back, leaning on her hands. I take a flower and put it on her ear. We continue to sit there in silence, tying knots and watching birds. Then Prim speaks up.

"Katniss, have you thought about any names?"

"For the baby?" I ask. She nods. "Haven't really thought about it." I reply.

"What about you, Peeta?" she asks.

He looks a little surprised. "Can't say I thought about it." he answers.

"Huh, well I guess you still got awhile till then," she says. "Do you know the gender yet?" Peeta looks up in notice.

"Uh, no. I think I'll keep it a surprise." I say. Prim shrugs her shoulders and then picks herself up from the ground.

"I guess I better get going. I have doctor training soon."

"Okay then," I say. "You'll be a great doctor."

"Thanks, I'll see later." She says. Prim walks out through the glass door.

"I guess we need to talk about some things." Peeta says.

"I guess we do." I say.

Peeta tosses a blade of grass and sits closer. I really don't know how to start this kind of conversation. Luckily, Peeta starts it off.

"How long till the date. When are you due?" he asks.

"Ummm, well from what Dr. O said, I'm due in April."

"Oh," he says. Peeta is usually the one good with talking and words. He always sounds confident when he speaks about certain things, but I can kind of tell he's not as steady. That's okay. I'm nervous about it all too.

"So… _what-are-we-going-to-do_?" I say. Peeta gives a shrug.

"This what we got to talk about." He says. "First, what about living arrangements? I mean, hopefully I'm not still in the hospital by then."

"You won't be." I assure him. "I guess we get our own boarding cell. I'll move out from my mother's and Prim's."

"I guess so. What about stuff?"

"Stuff? You mean baby stuff?" He nods. "I don't think we'll have to worry about it. District 13 makes sure that infants have what they need." I say.

"Oh," he says. "I've got a lot to learn about this stuff." He says scratching the back of his head with a hand.

"Me too," I say softly. "But we'll figure it out. We can do this." I say letting the last words slip. I failed at my attempt to sound confident.

Peeta takes my hand and gives it an encouraging squeeze. "Hopefully this war is all over before the baby comes." He says solemnly. I put my chin on my knees. That's one of things I worry about the most. I guess he notices my expression. He knows that's the main reason I don't want kids. "We'll be okay." He says. I exhale to relax. At least he didn't say "safe".

After a minute of just sitting there Peeta asks me something.

"So, you don't know if it's a boy or girl?"

"No, I told the doctor I wanted to keep it a surprise." I say. "Which one would you hope for?" I ask.

"Uh, I don't know. A boy… or maybe a girl. Either one." He says. "What about you?"

"Um, maybe a boy. I guess they have a better chance at protecting themselves." I say.

"Or it could be a girl, and act just like you." He adds. "Then she'll be brave and be able to protect herself. You could teach her how to use a bow, then she wouldn't need anybody's protection."

"Oh?"

"Yup, and she'll be beautiful, just like her mother." He says smiling at me. I feel a blush taint my cheeks. "but then you'll have to teach me how use a bow, so we can keep boys away." He says jokingly.

"I don't even want to think that far ahead!" I say laughing.

"Me neither." He says. Then he laughs. I laugh too and then it dies down till he's smiling. I realized how much I really missed him. His smile, eyes, that love that I thought would always be there. I appreciated it more.

He notices me looking at him. "What?" he asks.

"It's nice to have you back." I say. He stops laughing. I move over closer and hug him putting my head to his chest. This is the first real hug in a long time. No cameras, no uncertainty from my part. He puts his arms around me.

I speak softly, "We may be young, but we could be good parents. You'll definitely be a good father." He moves a hair behind my ear.

"I know you're worried about it, but you'll be a good mother too. You love them." I smile in return. I want to believe him. I may not be perfect, but I'll do my absolute best. That's what counts, right?

"Oh! I have something to show you." I break away from his hug and dig into the pocket of my jacket.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Be patient." I say teasingly. I look in my other pocket and I find it. The picture Dr. Odessa gave me. I've kept it in my pocket this whole time. I take it out and hand it to him. He tilts his head then realizes what it is.

"Whoa, that's…" he starts.

"Our baby." I say looking over his shoulder. His expression is solemn. He traces the outline of it with a finger.

"That's definitely a tiny person." He says.

"I thought it looked like an alien." I say. Peeta looks at me strangely. "It looks like one doesn't it?"

He laughs. "Yeah, I guess so, but it's beautiful."

"Our beautiful alien." I add.

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><p><em><strong>Ha, beautiful alien. What was Peeta drawing? I'd actually like to ask you. What do you think? I have an idea, but you guys might come up with a better one. Don't put "Katniss" because that's so predictable. So I'm still writing, so a chapter may not come up daily. I'll TRY, but no promises :( Well, gracias for reading and leave a suggestion!<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**This might be considered a filler, but I don't really see how any chapter is a filler. **_

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><p>Chapter 21<p>

It was getting sort of late and we agreed that it was time to go. The doctors don't even know where Peeta is. We walk back to the Hospital Ward and receive some odd glances while walking through. Is it odd that we still get attention because of the Hunger Games? I ignore them and take Peeta's hand.

When we reach the room, a very disappointed looking doctor stands in the way.

"Where have you been?" he asks.

"In the Hummingbird room," I reply. He's not happy with just an answer.

"Mr. Mellark may be doing better, but he still needs certified supervision." He says. He looks to Peeta. "I'm sorry, but you can't leave the room, unless given permission to. We do not know if you are alright to leave the hospital alone."

"But he wasn't alone. My sister and I were with him, and he seems to be okay. Aren't you?" I look to Peeta.

"Yeah, sure. I'm good." He says.

The doctor is not convinced. He keeps his arms crossed. He sighs, and then looks at his watch. I can't help but notice his handle-bar mustache. I wonder if he combs it like that. Random thought.

"Well, in conclusion, you still need permission to leave the hospital room. You'll tell us where you're going and for how long. Mr. Mellark here, is still on treatment, and we liked it to keep it on schedule."

"Okay," we both answer. The doctor opens the door and motions his hand for Peeta to follow him.

"Bye, I'll see tomorrow." I say.

"Bye." He says behind him. The doctor closes the door after them and I'm left in the hallway.

I don't really have anything to do. There's no more training, because all the soldiers are gone. I can't really hang around in the hospital. I'm completely bored. The only good thing is that I got stay with Peeta today, but then I think back to when everybody left in the morning. I get that stomach turning sensation again.

I want them all to come back home. The thought of having to deal with one of my friends' deaths is unbearable. I need to distract myself. I need to keep myself busy doing something productive. I'll go find Beetee.

Beetee works at monitors along with other techs. The scene is busy with computing and screens displaying scene of war from the Capitol. I walk over to Beetee who watches a screen earnestly.

I look at the screen and make out blacken remains of tents and vehicles.

"Beetee, what's going on there?" I ask.

"Oh Katniss, you're here. Well it appears that the Capitol has set fire to one of the rebel camps at the base of the mountains."

"Any casualties?" I ask worriedly.

"It doesn't appear so. They were given news of the attack, and so most of the soldiers had escaped before the hovercrafts found them."

I relax a little. Good, nobody died. Johanna, Finnick, Gale and the team are still out there somewhere.

The screen changes to a scene in the actual city of the Capitol. A hovercraft films the streets from above. I see oval shaped posts standing in the streets.

"Beetee, what are those?"

"They're pods. They all unleash a sort of attack on the crowd that disables it. It's one of the Capitol's defenses against the rebels."

"Like traps?"

"Yes, but each no need to worry. Each commander is equipped with a Holo. It's a device that contains a complete layout of the streets and where the pods are located. Boggs has one. He's leading 451, Star Squad."

"I heard." I look at the screen beside me and see explosions going off. It reminds me of something.

"We're they able to use the traps that you and Gale designed?"

"Why yes. President Coin approved of the designs and they were set up in the Capitol." He says. He points to a screen a few feet away. "Look there. There's one of the traps." I look to the screen and see boxed in area with injured soldiers. I'm inferring a bomb just went off. I watch the screen as I see people come into the area to help the wounded. Oh no. I know what's going to happen. I can only watch in horror for anticipation. Then, boom. Another bomb goes off, killing more people.

I need to get out of here. I walk backwards and turn towards the door. Beetee is occupied in his work so he doesn't notice me leave. I walk out of there lean against the wall. Well, at least I found out that my friends are still alive.

That evening, I sit on the bed and wait for my mother and Prim to arrive. I lay back and stare at the ceiling till I hear the turning of the door knob. I sit straight up and my mother steps in with my sister behind her.

"Hello sweetie, are you feeling well?" my mother asks.

"I'm fine." I say.

"That's good. Prim has some news to share."

"Oh? What is it?" I ask. Prim puts her medical ID badge in a drawer and spins to face me.

"I've completed the basic training and they want to me to start helping right away!" she says excited.

"That's great Prim! Are you a doctor now?" I ask.

"Oh, no. Not yet. I have to take some more training to become a doctor, but with my basic training done, I can help out with more cases." She says.

"This is wonderful. Prim is actual certified healer." My mother says. "I'm so proud of you."

Prim smiles and then goes to sit next me.

"I already got a job they want me to do." She says. I notice she's not cheery anymore.

"What kind of job?" I ask suspiciously.

She looks to my mother who is still caught in her happiness and then back to me. Something is wrong. I fear the worst for what she's about to say. She finally speaks, "They want me to go help out in the Capitol."

My mother's eyes widen in surprise. I was expecting it, but that doesn't stop the shock and dread I feel.

"The Capitol?" my mother says. "Why would they ask you to go there?"

"They told me that people are constantly brought to the tents for injuries and that there are not enough medics. They're desperately trying to find volunteers." Prim talks with urgency. "After my final exam, they congratulated me on my high score and then they asked me if I was willing to go help out in the Capitol."

"No. you can't go. I'm not letting you go." says my mother.

"But mother-" My sister starts.

"No, I don't want you over there. It's too dangerous and there will be guns, and…" she begins to trail off.

"I already said I would go." She says speaking over my mother.

My mother has that look of surprise again. I wonder how my face looks. I'm completely shocked. Telling them she'll go to the Capitol without my mother's consent is so unlike her. It sounds like something I would do.

"You told them you would go?" My mother puts a hand to her chest, like she'll have a heart attack. "Primrose Everdeen, how could you agree to something like that by yourself?"

"I'm very much prudent to make my own decisions," she says. "I know you worry about me, but I want to help. I want to give my time to those wounded people that desperately need it."

My mother gets a sad expression. It's so like Prim to want to help. She's was born to be a healer and give out help to others in need. She's a good person, but that can also be a curse. She'll be in danger. This is probably what breaks my mother. Losing another person she loves. That's what will break me.

My mother wipes her eyes. She speaks more calmly. Her voice is no longer strict. "I know Prim. You want to help, but you'll be in danger. I don't like the thought of you being in the middle of battle."

"Katniss has gone to other districts." She comments. My mother gives me a look.

"Yes, I went to the other districts, but they told me they needed it for the war effort. They told me the same story, and told me I would be safe. Their words were obviously broken when I got shot." I say.

"You volunteered for it. You knew what you were getting into," Prim counters.

"Well yes, but I should have never gone, well because… I'm pregnant." The last words I say softer than the rest.

"Well, I'm perfectly fine for going. I know what I'm getting into." She says. She looks to my mother. "And mother please, you need to let me help. I will take all the precautions you tell me, and avoid being in any actual fighting." My mother looks sadly at my sister. "It's my obligation to go. I'm a healer like you, and this is what we do. I know it was wrong for me to say yes without telling you, but please understand that it's what I want to do. I comprehend what I'm agreeing to."

My mother walks to the dresser and looks to the wedding of picture of her and my father. She thinks for a moment and then turns to look at me, and then to my sister.

"You can go," she says. My sister gives a small smile of gratitude and walks over to my mother to hug her. I, on the other hand, don't really understand why she agreed to it. She's always protective of us. How did my father convince her to say yes?

Prim breaks away from my mother and goes into the bathroom to wash up. My mother takes off her hospital things and puts them in a drawer.

"Why?" I ask. "How come you're letting her go?"

My mother lets down her hair and then looks to me. "Prim acts on good reasons. She's a good person, and it's hard to believe that such a person can be taken away so abruptly. It's what she wants to do. It would be what your father would want to do. Sadly, I can't protect you girls all of the time, and in times like this it best to just trust. I trust Prim."

I understand what she's saying, but I still worry. I doubt my mother isn't still worrying too, but clearly she has set her mind. Hopefully, she'll continue to think that way.

After everyone has had their turn to shower, I offer Prim to braid her hair. She accepts. I sit behind her on the bed and begin to move her blonde waves of hair into a practical braid.

"So this might be ideal, for you know, going outside and working," I say. "Your hair down is gorgeous, but it will probably get in your face and stuff."

"Alright, Katniss," she says with a smile.

"It just a suggestion, but if you don't want to look like me, then I understand." I say jokingly.

Prim laughs. "Of course I'd like to look like my big sister." She says sarcastically.

"Alright, but you can't copy everything." I add. Then I see my mother smiling. She's probably trying to put away the thought of Prim leaving. That's what I'm doing. "There," I say. "You're beautiful now."

Prim giggles, because she remembers saying the same thing to me. My mother walks to the dresser and holds up a container. "Katniss, you haven't taken your vitamins."

"Oh, I'll do that now." I slide off the bed and swallow my vitamins. I sit on the bed and notice my mother watching me. "What?"

"I was just wondering," she says. "What plans do you have for after the baby is born?"

"Uh, well… I'm not totally sure. Peeta and I will probably talk a-"

She interrupts me. "Do your plans include marriage?"

I freeze. "Um… I don't know. I'd-"

She interrupts me again. "I think we should consider getting you two married before the baby comes. It only seems natural. Peeta is doing better, right?"

"Uh, yes. He still gets those attacks sometimes, but he's as normal as he'll ever be. We talked a little about stuff, and it was perfectly normal today. Prim was there."

"Well good, but you both must start talking about your plans. You need to start making preparations for the baby now, or then you'll find yourself not ready, and become tangled in your unpreparedness. Maybe I should speak to him." She says. "We should appoint a time where all of us can talk about what is needed and…"

She keeps talking and talking. I get how important it is, but this is all overloading in my head. This new sudden interest in planning is a distraction from the heart-ache she feels. Psychologist Katniss knows what's going on with her mother, but not in her own head. I turn to look at Prim and she shrugs. She's just as confused of what's going through my mother's head.

"… You'll need to finish that book that Dr. Odessa gave you. I'm sure you haven't read that much, have you? It's fine, because we still have time and I'll teach you how to change a diaper and how to breast feed. I'll show you-"

Ugh. "What?" I say, like I barely realized my mother was talking to me. My mother rolls her eyes.

"Yes I understand it's a lot, but better to be prepared." She says.

"Katniss is getting married!" Prim suddenly says. That's probably all she got from what my mother said in her soliloquy.

I nudge her with my elbow. "Quiet, you," I say. "Go to sleep, you duck." Prim smiles and gets into the covers. I get under the blankets and lay on my side. My mother does the same.

"Good night girls," my mother says yawning. I lay on my side and fluff my thin pillow a bit. Prim is going. She's going to the Capitol. Where I just saw people get blown up by bombs. _Stop thinking about it! You're just making it harder for yourself. _Yeah, I might be, but it's reality.

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><p><strong><em>Oh no, not Prim. I can't say what happens in this story. It's a 5050 chance she'll live, or... you know, die. In the book, I was pretty sad when she died, but I also thought, the story can't be all good and happy. With a war comes some heart ache. On the other hand, it would be sweet for Prim to see her niece or nephew. That would be a nice scene, but... I don't know. Thanks for reading!_**

**_-cheezebuns (^_^)(^_^) _**


	22. Chapter 22

_**This is a long and eventful chapter. This where we turn straight to unknown territory, as in, most of the stuff (events) will not be totally supported by Mockingjay, because Kantniss wasn't pregnant and stuff... Here comes "originality"! I hope you like it.**_

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><p>Chapter 22<p>

So Prim is leaving in the evening. It's the only hovercraft leaving today, and it seems the doctor administrators want her on it. My mother asked about the possibility of joining them, but they said that she's needed here and they think I shouldn't be alone. Ugh. I never get tired of hearing that.

My doctor is one of the few that is staying. I'm given a notice of an appointment around noon. I'm pretty far along now. I'm more than halfway there. I keep assuring myself that my bump isn't noticeable, but I'm starting to realize that I'm _getting kind of huge_, like how Johanna put it. No random person has come up to congratulate me, so either they don't notice, or they pity me.

Prim, my mother, and I grab our breakfast from the line, and then find a table in a corner. That's the way I like it; right in the corner, away from everyone. I sit across my sister and mother sits to the left of her. I notice the food here has been getting better. Since the agriculture district went on the rebel side, we've been receiving shipments. Today, it's egg and fruit. It could be powdered egg, but I don't care. It's still better tasting than what we had before.

"Katniss! Hi!" I haven't seen you in awhile." I look to see Delly. She looks different. She lost her chubbiness, and her face isn't as round. Her straight blonde hair is in a ponytail.

"Hi Delly, how've you been?" I ask. Good, this normal conversation.

"I'm good," she says. "Oh, hello Ms. Everdeen and Primrose!"

She's probably the friendliest person I know. She's nice… I think. Well, I've only talk to her a few times. All I know is that she used to be Peeta's friend when we were all little. She went to go talk to him when he was barely brought here, in District 13. They thought a friend of his, that has nothing to do with me, would help him remember. I wonder where she's been.

"Hello Delly, would you like to sit with us?" asks Prim.

"Oh thank you, but I just finished. I'm going to my class with my brother."

"Oh, okay." Prim says.

"Yes, I want to get there early so we can find some good seats." She adds. "It was so nice to see you all."

"Uh, it was good to see you." I say. She walks off then waves at us when she's about to leave the Dining Hall. Then, at the entrance, I notice someone. Annie walks in and she looks lost. "I'll be right back." I say getting up from the table.

I walk over to Annie who has just gotten her breakfast. "Hi Annie," I say.

"Oh, hi Katniss,"

"Would you like to sit over with us? It's only my mother, sister and I."

"Sure, thank you." She replies.

We walk back to the table and then I introduce Annie to my mother and Prim. My sister keeps a conversation with Annie, and she acts normal. Prim asks her about stuff from District Four and then Annie asks about Twelve. It's just chit chat, but they start comparing wedding rituals and festivals they have. During the conversation, I notice my mother is thinking about something. She looks to me, when she hears "wedding".

After my first two classes, I find some time to see Peeta. I made sure to let the doctor know I was going, and then he mentions Haymitch is already there. Haymitch is there?

I get to the room and open the door. Sure enough, Haymitch leans in a chair, looking grumpy. Peeta hides a paper behind his pillow.

"I saw that." I say.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want you to see it yet." Peeta says.

I walk over next to them both. "So, you guys talking?"

"No, we were practicing our singing for a coming propo." Haymitch says sarcastically.

I pretend to go along with it. "Haymitch, I didn't know you sing!" He rolls his eyes and sighs gruffly.

"Haymitch was just informing me what's going on. You know, like in the Capitol." Peeta says.

"Yeah, there's a whole lot going on out there." I say in a low tone.

"I just heard FInnick, Gale, and Johanna went." Peeta says.

"Yeah," I say lowly.

"It's all very dandy, isn't it?" Haymitch says. "What do we do? Just sit here. I'm not complaining, though. Well, I will complain about these strict rules that this district enforces."

I know immediately, he's talking about the alcohol.

"You don't need it. This is probably the longest you've gone without it. Try staying clean." Peeta says.

"Ha! Good one." Haymitch says sarcastically. "Wow, this guy. Quite the comedian." Now I roll my eyes. "Well, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to try to break into the pharmacy for something." Haymitch gets up from his chair slowly. He walks out of the room.

"Does he really plan to drink that kind of alcohol? It would kill him." Peeta says.

"I don't think he will, but he is kind of desperate…" I say.

"Na, he'll be fine." Peeta says. I smile at his remark, but then it disappears off my face as soon as I think of what's going to happen this evening. I start thinking about my friends over in the Capitol right now.

"What's wrong?" asks Peeta

Am I really that obvious? Maybe Peeta just reads me too well. "Uh, my sister just finished her basic training, and she's going to on a hovercraft to the Capitol this evening."

"Really? They're making her go? Prim is so young. That doesn't seem right."

"Actually, the administrators asked her if she would go." I take a pause and sigh. "She said yes."

"Why does she want to go?" asks Peeta.

"She… she was just set in her mind that this how she wants to help people." I say slightly frustrated. "She's too good. She's putting herself in danger for others." I speak more solemnly.

"It sounds like someone I know." Peeta says. I tilt my head wondering who he's talking about. "I'm talking about you!"

"Me?"

"Yeah well, from what I remember, and what's been going on here in Thirteen, it sounds just like you. It's what you've been doing."

I move a hair out of my face, but it just falls in my face again. "I guess it does sound like me, but that was huge mistake on my part. I could of risked losing the baby."

Peeta tucks the hair behind my ear.

"Yes, but you weren't thinking about yourself. You were pretty much blinded with idea of you had to save others. Familiar isn't it?"

I sigh, and sit at the end of the bed. "Yup." I sound defeated. I can't stop my sister from going. I'm just going wait here, in District 13 and do nothing, but worry for the safety of everyone over in the Capitol. I brush my hands on my pants and then notice the corner of the paper sticking out from under the paper. Then, as if reading my mind, Peeta takes it from under there and puts it in a drawer.

"I wasn't-"

"Sure," He says smiling.

Then I remember about my appointment with Dr. Odessa. I look to a clock on the wall and see it's just minutes away.

"Hey Peeta, I was wondering if… you want to go my appointment with me? I mean, you don't have to go… I was just wondering if you wanted to go."

"Sure, I'll go." He says.

"Oh, good."

"Just we got to let my doctor know."

"Oh, right,"

Peeta gets up and stretches his hand to me. "We better go find him, then." I take his hand then we get out of the room. We find the doctor with other workers, and tell him where we're going. He gives us permission and then we rush to Dr. Odessa's office.

We find the doctor unlocking her door. We walk up to her and she sees me from the corner of her eye. "Just in time, Katniss," she says.

"I brought Peeta along with me." I say. She turns around, and for some reason her cheery expression dies, and then it suddenly turns into a forced polite smile. "Is it alright if he comes with me?"

"Oh, yes. It's okay," She says kind of quickly. Peeta stretches a hand out, and she kind of hesitates to shake it. "I'm Dr. Odessa," she greets him.

"Peeta Mellark," Peeta says.

"Oh, I already know who you are," she says. "Shall we get started then?"

We walk into her office and I lay down, while Peeta stands close by. Dr. Odessa begins with the same questions. I try to still answer them confidently, even I feel a little weird being asked in front of Peeta, who pretends not to be listening. After the questions, she begins preparations for the ultrasound. The monitor begins to show the image of what looks like under water in an ocean. I concentrate on the listening to the baby's heartbeat. Peeta stands closer and looks at the monitor fervently.

Dr. Odessa moves the device around my bare stomach till she gets a good image on the monitor. Peeta is in awe, and his facial expression makes me laugh. He holds on to one of my hands. He's seen the picture, but it different seeing it on the monitor. Its heartbeat echoes and it almost like it's just sleeping till he or she comes out.

Dr. Odessa keeps a professional gesture. It seems unlike her, but I don't pay too much attention to it. I'm just happy Peeta is here with me.

"Your baby is a little small for a 5 month term, but it shouldn't be of any worry. Would you like to know the gender?" she asks.

"Yes," says Peeta.

"No," I say. "I want to keep it a surprise." Peeta looks at me almost pleadingly. "We're going to wait." I say.

"Alright," he says slightly disappointed.

Dr. Odessa cleans up, and leads us into the hallway. She doesn't say much.

"Oh, when is my next appointment?" I ask before I walk off.

"Oh, let's see… I think I won't see you till next month." She says hastily.

"Okay, then. Thank you." She only nods, and doesn't say anything else. I walk off quickly to go catch up with Peeta. When we're back in the general hospital hallways, Peeta asks about my doctor.

"Does she always act like that; distant?"

"No, she's usually all happy and friendly," I reply.

"Do you think it was because I was there?"

"I'm not sure. Even when you walked off, she was still so serious. It's probably no big deal. Even super cheery people get bad days."

"True," he says. "Well, it was really great to see the ultrasound. Even though it's not really a good time for a baby, I'm still excited."

"That's great." I say.

"Are you?" he asks.

"Um, yeah. I'm excited." I say. Peeta looks at me. He can tell I'm not saying the whole truth. The fact that we're having a baby can be seen as something beautiful, but I'm still afraid. I'm afraid of the uncertainty, and what will happen to them.

Peeta puts an arm around my shoulder. "You may be letting your fear over shadow the happiness of it all, but don't worry. You'll realize that the fear is nothing in comparison to the joy that it brings. You'll know. I'm totally sure about it." He talks in a low tone. I smile up at him, and then we break apart and get back to his room in the hospital.

After a lunch and a few hours of classes, my mother and I help Prim with her bag of some belongings she'll take aboard the hovercraft. Here we are again, in the Hangar, saying good-bye. It seems like it was just yesterday. Actually, it was yesterday, and already, they need to send more people to the Capitol.

My sister wears the regular gray uniform, but she has a red band on her arm to identify her as a medic. She swings the simple pack over shoulders. Her hair is in a braid down her back.

"You'll be careful," my mother says. "You only help where you're assigned, and not go off to help in the battle zones."

"Don't worry, I'll be careful," she says.

My mother hugs her tightly. "Alright, I love you," she says.

"I love you." Prim says. My mother lets go of her and Prim hugs me.

"I love you, Prim." I say.

"I love you too, Katniss," she says sincerely and breaks away.

"Hopefully, you'll come back in time before your nephew or niece is born."

"Of course!" Prim exclaims. "I want to be one of first they see. I'll be there the very minute I become an aunt."

"Alright then, you'll promise?"

"I promise," she says.

An intercom announcement tells it time for departure. Prim picks up her pack again and walks to the hovercraft. She waves at us before she enters. I wave back, wildly. My mother simply waves, and then she wipes one of her eyes. I put a hand on her shoulder and she gives me a sort of sad smile. We start walking off the road way and toward the exit. Just a few other people came to see their loved ones off. We're behind the crowd and then I notice her at the exit, and I get a chill down my spine. President Coin stands with a few pilots. My mother doesn't notice her, and she walks out, but when I'm about to step away, she puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Seeing someone off?" she asks.

"Yes, my sister." I answer toneless.

"Oh, that's right. I heard your sister got one of the highest scores on her exam, and has completed many volunteer hours at the hospital. She's very intelligent and such a selfless person."

"Yes, she is."

"I thought this mission would be perfect for her. She's emotionally strong for her age, and a very good medic."

Then I realize. Coin set this up. She got Prim to go on this mission. She's the one introduced her to the idea going to the Capitol.

"There just aren't enough medics over there, and we could use all the help we can get. We don't want to kill off the human race, so it's very important that we save as many lives as we can." She continues.

"You asked her if she would go." I say in a low, hoarse voice. I'm feeling the anger swell up inside of me.

"Actually, I recommended her for the mission, and the administrators saw her perfectly able for going," she speaks calmly, like we're discussing the weather. I have to bury the impulse to sock her in the face, or at least cuss her out. She's doing this just because I didn't go to the Capitol. Since I'm not going, she got my sister go.

President Coin steps closer to me ,till her face is just a few inches away. I see no one is here to witness. She speaks menacingly.

"Understand Katniss Everdeen, that you are not the one in charge here. You may have some influence, but not enough to be calling the shots. You interfere with my plans, you pay for it dearly. You do not want Peeta Mellark or any your friends in the Capitol to get involved, do you?"

"You can't do this." I say sternly.

"I very much will, if I have to," she says. "Also understand, what I'm doing is the best for everyone. This is not just for me. When we come out of this war, we need a strong leader to govern our ashen-turned country. I've worked and dedicated much for this future government, and I'm not going to let a pregnant, strong-headed teenager ruin it."

"I'm eighteen." I spit out.

"You are still young, and you shouldn't be let alone to make important decisions. Obviously, you make mistakes." She says looking to my slightly protruding belly.

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks, but I still feel furious. I want to slap her, here and now. She deserves it. She can't talk to me like this. She's threatening me. I just added a new enemy to my list. She's right under Snow. She's evil, and I will do anything to make sure she doesn't go into power. The only thing is, whatever I do is going to have consequences. She'll hurt the people I love because of my actions, but I can't let her do this.

"Good night," Coin says and then she leaves. I stand there till I see she's gone. _That evil hag._

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><p><strong><em>She's E-Vel! And this is not the only person who is out to get her. There is another person as well, and it could only mean... bad stuff. Yeah, not a good choice of words, but it's not Good. Next chapter in a day or two. Thanks for reading and reviews would be absolutely lovely and dandy. (I don't now what's up with my vocabulary today)<em>**

**_-cheezebuns_**


	23. Chapter 23

**_Here it is. Thank you for being patient._**

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><p>Chapter 23<p>

When I walk to the compartments, my mother finds me. We walk to our boarding cell without saying a word. The pain of my sister leaving still lingers.

My mother unlocks the door with her key and we get ready for bed. It feels different without Prim here. She's usually the one to ask about our day, and tell us about hers. My mother and I don't speak till we're both in bed.

"Good night," she says exhausted.

"Good night," I reply.

I turn on my side facing the wall. Prim not sleeping next to me is unfamiliar now. I blink in the darkness for my eyes to adjust, as if she might appear there somehow. I bring the other pillow against me and exhale to relax. It seems impossible. I take deep breaths and close my eyes tightly. Two hours later, I'm still not asleep and I lay on my back. I sigh and push the pillow against my face while I grunt in frustration. I stare at the ceiling intently. Instead of seeing a canvas being painted with good things, I start daydreaming about Snow and Coin being dead. I start to imagine what my life would be like. It's so unrealistic… or maybe it isn't. I try to turn off my thoughts and fluff my pillow to try another attempt at falling asleep. At least a few hours; five would be great.

The next day is a bore. I have breakfast and then go to some classes. During the Lunch Period, I tell myself I'm not hungry, and think of something else to do. During the day Peeta has therapy, so I can't visit him now. I go visit Beetee till I think I can't handle it anymore. Watching scenes of the war going on isn't me making me feel better about Prim being there. I find Plutarch and Fulvia in the studio and see them viewing some footage sent from the film crew.

"We got some new stuff!" says Fulvia excitedly.

"We'll make sure to order all the footage by date," says Plutarch.

"Of course!" she says. She goes to a computer and moves files and files of footage to different folders.

"Are you editing them?" I ask. They both turn around, suddenly realizing I'm there.

"We'd like to, but we would like to see everything before we start putting our project together," says Plutarch.

"The footage we get, we view, and then organize. We want to arrange things by settings and time," says Fulvia.

"So you watch all the video?" I ask.

"Yes we do," she answers.

"And what have you seen so far? Are bombs and traps going off? Do any of them get hurt?"

"Well, from what we've seen, even the back lines are getting some attacks. They were only to go through deserted streets with pods still active. They're filming mostly in those streets, but I have seen some video of an actual battle, which means they're close to it," says Plutarch

"Has there been any news of casualties or deaths?" I ask hastily.

"There has, but not from anyone in our squad," he answers. "We lose quite a few each day, but District 13 has sent more doctors and nurses to help. Hopefully, the rebels can get into the mansion and capture Snow. Till then, we're still going to see casualties."

"Snow's not going to go peacefully. He'll take all the lives he possibly can before he's taken out." I say solemnly.

"That may be true, but they're working very hard to find him. I'm sure they'll take extra precautions to save more injured people. We catch him, we save lives. We got most of our forces on his capture so we can win this war," he says. "Let's just be optimistic, alright?"

I shrug. I just can't shake the feeling.

"Let's review what we just got, shall we?" says Fulvia. She clicks on an icon, and a window appears with a scene of a street. The camera turns around and I see them. FInnick, Johanna, Boggs, Gale, and a few others I don't know. The camera films from behind them, while they walk steadily down the street, looking to windows and roofs. Boggs holds a hand up and they all stop. He gestures for the soldier next to him to shoot a pod. The man fires his gun and it goes off.

Bullets begin to fire from the pod. Bullets are shooting everywhere, but the squad was expecting it, and they all bunker behind cars and walls. The camera zooms in on Finnick who fires back at the pod. Once the pod stops, everyone gathers in the middle of the street and continues to walk on. A close in of Gale and Boggs, shows him telling to activate the next pod. Gale does not shoot it like I'd suspect. He runs toward it, and then it activates. I grab my wrist tightly. A fan of fire assembles and begins to spin. I see Gale do a sort of somersault and he dodges the ring of fire. When Gale gets up, I realize I have been holding my breath and quickly suck the air back into my lungs.

"They know where the pods are and what they do, right?" I ask.

"Yes, Boggs has the Holo. They know exactly what they're up against, and that makes good footage," says Plutarch.

"They're doing quite well. With all this footage we've been getting, it might mean calling back to camp early." Fulvia says.

"You think so?" I ask.

"Sure," says Fulvia. "We won't need them to go into battle anymore. Maybe we'll have it ready to air by the time we achieve victory."

Looking back at the screen, I see they aren't acting anymore. Messalla continues to film, but it seems like they're taking a break. Boggs refers to his Holo. I see Pollux holding another camera, from his insect shell. Finnick talks to a man I hear him call Mitchell and then another man named Homes. There are twin sisters, but I only know one of their names; Leeg. I'm trying to remember their names, so I know these people when they come back. They're in a war, and the least I could do is remember their names.

There stands a middle-aged woman next to Johanna. I ask Plutarch who she is, and he tells me her name is Jackson. She's Bogg's second in command. She's looks tough, but I admit, the way she points her gun and walks, appears sluggish. Plutarch tells me she's is the very best at shooting. He says it's because of her farsightedness, as she says.

"This is the last hour of footage for today," says Plutarch. He plays it and we see a different street. It's late afternoon, from what I can tell. The team continues to activate assigned pods and dodge their attacks. They shoot other things, so it appears to whoever is watching that they do not have a Holo. They come across a corner and just when Boggs is to make a sign to the team, a shot is fired and a pod activates. It's not one of the assigned pods as I can tell from the look of Boggs' worried expression. Scatters of metal darts fly in every direction. I grip tightly to a chair and watch as the barely visible darts fly into one of the twins' head and another into Johanna's shoulder.

"No!" I shout. Fulvia grasps one of my shoulders to calm down. On the screen, the woman falls to the ground and Johanna stumbles. It appears everyone else has found cover, until the camera shifts and falls to the ground, viewing the street on its' side. Whoever was holding that camera is either badly injured or dead.

The camera films just minutes more of the team shouting and running to aid the fallen soldiers. The sister runs to kneel beside her twin. Medics are called for and they hastily get to the sides of Johanna, and who ever held the camera. They check Leeg's sister's pulse, and she is pronounced dead. The camera is brought upright, and then turned off. The screen goes black.

"She died." I say softly. Fulvia and Plutarch have worried looks on their faces and they don't say anything. "What about the person holding the camera?"

Plutarch looks to a smaller screen. "It appears only one of them were pronounced dead today."

I shake my head. "Who was it that got injured, from the film crew?"

"Messalla," he answers.

"Oh," I muffle. He was Cressida's assistant. I just saw him the other day. "They have to get out of there."I say in a low tone.

"That's not an option right now. They've been assigned a mission, and they can't leave till it's accomplished," says Plutarch. "It appears it got out of hand for a second, but that doesn't mean they can just leave." I sigh in frustration. "They'll finish probably before the third day. Then they'll be sent back to camp."

I pace around the room, and then I lean on a table behind Fulvia.

"We should call it a day…" she says. "Maybe tomorrow they'll have some new footage to replace… this," she says tiredly.

"Wait, just not yet. It appears President Coin is on her way here," Plutarch reads off the small screen.

Coin is coming here. She'll want to know how they're doing and see some of the footage. She'll see the video of the member of Squad 451 die. It probably wouldn't affect her much. She's pretty heart-less.

Within in few minutes, she arrives with some important looking officials. Her minions, I'm guessing. She gives me eye contact with a grave face, and then walks over to Fulvia and Plutarch.

"How's the project coming along?" she asks.

"Well, we received some good footage, along with some disturbing." Says Plutarch

"What do you mean?"

"A member of Squad 451 was killed in an accident, and it was shown on camera."

"Will you please show us," It's more like a command, less like a question.

Plutarch brings up the window of it, and it is fast forward to the start of the accident. Being replayed, I see it was the deceased sister that shot the pod. Coin watches it with discountenance, and the two people she brought along watch it as well. I don't watch the video, but the expression of Coin and the other two. When the video ends she looks to Plutarch.

"That's what happens when somebody is not paying attention. It's is very unfortunate. You might want to keep this video, so that we can display what horror the Capitol is causing." Coin says. "We'll make sure to send in a replacement."

"Who are you thinking about sending?" asks Fulvia.

Coin puts a hand to her chin and thinks. "The team is composed of mostly Tribute Victors, so what about Peeta Mellark?"

Everyone is facing the screen, their backs to me. Coin doesn't see me restrict my hands from meeting her neck.

"I don't think he is in condition to be going," says Plutarch. "He's still staying in the hospital."

"I see," she says. "I'll ask his doctor about it, tomorrow. If he can't go, we'll find someone else." She walks out without meeting my glare. Her minions follow her out. Plutarch and Fulvia start shutting things down, and gathering papers.

"You should start going to your boarding cell," says Plutarch. I get up from the table. "Don't worry, Katniss. He's in no shape to be going. The doctor wouldn't let him go."

I nod and walk out of the room.

I have dinner with my mother, and then after, I go with her to the hospital. She puts away papers in filing cabinets and I help dispose of used gloves and stuff. She wipes down a sink, and then organizes jars of bandages and things. I see a drawer slightly out, and I'm about to push it in, when I see something familiar. I pull it out and look at the cover of the book. It's the book my mother uses to record different types of plants, herbs, and their capabilities. The time before the Quarter Quell, Peeta and I added some plants to it.

"It's here," I say. My mother turns around, to see what I'm talking about. "I remember taking it from District 12, but I sort of forgot about it." I flip through some of the pages till I reach the ones Peeta drew. The thick, slightly wrinkled paper reminds me so much of the time before the Quarter Quell.

"Yes, I brought it here so it could help me with remedies for treating patients. I'm taking very good care of it." she says with a small smile.

I close the book and put it delicately back in the drawer. There's a knock on the door, and it makes me jump. My mother goes over to open it. There stands Dr. Odessa with a small container of capsules.

"Hello, Ms. Everdeen. I just wanted to drop these off for Katniss." She looks behind my mother and sees me. "Hello, Katniss. I have some new supplements for you to start taking."

"New supplements?" my mother questions.

"Yes, it's for the child development. The past few appointments, I noticed the baby was a little for small for her term. These are not very strong, and they should help with the baby's growth. It's all natural." Dr. Odessa says.

She hands them to my mother. "I think it's best if she takes these before she goes to sleep. She has to wait a few hours before taking any other vitamins."

My mother examines them, and nods. Dr. Odessa gives a smile, and then leaves. My mother tosses them to me. "Why haven't you told me about this from your appointment?"

"Well, she said it wasn't a big deal." I reply. My mother sighs and we start leaving the hospital. We walk up a flight of stairs and go down a hallway till we reach Compartment E. Reaching our boarding cell, my mother unlocks the door and we step inside. After we shower, I'm trying to dry my hair as best as I can. My mother puts a cup of water and the capsules on the drawer.

"Don't forget," she says. Then she walks to her bed and gets under the covers. "Goodnight."

"Good night," I say. After a few minutes, I quietly go to our drawer and pull out the little things I hid in the parachute. Carefully avoiding Buttercup on the floor, I sit back on the bed, next to a small light. I hold each item in front of it, trying to remember all the details. That book was almost forgotten, even though it's so very important to my family. I just don't want to lose these things forever.

I get up, and put back the things in the drawer. I swallow the supplement, and take a drink of water. I decide to just sit on the bed so my hair continues to dry.

Coin's attempt at making Peeta go to the Capitol, makes me angry. She can't, and if she could, I wouldn't let her. Anyway, the doctor will definitely say he's not well enough. Why is she so worried about what I do? Coin is just another Snow, and I hate her dearly.

Suddenly I feel odd. The anger quickly subsides and I feel hazy. I get up slowly and grab one of the supplements. I hold it up against the small light, and notice a liquid substance inside of them. It's gel-like, almost syrup-like. I remember they were slightly sweet going down my throat. Then I recognize it; sleep syrup. It's the kind I gave to Peeta, during our first Hunger Games. Why would Dr. Odessa give me this and lie about it?

While trying to fight the lethargy of it, I try to walk over to wake up my mother. My muscles begin to feel weak. This sleep syrup is stronger than I thought. I'm losing consciousness and I fall back unto my bed. I'm sitting against the side of it, when I hear distant turning of the knob and see the door slightly open. Dark silhouettes block the light form the hallway. That's all I see before I go under.

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><p><em><strong>OH NO! itty bitty cwiff anger. And Dr. O is a backstabber.<strong>_

_**Little t**__**hanks to silent rider7, Browniangel, pirate-princess1, jesuschick13, Phoenix Refrain, Loud Avox for your multiple reviews. I forgot to mention! Thanks iluvtheboywiththebread for the threat. I 'm really considering what will happen in the story. I'm considering it more. E Salvatore- your review very informative and it really gives an idea what I should continue doing with the story. Thanks to everyone... else.**_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Busy. I've been incredibly busy. It's been so long, but it's here. Hopefully, the next chapters will be uploaded within 2-3 days. **_

_**Now, the chapter to follow the itty bitty cwiff anger. (yes i was kidding about that, last chapter) Happy reading!**_

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><p>Chapter 24<p>

In my subconscious, it's a nightmare that never ends; I can't wake up from it. Memories dreamt, are given disturbing qualities. Other dreams are all about the war.

I dream I'm being held in the Capitol and I'm trying to fight my way free, but it's no use. Then, I watch as all my friends die; Gale is shot in the head, Finnick dies of poisonous gas, and Johanna drowns in a street flood. Prim is off in the distance of a battle, but before I can reach her, she gets blown up by bomb. I'm starting to question if it's a dream. It could all be real, but I'm too lethargic to stop any of it.

As I slowly wake up, I feel I can't move. Restraints? Maybe it's sleep paralysis. A group of people, concealed in shadows, surround me. It looks like we're in a high ceiling hospital room, with rows of other beds. The only thing is a see a huge dark wave of water rushing in to flood the room. I'm shouting to alert them of the wave, but they seem not to care.

I'm trying to get free from my restraints, and I'm still shouting, when I feel the wave crash onto me. The shadowed people are gone with the wave, and I still fight my restraints. I can't hold my breath for any longer, and then I'm drowning. I feel the water fill up my lungs. It's not a good feeling. I close my eyes tightly waiting to die, but I don't.

When I open my eyes, I see I'm in a plain, white, regular room. It looks like a hospital room, but there are no machines. Only the bed I'm in and a chair beside me. I look down to find restraints all over me, but there are only cuffs at my wrists. The small relief diminishes, while I begin to panic. I may not be dead, but I'm still somewhere were I'm not supposed to be.

I remember being drugged, and people coming into our boarding cell. I must have been kidnapped, but what about my mother? I didn't get the chance to wake her up. Was she kidnapped too? Or what if she's… dead? The thought makes my breathing uneasy. I hate being in the dark. I need some answers from somebody.

I look to the wall on my left and I see a large mirror. It's not a mirror, from what I can figure out. A large mirror is not useful in a room like this. It's a window like in Peeta's room, meaning there are people behind it. Whoever is on the other side is behind all of this. I start shouting toward window, even though they may not be able to hear me. I pull on the cuffs repeatedly till my wrists are red and raw. I kick for a bit, but then I start to get tired, and just lay back and give up.

It seems like an hour goes by, and still no answers. Then another hour goes by. As from what it feels like. Who knows, maybe it's been days. I stare at the ceiling to keep from thinking what's really could be happening right now. My mother and my friends could all be dead. Whoever brought me here must have been from the Capitol, which means District 13 could be breached. What about Dr. Odessa? Was she a spy for the Capitol this whole time?

Maybe she felt guilt when I had that last appointment. That would explain her distance. She was unable to act happy and cheery, because of what she had to do. Bringing Peeta along added to her guilt. She was just another person who was working for the Capitol. Maybe she didn't really care about me. She just acted nice, because it was her cover. I hate her for letting me trust her.

Another, what feels like, hour goes by. I feel tired, despite all the sleep I should have gotten from being drugged. I'm afraid of falling asleep, because who knows what they'll do to me while I'm asleep. Also, I don't want to go into sleep paralysis and start hallucinating again.

I get this feeling of anxiety. Am I still pregnant? I look down at my stomach and slowly pull the covers off. There it is; the bulge of the baby. I'm relieved to see it there, but then I fill with dread with the thought of these people knowing I'm pregnant. I just want these people to come and tell me what's going on. What do they plan to do? I don't care how bad it is. I just want to know what it is, or all be left to imagine the worst.

I think about another hour later, I hear the door being opened. I'm bracing myself, even though I may know who it already is. The door opens, and while I was expecting Snow, it's actually my lovely doctor from Thirteen.

I keep my emotions inside, and keep a stern expression. She walks over with an IV drip and expression of discountenance. She puts it beside my bed, while she avoids my gaze. She rubs my arm with alcohol, and is about to insert the needle, when she holds on to my arm to stop me from moving. I don't budge, and while she inserts it I speak up.

"You were never in the District's 13's army, were you?" my voice sounds dry from the yelling.

She keeps her gaze down at my arm. "I was. I was transferred to Thirteen when I was young, along with others," she says in a low tone. I guess she doesn't want the people behind the glass to see her talking with me. I have to ask her something.

"Has District 13 been taken?" She continues bandaging the IV in my arm.

"No it hasn't," she says in a whisper. "But they're planning to." With that, she gets up and leaves.

There are so many questions I still have, but I won't get any answer to any of them. All I can think about is all the people in Thirteen. What would Coin do? Most of the district's military is here, in the Capitol. At least that's where I think "here" is. It seems the Capitol is for taking District 13, so they don't want to completely destroy something they want to acquire. I wonder if they'll try using bombs again. It brings me back to the memory of it.

Another noise is heard from outside the door. I hear speaking then, a hand turns the knob. In comes President Snow in all his glory, and a pair of peacekeepers. He has a sly smile on his face I want to slap off. I return the same smile, he laughs at my imitation.

"I hope you didn't mind the process of bring you here. Wait, I'm sure you don't remember, so there is nothing to mind." He says in his low hoarse voice. The rose in his front pocket is making me nauseous. I don't speak and keep eye contact. I'm not afraid of this man.

"Oh, and congratulations," He adds. "We found out you were expecting, just when you did. It was quite a surprise, but nonetheless a wonderful thing."

"Dr. Odessa was your spy," I say more like a comment, not a question.

"Yes, along with others," He pulls the chair a little farther from my bed, and sits down. "Who would have thought that your doctor would be one of our spies? It was luck on our part. We didn't plan that."

"Lucky you," I say sarcastically.

"And now that you're here, we plan to take advantage of your visit." He says it casually, like I chose this.

"How?" I say sternly.

"Don't worry, it won't be for long. You just do a few things for us, and then you'll be out of this for good." _You'll be out of this for good _is dead, I'm assuming.

"Well thank you, but what if I decline?" I say.

He moves closer. The blood on his breath makes me gag. His snake-like eyes stare straight at me.

"You won't decline. You would like to see your mother again, wouldn't you?"

I look straight at him, and study his expression. His posture is stiff, while he shouldn't be too worried if I'm cuffed. He continues with his sly smile, but it looks like the rest of his face is frowning.

"You're lying. You don't have her." I say.

He looks slightly taken back, but then slightly grins. "Good guess. She's not here. She escaped for her own good," he says. "But, you should've played along. We can't hold you with your own life, so I guess we'll resort to your child's."

I was afraid of this. Of course he would use it against me. If he just took my life, then we'd both be dead. He wants to kill the baby and leave me. They'll continue to use me for the Capitol's side. How do you go on, when there's a life inside you and it's just cruelly taken away?

"You'll do what we tell you," he says. "First thing, you should get ready for your televised showing. They'll make you more presentable and conceal that bump or yours."

I don't say anything, and watch as he leaves the room. I make my hands into a fist and pull on the cuffs with all my force. The cuff cut into my wrists and I give up and lay my head back. If they televise my capture, then it would only mean to stall the rebellion. That's the most they could do with me, right? Coin wouldn't risk much for my rescue. I wouldn't let them stop their task of taking the Capitol for my sake.

But the people would. They see me as something in important in this. It started with the flowers for Rue, the berries, the speech in District 11 on the Victory Tour, the fighting in the war, the speech in District 2 after blowing up the Peacekeepers' HQ. If I die, then I would be some kind of martyr and people would fight for that, but the only thing is, Snow won't kill me. He wants them to see he has me alive. All I can do is go along with Snow's plan till I find a plan to kill myself somehow.

The door opens, and in comes Dr. Odessa with peacekeepers. She injects something into my IV, and it immediately makes me feel hazy. She walks out of the room, while the peacekeepers detach the cuffs from the bed. They grab hold of my arms and walk me out of the room roughly.

The hallway is a plain gray, with multiple white doors with little windows on each. I can't help but think if this is where Peeta, Annie, and Johanna were kept. We reach the end of the hall and go in an elevator. My perception is clouded, so I can't see what floor we're at.

We go down a more decorated hallway and into a room. A group of serious looking stylists turn their heads when they hear us come in. They're absolutely silent. They're nothing at all like my stylists.

"She's been drugged?" asks a man.

"Yes," answers the peacekeeper.

"Over here please," says a woman in a serious tone. The peacekeepers lift me by my arms and put me standing on a platform. The peacekeepers stand aside and the stylists put makeup on me. My hair is washed, combed, and blow-dried. They brush it and leave it down. Another stylist puts a sort of corset thing around my waist. They tighten it so much, that I let out a yelp of pain. It only reduces the bulge some and it makes it a little more difficult to breathe.

"It still shows some, but it won't be noticeable in the dress," says the male stylist. A dress is put over my shoulders. Through my blurry perception, I see it's black, empire waist, and ends at my knees. It's good for concealing a not-supposed-to-be-pregnant rebellion symbol. The female stylist holds my face in her hand. Her fingers dig into my face, and I want to pull away, but it's useless. She holds tighter and puts a light pink gloss on my lips. She finally lets go, but some peacekeepers hold me by the arms again, and take me off the platform. My perception is slowly coming back, and I then I see myself in a mirror. Concealed and simple. They don't want to overdress their enemy.

I'm pushed along down the hallway and into the elevator. I see we stop at the second lowest floor. The button for the lowest floor is only labeled with a letter _D_. It could mean _dungeons, _where I'm assuming I'm being held. The doors slide open and we're in front of double doors. A peacekeeper shoves them open with one arm, and pushes me in with the other.

It's a large room with a stage. Around the stage are rows of seats. The set on the stage I recognize from Peeta's interview. The left half is where Peeta was interviewed by Claudias. The other half is higher set. On it, is a podium with the Capitol seal. It's where Snow was televised with Peeta when he gave out the plans of the bombing. Behind the podium is a huge screen showing the seal over a map of Panem. I'm led down the aisle of chairs and then pushed to walk the steps to the stage. They sit me down in a smooth leather loveseat. They tell me to stay there and be quiet, but I don't understand where everyone else is.

"Where's Snow?" I ask the peacekeeper.

"Don't worry about it," he says rudely. I stay seated and survey the room for exits, other peacekeepers, and possible obstacles from escaping. Ten minutes later, the double door open and in comes Snow along with a crowd of others. The film crew sets up and lights up the stage. A man comes up and hands me a paper.

"What's this?" I ask, my voice is still slightly scratchy.

"You're lines," answers Snow. "You will not say much. They'll be displayed on a screen and you'll read them off, just as they're put. You make them believe what you're saying. You don't do well enough, you lose it." He walks away and takes his position behind the podium. A pair of important looking officials takes stances behind him. He's given some makeup by a stylist and he waves her away. I skim the paper quickly and notice it's calling for a cease fire. Still? Isn't a little late for that? I continue to read and see there's a part where I announce that I join the Capitol. How am I going to make _this_ sound believable?

A man hooks a small microphone to my dress and then cameras are pointing at me and Snow. Snow will make an announcement of my capture, and speak about the rebellion. The cameras will film me say my lines, and then Snow will dismiss with a final word. Doesn't sound too hard.

Wrong. My breathing is quick and my arms shake. I try to keep still and calm, but my heart starts palpitating and it causes the baby inside of me to kick. I'm not ready, but nonetheless the director says it; _Action._

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><p><strong><em>So, next chapter will be another POV. I wanted the story all in Katniss' POV, but then we wouldn't know what's going on back in 13. So I'm going try that out...<em>**

**_-cheezebuns_**


	25. Chapter 25

**_I really hope I got Peeta's view right. I'll let you guys be the judge. Happy reading._**

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><p>(POV CHANGE)<p>

Run. Run. Run. It's all that I can tell myself to ignore everything else. I can't stop to catch my breath, and my heart is beating at its max. They're after me, those mutts made to look like the dead tributes. My whole body aches with pain, but I force myself to keep going. It's funny when you're in pain; another pain makes the last one seem almost bearable. That's exactly what it feels like when a sword is punctured into my leg.

I fall to the ground. I hear the growls and moans of the mutts behind me, but that's not what keeps my attention. I look for my attacker, and instead of Cato standing over me, it's Katniss. Her face is stern and emotionless. She holds the sword above her head about to give the final blow to kill me. Time seems to freeze.

_This is what she wants, for you to die. She hates you, and only wants to hurt you in every possible way. She killed your family and destroyed your home. _

Time starts again. Her sword comes down, but I turn on my side, barely missing it. She pulls it out of the ground, and I get up. I limp away from her, and then I notice she's not following me, but the mutts still are. I don't know how long I continue to limp along. Soon, the mutts' moans and growls diminish and I'm left trying to catch my breath.

Just when I thought I was safe, something is stabbed right through me, and I see that's it was Katniss. I look at my chest and see the sword protruding through it. She pulls it out, and kicks me off balance. I fall backwards, watching the satisfaction in her cold gray eyes. She killed me.

I suddenly open my eyes to the lights, and immediately close them from the brightness. It gives me a headache, but I blink several times till my eyes adjust. My throat is dry and I see that from the EKG machine, my heart is still beating pretty fast. I grab the cup of water on a table beside me, and drown it all. I sit up, and in perfect timing, the doctor comes in.

"Nightmare again?" he asks.

"More like nigh terror, but I didn't kill anyone in this one," I say, my voice dry. "But _she_ killed me."

The doctor nods. "Those thoughts shouldn't recur as much with your treatment," he says. "You haven't had an attack lately, which is a sign of improvement." He walks over beside the bed and takes a small light and shines it in my eyes. "Normal…" he looks to the EKG. "That will soon be at a normal rhythm."

"Am I going to have therapy all day, today?" I ask. I really hope not. I do want to get better, but all yesterday I didn't talk to anyone except my therapist. My therapist is a nice guy and all, but he isn't Katniss.

"You're scheduled a session between zero, nine hundred and ten hundred," he replies.

"Alright," I say. "Can I have breakfast in the dining hall?"

"Yes, but let me call a guard."

"Is it necessary?"

"We still have to be cautious," he says.

"Okay, I understand."

The doctor leaves the room, and I dress in the gray clothes. It's six AM, so there must be half of the people of 13 in the dining hall. The doctor comes back with a guard, but when the guard brings out the cuffs, the doctor waves them away. "He doesn't need them."

When I enter the dining hall, I immediately look for Katniss, but I don't see her. I grab a tray and look around again, but still no sign of her. She could be late, but I notice her mother isn't here either and she works at the hospital, so she has to eat early.

I sit at a table and slowly eat breakfast to stall the guard from telling we have to go back to the room. I scan the room for familiar faces. I don't see anyone, until Delly just so happens to be standing right behind me and shouts my name.

"Peeta!"

I turn around in my seat. "Hi Delly,"

"Did I scare you?" she asks teasingly.

"I've seen a lot of scary stuff, you'll have to better than that."

"Don't worry, next time I'll get you," she says. She takes a seat opposite of me with her tray. "So how have you been feeling?"

"Okay. How are you, Delly?"

"I'm pretty good. My brother and I help out in the Agriculture Room, and it really beautiful there. They grow all type of vegetable plants that flower, and well you know. I think it's beautiful."

"Sounds great," I say

"It's hard work, but we haven't been pushed too hard recently, because of the shipments."

"So you just work there because you want to?"

"Well yes! I lo-" she stops speaking and her smile dims down. I'm about to ask what's wrong, when a stiff hand grabs one of my shoulders. I turn around and see Haymitch.

"Long time no se-" I begin.

"Hold the pleasant talk for later, we need you in Command," he says.

"What's going on? Why do they want me in Command?" I ask.

"Well if you go, then you'll find out," he says.

I turn toward Delly, and see she looks concerned. I get up and grab my tray. "I'll talk to you later Delly." She nods and gives me a small smile. I return my tray. Haymitch walks oddly beside me. "What about the guard?" I ask.

"Don't worry about him. He knows," Haymitch replies.

"And I don't."

"You'll see when you get there," he says again. The tone of his voice has some urgency and anxiety in it. Whatever it is, it's not good. The first thing that comes up in my mind; it has something to do with Katniss.

"What am I walking into, Haymitch? I'd like to not walk in blind folded, if you know what I mean."

He sighs gruffly. "Katniss, that's what it's about." That's all he says, so I'm left to think what it could be. Did she get into trouble? Is she hurt? Why am I being brought to Command? I wasn't part of any of the missions and meetings she was in. I haven't done anything since I got here.

We enter Command, and we take seats at a large table. Some of these people I don't recognize. All I know is Beetee. I look to the expression of the people here for clues of what's going on. They all seem to know, except me.

In enters President Coin with a man and a woman who appear to be generals of the rebellion army, and then Ms. Everdeen follows in. She looks me in the eyes and then looks away. From the hurt in her eyes, I can see she's clearly upset. This isn't good.

President Coin takes a seat at the head of the table. Ms. Everdeen sits in the seat opposite of me.

"We're all here because of the disappearance of Katniss Everdeen." President Coin starts.

"Disappearance?" I say apprehensively. I look to Haymitch and then to Ms. Everdeen, who returns a sad look to me.

Coin continues. "Around eleven hundred hours last night, unidentified persons broke into Ms. Everdeen's boarding cell, and abducted Katniss. She appeared to have taken some pills that were thought to be for her health, but were actually later indentified to be a strong type of sleep syrup. The group was armed. They took one of the unauthorized hovercrafts and left District 13 with the help of a traitor. We have our list of suspects: one of our pilots, Keeve Salves; technician specialist, Hennie Erodes; soldiers Tyre Mills, and Eko Mills; and Dr. Quiri Odessa, who happens to be Katniss' doctor."

"I was well acquainted with her. She didn't seem like that kind of person. She was a very caring doctor. How couldn't I see she was a spy?" Ms. Everdeen mumbles dismally.

"It alright Ms. Everdeen, we had no knowledge that she was working for the Capitol. Many of our suspects have been citizens of District 13 for many years. This was obviously set up very long ago. The Capitol suspected our plan of rebellion. It's good that none of them were in our confidential planning."

I can tell by the look of Ms. Everdeen's look of slight irritation, she doesn't like President Coin. Wasn't she the one that told Kantiss to go on those missions?

"Do we know where they took her?" I ask.

"All of our hovercrafts have tracking devices, so yes, we do know. It's easy to suspect that she's being held in Snow's Mansion."

I feel absolute dread. They took her. They took her _there_. I don't want to imagine what they could they possibly doing to her right now. She's the symbol of a rebellion that they want to put an end to. Those endless days of being tortured by them was a nightmare, but knowing what they could do to her, it's a like a worst fear coming to life. What makes it all worse is that she's in an extremely fragile condition. She can't fight for herself like before. I can't stand the thought.

I run a hand through my hair. I look to Haymitch, and he looks discouraged. He knows there's little hope. I can't be like that. I'm not going to let the feelings of possibly losing her getting in the way of getting her back.

"What is our plan?" I ask assuredly.

Coin puts her hands together on the table. "We'll put together a team for the rescue, but we won't act until we know what Snow plans to do with her."

"What? We're just going to wait?"

"If you had control of the rebellion symbol, you wouldn't want to kill her immediately," Coin adds. "They'll want to use her first, and so she'll have to be kept alive."

"What if you're wrong? What if Snow wants to just televise her execution, like what they did to Portia and the other stylists?" I immediately feel bad about saying that in front of Ms. Everdeen. I quickly mouth an apology, but she just shakes her head.

"Don't worry about it," she says softly on the brink of tears.

"No, Snow is smarter than that. He would make sure that he lets everyone know he has Katniss Everdeen held captive," she answers back.

Beetee has a hand to his chin. "Snow would keep her alive, or else he wouldn't have any hold on the rebellion," he says. "He wants to use her for something, or he wouldn't have gotten into the trouble of taking her there."

That may be true, but that doesn't mean they won't hurt her in the meantime. They probably think she is completely informed of what District 13's plans are. They'll hurt her to get intel.

"Even if he is, he could still be trying to get information out her." I say.

"What about we just assemble a team first," Coin says. "Then there will be further discussion of what to do."

"Alright, put me on the team," I say. Haymitch grips my arm and looks at me questionably.

"I'm afraid not. You're doctor has informed me that you're not in a stable condition," says Coin.

"I'm good enough," I reply.

"There is no reason for you to go. We could assemble some soldiers already in the Capitol," the general to Coin's left speaks.

"Let me join them. I've been there before. I've been in the dungeons for weeks and I have a good idea of the layout of the bottom floors."

"We could use a Holo," says Coin.

"Actually," says the other general. "The Holo only lays out the streets of the Capitol and the active pods. The only other way of finding our way in the Mansion, would be communicating with our spies, but I'm afraid we haven't had much contact with them."

"Please, I'm your best asset. The doctor told me I'm improving and that I could be out of the hospital within just a few days." I say.

I can tell Coin doesn't like to compromise, but she agrees to it. She tells me for the next two days I'll be given longer sessions of therapy and training.

Coin dismisses everyone and walks out of the room along with the generals.

"You just don't stop, do you?" says Haymitch. "But eh, how could've I suspected something different?"

"Stop what? Protecting her?" I ask. This oddly irritates me. I don't know why.

"It's a remarkable what you do for her, but it could be used against you. You know you're not as well as you used to be."

"I understand that,"

"I'd hate to see you both gone… but no matter what, you're still going, right?"

"Of course,"

"Right, you always will." He smiles sadly and then walks out.

Ms. Everdeen walks up along with Beetee. "Oh Peeta. Never did I doubt that you would do all that you could to keep her safe. I just hope you truly understand everything that could happen."

I feel sad to see her even consider that. "I know, but I wouldn't want to think about it now. Not when I'm concentrating on bringing her back." I say in a low tone. "I will bring her back. I promise."

It looks like her eyes are watering. She hugs me, and then walks down the hall toward the hospital. I think that may be the first time Ms. Everdeen showed any type of real faith in the relationship I have with Katniss. It's not just a televised show, or some kind of forced relationship we have to play along with. It's not even forced because we're having a baby. It was never forced, well, from my side it wasn't.

"You are very brave and selfless," says Beetee. "You've always been. I have total confidence that you could do it. No doubt." He says.

"Thanks Beetee."

"Have you seen the Meadow?" he asks.

That's pretty random. "Yes, Katniss showed it to me."

"I see, and pretty remarkable isn't it?"

"Yeah, looks just like the one in 12." I don't understand why he's asking me this.

"Yes. Well, I've got to go back to work. You stop by whenever you like," he says.

"Alright," I say. We walk in opposite directions, and then find Haymitch at the end of the hall, because he has to walk me back to the hospital room. A letter from Coin and a plea from me, convinces the doctor that I'm alright enough to go on the mission. In return he lengthens my therapy session for today. Good, I'll get better sooner.

After two and half hours, I'm given lunch. The portions are slightly bigger, since I won't be in a room all day. After that, I go to training.

There aren't many people, and the trainer seems out of it. He tells us what to do, and I do it with as much enthusiasm that I can. I start realize how weak I've become, and that I'm not as fast as I used to be. I lift weights and then run around a track, holding a gun. I can run pretty close to perfect with my bionic leg. Everyone watches a trainer properly dress a wound, and then a siren to announce the end of the period, sounds.

Back in the room, I sit on the bed and take the instructions on "how to properly wash your hands". I flip it over and take the pencil from its hiding place from under the pillow. _Katniss, please be okay_. I begin to draw. I start with shading the background of the drawing, and even though dandelions are drawn in black pencil, I can almost see the golden-yellow color of their petals. I'm drawing entirely from what I see in my head, and I distinctly remember the dandelion she picked up, that one day after school.

There's a knock on the door. I hide the pencil and the guard from earlier comes in.

"I'm here to escort you to Command," he says.

So soon. We were just there this morning. "Alright," I say. I put away the paper, and follow the guard out. I know it's no use asking him what's going on. It could be news of what's happening in the Capitol. I'm hoping it's good, or maybe I should at least be hoping it's not too bad.

The door slides open, with a scanner that identifies the guard. There's Coin at the head of the table. Ms. Everdeen, Haymitch, and Beetee look to see me come in, and then move their attention back to a screen. "What's going on?" I ask.

"Your girlfriend is on television," says Haymitch.

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><p><strong><em>There just isn't enough Delly, but sadly, she's not that important. Peeta is still "sick", but right now he's pretty much off the phase of trying kill Katniss. Next chapter, televised showing with Katniss. Thanks for any feedback you might leave. Oh yeah, and happy Valentine's Day.<em>**

**_-cheezebuns_**


	26. Chapter 26

_**Good morning! It's morning right now for me. I'm off of school, so I'm going take advantage of time and write more. So this Katniss' televised showing. I tried get Peeta's POV right, but anyway happy reading!**_

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><p>Chapter 26<p>

I walk over and stand beside Haymitch and Beetee. There on the screen, is a reporter standing in front of a building in the Capitol.

"_With this terrible war going on, we have an announcement of some good news from our president, Cornelius Snow," _the reporter says. The Capitol emblem appears on the screen, and then it begins to show Snow in the same place I was filmed. The sight of him runs fury inside me, and all I can do is grip my hands on the chair to keep it from letting it take over me. _That snake-eyed bastard_.

"_Good evening people of Panem. It may appear as though we are always keeping our defenses up, but we are stronger than the districts, and we will relinquish the fire of this rebellion. It has all been done before, and the Capitol asserted their power over it. It's never too late to retreat your soldiers. It would be wise, or we will surely see many deaths._

"_As for good news, we have a new member joining our side. Ms. Katniss Everdeen has denounced her role for the rebellion side, and is for a cease fire."_

The camera switches to Katniss who sits on a couch sort of stiffly. She looks serious, but her gray eyes seem hurt, something I rarely see in her. It breaks me, seeing her like that.

"_For those who may not know who I am, my name is Katniss Everdeen and I was in the 74__th__ and 75__th__ Hunger Games. For the past months I have witnessed war close up, and have realized it must be stopped. Countless people are dying and towns and villages are aflame. This attempt of a rebellion is not worth the deaths and destruction it causes. Even if the rebellion had any hope of victory, there would be nothing to build up on. Everything will be destroyed; our homes, our friends, our livelihoods. _

"_I am announcing that I have resigned from my role for the rebels. They're for this war, and they'll kill as many as it takes to even have a chance against the Capitol. I'm not for that. You won't win. The Capitol has been guiding us for many years and a rebellion has failed before. Stop this! Surrender your armies and retreat to life before this idea of fighting the Capitol. Nobody will win when this is all over."_

Katniss isn't very good at lying, but I almost believed it. I hate to think what Snow is using against her to make her say this. Just before the camera switches back to Snow, I realize something. Her stomach; There's no bulge anymore.

No… they couldn't have…The possibility that they aborted the baby is abominable. The trepidation makes my stomach sick. Did they kill our baby? The innocent life, that hasn't even started yet. I grab hold of the chair tighter and keep my head down. I can't let the rage take over, not now.

Haymitch grabs my shoulder. "What's wrong with you? Do you need to go back to the hospital?"

"No," I almost shout back. I'm trying really hard to stay collected. I look to the screen and see the camera is back on Snow. "I didn't see it…"

"You didn't see what?" asks Haymitch in a hoarse whisper.

"The baby… she may not be pregnant anymore." I say in a low tone. I don't want Ms. Everdeen and the people in front of me to hear me, or see that I'm losing control of this rage.

Haymitch eyes widen, and he looks to the screen. The broadcast ends and then it goes back to the usual Capitol airing. "We got to get you back to the hospital."

"No, I have to stay. We need to plan a mission to the Capitol as soon as possible." I say back gravelly.

"Coin might change her mind of you going, when you go into paroxysm!" He counters.

"I'm fine!" I say back to him. Ms. Everdeen and Beetee person look back in my direction. "I'm fine," I say more calmly. Haymitch gives me a look, but he doesn't continue to pester me about leaving.

Coin stands in front of the screen. "It seems they're using her to influence our armies into surrendering, but he hasn't threatened us directly."

"So we will continue an attack on Snow's mansion?" asks Beetee.

"Yes," she answers.

"What about Katniss?" asks Ms. Everdeen. "What if they threaten to take her life?" She holds her hands together tightly.

"We'll continue the original plans on taking the Mansion, but we'll send in a side team to get inside the Mansion," says a general.

"When do we plan to do that?" I ask.

"We agreed 2 days from now," he says.

"I don't think that's soon enough." The general looks at me like I've disrespected him in questioning his authority. "Please, when is the next hovercraft to the Capitol?"

"Tomorrow, eighteen hundred hours," Coin answers.

"Yes, but that hovercraft is carrying cargo and supplies. It actually lands in District 12, and then the cargo is shipped to the Capitol by train," says the general.

"Are not some new recruits going to the Capitol that way?" asks Coin.

"… yes," answers the general.

"Very well then, Mr. Mellark will travel with the other recruits and when you reach the Capitol, you'll be placed in the team going into the Mansion," says Coin. She dismisses everybody, except the generals and Beetee. They'll be discussing further battle plans.

I'm led to my room by the guard. I look to the clock and see it's pretty late. I need all the sleep I can get, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep that well when Katniss is in the Capitol, and there's possibility of losing our child. Drawing calms me, so I continue to sketch the drawing for a little while. When it gets late, I decide I'll make an attempt to fall asleep.

I wake up from a nightmare. Instead of being about Katniss, it's Snow. Katniss is dead, and he has the baby in his arms. The anger and hate runs adrenaline into my veins, and I run toward him. Snow is across a battle field, so I have to stop to keep soldiers from attacking me, and dodge grenades. I run and run, but it seems when I stop, that the distance just gets greater. I woke up when Snow walked into his mansion and shut the door before I got there. I was running full speed and I hit the door hard, then they're gone, just like that.

How come I never win in nightmares?

After breakfast, I have therapy, then lunch, then training. For half of the training, I go to Special Weaponry and accompany Beetee. I never really had a weapon I was good with. He gives me a dagger and a small black gas mask. He actually lets me try out a bow, but I mean, I'll never be as good as Katniss. I hit the target a few times, but decide that it's not for me.

_If only you could frost someone to death._

Beetee shows me live footage of the war going on.

"How are they filming this?" I ask.

"With our hovercrafts. They drop bombs and film a bird's eye view of the war," he answers. We continue to watch the screen. I take notice of how well protected and guarded Snow's Mansion is. He has to be there, but then again, he might just escape and hide somewhere.

"Do you think the soldiers over there saw Snow's announcement?" I ask.

"I would think some of them did. Not all soldiers are in the camps, so they don't have access to a television. They get news by their commander's communicuff."

"So they may not know."

"They'll hear soon enough."

"Do you think they'll change plans just because of it?"

Beetee watches the screen for a moment and doesn't say anything. "They still have their mission, but I'm sure they'll be cautious."

I'm sure he's trying to say it delicately, just to make me feel better. Katniss won't change they're plans. She's only one person, but yet somehow she influenced thousands for the rebellion. She fought battles and risked her life for the betterment of the districts. She wasn't the greatest orator, but she spoke to people through what she did. She never did realize the effect she had on people.

Katniss probably wouldn't want a rescue. I know her. Doesn't want her capture to stop the rebel's plans, but that how you're made to think when you're in that position. She deserves to live through this. She's coming home. I'll make sure of it.

Seven in the evening, I'm boarding the hovercraft to District 12, where a makeshift transportation area has been set up outside the fire zone. From there, we'll be taken to the tunnels outside the Capitol. We'll make a six-hour trek on foot and then reach the rebel encampment, which is a ten-block stretch outside the train station.

Delly came just in time to see me off. Haymitch wished me luck earlier, but everyone else were occupied with other things. That's alright. I'm sure they have had enough of saying good-byes. Good-byes on their own are hard enough.

Inside the hovercraft, it's softly lit. There are mostly boxes in here with soldiers sitting against the side of the hovercraft. I sit against the wall near a window. From the small window, I see the hovercraft leave the Hangar and then get lifted up till we're above ground. Looking out the window I see the air strip, and then beyond the fences is all forest. I've haven't been outside since I got here in District 13. This is all new. It's like seeing mountains for the first time.

Everyone is really quiet. Nobody talks, so all there is to hear is the hum of the hovercraft. I would consider it soothing, if I didn't know where this hovercraft was going. Having nothing to do, but worry about Katniss, I start looking though my pack. Each soldier gets one to carry necessities, like bandages, canteens, and ammo. I put my hand in a small pocket and feel something cold and hard. I take it out and see it's a flask. What's a flask doing in my pack? I hold it in my hand, and notice it feels empty. I open it and hold it upside down. A small pill falls into my hand. I hold it up next to the window for a source of moon light. What does it do?

"You don't want to lose that. If you got one, it could be really useful," a voice says. I turn around and see a young boy about 15. He looks familiar. He must be from 12, because he's got the dark hair and grey eyes.

"What is it?" I ask. The boy looks at me like he's surprised I don't know.

"It's a nightlock," he answers.

_Nightlock_. It sounds so familiar. I look back into my memory, hoping for a trace of why I recognize the name. Then I remember something: the berries in our first Hunger Games. They were called nightlock. I guessing they were named after the berries, so I already know what they do, but I still ask.

"So this kills me?"

"Right," he says back.

If I were captured, then I have to use it. This would be after I make sure Katniss is safe. I don't know much about rebel plans, but that won't stop them from thinking I do. And even if they can't get information out of me, I don't know how President Snow would continue to use me. He'd probably just kill me. I guess using this is just the more painless way out.

I put the pill back in the flask. There's the other question: why is it in a flask? I'm thinking Haymitch put it there, but I can't be sure. I put the flask back in my pack. The boy across from me is looking sideways, the light reaches his features. Then I realize I know who he is.

"Rory," I say. "You're Gale's brother."

"Right again," he says.

I've never really met him, but I've seen him around back in 12. He almost looks, and sort of talks like Gale. I know Gale is off at war, being filmed, but I didn't really think his younger brother would have to go off into battle too.

"Have you talk to, or heard any news about your brother?" I ask.

"Not since he left 13."

"So he doesn't know you're going?"

"No. I think I'll see him there. I know he's in squad 451," he says. "I'm hoping he's alright."

I notice the tone change in his voice, which makes him sound younger when he says it. If I'm right, Rory is fourteen, which is still pretty young. He's fourteen and he's on a hovercraft to go to the Capitol. I look around and see that the soldiers look only slightly older than Rory, and the majority look older than me.

"I don't know him personally, but he always seemed like the kind of guy that can take care of himself," I say. "and from what I heard, he actually helped design traps for the war."

"Yeah, he did. He said he was glad to do it, because it's helping to abolish the Capitol. He really hates them," Rory says.

"Don't we all," I say. Rory slightly grins, and it makes me smile too. "Did you want to fight in the Capitol?" I ask.

He doesn't speak for a second and then he answers, "Yes, because I think I'm doing a good thing by helping out. Everybody wants to see them gone, and so do I."

"I can't think of better reason," I say which makes him grin again.

"Same for you?" he asks.

I'm thinking of saying more of why I'm going, but it's too much. I don't want to burden Rory with my thoughts. "Right," I say.

That's one of them, along with saving Katniss, getting revenge, possibly killing Snow. If he even dares to hurt Katniss or the baby, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to see him dead.

I'm so caught up in my acrimony of Snow, that I don't realize Rory is looking at me.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I try to say composedly.

"You sure? If you think you're having one of those attacks, I could-"

"No, I'm fine." I say assuredly. "Don't worry. I'm not going to have one of those, and if I do, I'll make sure to stay away from you guys."

"Alright, but you can tell me when you need help or something," he says. Then he lies against his pack and closes his eyes.

I smile to myself. Rory seems like a good kid. If he's anything like his brother, then I know he's tough. I remember thinking how if Katniss chose Gale, he would protect her. I did hate the thought of Katniss being with Gale, but that's when I was more concerned for Katniss, and what would make her happy.

It's funny how she chose me. She's brave, caring, and strong, and I don't really understand why she chose me over him. They seemed like they were meant for each other, and I so happen to be caught in love with Katniss. I must have really loved her when I was young, because I love her so much now. I love her, and she loves me, which is probably a dream I had since I was younger. We're having a baby. It makes it a little complicated now, but beautiful. I guess apart of my dream of Katniss being in love with me, it would be to marry and have a family with her. That just leaves that one thing to do.

If we both come back, then I'll propose to her. It's either we both come back, or she just makes it. I'm going make sure, even if it's the last thing I do. That's my goal, but I can still hope that I'll get the chance to ask her to marry me.

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><p><em><strong>*tear* thanks for reading and reviews would be absolutely, positively, lovely. Next chapter, Katniss POV. I'll upload that soon.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Back in the Capitol... happy reading!**_

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><p>(POV CHANGE)<p>

I did it. I did exactly want Snow wanted. I made it as believable as I possibly could, and so I'm safe… for a little while. As soon as they stopped filming, I looked to Snow for a sign of dissatisfaction. I couldn't tell, and he didn't say anything before the peacekeepers led me back to the cells.

I'm in a different room than the room I was in when I got here. This one looks more like where a mentally-ill patient would be held, except I see the outline of a door in the semi-darkness. There's nothing in this cell except me. The first thing that came to mind is "_Is there anything here I could use to kill myself?" _Unfortunately, no. There is nothing in here except the walls, and even the walls are lined with a sort of thin padding. Snow knows my motives. He wouldn't give me a chance.

They undressed me from the dress and corset, and dress me in something like a hospital gown. I spend my time in my cell sitting against the back wall. There's nothing to do, but wait for whatever evil things they plan for me. I just want to get this over with. I'm wishing for death. If I'm dead they won't be able to use me, or threaten me with my child's life, so that I do what they want. Even if I did find a way to kill myself, I'm not sure I'll go through with it because of the baby. I don't know. I'm surely not going to let Snow take my kid's life, but if I do it, is it any better? Either way someone is ending his of her life before it even has started yet. If I do it, will Peeta understand? I feel sort of guilty for thinking like this, but it's the best I can hope for. I look down and put my hand to stomach. Tears are starting pools under my eyes. _I'm sorry_.

Much later, peacekeepers come to get me from my cell. I hear a loud buzzing noise, and then the loud noise of heavy metal doors shutting. Footsteps are heard walking to my cell's door. The door slides open, and two peacekeepers walk to where I sit on the floor. They grab hold of me by the arms. Their grips are tight, so I struggle to loosen them. They grip tighter and walk me out the cell. While leaving the prison floor, I count how many cells there are till the exit. I should know where everything is, if do I try to escape somehow.

When we're in the hallway I look for windows and vents. My search is obstructed when I'm pushed into the elevator. The peacekeeper blocks my view of the buttons of floors. I'm not sure which one I'm on. When the doors open, we go down a gray hallway, and stop at a door. One peacekeeper opens it and the other pulls me in by my wrists. Inside of the room is a table with a few chairs. What catches my attention is the chair furthest away from the table with restraints. I guess I'm getting the seat of honor.

I'm seated in the chair, and the restraints are tighten around my wrists. The peacekeepers step away from me and one of them slides the door open. President Snow walks in. He sits in a chair near me, but no closer than 3 feet. Although the distance, I still want to gag on his rose.

"Well Katniss, you did alright. It wasn't as good as Peeta, but you got the message out," he says. "I'm hoping you can help us further, as in what we don't know about the rebel plans."

"Don't you have your little spies for that?" I say harshly.

"They're obviously not there anymore, and we've never gotten any spies inside of the confidential planning."

"Well, I don't know." I spit out.

He scowls. "I'm sure you do. You were indeed the Mockingjay, were you not? You expect me to believe you have no idea what they're planning to do?"

The truth is I don't. Coin made sure of that. I might have been the symbol, but Coin didn't want me having any part in plans, except the ones that concerned me. I probably wouldn't have been useful. "I don't know."

Snow gestures to a peacekeeper. The peacekeeper takes comes forward with glass cylinders with openings at the top. My arms are put through the cylinders, and the openings tighten at my elbows. I see small tubes connected to a small gas tank the peacekeeper is holding. He begins to turn the knob, which allows gas to be released. I sit there and wait in apprehension of what it could be. The cylinders begin to fog and I feel the burning. I realize it's the same poisonous gas from the Quarter Quell.

It stings into my skin, and I feel the blisters forming. I shut my eyes and hold in my cries of pain. I can't run away from this like before. I'm forced to endure it, and I don't know how long this will be.

"What do you know?" Snow asks gravelly.

"Nothing!" I say through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure about that?"

Am I sure? Of course I'm freaking sure! I guess I could come up with a lie to ease this, but the pain is so great, I can't even think. I can't even think of anything except this agony.

"You were going to on a mission to the Capitol. They removed you from that mission, but they sent a replacement. What was that mission? What were you going to do?"

"Kill you!" I shout. He doesn't believe me and takes no heed to my words. He continues to press me into giving away any rebel information.

"Katniss Everdeen, you are not helping us. We don't want to involve anyone more into this, do we? I understand that you have some acquaintances in battle. That team made up of those tributes and your cousin. If you don't tell us what we want to know, I'll make sure they're the primary target."

The combine pain of the gas, and the suggestion of Snow's plan to kill Gale and them, is unendurably depleting. I can barely make myself speak, but I force the words out.

"There's a surprise flank coming from the north," I say with prostration. Snow looks to the peacekeeper. The peacekeeper stops the source of gas. The fog starts to slowly dilute, but the burning is still there.

"Continue," Snow says.

"Their primary attack in coming from the front, but another flank is crossing the mountains further north. They're attacking the mansion from there," I say.

Snow doesn't say anything. I can't read his expression, and right now, I really don't care to. It's the only thing I could come up with, and I don't know if it's true or not. Is he convinced what I said was true? I don't bother to look at him for fear he might see some kind of hint that I'm lying. I look to my arms, which move in wild contortions inside the glass. It's the effect of the gas. I've lost control of them.

"We're done for today. Take Katniss Everdeen back to her cell. We'll continue tomorrow," he says. He gets up from his chair and leaves the room.

The peacekeepers remove the cylinders and put cuffs on my wrists. My arms still jerk around, but they grab hold of them tighter and force them in front of me. A woman in a lab coat comes in with a small tub of water. She places it on the table and leaves. The peacekeepers push me forward. It looks like salt water, which I remember relieved the effects of the gas. I also remember the excruciating pain that comes with it.

Before I can brace myself, the peacekeeper dips both of my arms in the water. I let out a shout from the sudden and overwhelming pain of it. It starts to lessen, but I see the cuts of blisters all over my arms. It's a lot worse than last time, because of the amount of exposure.

I'm taken back to my cell. They remove the cuffs and leave a dish behind. I study its contents and hope it won't poison me. I'm very hungry, so I decide to take my chances to go ahead and eat it. It's stale bread and a mush of soft vegetables. I stomach it down, because this might be the only food I get for a very long time. Who know how long I'll be here.

The isolation causes me to think depressingly. I come up with a mental list of my faults and mistakes. The worst is causing the pain and death of people who are involved with me. An example: everyone in 12. All those lives are gone, because of me. Another mistake was being overcome by my feelings, and letting Peeta in. I should've never told him I loved him, even though I really do. I love him so much, but that night before the interviews should've never happened. I wouldn't be pregnant. I wouldn't have stayed in District 13 and have been kidnapped. I wouldn't be in this cell. I would've gone on that mission to the Capitol, killed Snow, and got taken out myself. I wouldn't have had to worry about a second life being ended because what I chose to do.

My thoughts finally erode from my mind, and I fall asleep. The dreams are getting more vivid and terrifying. I always wake up suddenly at the end of it and look for relief, but there is no relief when I wake up. They're actually not as bad compared to reality.

A buzzing noise, shutting of heavy doors, and footsteps put me on alert. The door slides open and a single peacekeeper comes in. The large peacekeeper walks toward me. "Get up!" he says.

I stand up from the floor where I slept. Then suddenly I get this idea of making a run for it. Not very smart, but I don't think about consequences and decide to try. When the peacekeeper is close enough to me, I duck and run out behind him. I make it out the door, and run down a hallway, but I reach a gate which is clearly locked. I run into to the gate- I don't know- expecting it to break at contact. It doesn't, and I'm left with a painful shoulder. I hit the gate in frustration. The peacekeeper runs to where I am. He roughly grabs my arms and holds them behind me. He kicks the back on my knee and I fall to the ground. He puts the cuffs on, and then pulls me up roughly by my arm with the sore shoulder.

The guard slides an ID in a slot by the door. I notice the buzzing, indicating the doors unlocking. He opens the door and pulls me forward. Before we leave the dungeon, I see a sign saying all gates unlock in case of fire. Fire. There's no possible way I could start a fire here, so I give up on the idea.

I'm back in room where I was questioned. The peacekeeper straps me into the chair, but doesn't reach for the cylinders. Within a few minutes, Snow walks in with a woman in a lab coat. Snow takes a seat in front of me, while the peacekeepers and the woman stand next to the wall.

"I warned you, but you decided to make up lies," Snow says. Damn it! He figured out my lie.

"I'm very disappointed in you. I thought we had an agreement that you would help us. You clearly tried to fool us, so you will receive the appropriate consequence." He looks ominously into my eyes.

"I've told you. I don't know anything," I spit out at him.

"Still lying, are you? I've sent a message to my generals informing them that the rebel team 451, must be eliminated."

"There's nothing I can tell you! They're not even a real combatant team. They're not part of the attack."

"They're very much a part of all of this. I was planning to take them out anyway. Those victor tributes thought they could somehow surpass the Capitol, but we'll show them different. The districts need an example to be demonstrated to them."

I pull against the restraints repeatedly, but my strength does nothing. Snow actually laughs at my attempt. This just makes me angrier. I spit at his face, and it makes his stupid grin disappear. He furrows his brows and slaps me across the face.

"They're not the only ones facing consequences," he says, while getting up. "We have special arrangements for you as well." He mutters something to the woman in the lab coat I don't quite catch, and then leaves the room.

My face is throbbing, and I can feel the blood rushing to his hand print. The woman walks up to me and holds a syringe filled with a small amount of liquid. She injects into my arm and I tense up while I see the needle inserted. She takes it out of my arm and throws it away. I don't feel anything. I guess it's just not taking effect yet.

"I've already set up the speakers in her cell. The venom should take effect in just a moment," she says in a low tone to the peacekeeper.

"What did you inject me with?" I ask angrily.

"trackerjacker venom, sweetie," she answers toneless.

The peacekeeper takes me back to my cell. He removes the cuffs and locks the door. Great, just great. I've been injected with trackerjacker venom. As if I haven't had enough nightmares. I'm afraid to even begin to think what it could do to an undeveloped baby. I sit against the far wall and hold my knees up to my chest. It will take effect any minute now. All I can do is wait. I sit still, listening to my palpitating heart, but then the silence in my cell is broken by a piercing scream that makes my blood run cold. It's Prim's. The screams continue, and then there are cries. She calls my name to help her.

"_Katniss help me! They took me from the camp. I don't know anything!..."_

No, it's no real, I tell myself. It's the same trick with the jabber jays. It's all fake. It's not real. The screams and cries continue, and even though I tell myself they're not real, they still make me cringe. I cover my ears, but I still hear them. Then I start to think; what if they're not distorted recordings? What if Snow actually has her here? This causes a new sensation of dread. I try to forget I even thought it, but I can't. I can't ignore the possibility that she's at the mercy of Snow's ruthless plans. And it's not just Prim. I hear Gale, Finnick, Johanna, and then Peeta.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the venom kicks in. The screams are joined with actual images of what is causing their screams. Closing my eyes does nothing, because it's all in my head. My prison cell morphs into the Hunger Games arena. I watch all of them die gruesome, terrible deaths. It's all too much, and I can feel myself choking on my sobs.

I'm slowly regain my perception back. It's still slightly hazy and dream-like, so it still seems like I'm hallucinating. The screams are gone, but I occasionally get a disturbing image through my head. I feel the floor against me, and slowly sit up. I loosen the tension of my muscles and take deep breathes. They come out shallow. I put a hand to my cheek and feel the moist trails of tears. It's over I tell myself. The screams are gone.

How did he get those screams? I want to think they're just distorted recordings, but the feeling in my gut says otherwise. Did Snow capture them? Did he get Gale, FInnick and Johanna? And Peeta? How could he have gotten him from District 13? No they can't be here. It was all just a trick; horrifying, cruel, and horrendous. They almost succeeded in breaking me, if that's what they're planning to do.

But I won't break. Not just yet.

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><p><em><strong>Depressing thoughts may come from depressing circumstances, but don't get down from this. There's still HOPE! Even if it's "breaking". Oh jeeze that was bad joke. <strong>_

_**111 Favs calls for something special. 175th review gets to ask plot related question. I'll let you know, and you can decline if you don't want to spoil the story. I think it's like 172 reviews right now. Thank you for reading.**_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	28. Chapter 28

**_Happy Reading, it's a long one. Sorry about any grammatical errors._**

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><p>(POV CHANGE)<p>

The trek to the rebel encampment overtired me. During the trek, Rory continually pushed me to keep going, but every new mile, brought more exhaustion and fatigue. When we reach the encampment I sit on the ground, exhausted. Rory squats next to me. I realized I don't have the endurance I used to have, but I see some younger soldiers do the same thing. It really doesn't make me look any better.

It's dark, maybe around ten at night. The encampment is lit by heaters and street lights. The dust drawn up from soldiers walking, makes my throat dry. We're given some water and then led to our assigned teams. I take some water and force myself to stand up. _Rest later_. I adjust the pack on my shoulders, and walk with the other new-comers more into the camp. Rory walks beside me.

"Have you seen him?" he asks.

I assume he's talking about Gale. I survey the soldiers around us, looking for anyone who might be from Seam. "I haven't spotted him," I say.

A soldier walks up to me and Rory. "Rory Hawthorne," He looks up from a clip board. "Over there," he says pointing toward the direction of a circle of tents.

"If I see him, I'll find you," I say. Rory nods and walks in the direction of where the guy pointed.

"Peeta Mellark?"

"Yeah," I answer

"Follow me," he says. He walks away and doesn't bother to see if I'm following. I walk after him. We walk past several medical tents and vehicles and continue walking till we almost reach the end of the encampment. We stop at a small camp fire, surrounded by dark outlines of soldiers sitting around it. Before the guy says anything, somebody recognizes me.

"Peeta?" I look to who said my name. It's Johanna in a soldier uniform. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Before I can answer, the soldier speaks. "Peeta Mellark is the replacement sent. He's joining your team."

I recognize some these people now. Finnick just noticed I was here, and so did Gale, who's sitting against a log. They all have puzzled looks on their faces.

"You're the replacement?" asks Gale.

"I guess so. I didn't know I was replacing anybody, I just volunteered to come out here." I say.

A man with a jar-head haircut comes out of a tent nearby. From his uniform, I assume that he's the commander. The soldier, who led me here, begins to inform the commander that I'm the new replacement for their team. Jar-head does not look happy. He relieves me of my weapon and asks to see my tag. I pull it out and show it to him. Surely enough it says 451. I didn't have any idea that I'd be on this team.

"I'm going to make a call," he says irritably. "Jackson if you'd please." He leaves and a uniformed woman walks with him. The soldier who brought me here goes with them as well, and so I'm left standing alone, in front of my new team, who are all confused as to why I'm here.

"What are you doing here, Bread?" asks Johanna.

"I'm here for the rescue mission."

"Why would they send you? Weren't you hospitalized?" asks Gale.

"Well now, I'm good enough," I say. I'm a little fed up of convincing people I'm better.

Gale isn't convinced. He looks to everybody else with the same questioning expression. A woman, about 20-something, is saying something in a hushed tone to Finnick, but I can clearly hear what she's saying.

"Wasn't he hijacked?"

"I'm fine," I say directed at her.

Finnick gets up. "I'm sure you're better, but Boggs clearly doesn't think so. You've improved, but he probably thinks that you're not well enough. Maybe it's best he send you back. That's what they did to me, and now I'm perfectly okay." He stands beside me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "It's for your own good, Peeta."

"It doesn't matter. Coin assigned me herself. I'm actually an asset to this mission."

"How?" asks Gale.

"I've been there," I reply.

"So have I!" Johanna calls out.

"True, but I'm sure you know some parts more than others, I'm just filling in what you don't remember."

"I don't think you got everything remembered straight," she says.

"That's why there's two us. It's better with two people finding our way in there."

Resentment, confusion, worriment. That's basically what everybody's expressions are. It looks like Gale is only one who's actually agitated. I'm left standing there, and I can feel the wall of tension they already have put up, because of my presence. They think I'm crazy. Yes, I can understand why, but I don't want them to continue thinking that I'm just a liability. I sigh.

A uniformed man, around thirty or forty, comes out of a tent. He walks next to the fire, and then notices everybody watching me from the corner of their eyes. "Who's this?" he asks.

"Peeta Mellark," says Finnick. Finnick goes over to the log. "Have a seat Peeta." He sits next to the man who just arrived, and pats a spot on the other side of him. I walk over and sit next to him. They're trying to overlook my presence. Nobody really says anything. The guy on the other side leans forward and puts a hand toward me.

"My name's Homes. I'm the team's sharp-shooter."

I shake his hand to be polite. "Peeta Mellark, I'm handy with a knife, I guess."

Homes just laughs. "You're funnier in person," he says. "So what's your business here?" he asks with good humor.

"Well, Coin sent me here to help out with the rescue mission."

"Oh," he says. His friendly expression is gone and it's replaced with uneasiness. There's no further conversation except little palaver between Finnick and Homes.

Boggs and the woman, called Jackson, come back. Boggs looks furious. "Coin is convinced that Peeta's knowledge of the prison floors will be an asset. She also says the footage is uninspiring and needs work." He looks to all of us and then to Jackson. "Set up a two-person, round-the-clock guard on Peeta." Jackson nods and Boggs walks toward the way he just came.

Jackson points to Finnick and an older soldier I don't know. "You guys start it. Rotation will be every 4 hours."

I find this demeaning. It slightly irritates me. I don't need baby-sitters. If I wasn't well enough, the doctor wouldn't have let me come here. I think. Everybody gets up to get their sleeping bags. Finnick throws me a bag, but he stays seated on the long. The other soldier on watch spreads his out on the opposite side of the small fire, and leans his head on the log. Everyone else retires to the tents, or lays their sleeping bags close to the source of heat.

Jackson tells me to sleep out in full view where the rest of them can keep an eye on me. I lay mine on the ground. I remove my pack and use it as a pillow.

"G'night, Bread," says Johanna as she turns over in her sleeping bag. Gale lies on the opposite side of the long, giving a sort of glare before he's out of view. At least I think it was a glare. My thoughts keep me from falling asleep. I look to the sky, looking for stars, but there are none visible. The city lights conceal them. I turn and stare at the wood crackling in the fire. Then older guy coughs roughly, and it breaks me out of my trance. I see Finnick's attention is at his hands, but I don't see what he's doing.

"Do you really think I've shouldn't have came here?" I ask plainly.

"I don't know. That kind of stuff is unpredictable, right? I used to be like that. I wanted to go places, but I was confined to my room. _No Finnick, you're not well enough_." He says trying to imitate an old female doctor.

"I haven't had an episode in days, and I was getting better at deciphering memories of what were real and not real. Katniss helped me. She told me about my home and life before, but she's… I just haven't been able to remember stuff on my own."

"You could ask me," Finnick says. "That's what Annie does. So, I might not know a whole lot about District 12, but got any questions about the Games or whatever in the middle, I'm your man."

"Um okay. I'll let you know," I say. Finnick turns his attention back to his hands. I'm curious so I ask, "What are you doing?"

Finnick lifts a hand with a long piece of rope, into my view. "Tying knots."

"You remember?"

"I've been doing it like forever," he says humorously. "Actually, since I was a kid back in 4. I made nets."

I nod my head. I can barely remember my childhood. I have some pieces of it, like when I gave Katniss bread and some with my family, Delly and school, but that's about it.

"Were we allies in the Quarter Quell?" I ask.

"Yes sir," he says.

"But you were only pretending? You actually were secretly allies with Brutus and Enboria."

"Uh no. That's not real. I was your ally to make sure you and Katniss survived. Is that how you remember it?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think it was real. The memory was sort of shiny and vivid. It didn't look normal."

"So those memories you call "shiny" are the ones changed with trackerjacker venom?"

"I think so. I'm not sure. I can't know if it's real or not without asking someone."

"Ask away," he says.

I think for a moment. "So you knew about the rebels? You were allies with us because we were supposed to be part of the rebellion?"

"Real. It was all set up between Haymitch, Johanna, Beetee, and some others."

That's right, I remember. Haymitch went behind our backs and set us up to have allies, and we were going to be used for the rebellion. He gave us no clue to as what he was really doing, thinking if we didn't know what was going on, it would keeps us safe. Huh, and look how that turned out.

"For how long was District 13 there?" I ask.

Finnick hesitates for a moment, but the older guy next to him speaks up.

"It's always been there, since it started, even after the Dark Days," he says.

"Are the ruins and stuff on television not real?" I ask

"Pretty much," he clears his throat. "Whenever you see footage of the ruins, it's the exact same one. The reporters aren't really there. You can tell, because there's a mockingjay in the corner; the exact same one, flying in the exact same way."

"I never noticed it," I say.

"Me neither," Finnick says.

"You got to be looking for it. It's barely visible, but you can see it." There's this long pause and I start to think about it. I'm actually interested on how District 13 was kept underground for so long. I'm also thinking of why they didn't help the other districts while the Capitol continued to dictate them. I guess they had their reasons.

"I don't believe you know my name," he says directing at me. "I know who you are."

Finnick pronounces his name into his hand for me to see. I can't really tell but I give it good guess. "Marshall?"

Finnick is snickering, and the guy is giving me a funny look. "That's not my name," the guy says. Finnick laughs louder. "I'm Mitchell," he says. "You remember that."

"Mitchell, got it," I say.

"At least he didn't say Michelle…" says Finnick, trying to keep himself from laughing out loud. The guy gives a look to Finnick, and then I see him smile for the first time.

Next rotation is Gale and the female soldier, who they call Leeg. They sit close to the fire, which is slowly dying out. Gale and Leeg have their guns beside them, ready to use if I were to go into the effects of the venom. I'm lying in my sleeping bag up to my chest, facing away. I couldn't sleep, so Finnick lent me his rope to practice tying knots. I start a knot that I sort of remember, but when I can't remember how to finish, I give up and start all over again.

The female soldier yawns loudly. I hear her talking to Gale, and hear my name. I don't bother to let them know I'm aware of their conversation. My fingers get tangled in the rope. I become frustrated and try to shake it off. Stupid rope. I give up on tying knots and look for something to distract myself. I look around at all the sleeping soldiers scattered and surrounding heaters. I wonder where Rory is.

"You awake?" I hear Gale ask.

"Yes," I answer.

"Too apprehensive to sleep?"

"Sort of," I say.

"Try. Sleep would help out tomorrow," he says plainly.

"I know, but I can't." I lie on my back, and look straight up. I wonder what Katniss is looking up at, the ceiling of cell, probably. I won't be able to sleep until I know she's alright. Every second of not knowing, is making thoughts of worriment run through my head. I know Gale cares about her too. I wonder how he tolerates with it. "I just can't stand it." I say earnestly.

Gale turns and then looks back at the fire. "Huh, will I'm not happy about it either."

"And how do you bear it? That she's there?"

"I don't," he says.

"Well, you're good at appearing composed."

He lets out a sarcastic laugh, "Wow, thanks. I wish I could say the same for you."

I don't let it offend me. I continue to talk plainly. "You still think I don't belong here."

"Yes," he answers bluntly. "I get why you came, but I don't think it was a smart idea."

"Wow, thanks," I say exactly like he did. He looks offended, but then he turns away and smirks. I see the other soldier is occupied with her gun. She looks troubled, but she assembles and reassembles it like she's distracting herself, or trying to appear to not be listening.

"I don't like you," Gale says bluntly. "I've got every reason to hate you, especially for what you did, but I can't seem to make myself. You're too much of a good guy. You're hard to hate."

"Wow, thanks," I say again. I grin when I say it, coming out light-heartedly. "I don't hate you either." I take the rope on my finger and pull it off. It burns, but I don't let it bother me. My mind is off somewhere, and too occupied to sense the pain. I think about the trip here.

"Hey," I say. Gale looks in my direction. "I wouldn't consider it good, given the circumstances, but I met your brother on the hovercraft here, Rory. He's a nice kid."

"Rory is here?" he asks.

"Yeah, we were on the same hovercraft, and train car. He's camped over that way." I raise my arm in the direction. "I told him I'd find you for him."

Gale looks in the direction. He doesn't say anything and looks back to the fire that has completely burned out. He reaches into a pocket and pulls out a match. He lights the remaining wood in the ditch. The soldier grabs a piece of wood from behind her and hands it to Gale. "Thanks Leeg." He throws it in and sits back. Leeg lies down, but she's trying to keep her eyes open. Gale adjusts his shoulders on the log and put his head back.

"How many brothers do you have, two?" I ask.

"Yes," he answers steadily. "and I have a younger sister."

"I don't know if you already knew, but I had two older brothers. They were always doing things before me, experiencing things first, better at wrestling. They died in the bombing." I say monotonously.

Gale looks confused. "Why are you telling me this?" he asks hesitantly.

"I'm not asking for sympathy from you. I'm just talking, conversing. I had brothers. You don't realize how important they are to you, till they gone. I'm glad you were able to get your family out of 12, that you still have them."

"Yeah…" he says.

"You should be sleeping, right? You want to be good for tomorrow. I'm just keeping you up." I look over to Leeg who is already asleep. "I swear I won't go anywhere," I say plainly.

"My shift is almost over. What about you try to sleep?" Gale says.

"Right…" I lie on my side and bring the cover up to my neck. I have to fall asleep. I need to. I have to be in good condition when we go on that mission.

We're up and early the next morning. We receive breakfast at the canteen and report to the same site to depart for the streets. I stand in a line with everybody else on the team. Boggs explains our mission and route. We'll be taking streets, that still have active pods. Closer to the heart of the city, we'll be traveling in the underground tunnels, and from there we'll break into the bottom floors of the Mansion.

A small camera crew is going to be following us. They want actual footage of the mission. Plutarch says that filming a real mission will get better footage. The crew is wearing protective gear. I think it's a little ridiculous and risky, but the people in the crew have all agreed to go, and have accepted all the dangers that come with it.

"Where is Soldier Gale Hawthorne?" asks Boggs.

"He went to have a brief meeting with his brother," I answer.

He looks irritable at me. I don't react to it at all.

"He's stalling our mission," Jackson says.

"He'll be right back,"

Then just on cue, Gale arrives and stands at the end of the group. Boggs doesn't confront him, and we all start leaving camp. Boggs hands me a gun. He makes sure to mention out loud that it's filled with blanks. I shrug. "I'm not much of a shot anyway."

We walk down streets of orange and pink paved stones and baby blue apartment buildings. When we reach an assigned block, Boggs gestures to Homes to shoot a pod, while everyone else shoots windows for the camera. The pod is activated and a swarm of bullets shoot in undulations. We were expecting it, and we all duck and take cover. After awhile, Boggs tells us to move forward.

Cressida, the director, shouts out that she wants to film each of members' reactions. Okay, I see this as a waste of time from rescuing Katniss, but it's said to be important for rebellion propaganda. We all takes turn being filmed of our reactions. It's supposed to be serious business, but it feels a little ridiculous. Mitchell's heroic dive and act of desperation is causing everyone to laugh uncontrollably.

"And I thought I was a bad actor," says Johanna grabbing her sides from laughter.

"Pull it together, Four- Five- One," Boggs says firmly, but he's clearly trying to hide a smile. He consults his Holo, and raises it up to the light to get a better view in the fog. I'm anxious about finding Katniss, but I'm trying to control my laughter. I stand next to Johanna who is clearly failing.

"I really don't understand why they need to film this. Why are they doing this?"

"To make us look like idiots," she says laughing. I try to suppress my urge to laugh. We start walking toward the others when a bomb detonates right in front of us.

I'm blown back and land on back. I hit my head my on the street, and I begin to hear screams and yells. I get up slowly, and help Johanna up. She groggily stands and we start to walk forward. I search the smoke for anybody who is hurt. I see Finnick trying to revive a crew member. Jackson is yelling into a field communicator for medics. I see Boggs lying on rubble, his legs are gone. Homes is attending to him, but I can see it's too late. He's lost so much blood.

Then there's a second explosion. It knocks me down again. My ears ring and I have tunnel vision. Everything seems to move in slow motion. Finnick points and shouts. I look in the direction and begin to see black gush enveloping the street. It's coming towards us, we have to move. My perception is hazy and I try to concentrate on following Johanna who's in front of me. We reach where Boggs lies. He's still alive. I offer to help carry him, but Homes denies my help and gets Mitchell to help him.

My vision seems to turn shiny and bright as I look around my surroundings. Sounds are amplified, and when Gale and Leeg fire their gun at stones it gives me a terrible migraine. Another bomb goes off. My heart is palpitating extremely fast, color turn incredibly vivid and bright, and then I start to feel the all too familiar rage.

It's pure hate, anger, and fear. The adrenaline is surging through my veins. My instinct is telling me to stop whoever is causing the explosions. They're the threat. I run at them, but then someone grabs hold of me in a tight embrace. I bend my knees, raise my arms, spin and hit my attacker. I start to sprint, but somebody else tackles me to the ground. Fumes make me sick, but it doesn't stop my sudden energy. I get my feet under them and push them off. I don't take notice where they land. _They're trying to kill us. They're traitors. They're for the Capitol. They want us dead. _I dart for the person who is aiming their gun at me. Someone from behind, pushes me down and I'm restrained again.

"_Get off of me!_ _Let go!"_ I can't get out of their hold. I keep struggling against them, but they hold tighter. I'm being dragged, and my vision is still so distorted, that I don't know what's going on. Fumes, explosions, snapping of traps, door slamming open. Cuffs are put on my wrists, I'm shoved in a small dark room, I hit the wall, and they shut the door. I slam against it, and then repeatedly start to kick it.

_They freaking locked me in a closet! I'm not going to let them take me again_. I slam against the door with my shoulder, and kick it harder, but then I start to feel weak. The adrenaline that propelled me, is diminishing, and I stop kicking the door. My breathing starts to get really slow, and I black out.

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><p><em><strong>Familiar? Almost. I like writting this one because all the dialogue, and also everything that happens. Peeta has gone crazy again, attacking his team. Poor him, and his team. Thanks for reading!<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Set Fire to the Third Bar- Snow Patrol. Has to be my favorite right now. Fits well w/ chapter. Happy reading.**_

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><p>Chapter 29<p>

(POV CHANGE) _Katniss_

I wake up with a headache and a sore shoulder. I'm terribly thirsty and I have no idea what time it is, or for how long I have been asleep. I sit up carefully, and then notice a plate and a bowl of water on the other side of my cell. I get up, and take the plates with me to sit against the wall. I know better than just to eat it, so I stir a finger in the mush. I examine it, and then eat just a little off my finger. If they put something in the food, I rather have eaten a small amount, than have eaten the whole thing and go into the effects of drugs or something. I wait a few minutes and then decide it's okay. I eat it quickly, and drink the water in the bowl.

The trackerjacker venom has worn off. I have nothing to do in this cell, so I'm left to have my thoughts run through my head. I tell myself that I'm not going to think how infelicitous my situation is. I'm only going to think what I can do to better my situation; to not go into a depression. They want me to become empty and motiveless, but I won't. I'll have to brace myself for whatever they plan to do, however bad it is. I'm still going to still be me when I come out of this, if I come out of this.

_Stop thinking like that_.

Their motive is for me to become empty, so that I will succumb to whatever they tell me. I'm not going to let myself. I'm searching my thoughts for something to hold on to, something to remember, or hope for, just to get me through this. I think for a long time. When I can't find an answer for my problem, I think of something else; what made me happy? The first thing that comes to my mind is when I saw my mother dancing at Finnick's and Annie's wedding. She looked happy, so I was happy. I think about collecting dandelions with Prim when we were young. When I was in the Hummingbird Room with Peeta and Prim, I can say I was happy. It's one of those times where I wasn't constantly worried about something. I was distracted with the moment. Peeta and I spoke normally for the first time in so long. Prim made it feel like being back in 12, before that Reaping. It felt like home.

I think about the Quarter Quell, when Finnick and I scared Peeta awake. I remember how hard we laughed even though we were still in such a disheartening place. I think about kissing Peeta for real for the first time, and then I think about the pearl.

I'm jumping around in my thoughts, and realize I'm smiling even though I'm in a prison cell. I start to feel movement inside me. _Haven't heard from you for awhile_. Since I got here, it hasn't moved till now. I realize I didn't say that finding out I was pregnant made me happy. Does it make me happy? I'm unsure. I just can't see the joy that comes with it at this moment.

I feel it push against my stomach. It hurts a little. It's like it pushing out with its tiny arms.

"Calm down," I whisper, but I don't really mean it. I sort of want it to keep moving. It's that good thing I was looking for, when everything else is so awful. It's one of those experiences in a pregnancy that a woman is supposed to get really excited about, but it does hurt. What do you do to calm babies? Sing lullabies, but I don't know if it works in this case. The baby is not even out yet, but I heard from somewhere that they can still hear you.

I clear my throat and start to sing in a hushed tone:

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you..._

I'm not sure if I'm singing to the baby or rather, myself. Either way, it feels like I have just lied. Safe? Not really, but this is what you tell children, that they're safe. _Lies_, I think, but that last line wasn't a lie.

I get that feeling in my throat, and my voice begins to break when I try to continue singing. My eyes water, but I stop my sorrowing and pull myself together. I pull my skirt over my knees and lay my head on them. I close my eyes and calm my breathing. I force myself not to think how hopeless this is.

A buzzing sound, the opening of heavy doors, and footsteps get me alert. They're coming to get me, again. The door slides open and two peacekeepers walk over to where I sit. They pull me up and put cuffs on my wrists. One pulls me by the cuffs, the other Peacekeeper walks behind me. We go into the elevator, go up a floor, and then enter the same plain room I'm questioned in. Snow is already seated in his usual spot.

"We have some news for you," Snow says ominously. The Peacekeepers place me in the chair and leave my cuffs on. I'm forced to see his sinister smile, and smell his rose. I'm beginning to feel nauseous.

"From your expression I'm guessing it's wonderful news," I say sarcastically.

"I wouldn't call it wonderful, but it had to be done. It was inevitable," he says. I sit still, waiting for him to continue. "We discovered the squad's whereabouts. Street surveillance captured that squad made up of your acquaintances. They fortuitously triggered a chain of pods, which in fallout killed a member or two. We were alerted, and took the opportunity to activate our own traps to finish them off." He leans just a bit closer, to make sure I hear him right. "Everyone in that squad is marked dead. I have Peacekeepers searching for their remains."

Dead? No, they can't be. Snow is lying again. "Lies," I mutter.

Snow frowns. "They're dead. We have the evidence."

"It's fake. They're not dead. They wouldn't be done away with, so easily."

He grimaces. "I'm going to give an official statement about the news. I suppose you should be there to give your supportive take on what happen. You'll say it had to be done for peace."

"Sure, I'll say whatever. You may be able to fool the rebels," I say.

He furrows his eyebrows. "You are fooling yourself, Katniss Everdeen. You are in denial, but you won't be when you see the footage," he states percussively. "Take Ms. Everdeen to the stylists. Make sure they cover those blemishes on her arms." These blemishes are actually scars from the poisonous gas, but he really has no concern about how they harm me, as long as it can be hidden.

"After made ready, take her to view the footage," he says. He directs his eyes at me. "You'll see for yourself." Then Snow departs and the Peacekeepers take me out of the room.

They're not dead. How can they be? Snow is just making this up to get me to fall apart. The televising will be a hoax, or at least the "proof" he has will be. We exit the elevator and reach the room for prep. It's the same emotionless stylists from last time.

"Over here," says the male stylists. I'm put on the platform again. "Behave well, or you'll be sedated."

I glare at him, and he scowls back to intimidate me. Fail. The female stylist grabs hold of one of my arms, and raises it up. "What are we going to do about this?" she says in her squealing accent.

"Don't worry, we have a dress to conceal that," he says. "We'll also conceal that bump with the corset. You're getting awfully big." I glare at him and spit on his suit. "Shit! You little-"

"Let's just do what we have to do," The woman says. "The sooner we're done, the better." The man nods, but he continues to scowl for the whole make over.

They cover the light scars on my face and the dark circles under my eyes. They wash my hair, dry it, and leave it down simply. When it comes to the corset, I make sure to hold in my breath to achieve a little more room, but when they tighten it, I exhale suddenly, and they tighten it even more. The dress is put over my head and pulled down. It's black, but this one has sleeves to cover my arms. I wouldn't want to appear as though I'm doing this against my will.

We go into one of Snow's private quarters. It's a study, with a desk, shelves, and bookcases, but there's a large screen on the wall. A cushioned seat is moved closer to the screen. They sit me down and leave the cuffs. "Watch it," commands the Peacekeeper. What else am I going to do?

I face the screen believing that whatever they have to show me is a hoax. The screen lights up and displays a street of the Capitol from an angle of a roof. I don't see anything, until a bomb detonates. Smoke clears slightly and I see Boggs. He lies on a pile of rubble and a small pool of blood is starting to form. His legs are gone. I'm beginning to feel sick.

A voice-over explains what's happening as the squad tries to regroup. I can't tell who is who. A second bomb goes off. There's yelling and shouting, and guns are being fired. The smoke clears and I start to recognize each of them. Finnick is trying to revive Messalla, Gale and Leeg are firing their guns to detonate bombs up ahead. It's a rudimentary attempt at mine sweeping. Then I notice the familiar blonde hair, shaggy and dark with ash. Oh no. Peeta. _What is he doing there?_

What makes it worse is that Peeta doesn't look like himself. He's in the middle of another paroxysm. Soldiers of the squad are trying to restrain him. My heart sinks when I see him like that. All that time we spent together, thinking that I might have helped him out of it…

He shoves Mitchell off of him. Mitchell lands on a stone, triggering a pod. A net sprouts out of a streetlight and encases him. He's instantly bloody. Gale tries to free him. Pollux and Homes grab hold of Peeta. The squad is failing at trying to take control over the chaos. They dart for escape into an apartment. I watch it all intently, until the wave of black substance blots out the cameras. The screen hums and then it shows Gale, alone on a street, trying to shoot through the cables that hold Mitchell aloft. Who is dead.

Coverage continues from the courtyard behind the apartment where they took shelter. Peacekeepers line the roof of the building across the street. Shells are launched into the apartments setting off a chain of explosions. It cuts to a live feed. A reporter stands with the apartment block burning in the background. Firefighters are trying to put out the fire. The showy reporter finally announces them dead, and the screen is turned off.

No, no, no. It can't be real, but it looks so irrefutable. Could they all be dead? Peeta, Gale, Johanna, Finnick, the film crew, Mitchell, Homes, Jackson, Leeg, Boggs: All dead? Gone, just like that. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've just been punched in the gut. The reality really starts to sink in. I'll never see them again; Finnick's smile, Johanna's sarcastic humor. No Gale to go hunting with. No more sleeping in Peeta's arms to warn off nightmares, or hearing him talk about painting sunsets. Peeta will never have the chance to see his baby. My stomach feels sick again.

A large Peacekeeper comes into the room. I can see he was expecting me to start bawling or something, but I can't. It's just so sudden. The Peacekeeper pushes me out of the room without a word. I just go along willingly, until I know what to do, or what to think.

We arrive at the set. I sit on the same white seat, with a bright light shining in my face. I can't see them behind the light, but I hear Snow asking about my reaction to the news. No reaction. He won't get anything out of me. I don't think I have to keep doing this anymore. I won't talk to be made their puppet.

"Well if she's not emotional, then that will keep the audience focused on the message. They won't be easily persuaded to feel sorry for her. If she acts like it didn't affect her, then the audience shouldn't react as negatively," says a director to Snow.

"Very well then, we'll continue what we had planned. Her lines will be given," says Snow.

"Yes, Mr. President."

Forget the freaking lines. I'm saying what I want. I'm also planning an attempt to escape. I just want to make an attempt, and if I fail, they'll have to kill me. If they plan to kill the baby, I'll find some way to be taken out first. I'll have to do something disruptive. I won't go quietly. I should warn them of Snow's second attempt at taking District 13. It would be like what Peeta did. They know I'm not really on the Capitol's side.

Cameras begin to televise Snow's statement. He congratulates the peacekeepers on a masterful job, honors them for ridding the remaining symbols of the rebellion. He predicts a tide change in the war, with the evidence of demoralized rebels and having a stronger offensive approach.

Then the screens flickers, it starts to display President Coin in 13. She introduces herself as the head of the rebellion. She speaks of the deceased team, and gives a persuasive sedition. While this is going on, Snow is shouting at the film crew. The cameras are pointed at me, and when Coin finishes, I'm shown on the screen. Snow is giving me a threatening look to not screw this up. Oh well.

"The rebel squad…" I look to Snow who's already losing his top. The crew waits for me to continue with frowns on their faces. "They didn't die in vain! We're still in this rebellion, and we're not going to give up!" Snow is furious, he's shouting to stop filming, but just before they are able to, I stand up and fling my shoe at Snow and the operator. Which it hits, I'm not sure. It's stalls enough time. "They plan to seize District 13! Assemble forces. Get ready!"

Before I can look for some sort of escape, the Peacekeepers rush to get me out of the room. I'm hit repeatedly on the back and shoulders with their nightsticks. I kneel on the ground from the impact, but they just pick me up again and drag me out of the room.

I'm back in the study. They leave, leaving my cuffs on, and lock the door. I pace around the room, searching for some sort of escape. None, there's nothing. The vent is too small and there are no windows. I look for anything I could use to defend myself, a weapon. I look through the desk, there's nothing, not even pens to stab them with. I look above a shelf, filled with pipes and framed photos and certificates. I search with my hands on the top shelves, and find nothing, but then I notice something sticking out from under the shelf on the floor. I pick it up. It's a small wooden stick that I indentify as a match. I smile with my discovery and then stick in my hair. I can't put it in my sleeve, or they'll find it.

The doors slam open, I turn around quickly. Snow walks in enraged, followed by Peacekeepers. "You gullible girl! You helped no one with your outburst; District 13 nor yourself. I don't even know where you got that information! Every action has consequences, and you'll be sure to be facing yours. Do realize what you have done? That was our only preponderating strategy left. They'll have to split their forces- Taking them out will just take more time, causing more casualties, more deaths on both sides. You are to blame for it."

"You think you'll simply win over? That it's just a matter of time before the rebellion is stopped? You're too confident, or you're the one that's gullible!" I shout.

"Quiet! You don't have any right to speak your opinion. It doesn't matter."

"If it didn't matter, I wouldn't be here, would I?" I counter. He's fuming. I see his pale, made-up face start to redden. It would be funny, if I wasn't at the edge of my life right now.

"We made a deal, and you broke it. You were hoping for an easy out, well that's not going to happen. You'll continue to work for us till the end of this. You're not leaving yet, but as consequence, that burden of yours will be terminated. It's of no use or importance to us," he says firmly. "Tomorrow evening, you'll have a scheduled abortion."

This wouldn't be the first time I broke a deal with a power hungry hag. He storms out of the room. The Peacekeepers grab hold of my arms, and walk me out back to my cell. I'm not going to be here for that appointment. No way in hell.

I'm left in the attire I was televised in. They didn't bother taking me back to the stylists. They took my remaining shoe, thinking I'll use it as weapon or something. I'm left in the black sleeved dress. I remove the corset with the dress still on, and I breathe in deeply, filling up my lungs for the amount of deprivation. I put my fingers in my hair, hoping desperately that the match didn't fall out on the way here. I search my hair and then see it drop to the ground. I pick it up and examine it.

I only got one shot at this.

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><p><em><strong>Next chapter coming soon. Thanks for any feedback. <strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**I hope this switching of POV's isn't too difficult for remembering what happened. This chapter is very similar to what happens in Mockingjay, but with stuff added. Yay.**_

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><p><em><em>(POV CHANGE) Peeta

A high-pitched beeping sound wakes me up, and I jolt my eyes open. I blink several times, focusing on voices and sounds around me. Where am I? I'm laying on a couch, in somebody's living room. I have cuffs on my wrists. I turn and see the rest of the team facing a screen. I sit up slowly and notice the very street we were just on, before the… I don't remember. On the screen, bombs explode and I see Boggs injured, lying in debris. I'm beginning to remember; the bombs, Johanna, Finnick reviving Messalla, trying to help Boggs… and then I see what I don't recall.

A camera from a rooftop displays my turn of violence. I dart at members of my own squad, looking fully intent on hurting them. I'm constantly restrained, but I fight them off. That's when I see myself being tackled by Mitchell and pushing him off, causing him to fall onto a pod. A net of barbed wire encases him, and digs into his uniform then through into his skin. He instantly starts to bleed. I'm taken hold of by Pollux and Castor, and watch as that monster of myself is being dragged along with the rest of squad into an apartment building. Black gel blots the camera, and then it displays Mitchell, still hanging in the net, covered in the tar-like gel.

I caused that. I killed him. I knew him briefly, and I killed him. I thought I was well enough. I was certain. I continually supported my case that I had to be on this mission; that I wasn't going to cause any trouble. I just killed someone. _How could I've been so stupid?_

I should've never of came here. They would have done better without me. And if I still succumb to the venom and attack people, I shouldn't be near anybody. I'm putting my team in danger, and that means I'll put Katniss in danger. Her especially, because the venom creates negative feelings associated with her. I am a monster.

I raise my head just slightly from my hands. On the screen, the former apartment we were in is on fire. It's being put out by firefighters, and a reporter stands in front of it all. She finally announces us, dead.

"Finally a bit of luck," says Homes.

"My father. He just lost my sister and now…" says Leeg. The report continues with the same footage over and over. It's too horrifying to watch. It only encourages my idea that I'm a threat to this mission. I can only think of one solution.

The screen fades and goes blank. Gale stands from the floor where he sat. "So, now that we're dead, what's our next move?"

"Isn't it obvious?" They all turn in my direction, surprised and unaware that I saw the whole thing. "Our next move… is to kill me," I say directing at Gale.

Perplexed. They obviously didn't expect those words to come from me, maybe someone else, requesting I die, but I know that's the only solution. Jackson scowls. "You're being ridiculous," she says.

"I'm being ridiculous? I just murder a member of our own squad!" I shout.

"You pushed him off. You couldn't have known he would have triggered that pod at that exact spot," says Finnick, trying to make the situation calmer.

"Who cares? He's dead, isn't he?" I feel overwhelming sense guilt and sadness. I fight tears, and the bad feeling in my throat. "I thought I was okay… I've never seen myself like that. I'm an endangerment to all of you, to everyone. I'm the one Snow turned into a weapon. I'm the one you should be taking out."

"Peeta, it's not your fault," says Finnick.

"You can't take me with you. I'll disclose your position or hurt someone else." Their confounded expressions make me go on. "Maybe you think it's kinder to just dump me somewhere. Let me take my chances. But that's the same thing as handing me over to the Capitol. Do you think you'd be doing me a favor by sending me back to Snow? It would only cause more problems."

"I'll kill you before that happens," says Gale. "I promise."

I sigh. "No, I'll still be in way if I go with you. I'll just slow you guys from finding Katniss. It's better done now."

"Negative, you're part of this team. You're an asset to this mission, and you won't be relieved until we finish it. You're coming with us," says Jackson. I'm about to argue, but she shoves a can into my cuffed hands. "Everybody, grab a can," she orders.

Finnick is told to open the can for me, and gives it back without the lid. They think I could use it to slit my wrists or something. Everybody is eating, when there's the high-pitched sound again. On the screen, Snow sits at a desk, on the same set. He talks about our squad finally being put to an end, and further boasts on how the Capitol will surely finish off the rebellion.

Then the screen changes. It's no longer Snow, but President Coin. She introduces herself, and speaks about the "deceased" team and all the effort they had put toward this rebellion. She gives a final sedition, and then control goes back to the Capitol. Katniss is on the screen. I stare at the screen, trying to read her emotions or something. Physically she looks fine, but her eyes give everything away. She sits stiffly, the camera showing her only from the waist up.

"_The rebel squad…"_ she begins solemnly. I realize she must have seen the footage. She probably thinks we're dead, but she takes a new expression of determination. _"They didn't die in vain! We're still in this rebellion, and we're not going to give up!"_ You can hear shouting in the background. Katniss, stands, her hands bonded with cuffs, like mine. Then she swings her foot causing a shoe to fly behind the camera. The camera is turned slightly, but Katniss speaks before it goes out. _"They plan to seize District 13! Assemble forces. Get ready!"_ She stands in a bracing stance, preparing for the white uniformed peacekeeper to reach her, but the screen goes black with the emblem of the Capitol.

Why did she do that? Why couldn't she have just played along a little longer? I'm guessing when she heard that we were dead, she was motivated to act against them. I'm afraid how Snow will comply with this. She's taken a stand again, and though she thought it might be the right thing to do, she's in trouble.

"Looks like we should start moving," says Jackson. "We need to be out of here, before they discover that our bodies aren't there." She refers to the Holo. The hologram street is covered in red dots. "It looks like the streets aren't an option."

"The rooftops are almost as bad," says Leeg.

Homes puts a hand to his chin. "We still might have a chance to withdraw, but that would mean a failed mission. So we can't move up. We can't move laterally."

"We'll have to find a closer entrance to underground," says Jackson. "We won't be able to reach the entrance we had planned. We're going to have to find another one, without walking out into the streets." She refers again to the Holo.

Two doors down, a vertical tube connects our row of apartments to the tunnels. To reach the tube apartment, we will have to go through a maintenance shaft that runs the length of the building. We can enter the shaft through the back of a closet space on the upper floor. Everybody hides all signs that we've been here. Cans are dumped down a trash chute, bloodied pillow cushions are flipped, gel is wiped off the tiles in the kitchen.

"I'm not going," I say.

Johanna scowls at me. "Snow's people will find you."

"Not if I have a Nightlock. I'll take it only when I have to."

"When were you given one of those?" asks Homes.

"Haymitch. I'll only use it if they find me here,"

"You won't be found here, because you'll be coming with us," says Jackson.

I sigh in frustration. Are they really so blinded? They may be tired of seeing people die, but this needs to be done. "Or you'll what? Shoot me?"

Jackson seems to growl. Homes speak up. "We'll knock you out and drag you with us, which will both slow us down and endanger us."

They're just making this more difficult. It's easy for them to just go help Katniss and leave me with a pill. Nobody has to witness me die. "Stop being noble! I don't care if I die! It would be better for everybody. I have a Nightlock, nobody has t-"

"Not anymore you don't," says Johanna. She holds the flask in her hands. "Tsk, Tsk, I guess it takes the edge off your problems."

"We're wasting time. Are you coming voluntarily, or do we knock you out?" asks Gale. I put my face in my hands. They're going to regret this. Taking me, it's a huge unnecessary risk. I'm not supposed to go with them, see Katniss, again. I'm just a ticking bomb waiting to explode at any moment. Despite this, I stand up from the couch.

"Should we free his hands?" asks Leeg.

"No! Leave them on," I say crossly.

"No," Jackson echoes. "Let them be."

Homes pries open the small metal door to the shaft. The film crew has to leave their shells behind, because they don't fit through. They still take emergency cameras, which are smaller. We all squeeze through the shaft and exit to the second apartment. We find the door marked _Utility_ on the second floor.

Messalla frowns at the passage way, returning to his little fussy world. "It's why no one ever wants the center unit. All the inconveniences, but the rent is considerably cheaper and-" He notices Finnick and Johanna's amused expressions and adds, "Never mind."

We all descend the ladder and reach the tunnels. There's the strong smell of chemicals, sewage, and mildew. Pollux latches on to Castor's wrists, like he needs stability. "My brother worked down here after he became an Avox," says Castor. "It took five years before we were able to buys his way up to ground level. Didn't see the sun once."

The rest of the squad looks cumbrously at each other. I step over. "Well, then you just became our most valuable asset." It makes Castor laugh, and Pollux manages a smile. A smile, that's what I would need to endure a place like this.

Pollux's knowledge of the tunnels is extremely advantageous. There's a system of wide tunnels that correspond to street above. It's called the Transfer, since trucks and such use it transport goods, so they don't have to get through the congested streets of the Capitol. There are not a whole lot of pods, and we move efficiently toward our destination. Sometimes, we have to go through additional passage ways to continue undetected. We go through utility shafts, and abandoned train tunnels.

Three in the morning, Jackson says we should take a break. Pollux leads us to a small, warm room, housing machines steaming and humming with levers and dials. Finnick and Pollux have the first watch. I pick a spot and lay down on my side. I don't think I'll be able to sleep, but the humming and warmth calms me down, and I fall asleep. Just for while, until I'm woken up by disembodied voices.

I jolt up. Pollux and Gale, who are on watch, look suspiciously at me. Nobody else seems to have heard it. Then I hear it again. It's hissing, which I can't decipher into words. "Did you hear that?" I ask.

Pollux shakes his head. "Hear what?" Gale asks. It begins again. It seems to echo through the tunnels, but instead of getting softer, it gets louder and clearer. It's getting closer, whatever it is. No matter how hard I try to listen, the words don't come to me. It gets louder, and then as if I'm in a trance, the words come out of my own mouth. "_You're dead_"

I'm stilled with paralysis. Gale walks over and shakes me. "What's wrong with you?" He slaps me right across the face, and I'm in control again. I put a hand to my cheek, but I forget about the slap. There's this odd instinct I have that we're all in danger. I realize we have to get out of here. "We have to leave here, now!"

"Why? What is it that you're hearing?" Gale asks.

"I don't know, but it's not going to stop till we're dead," I say with urgency. Gale gives me a confused look. He's about to ask how I know this, but I jolt up and start shouting for people to get up. Truthfully, I don't understand how I know this.

Finnick has his trident, so he gives his guns to Castor and Messalla. My gun is given to Pollux, loaded with real bullets. Gale hands his to Cressida, because he has the bow. And I just have my cuffs. Johanna looks strangely comfortable holding a gun, like she was born to. Jackson shouts for us to head out. We don't leave any trail behind us, so I'm guessing the mutts are following our scent. We trudge through the water, hoping to wear it away.

The echoes of hisses are can be heard clearly out in the tunnels. They sound like they're still pretty far away from us. They probably discovered our bodies missing from the fire, so Snow must have released them from the spot where they found Boggs' body. We have a good head start, but I'm sure they're faster than us. Pollux and Jackson take the lead, trekking a planned route. We cover a few blocks and go up to another passage to possibly throw off the mutts that are following us. We follow deserted train tracks, going towards the Mansion. We're pacing quickly, but then choruses of thick moaning screams start to amplify in the tunnels.

We slow down, and everybody in front of me looks in the direction of the moans. "Avoxes," I mumble. "That's what Darius sounded like when they tortured him." Cumbrous expressions are given my way. They all look uneasy at my remark. I was just saying.

Jackson snaps back to attention. "Let's move." Everyone begins walking again.

"The mutts must have found them," says Cressida.

"So they're not just after us," says Leeg.

"They'll probably kill anyone. It's just that they won't stop until they catch us," says Gale.

The screaming moans decease and then the hissing begins again. I can't help but notice the similarity this event has with my nightmares. Then it gets too similar. I recognize the voice of the hiss. "_Come back, help!" _My stomach sinks. The sweet yet strong tone, I used to hear. Speaking to me, making me happy, and causing pain. It's Katniss.

I don't know if he could tell from my reaction or he can read minds, but Gale pushes me to keep going. "Did you hear that?" I ask him.

"No! Keep going!" says Gale. He heard it. I don't understand why he's pushing me forward. Why he's pretending.

"It's Katniss."

Johanna and Finnick turn back toward us. "What are you talking about, Peeta?" asks Johanna.

"The voice, it's her," I say softly.

"No it's not Peeta. It's not really her," says Finnick sternly.

"How do you know? Really, it could be fake, but there's the possibility she's really there."

"What's the hold up?" shouts Jackson far up front. The rest of us in the back have been gradually slowing down.

"Come on, Peeta. We can't slow down now. Those mutts are getting closer and we have to reach the Transfer," says Finnick. "We have to get to safety first, and then we'll find her."

"It could be too late," I say in a low tone. Gale looks uneasy, he understands what I'm talking about, but we can't do anything. Finnick forces me in front of him to speed up. Johanna stays behind the group, making sure there's no more slowing down.

We find an entrance back into Transfer, it's scattered with pods. Gale takes them out with arrows. We continue walking, and then I notice something odd about a section of the brick road in front of us. It's cracked apart from the rest. "Wait!" I pull Gale back, by his uniform, but I couldn't get Messalla.

A luminous ray lights up the whole section capturing Messalla in it. He's frozen in it, and then he starts to melt. It's really horrifying. The squad has completely stopped, watching helplessly.

"Can't help him!" I say. I help Gale up and push the others toward the opposite way of the light. "Can't!" We quicken our pace and make sure to scan the roads for more pods. It's not the pods we have to worry about. At the next intersection of roads, a swarm of Peacekeepers fire their gun at us. Everyone stays in place, behind corners of the intersection and start taking them out. I don't have a gun, so I just stay covered and search the tunnels for more obstacles or danger.

"_You're going to die_." I begin to hear the hissing, even through the sound of guns firing. It's as if everything else mutes and all I hear is the hissing. "_Peeta!"_ It sounds like Katniss again, her voice mixed with the voice of the mutts. My vision is starting to get shiny, the guns start to give me a migraine.

_No, not now_. I squeeze my eyes shut and pull on my cuffs, letting them cut into my wrist. I focus on the pain, and then I feel my heart start to beat slower. _It's not real._ I open my eyes, my perception looks normal. Normal enough to see human-sized, reptile mutts. They're scaly white, merging with the uniforms of the dead Peacekeepers.

"This way!" shouts Jackson. We head down another road, Homes activates a pod behind us. A ray- like before- blocks the mutts on the other side. Some of them run into it, their scales melting. Finnick pulls me along to keep moving. "We're almost there," Jackson shouts.

We force ourselves to move faster, knowing the pod won't last forever. Then we all skid to a stop. Pollux points up to a ladder. "This is it!" shouts Jackson. Pollux climbs the ladder and pushes against the top. The sound of the mutts is beginning again, meaning the defense we had is no longer active, and they're close.

They're also fast. I spot them, just when Johanna has started to climb. Those with weapons begin to fire toward them. Slowly but surely, some of them die. Jackson shouts for me to go up the ladder. I can't argue, because I don't even have a weapon. Pollux takes my hand from above and pulls me up. I hear the remaining squad fighting to stop them. Cressida comes up, then Finnick comes halfway. I reach a hand to help him up, but he drops back into the tunnel. Pollux and I wait at the hole, waiting to pull more up. Please, more to come up.

Pollux shines the light down, and we see Finnick pushing Gale, to help him up. I pull Gale out and lay on my stomach to reach Finnick. He grabs my hands and I pull him up with all my force. Something pulls him from the tunnel. Finnick shouts in pain. I continue to pull, and Pollux and Johanna help. Finnick groans, but finally he's freed, and we are able to get him up.

"What about the others?" I ask rashly.

"They're not coming," says Finnick. "The mutts…" He doesn't say anymore. There are long deep scratches on his legs. We were barely able to get him out. I look around to everybody who made it; Cressida, Pollux, Gale, Finnick, Johanna. That's it. Jackson, Homes, Leeg, Castor and Messalla didn't make it out.

Johanna stands. She throws several grenades down the hole, while Pollux and I quickly put the cover on, and lock it in place. The platform we're on shakes, but it stays stable. I look around and see Gale and Finnick are injured. We find bandages, and we do the best we can to stop their wounds from bleeding.

"We can't stay here," says Johanna. We can't, even though everyone is tired and too discouraged to move.

Gale looks to Pollux. "How far till we reach above ground?" he asks. Pollux indicates that it's just above us, meaning the Mansion is really close. We're almost there. We don't have the Holo anymore, so Finnick takes out his paper map of our route. Just blocks away is the utility shaft to the Mansion.

I help Finnick up, letting him lean against me. We all start for the direction of the Mansion. It's daytime right now, so three quarters the way, Pollux finds another room, where we all break till night. Pollux and Cressida keep watch for awhile. I lay on the ground, far from the others, just in case I go mutt. There's so much going through my head. I'm hoping Katniss is still there to be rescued. I don't know what could have happened during the time of that showing and now. She has to be alive. We might have lost the baby, but we're not going to lose her.

"Are you guys ready?" It's just been a few hours, and I got just a few minutes of sleep. I open my eyes to see Gale standing. I get up from the floor and help Cressida up. "We're going now?" she asks.

"Yes, Pollux indicated the next shift change is just half an hour away. We don't know if they're still sending people down here, but we should move out of here anyway," says Gale. The squad treats their wounds again, and wraps them with new bandages. We leave the packs and take only what we really need, like guns, grenades, a few bandages. Water is passed around, and then we leave.

"What about your cuffs?" asks Finnick. "You're going to need your hands."

"I don't if I'm not going with you guys," I say.

"Don't start this again," says Johanna.

"I think it's worth the second thought! I'll still endanger to you all. You'll do better without me. Please, just get her out of there."

"We already lost most of our squad. You're an asset, remember? And you're going to help us in the Mansion," says Gale.

"We don't have the key to the cuffs. They're gone with Jackson," I say.

Finnick holds up his trident. He tells me to hold my arms out, and I do. I see the worried expression from Cressida as Finnick lines his trident in the narrow space between my wrists. With a quick thrust, my hands are free, and my wrists are still intact with my arms. Finnick grins. I'm given the extra gun that Johanna managed to save.

We enter a sub-passage to reach the utility shaft that goes into the Mansion. We deactivate the pods, and then we reach the circular metal door that leads into the Mansion's main shaft. Gale and I slide it ajar. We can already hear a siren, shouts, and yells. It doesn't matter. We all enter and climb up the shaft. We have to breech the next door, so we exit the shaft, plant a bomb, and we climb the ladder. The bomb leaves a hole that opens into a gray brick hallway. The sirens wail louder and we can hear guns are already being fired.

We're almost there.

_**They're in! Then big happy reunion. Wait, maybe not happy, but it's a reunion. Thanks for being patient. I'll upload the next one sooner. **_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**Happy Reading!**_

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><p>(POV CHANGE) Katniss<p>

I sit on the ground, my back against the back wall. I hold the match firmly inside my fist. I think over the plan over and over in my head. So much can wrong, I might barely make it out of this cell, but it's worth the try. I begin to think what will happen if I fail. I will deal with it if it happens. I won't go to that abortion freely, just hours away.

I've been trying to sleep. I could use all the rest I can get, but it's hard when your stomach is empty and your mind is full on running. I'm too nervous. I sing softly, and shut my eyes tightly. I focus on my breathing and ignore my thoughts. Soon I'm calm enough to sleep for a little while.

I'm awoken by the door sliding open. A tray is brought in. I test the food for drugs or sedations. It smells bitter, and I decide to just play it safe and not eat it. They'd probably put something in it, so that I won't struggle as hard when they come for me. But I won't let them take me. I'm not going to let them kill my child.

I wait for the Peacekeeper to come and take my tray. It's my stall of time for beginning my escape. The wait is agonizing. My heart is already beating faster with the nervousness. I'm going to do this. I'm not going to back down. It's what Peeta would want me to do, right? If he was still alive, he would be the one encouraging me, just like he used to. This baby is the only thing I have left of him, and I'm not going to let Snow take it. Thinking how Snow killed them all, gives me more than enough incentive I need to do this. The buzzing and noise of the gate, makes my breathing stop for a moment. I face away from the door, and lay on the ground. I pretend I'm asleep, as the Peacekeeper takes the full tray and leaves. This is it. Now or never.

I get up and look for any surveillance cameras. I look into the corners and notice a tiny mechanical thing in only one of the corners. It could be a camera, so I sit right under the camera and begin to rip the sleeves of the dress. I tear a piece of one of them. I find the corset and take out the strings. It's strange how they didn't take it. I could have easily used it to choke myself or something. I cut a piece with my teeth.

Using the walls, I step onto them and reach for the it-could-be-a-camera. Better to be safe. Using the cloth and string, I cover and tie it. Now they can't see what I'm doing. They'll notice soon, so I have to work fast. I rip off my other sleeve and tear it into a bunch of strips.

I take the match and run it against the floor to light it. I hold it in my hand for a second. There's no turning back from here. I let the match fall into the torn cloth. It begins to burn. The cold cell begins to warm up and the flames get larger. The fire reaches the back padded wall, causing it to blaze.

I stand against the wall of where the door is. A Peacekeeper will come in any minute, and my only advantage is for me to catch him off guard. I wait tensely, my body stiffly pressed against the wall, trying to stay away from the fire as much as I can. The heat is swarming and making me sweat. The smoke is causing my eyes to water and get blurry. It makes me cough roughly. I tie a piece of my dress over my nose and mouth. That Peacekeeper better come or I'm surely going to suffocate or burn to death.

A loud array of buzzes signal that the fire alarm has been activated and the gates have unlocked. That just leaves someone opening this cell. I'm starting to think; what if they don't come? What if they changed their mind about the abortion and using me for the war effort? Nobody would bother with the fire and they would let me kill myself. I wanted that, but not now, when I'm trying to save my child's life. Burning to death would be the only way out of this. _What better way for Snow to put an end to the girl on fire._

The door slides open. I take one last deep breath as two Peacekeepers barge into the cell. They look toward the fire, searching for me. I lunge at one of them with the string and get it around his neck. He chokes, and tries to shake me off. I hold on for my life. The other Peacekeeper begins to pull on me, but it only chokes his partner more. The Peacekeeper falls to his knees, and then his helmeted head drops into the fire. The other Peacekeeper pulls me back from the unconscious body and pins me to the wall with his hands on my neck. He's choking me, but I've been trained for this.

I lift my arm, twist, bend my elbow, and bring it down against the Peacekeeper's hold. While, his hands are down, I join my hands and push my elbow in his face. He stumbles back, and I take the opportunity. I reach for the nightstick of the unconscious Peacekeeper. A gun would be more advantageous, but they don't carry guns around prisoners. Because this could happen.

I hit the peacekeeper repeatedly till he falls into the fire. He tries to get up using his hands, but they burn on the hot ground. I take the unconscious Peacekeeper's ID card, run out of the cell, and slide the door shut. I lean on it for a second just to catch my breath. I run down the hallway with the string and the nightstick as my only weapons. I reach the gate, and I'm able to push it open. As soon as I do, an alarm is sounding. It scares me into running faster.

I use the ID card to get into the elevator. I press the button for the next floor. The elevator seems to go incredibly slow, and I can hear my heart palpitating in my chest. I have to be ready for whatever meets me when the doors open. A buzz sounds and the doors slide open. I run down the plain gray hallway, looking for familiar exits that I saw walking through here. I turn a corner, and spot a mob of Peacekeepers coming. I take a turn into another direction and run. When I pass a corner, there _she_ stands at the gate that leads to the continuous hallway.

I skid to a stop, just a few feet away from Dr. Odessa and the gate. I look straight at her. She doesn't seem to be afraid or angry. Then she does something that I would have never expected. She opens the gate with her ID and steps aside. The first thing that comes to mind is that it's a trap, but then I feel bullets fly past me, barely missing her. They are shooting at her as well. That means she knows there's an exit that way.

I dart through the gate, and keep running till I reach a turn. I look back just for a second and see she has closed the gate on the uniformed mob. She locks it with her card, but the bullets of their guns go through and meet her chest. Her gray eyes meet mine – an image of her as a young girl, smiling, with the jacket she gave me, pass through my mind- and then she collapses to the ground. I'm still so confused, but I can't stop.

I sprint down the hallway and find the door to the stairwell. I push it open and dart down the stairs. I just have to find a way out of the Mansion and into the tunnels. I'll figure out what to do when I get there. Loud footsteps and shouting is heard above me. _Come on. Can't you go any faster? _I step down the stairs as fast as I can. When I just a few steps away from the next platform, I make a jump for it. I trip, and then stagger up. The Peacekeepers are a floor or two above me. I look over the rails and see that the lowest floor is just two flights down. This new hope makes me go faster. _We're going to make it. _There's a pain in my side, but I can't stop. I'm almost there…

I'm halfway down, when the door slams opens. _Shit!_ Some Peacekeepers managed to get there before I did. I sharply turn around. I go up a flight of stairs, but the other Peacekeepers are up ahead. I'm trapped. Their steps get closer, and I'm trying to think what to do. I look over the rails. That's my only shot. I jump over and hang on the rails. Peacekeepers freeze, predicting my next move, and put their barrels in my direction. I let myself drop.

It's like it happens in slow motion. I have the sensation of falling, and hear bullets propel past me. I feel some graze my skin. It hurts, and when I land, my knees buckle. I fall over, and stagger back up. I only fell a flight of stairs down, and I don't think I broke anything. The gun shot in my arm doesn't feel much pain. That's what happens when your brain is too occupied with survival.

I get up and find the next door. I just have to get out of the stairwells. I push against the door and run down the hall. Figures turn the corner. They aim theirs guns in my direction. _Damn it! _I'm running to fast. I skid to a stop, but I fall and slide toward them. I close my eyes waiting for them to reach me, or feel a bullet. _I failed. I was so close. _

Arms grab hold of me, and I fight against them. I frail my arms around, my eyes still squeezed shut. "I'm not going to let you take me!" I say with gritted teeth.

"Katniss!" one of them shouts. I get myself into a ball, thinking it will be hard to grab hold of me. "Katniss, open your eyes." The voice isn't loud and panicked. It's warm and almost calm. I open my eyes slightly and meet Peeta's blue ones.

"Peeta?" I whisper. I'm completely baffled. The first thing that comes to mind is that I'm dead. Peeta is dead, so that means I am. But that doesn't explain why we're still in a hallway, why my body is still aching and bleeding. Death sadly, has not come to take me out of my misery.

"Katniss, it's us," says Gale from somewhere. I look around searching the faces; Finnick, Johanna, Gale, Cressida, Pollux, Peeta.

"You're dead," I say tonelessly.

"No we're not dead, and you aren't either," says Peeta. He smiles slightly and tears pool in his eyes. I don't know what to say. I never thought I'd see them again. I'm so overcome with relief. They're here. Peeta's alive. My eyes begin to water. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I let Peeta hold me in an embrace, sitting on the ground. His arms strong and warm, even through his heavy armored uniform.

Reality barges in with Peacekeepers storming into the hallway. They begin to fire their guns at their new targets. Peeta helps me up and leads me behind cover. He gestures for me to stay there, but before he leaves, he looks confusingly at me.

"You're… still pregnant?" he asks surprised.

"Uh yes…" I say dismally.

"I thought… they…" I can see the sadness in his eyes. He must have seen my interviews, and thought they had killed the baby. I never thought how everyone in 13 would react to my showing. "Never mind. You just stay here okay?" he says. He gets up with his gun and helps the rest of the squad. I'm very much still pregnant, uncertain what the torture could have done. It only makes this rescue even more risky. I take my torn cloth and tie it around my wounded arm. Finnick is shouting to the rest of us.

"There's too many of them! What's our escape plan?"

"We could go through the tunnels!" I say.

"No, we just came through there. We can't go back that way," says Gale.

"What's our back-up plan then?" says Johanna.

"We got to go through a ground level entrance," says Gale. "We just have to find one,"

"Got it," says Peeta. He walks backwards still facing the Peacekeepers. At the next turn of hallways he shouts for the rest of us. "This way!"

I run beside Gale. He gets behind me and turns back to shoot at the Peacekeepers following pursuit. Peeta seems to know where's he going, at least I hope he does. He walks into narrower hallways. We reach a maintenance passage. "This leads to workers quarters, right?" asks Johanna.

"That's what I'm thinking," says Peeta.

We run through the narrow passage and reach a door at the end. We enter a slightly more decorated hallway. These are probably the servants' quarters. The sirens are slightly faint here. We don't encounter any Peacekeepers yet, but that doesn't mean they're not still in pursuit of us. Peeta scans the room, and we follow him to another door with a sign. "Staircases, the elevators don't work anymore."

"Yeah, because I started a fire," I add.

I get funny looks directed at me. Peeta is smirking, despite our situation. "Can't see any other way the girl on fire would go," he says. Now I'm the only one who's laughing. They think I've gone mad. Yes, I probably have.

We go up multiple floors, and reach a floor labeled 6. Peeta and Johanna push through the door, and it looks like we're actually in the hallways of Snow's home. Peeta and Johanna are muttering between themselves, figuring where to go.

"This way? No, that we probably lead into the main hallway…"

"We should just keep following the smaller hallways…"

"Maybe there's a way outside from the main hallway…"

Finnick glances at me and then to them, giving a nervous smile. I return the same expression. We don't have a whole lot of time. I begin conjuring the path to Snow's study in my head, and what I saw on the way there. I step forward and look down the diverted paths. Peeta and Johanna stop their muttering. "This way," I say. "Snow's study was that way, and on the way there, I didn't see any windows or close exits. We can only continue this path and hope for a back entrance."

"You sure, Mockingjay?" asks Johanna. I nod. I'm not completely sure, but it's the best of what I could conclude from where I've been.

"Alright, this way then," says Peeta. I stay up front with them. Peeta makes me wear his protective vest and jacket.

"Peeta, what abo-"

"Just put it on, okay? It's protective against bullets, and it will calm my nerves some, if you have it," he says. I don't refute, because it's pointless. I put it on over what's left of the dress. The vest fits over my bump. We continue on till we reach a foyer with large windows that almost reach the ceiling. A loud siren begins to fill the corridors. Shouting and footsteps are heard a distance away down both ends of the foyer. There goes our exit. From the window I see we're just above ground level, but it's a 10 foot drop. Outside are a garden and a large courtyard. It's the backyard of the Mansion.

"I think we should try the windows," says Finnick. "It's our only way out. There's no way we'll be able to get past the incoming Peacekeepers."

"What happens when we reach outside?" asks Cressida. "There are probably still Peacekeepers out there."

"True, but we won't be as enclosed. We'll have a chance to escape," he says.

"Alright, the window then," says Gale. He takes his gun and fires. It cracks. We all stand back, and he continues to shoot till the window shatters. The cold air rushes in and caused me to shiver. Gale takes a long rope from his belt. He attaches it to the window sill. "I'll go first just in case there are Peacekeepers down there."Gale steps unto edge. He looks around and then climbs down. He reaches the ground, surveys, and shouts back. "Clear!"

"Go ahead Katniss," says Finnick. I step cautiously, because I don't have shoes. I get out the window and climb the rope down. My hands slide several times, causing them to burn, but I make it to the ground. Then comes Johanna and Pollux. Cressida loses her grip halfway down and falls. Gale braces her fall, but they both fall onto the ground. I walk over and pull them up.

"Are you both alright?"

"I'm fine," says Cressida.

"I'm good," answers Gale slightly strained. I look back to the window and see Finnick coming down. Large doors open and Peacekeepers swarm out into the cold. The team on the ground begins a defensive attack. Gale pushes me behind him. I look up and see Finnick has just made it down. I see Peeta beginning to descend the rope, but in the window a Peacekeeper holds a knife to the rope and cuts it.

"No!" I shout. The rope rips and Peeta falls to the ground. He hits the floor on his back, the air forced out of him. I feel pure apprehension, and run to him. I forget the bullets, the shouts for me to stop; my only thought is I have to get to him. The decorative walls and boulders block us from the Peacekeepers' fire. Johanna takes out the Peacekeeper in the window.

"Peeta?" I'm afraid he hit his head on the fall. His eyes are closed. I put my head to his chest. His heart is still beating. "Are you awake? Can you hear me?" Finnick squats next to me, his attention at the Peacekeepers. "Peeta, wake up! Please." I can't lose him. Not when I barely found him. "Please," I say again.

His eyes open slowly. "Since… you said please…" he says weakly. I'm filled with relief. I hold onto him, just happy he's alive. "Ow."

"Peeta, did you hit your head?"

"Uh, mostly my back I think…"

"Can you get up?"

"Uh, yeah." I hold on to his hand and slowly help him up in a sitting position. He puts a hand to the back of his head. We move behind stronger cover with Finnick. The Peacekeepers just keep coming. I don't know how we'll escape without getting hit.

"I think you should just stay down for a little. That was quite a fall," says Finnick.

"No, I'm fine," he says. I take his gun and press my hands on his shoulders.

"You just stay here, I got this," I say. Peeta is about to say something, but I turn away and concentrate on stopping the incoming force of Peacekeepers. If only I had my bow.

Gale is shouting out orders. "This way!" he calls. The squad darts in the direction of a tall railed gate. "Up and over!" We rush to climb over the gate. I see a bullet form a hole where I just had my left hand. It's just like gate in 12, I tell myself. I get over quickly. I pull Peeta up, and then we all drop down on the other side. It's a high wall, but not as high from the window. We're outside of the property, but we're far from safe. We're right on the edges of the City Circle.

It crowded with refugees. Everyone is too distracted with the chaos, that they don't notice us. Pods have been activated, from what I can tell. Discarded scarves and clothing are scattered among the dead bodies, which are mostly citizens. I pull the hood of Peeta's jacket over my head. Everyone else does the same. Peeta pulls the hood of his shirt over his head. Even though it sickens me, I take the shoes of a dead girl lying in the street. In my head, I'm constantly apologizing that she had to be the one to die.

I'm shivering with the cold, because I'm still wearing only the dress under Peeta's jacket and vest. I look around to see swarms of citizens guided toward the Mansion, for the promise of shelter. Peacekeepers force the people to move quickly. Children scurry alongside their parents. Then gunfire rips through the crowd.

It's followed by screams and cries of pain. People around us begin to fall to the ground. The squad all drops to the street, and scuttles the ten yards to the shelter of stone benches. I look up to see rebel soldiers lining the roofs. More rounds take down citizens and some Peacekeepers. "It's the rebels," says Cressida.

Another round of machine guns takes down a little girl and her father I see running toward the benches. Rebel soldiers climb down the buildings. They pour into streets and take cover behind vehicles, doorways, and short walls. I should be happy, but watching people drop dead, kind of makes it difficult.

I'm unsure what are plan is now. We've escaped the Mansion, I've been rescued, but what now? I can't help myself from thinking about the last request with deal I made with Coin; _I kill Snow_. I really want to be the one to put a bullet through his head, for causing all of this: for the Hunger Games, for lives he took, for making my life hell. If I see him die, I will be satisfied. But I probably won't. There's no way we'll be able to get to Snow. This team is already in danger of bringing me back. It's out of the question of leaving on my own private mission to kill Snow. My only mission right now, is to keep my son or daughter safe.

"We better start moving before the whole block goes up," says Gale. We all come out from behind the benches, and walk along the shops to avoid the army of Peacekeepers and rebels. Peeta takes my hand, and we walk in the direction of the avenues. Right in front of our path, fog unleashes from grenades. I can only see a foot in front of me, the rest of my surroundings thick gray fog.

"Don't let go of my hand," says Peeta sternly. I hold tighter, trusting completely on his guidance. I can't see the others. They've all been swallowed with the fog. Sounds of gunshots come from nowhere. Waves of boots are heading in our direction. We both break into a run. We can't see three feet in front us, and that's when a Peacekeeper runs straight through our linked hands. I'm pushed along with a panic crowd of refugees.

I pull my hood tighter, and face away from the Peacekeeper. I'm beginning to panic and I want to call his name, but it will just give us away. I continue in the direction of where we were heading. The fog is beginning to disperse. I see the outlines of people. I run toward the end of the block, and find the fog isn't as thick. I search the crowd and then I see Peeta. I run, not wanting to lose sight of him again. He sees me, and mouths my name. I'm about 100 feet away when a small explosion detonates behind me. Peeta begins to run in my direction.

A closer explosion knocks me off my feet, and I'm in the air for a split second. I see him yell my name, but I can't hear him over the explosion, the screams, the cries, the blood curdelling shrieks. I fall to the to the stone street. It slams into my protruding belly; right into the baby.

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><p><em><strong>Hope you didn't forget who Dr. Odessa was. This chapter has been on mind since like chapter 5. Thanks for reading and any feedback. Till next chapter.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	32. Chapter 32

_**Semi-Happy Reading!**_

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><p>Dread stops me from moving. My baby was just mercilessly slammed to the ground. I jolt up in a sitting position, and put a hand to my stomach. Oh god no. Panic keeps me in place as frighten refugees run past me. Peeta finds me and kneels on the ground. He holds me, as if it can protect me from what just happened.<p>

"Peeta…" I say with sobs in my throat. "The baby…" He must have seen me fall. He looks completely dispirited. I lay my head on his shoulder and he caresses my cheek through my hood. When I look up, he looks away and doesn't say anything for the longest time. He's holding back tears, I can tell. But he won't shed a single one, because he thinks he's the one that has to be strong. He's always trying to be the strong one that I go to. We might have just lost our son or daughter. He doesn't always have to be.

"We have to get out of here," he tries to say firmly, but I can hear his voice breaking. "We have to find the others. We have to go back to the rebel encampment." He gently pulls me up. He holds out his hand and I take it. We go in the opposite direction of the explosions, back into the City Circle.

I'm heartbroken. The shock of it is just waiting for me to break down. I feel motiveless and don't seem to care if I make it out of here. My baby is already dead, so I can die without the pain of knowing I'm killing my own child. My escape was all for nothing. If I had known this was coming, I'd probably let myself die in the fire. It would make things easier for everyone.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, I didn't really see it as a _baby_. Honestly, I just thought it as an inconvenience that linked me to Peeta who I thought I would never see again. But now, there's no other person I love more. It was Peeta's and my child, and now they're gone. Cruelly taken away from a stupid event that was caused by stupid people in the past. Oh, and their own mother. Can't forget my fault with the berries.

I owed my son or daughter the chance to live. That's the least I could do to make up for not wanting them and thinking it would be better if they were dead. I've failed them again. I could not protect them. My child was just unfortunate to have me as their mother; a young, mentally-disoriented girl, who is the symbol of a freaking rebellion. The odds are not in my favor, as for my child. I really thought we would make it. I'd want to give them what I never had, like a mother who will always be there, and not having to worry about going hungry. Dreams are crushed with the cruelty or real life. The Capitol's pod had to be activated, and I had to be right in the middle of it. Snow still got what he wanted. My baby is dead and I'm on the edge of completely falling apart. The pain is abdominal. This is exactly why I didn't want children.

We run adjacent to the shops of the Circle, staying out of the way of the incoming troops. I can't concentrate on where we're going. The self-accusation is stirring my thoughts. I just hold on to Peeta's hand, and force my feet to move. I don't really have any drive to keep going. I've already failed my mission. I could not save my own child. Snow already beat me. Even so, Peeta keeps me going. He's downhearted, but I assume that he thinks that if we make it out of here, that things will be okay. They will not be okay, but I act jointly for his sake.

Somehow we're reunited with Gale, Finnick, and Cressida. Pollux and Johanna are not here.

"Where's Johanna and Pollux?" asks Peeta.

"We've lost them in the crowd," answers Finnick. I see Gale scrutinizing me, but I don't return the gaze. It's off in the distance somewhere, looking at a little girl running beside her grandmother. "What's wrong with her?" I hear him ask Peeta. I don't listen to Peeta's explanation. I look around my surroundings and then my attention is caught by a flag pole. I conceive a plan for finding our missing team members.

"I'll climb that pole to get a better view. I might see them," I say incessantly.

"You don't have to, Katniss. I'll go," Gale says.

"No offense Gale, but you weren't exactly the light one when we climbed trees," I say. The words coming out of my mouth bring me back to the days when it was just me and him. No reaping, no Snow, no hunger games. I smirk slightly with the sweet memory. I want him to know I'm talking lightly, but I fail. I'm just too down-hearted with the thought that I'm carrying a dead baby. I let go of Peeta's hand. "I'm a good climber, you know I'm the best for it."

"We'll cover you, then," he says. I head up in front toward the flag pole. It's near the center of the City Circle. The closer I get, the more Peacekeepers I see. There's a sort of a barricade that squares off an area in front of the flag. It looks like they're trying to put up a blockade to keep back rebel forces. We're in the front lines now. Hopefully none of us gets hit in the crossfire.

I use the rope of the flag to help me climb. The icy pole burns my bare legs, because I'm still wearing the dress. I inch up till I'm about 15 feet off the ground. On the left I see the rebels coming toward the barricade. On my other side are Peacekeepers and musters of defenseless refugees, who are just unfortunate to be stuck in the middle of all this. It's difficult to spot Johanna and Pollux in the crowd. The pole begins to ring and vibrate slightly. I look down to see Gale hitting the pole with his gun, gesturing for me to come down. I slide slowly down, when up ahead a bright purple glow catches my attention. The activated pod forms a wall between the barricade and the rebels. It grows and blankets the street, reaching the rebel army and the blockade on our side. The soldiers and Peacekeepers caught in the light freeze, and drop their weapons. _What is it?_

I stay on the pole just a little longer to see blood gush out of the orifices of defenseless soldiers from both sides. Piercing screams come from the victims of the glow, and all I can do is watch. Gale begins to hit the pole again. I force myself to turn away from the scene, and I slide down the rest of the way.

"I… couldn't see them," I say dismally.

"We just have to get out here. We're too close to the fighting. Maybe we'll find them on the way," says Gale. I doubt it. They probably were already killed. It's painfully being realistic. They're just more to add to my personal list of people lost today. They go right under baby. My eyes begin to water again, and I can feel the tears in my throat. Peeta immediately comes to my side. He rubs my arms and says things I don't hear, but his tone of voice alone seems to comfort me a bit. I pace myself with my squad. I take a stray scarf and cover my mouth and nose with it. We rush through a mix of dead and injured civilians. One of them grabs my jacket as I walk by.

"Help me, please," cries a man with a gushing hole in his chest.

"I can't help you!" I say. I pull away from his grab. He might have recognized me, and it's presumptive that he's going to die soon. Another person I cannot save. "_I can't help you. I can't help you_." I'm mumbling to myself, while I follow the others. "_I'm sorry. I can't help you_." We hike aside the buildings of the main street that circles the large courtyard and goes back toward the Mansion. There are multiple streets that lead out into the avenues. The ones we've gone to have been blocked. I'm hoping they're not all blocked with soldiers.

We're about 500 feet away from the Mansion. Our group is splits up, so nobody suspects us as a squad. Gale and Crissda are up ahead. Peeta, Finnick, and I stay a distance behind. Peacekeepers are leading people in a barrier for protection. As we tread close to them, I see one of the Peacekeepers put a hand on Cressida, trying to guide her to safety in the barrier. My group stops a few people away from them. When Cressida pulls away, the Peacekeeper persistently urges her and Gale to go into the barricade, thinking they're refugees.

"Hold on a second," the female Peacekeeper says. She pulls Gale roughly, so that he facing her. I can see the recognition in her eyes. She looks from Gale to Cressida and then back to Gale. Crap. "Hold it right-" she begins to shout, but Gale takes out his gun and shoots her in head. There's goes our cover. Maybe they think they're just zealous capitol citizens. It's hard to hold that idea, when more Peacekeepers come to investigate what had just happened. They surround them from a distance, closing in on them. Gale looks to me for a second, just before he runs off. He mouths a single word. _Go._

Peacekeepers immediately run after them. Their guns blaze through crowd, hoping one of their bullets will find themselves in the runagates. Finnick pushes us in the other direction. "We can't just leave them!" I say.

"We won't be able to save them. Our identities we'll be blown," he says firmly. "All we can do is get out of here, and then send up a rescue later."

"It could be too late!" I counter.

Peeta puts his hands on my shoulder, making me face him. "We can't go back. Once we start firing, everyone will know that it's us. Peacekeepers will be flocking over to take us out. That won't do any good in saving them. What we need to do now is get out of here," he says sternly. What he's saying is true, but I can't stand to just leave them to be captured by Peacekeepers. Gale and Cressida could be gone by the time we reach the encampment. I've had enough of losing people today. Gale's my best friend. I can't just let him go. There's barely any hope for me to believe that I'll see him again, _alive._

"Fine," I say brokenly. Peeta's expression softens. He takes my hand and we start walking away from the entrance of the barrier. We follow the side walls of it. Through the heavy wood planks and fencing, I can see some faces of scared refugee children. Peacekeepers line the outside. Are they trying to protect them? Shouldn't they be sheltered in the Mansion? Running a distance away from the barricade, I see a woman holding a bundle to her chest, whispering things to her baby. I watch her intently as we run, and then she sees me. Her face takes on an expression of comprehension, and she stares at me. She knows who I am.

Even as I'm running, she turns her head to watch me go. I turn away and look forward. Then a large shadow darkens the street, and there's the roaring of a hovercraft. A Capitol seal is stamped on its side. The bottom opens up and small parachutes descend toward the refugees. They must be supplies, I think. The woman with the baby raises her free hand to catch one. The hovercraft rises into the sky. The refugees excitedly open their gifts, and when they do- they all explode.

Peeta and Finnick stop in their tracks. I watch as each little silver parachute detonates in the hands of unexpecting refugees. Limbs are scattered everywhere from the explosions. Dead adults and children lie on the white street, their hot blood forming red puddles of melting snow. As the smoke clears I search for the woman with the baby. No, she's not there anymore. Her baby is dead, but I envy her. They were lucky. They both got out together.

I can tell the Peacekeepers had no idea that this was coming. They yank away the barricades, making a path for the few remaining refugees. More white uniforms enter the barricade. From the bands around their arms, I can tell they're rebel medics. I watch as the hovercraft begins to descend slightly. Gas capsules are dropped to the ground. I keep my sight on a capsule rolling on the street, over limbs of the dead, and the bricks of a path. It's stopped by a streetlight. And running past that streetlight is a young medic with a blonde braid going down her back, and a first-aid kit in her hand. She kneels next to a crying child, and puts her jacket over him, unaware of the capsules that could unleash, who know what kind of poison, at any moment. No, not Prim.

"Prim!" I scream. I tear away my hand from Peeta's. I begin to dart toward her, calling her name. She attentively cares for the injured boy in front of her. The capsules do not activate on contact with ground, so I still might have to time to reach her. "Prim!" I shout. She catches sight of me, but already a small stream of condensed gas leaks from the capsules. "Prim!" I scream. She recognizes me, but the gas hazes the space between us and she quickly shifts one of her hands over her mouth and nose, begining to cough. The fog becomes thick and I can barely see her. It doesn't stop me from running to her, but unfortunately Finnick does.

"My sister is in there! I'm not going to lose her!" I shout with urgency. I'm fighting against Finnick hold. I even claw at his face with my nails, but he doesn't let go of me. Peeta has caught up. We're all just yards away from the gas that has formed into a massive cloud. My eyes begin to water as I lose sight of my sister.

Peeta looks to Finnick for a second and then darts toward the fog where I last saw Prim. Right he when does, Finnick lets go of me and darts toward him. He pulls him back by his shirt, causing him to fall backwards. "What are you doing?" Peeta says.

"Hold her back. Stay here," I hear Finnick say.

"Finnick, I-" Peeta starts to say. Finnick hastily pulls Peeta up. Then without another word, Finnick runs straight into the fog, holding a gas mask in his hand. The memory of the Quarter Quell runs through my head. I remember watching Maggs running off into the fog, and seeing her collapse to the ground with wild arm spasms caused by the poison. Finnick disappears, and then out of habit, I start to think that they're both gone. The gas seeps towards us and makes contact with my bare skin. It feels like burning, but instead of stinging, it's extremely cold. I inhale some of it, causing me to cough and my vision starts to get blurry. Peeta takes his gas mask and puts it over my face. He pulls me away from the fog, but I keep my eyes glued to where I saw Finnick run into it. I look for any movement or sign of life. I see nothing, and all that is heard is the whooping coughs, and machine guns in the distance. I start finding it hard to run. My legs become stiff, almost frozen. Peeta is beginning to cough.

We run slower and slower. The gas seeps under my jacket, and I can feel it stiffen my arms and inflame their wounds like an icicle in a cut. Peeta is coughing roughly now, and his legs are beginning to stiffen at a faster rate. I stop looking back. Right now, I should be trying to help Peeta. So with my new drive, I run forward letting him lean against me, and use my footsteps as a guide. I take off the mask and put it over his face. He's coughing too much to refute. I take the cloth I had earlier and put it over my mouth and nose.

I pull him alongside me till we reach a narrow street that goes back to the avenues. A lineup of large rebel trucks go past us into the City Circle. It looks like they're close to infiltrating the Mansion, so they're bringing in more soldiers. They pay no attention to us walking along the sides of the street, probably thinking we're just refugees. I don't know exactly where to go. Peeta is too lethargic to guide us back to where the encampment is. All I can do is keeping walking. We just have to get out of firing range.

Following the vehicles, are soldiers on foot. There's a mob of them coming down the street. I watch them go as I walk slowly in the opposite direction. My legs feel weak with fatigue and the freezing cold. Peeta is leaning a lot of his weight, which makes me go slower. I stop, and then I sit on the edge of the street, laying Peeta against the legs of a bench. He lies still, and continues to cough. He looks too weak and drowsy to keep walking. I sit next him, and adjust his mask. I think he's lost consciousness. It's alright though, because we'll get back and he'll get better. I'm going to make sure he gets out of here. He's the only one I have left.

Dr. Odessa, Johanna, Pollux, Finnick, Gale, Prim, my baby. Who knows? It's uncertain what their fates were. I remember watching the soldiers leaving for the Capitol, thinking that sadly not all these people leaving, will be coming back. That's reality. Gale and my sister are now in that category. I don't have the hope to believe that I'll see them again. It will only hurt me with disappointment. That's what I can't handle, so better to get it through my head now, and not be lead away by hope to think otherwise.

I've stopped coughing but I feel incredibly drowsy and warm. It feels like symptoms of hypothermia. The gas must be new. I've never gone through this before. I lean against the bench, feeling sleepy. My vision is still slightly blurry, but I can see some details of the soldiers walking by. And then that's when I notice a soldier with the Seam look. Even through the blurriness, I see the dark hair, and the gray iris seem to have no distinction from the white of their eyes. I stand up and force my eyes to look. "Gale!"

They're across the street, but I continue to shout his name. Could it be Gale? Did he manage to escape the Peacekeepers? My mind is telling me it's true. I continue to shout his name as he walks away. "Gale!" He turns around and I think he sees me. Yes, he does. He makes his way through the crowd, and when he's just a few feet away, I let myself fall to my knees and sit on my legs. I can rest, I've caught his attention. When he has reached us, I take in his appearance more clearly and realize it's not Gale.

"Rory," I say. I'm just as surprised to see him here.

"Katniss, you're here," he says.

"What… are you doing here?" I ask, trying to fight my drowsiness.

"Well, I've gone through training and arrived here a few days ago." He notices Peeta slumped against the bench his head down, concealed by his hood. "Who's that?" He walks over and squats next to him. He removes his hood. "Peeta? Is he alright?" He waves his hand in front of his face. Peeta's eyes are slightly open and notice him.

"Hey Rory," he says weakly.

Rory stands up. "We should probably be getting you guys help. Where's the rest of the squad?"

I keep my gaze down, feeling the emotions again. "I don't know," I say in a low tone. Rory doesn't say anything, but I think his expression saddens. I feel terrible for being the one to tell him that I don't know where his brother is. We both help Peeta up, and we start walking against the flow of soldiers. My vision has gotten even blurrier and I feel I might fall into sleep at any moment. Everything has literally become a blur. I just recall reaching some place, and somebody is helping me stand. Then I think we made it, and so I let myself be overcome with sleepiness and I go into the darkness and let it take me away from reality for a bit.

I wake up in sort of a haze between being fully awake and dreaming. Shadows are looking over me and sticking electrodes all over my body. Something cold and gel-like is rubbed on my arms. I hear the voices telling me I'm safe, but am I really safe? Are they just telling me this, so I think I am? A nurse's voice tells me a doctor will be coming to see me. Wonderful, another _freaking doctor._

In my dreamy haze, I imagine it will be Dr. Odessa. That she'll come to my bedside and start talking to me with her slightly annoying cheery attitude. She'll tell me about her army days and constantly remind me to take my folate supplements. It would be like my kidnapping never happened, like when I thought I could trust her and she cared for me. Well, I guess she did care about me, since she helped me escape and took a bullet. I guess I cared about her too. It's just too bad she's dead. That's usually what happens to the people I care about.

Still in my dreamy haze, I see the doctor is nothing like Dr. Odessa. Well it's a man for starters. I feel incredibly heartbroken, even though it's crazy to think it would be her. He talks, but I can't hear and then he gives me something to fall asleep. My dream is peculiar. It's nothing I would have suspected after my kind of day. After seeing so much death and pain everywhere, I'd expect to relive each horrifying detail of what happened, but no. It's about Effie. We're on a train, touring the districts. She's constantly telling to stay on schedule. I try to ditch her a few times, but she always shows up. It's only me and her and her clipboard, touring Panem. When I wake up, I find the dream freaks me more than the usual violent, bloody nightmare. I begin to cry softly.

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><p><em><strong>If you recall Katniss having this dream, good for you. It was my second time reading Mockingjay and when she mentioned that dream, I really felt like crying, more than any other part. Maybe it's because it seemed so normal and I missed Effie :( You'll find out what happens to everybody in the next chapter. Thanks for reading.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	33. Chapter 33

_**Sorry but I had to take someone. I was considering going with the book, but then you guys wrote why some of them shouldn't die. One person is gone. I think it's important when Katniss lost somebody close. She became all grief stricken, but she became happy... eventually.**_

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><p>Chapter 33<p>

I constantly have to remind myself where I am, and who I am. _My name is Katniss Everdenn. I'm eighteen years old and I'm in the Capitol. I've escaped from Snow and I'm not dead. I don't know what happened to them; Prim, Gale, Finnick, Johanna. They must be dead, along with my baby._

My new doctor, Dr. Aurelius, tells me that my only problems are the burns and getting the last of the trackerjacker venom out of my system. He lets me know how Peeta is doing without having to ask. He tells me he has some burnings and a minor concussion. Then he begins to start talking about my mental health, which sound like will take a lot more time to heal than my arms. He says I'll be receiving therapy, and then goes on about how I may not be given medications, because these antidepressants are not approved to be taken during a pregnancy.

And that's when I break. His unintentional hint tells me I'm still pregnant. My baby is still alive. I start to shed tears. And it's not my usual sobbing, but a crying spell. Dr. Aurelius seems to be perplexed as why I am crying. He immediately calls a nurse and then he tries to use his professional consolation to get me to calm down. I know these aren't tears of joy, because I am not happy. I'm not upset that my child is alive, either. I don't really understand why I'm crying. It's just because it hurts right now. I'm probably losing control of mind.

"How is that possible?" I say brokenly. "I fell. I fell right on my baby. I thought they were dead for sure."

Dr. Aurelius looks at me sympathetically. "The protective vest must have saved your child's life. Your baby is still very much alive. It looked fine from the ultrasound we did."

There I sit in bed, shaking with sobs, when I see my mother. The nurse stands a distance, while my mother walks over to the side of the bed. She puts her arm around me and moves the hair out of my face. She begins to shush me like when I was very young. I gradually stop the shaking, and then it is just sounds of my whimpering and shallow breathing. I look around, and see the nurses and Dr. Aurelius have gone. It's just me and my mother.

"What happened to her?" I ask in a whisper.

"Prim is here," my mother says. She's not smiling though, so it means something bad is to come. "They found her and Finnick unconscious, and they were both transported here. Finnick managed to save her from the gas. She's still alive, with some side effects." My mother breaks eye contact with me. "Finnick gave his mask to her, leaving him to be completely exposed to the gas. The gas that was used is deadly with a certain amount of exposure." She loosens her hug on me. "He died before he could receive help."

I feel I might be sucked back into my sobs. Finnick is dead. I pull my knees to my chest and my face in my hands. He gave his life for Prim. There's no way I'll be able to pay him back or show him how grateful I am. It's too hard to grasp the idea that he's dead. It almost seemed that he was invincible and too witty to die. Why did he have to die? He had just gotten married with Annie. The happy life they were supposed to have will never be made real. Why did he do it? So I could still have my sister? And when I'm supposed to feel happy, I still feel dejected. I'll never be able to tie a knot without thinking of him.

I lift my head to see my mother still there. My crying has stopped, but the remaining tears still stain my cheeks. My mother wipes my cheek. She kisses my forehead and leaves the room. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. I'm torn between the sadness of Finnick's death and the relief of Prim being alive.

The following day I ask my doctor for me to go see Prim. She's in recovery and there's no other person I want to see more right now. The doctor allows it and tells my mother that it will help with my recovery of the incident. My mother seems to be the only one thinking of declining my request. Why? Why doesn't she think it's a good idea to let me see Prim? Dr. Aurelius tells me I'll see her, but my mother still looks troubled.

In the evening of that day, I get ready to see my sister. I'm put in a wheelchair because they say I'm still in a fragile state with my pregnancy and all. My mother comes to take me to see Prim. She still looks tense. This only makes me worry if something bad happened to Prim. She's alive. That's all that I should be thinking about right now. She wheels me down a hallway and then we reach a door. My mother pushes it open and wheels me into the room. The first thing I see is a fragile looking girl covered in white sheets. Her hair spreads around her head like a halo and her eyes appear dark and closed.

"Prim," I say.

She opens her eyes. "Katniss? Is that you?" she asks in a frail voice.

"Yeah, I'm right here. So is mother," I answer.

"Katniss, I'm so happy to hear your voice. Where are you? Are beside me?"

"I'm right in front of you…" I say. "Prim, can you not see me?" I look to my mother questionably. She shakes her head. I look to Prim and notice the vacant look she has. She doesn't see me. She's blind.

"I… can't see. They say the gas caused me to lose my sight."

I roll over to the side of her bed by myself. I take her hand in mine. "You can't see at all?"

"I can sometimes distinct outlines, but it's all blur."

"Is it temporary?" I look to my mother. She knew about this, but didn't even try to tell me. I feel sort of angry at her. It's really not her fault, but she tried to hide it from me.

"They think so. They say her sight might come back in a few months or so. The gas had daphne in it which causes temporary blindness. It can also cause death if a lot is taken in," my mother says tiredly.

"Prim, I'm so sorry…" I say. How could have I let this happen. Finnick is gone and Prim is blind. There must have been something I could have done to save them both.

"It's alright Katniss. It will come back," she whispers reassuringly. She puts her other hand on top of mine. She gives a small smile in my direction, and for a moment it seems she's not blind at all. "I still kept my promise to you."

"A promise?"

"I'd made sure to be here before my nephew or niece was born," she says softly. A sad laugh comes out and I hug her. She's here and that's all I really care about. I think her words were, "I'll be the first one to see them." Sadly, that's not going to happen, but she's here. She fulfilled her promise to me no matter what it really was.

My mother sadly has to take me back to my room for treatment. I kiss Prim on the forehead and wheel myself out of the room. In the hallway, I find the opportunity to question my mother.

"How come you didn't want me to see her like this?" I ask.

She wheels me along past some doctors, and when they're out of listening distance she starts talking. "I didn't want you to feel any worse than you already felt."

I find her answer slightly irritating. "You thought you were protecting me from feeling bad?"

"I wasn't sure how you would take it."

"Well, I hope I acted well enough for you," I say.

"It's not for me, Katniss. Those doctors have been studying your behavior. They came to me considering finding another guardian for your baby. They're not sure you will be well enough to handle taking care of a child."

"I'll be well enough when the time comes," I say sternly.

"I hope so, but you and Peeta are still very young. You two have gone through so much. I'm all for wanting to see my grandchild, but just think if you really are ready. Having a baby comes with so much responsibility. I just don't want you to be like-"

"Like you? Go into a depression and neglect my son or daughter? No I won't let that happened to them."

My mother keeps a stern expression. "I hope it doesn't." She wheels me into the room, and I get back into bed. "I'll see you tomorrow," she calls as she leaves the room.

Along with the doctors, I'm get visits from Plutarch, Haymitch- oh and Johanna came to see me once. Plutarch basically tells me what's going on with the war. He says Snow was captured the day of the parachute bombings, and how he will be trialed. I don't understand why he's having a trial. He's going to be found guilty and be executed. And lucky me, I'm the one to kill him.

I think it's like my third night in the hospital when I see Haymitch. I've had a hard time remembering what happened in the Capitol. I've been receiving someunexpected visitors also, like one night Finnick came into my room and started talking to me about sea turtles. Madge was surprised, but happy to find me pregnant. My father came into my room and sung the Hanging Tree. He kissed my forhead, and told me that my mother was not to know about it. So Haymitch came, and he isn't dead. They told him it would help me grasp reality a bit more if he came. It turns out he was very uneasy about the whole thing: me being imprisoned and Peeta going off to into battle. He really cares about us, and I'm really considering him something like family instead of the drunken mentor that was our only hope of staying alive.

"It's strange, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I say dryly.

"The three of us, still alive," Haymitch says. "Truthfully, I didn't think I'd last this long."

I let out a small chuckle. "I could say the same thing." I turn on my side. "It's funny. We've been coming up with plans to save the other, thinking one of us will have to die, and yet… here we are."

"Everybody wins," Haymitch says sarcastically.

I sigh. "How come the good people are the ones to go?" I say lowly.

"You talking about Finnick and them?" I nod my head against the pillow. "And what, you're not a good person?"

"No,"

Haymitch furrows his brows, but he smirks. "Of course, because undeserving people are the ones that save lives, help people, and sacrifice themselves for others. You have gone a little off in the head, haven't you? You can't say you're undeserving of still being alive."

"I'm at fault for a lot of those people's deaths. Some of them died, keeping me alive," I croak.

"Because you did something that drove them to keep you alive. You helped people Kantniss. You were a real image of a rebellion, even if you didn't want to be. Your actions were what drove people to turning against the Capitol, and look where that has gotten us. The Capitol is no longer in power. Dead. Gone. I think you deserve to be here. Those people lost in the war clearly thought so. So, don't let their actions go in vain. Quit moping."

And there I lay in bed, thinking about what he said. Jackson, Castor, Messalla, Boggs, Leeg, Homes, Finnick, Maggs, Lavina, Darius… the list can go on. I should be happy to still have my sister, Peeta, Gale, and those who made it out. My son or daughter is still alive. And then they'll be born into this world, but it still frightens me.

Johanna was so nice to come and visit. Johanna tells me about what happened to the rest of the squad. She and Pollux managed to find their way out of the City Circle, assisting the rebels in infiltrating the Mansion. Gale and Cressida were freed, shortly after the rebels took the Mansion. They both received gun wounds and minor burns, but they're out of the hospital now. Cressida and Pollux were sent to the districts to cover the wreckage of the war. Gale is in District 2 taking out the remaining Peacekeepers. She brings up Finnick, and then she starts to get upset.

"I should've been there. I would've gone in the gas instead of him," she says earnestly.

"He stopped Peeta from going. He saved his and my sister's life," I say solemnly.

She lets out a sad chuckle. "What a Finnicky thing to do," she says. "But if I would've been there, he would still be alive and I would be dead." I stay silent. I'm not sure what to say. "Like I said, there's not much for me to live for... but Finnick! He had Annie… and a kid on the way…"

I'm confused at first, but then I realize that she's saying Annie is pregnant. Johanna lets out another sad chuckle from reading my expression. She gets up from her chair. "You weren't the only one that got knocked up, Mockingjay."

It hits me in the gut. It's like a stray punch from that girl, Enna, in the hand-to-hand combat station. Annie is pregnant and Finnick is dead. That kid will never know his father. I feel guilty, and I don't know if I should be. Finnick gave his life for my sister. I wonder if Finnick knew before he left to the Capitol. Did Annie know? I put myself in Annie's place. Pregnant and the father of her child, dead. I feel incredibly sad just thinking of raising my kid alone without Peeta. I don't think I could really bring myself to let of go of him, and make myself keep going. I thought he was dead, but it never hit me how I would be able to raise our kid.

"She's pregnant," I whisper to myself. "Annie must be incredibly hurt right now."

"You could say that," Johanna says. "Actually, even in her state of mind, she took the news better than expected. They feared she would go into shock. She's upset- don't get me wrong- but she's still mentally there."

"She's already doing better than me," I say in a dry voice. "I kind of was in shock when I heard Peeta and you guys were dead." Johanna shrugs her shoulders. I stroke my bump where the baby is. Annie is a lot stronger than we all take her for. She's somehow strong enough to return back to reality after going to whatever delusional world she goes to. Which I suspect has to be better. "You know, maybe Annie isn't mad. Maybe everyone else just is."

Johanna laughs. "That, I could believe." She walks to the door. "I'll see you later Mockingjay. Probably when you stick an arrow in Snow's chest."

Oh I forgot about that. I'm not surprised really. I forget easily now, but you would think I'd remember getting the honor of killing Snow. I guess too much has been going on. I really want to see Gale, but he's gone to District 2. Peeta is still recovering, and I don't think they'll let me leave again. I wonder if he knows that our baby is still alive. Would he be happy? Am I happy? Thinking that I lost my baby, showed me how dangerously it could hurt me. I haven't even seen them and already I was broken. What happens when they're only a few years old and they get hurt? What if something terrible happens to them? What if I'm not a good mother and can't protect them? How could I let them get them hurt, and understand that it would be my fault? They'll experience pain and I'll be forced to feel the hurt of not being able to keep them safe.

Maybe my mother was right. Maybe Peeta and I aren't up to raising a kid. If I do go into a depression, what would happen? If Peeta were to have one of his episodes, and I was mentally gone, who would take care of our baby?

_**Well there it is. Why would I do that to Prim? Because if I didn't kill her, then something had to make Katniss want to kill Snow. Yes, I'm sad he died, but I think some kind of bond between Annie and katniss would ease the pain it caused. Thanks for reading and reviews on your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.**_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	34. Chapter 34

**_Thank you for reviews! There's some Peeta/Katniss and Katniss/Prim dialogue here, which I liked writing. And there's a "maybe " clue to the gender of the baby. Happy reading!_**

**_disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games _**

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><p>Chapter 34<p>

Just 62 days to go. That's a close estimation from the doctor of when I'm having the baby. It's frightening knowing that time only gets shorter, and before you know it, the baby will be born. I've thought a lot about what happens after that: Motherhood. I'm very unsure about the whole thing. I'm so messed up, I'm afraid my child will be affected by it. It's all Snow's fault. He made me like this. I'm beginning to think I won't be a good mother… and so I've purposely tell my thoughts of the baby to the therapist. If nobody thinks I can do it, then why fight it? Maybe I am too crazy to raise a baby.

"…_Let's start with a list of good things that have happened. Can you name some?"_

_I sit there and look to my the bump that houses the baby. I don't say anything._

"_What about your sister? You seemed to be very grateful of having her here."_

"_Yes," I say. My voice seems to have a natural dryness to it._

"_What else?"_

_I search my thoughts, and keep my gaze down. "I get to kill Snow."_

_The therapist hesitates a moment before going on. He writes something down in his notebook and then looks with a forced smile. "What about your baby? It's a miracle that they're still alive, and soon they will be born. Are you feeling any sort of nervousness or excitement?"_

_I make sure to look blankly back at him. "I wouldn't consider it a good thing…"_

That must have got him. My mother didn't seem surprised when he told her about it. She did seem a little disappointed. I watch her and my therapist talk outside of door from the small window of my room. As he tells her of my session, she looks back at me dolefully. I look away so it appears I'm not spying on them. I fumble the sheets between my hands. It's for the best, I tell myself.

My mother comes into the room and sits on the side of my bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I say plainly.

"Good, I think you're well enough to go see someone."

"Who?"

"I think it might be a good idea to talk to Peeta. I think you two should be able talk about what you want to do and-"

"I don't want to see him now."

"Why?" she asks softly.

If I talk about it with him, he'll probably want to keep the baby. That will only make it hard to go on with my plan. It will be harder to lie that I don't want our baby. It will make it increasingly difficult to give it up, when Peeta is the one that got me to love it in the first place. I don't know how to answer my mother. She waits patiently for a reply that I can't make up. I can't say I'm feeling sick, because I just told her I was fine.

"Come on sweetheart, it will only be for a little bit. It's important you do, before you make any huge decisions."

I don't reject her hand to help me up. I get up and follow my mother out of the room. We pass the therapist on the other side of the hallway. He gives a polite smile in our direction, but I don't return anything. I too preoccupied about what I should tell Peeta. What if they've somehow told him already? Then what?

It's too late to think about what to do. We reach doors to the hospital cafeteria. My mother opens the door, but she moves aside for me to walk in.

"You're not… coming?" I ask.

"The doctor thought it would be better to just let the two of you talk," she replies. There I enter the large room, and my mother gives me a reassuring smile as she leaves. I turn back and look around for the room for Peeta. It's not really crowded with people like the District 13 Dining Hall. A quarter of the seats are filled with ill, afflicted looking people. I must fit in pretty well. I look search the crowd for Peeta. I don't see him, and then think of going back to my room. Just then, I hear someone call my name.

"Katniss."

I look in the direction and see Peeta sitting at an empty table. He gets up, and walks over. He looks tired and thin in form, but just seeing him makes me want to tear up. I haven't realized how much I missed him. I walk toward him and then put my arms around him in an embrace. He returns the hug, and all I want is for this to last. I don't want him to let go. I take in his aroma and his warmth. It brings back wonderful and painful memories. I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I've missed you," he says. "And they told me baby is still alive. I couldn't express what I'm feeling right now." He breaks away and smiles at me. I smile too, but I feel edge of nervousness creep inside me.

"They said we need to talk about something," I say.

"Sure, let's go over there." He takes my hand and leads me to the farthest table. I sit across from him and put on a small smile, so he can't see how bad I feel. But he figures it out. He reads me like a book, and I hate it.

"What's wrong?" he asks. I fumble my fingers a little to stall some time to think about how to start this. "Katniss?"

"Do you really want us to raise our baby ourselves?" I ask.

"Yes, I do. I think we could do it," he answers.

I want to put this delicately. I'm trying to think of the right words to say. "I don't know if I'm up for it."

He looks at me with hesitantly. "What do you mean?"

"I don't think I'll be a good mother."

"No, I know you'll be a good mother."

"How?" I ask in a strained tone.

"Because you love people so much, and you'll always do whatever you can to protect them. If that's not what a good mother does, then I don't know what they do."

I sigh. Maybe that's true, but there still so much else to think about. "What if I go into a depression like my mother did? It's happened to me before. What if I can't get myself to get up in the morning to take care of our kid?"

"You're not doing this alone. I'll be there." He's expression is serious. He really thinks we should be able to take care of the baby. Without doubt I can say he would do everything to be a good father, but things seem to limit us. We're not like most couples having a baby. They haven't gone through what we've gone through. We barely can find peace, and I know that most of the time I'm the one making Peeta unhappy. Like now- here I am pushing my point for giving away our son or daughter. I'm always hurting him.

"I'm sorry to mention this, but Peeta… you still have those paroxysms." He stays silent. I feel pitiful to be mentioning something like this, but it's true. It's one of the problems of us keeping the baby. "If I become _sick_, and you do also… then there would be no one take care of our child. You see, what I'm getting at? Maybe it's best that we just give it away. To someone who doesn't have the difficulties we have, so our baby won't."

"Give it away?" He looks offended and hurt. That's what I do. I always hurt him. I don't understand why he's in love with me. "You want to give away our son or daughter?"

"I just think it might be best for them." I say. Peeta looks kind of upset. He turns away as if he can't even look at me. "I was considering it because I don't what my child to go through anything like what I went through," I say firmly.

Peeta looks back at me. "They won't. The Games are gone. There's no more war. They'll be much happier if their mother was in their life."

"You can't know that. Maybe they'll be adopted by a really nice, normal, boring couple. They won't have to explain why their mother screams at night, and their father gets these rages. They won't have to know that their parents were part of the Hunger Games, and they had to kill people to survive. I don't want my child growing up with a past that haunts me every night! If they didn't know about us, then it would be the best for them." Tears are running down my cheek. I'm glad we're away from the other patients, because my voice has been getting gradually louder. I use my sleeve to wipe my eyes.

"What about you? What's best for you?" Peeta asks calmly.

I meet his eyes. I don't know. I don't think it really matters right now. I just want my son or daughter to live a life better than mine. "I… don't know," I say.

"You don't want to give them away."

"It doesn't matter what I want," I counter.

"Katniss, I know you love them. You wouldn't be considering giving them away if you didn't, but I think you, and our kid could both be happy. You love them, so why don't you show them you do. Sure, we have problems that most parents don't have, but we've survived through stuff that nobody else has. We can get through whatever is coming too." I look down at my hands, thinking of something to that would counter what he's saying. I can't find anything, but I can't let him change my mind.

"Katniss look at me," he says sternly. I raise my gaze. "You want to keep this baby just as much as I do."

"No, because I don't love them as much as you say. I never wanted children. I always thought of it as a source of pain, and a mistake."

He looks slightly hurt, but he doesn't let it last long. "You don't mean it."

"Yes I do," I reply.

"Katniss, you're a terrible liar."

I start to become frustrated. "I'm not lying!"

He rolls his eyes. "Why do you insist on not letting yourself be happy? Why?"

"Because I don't deserve to!" I look away and realized he got the truth out of me. Shit.

He edges closer across the table. "You don't feel like you should be happy, because you feel guilty?"

I'm trying not cry. I don't want to let my swarming emotions come out all at once, especially here. Peeta is still. I swallow the lump in my throat and force dry words to come out. "Most of that squad, Darius, Madge, your family… so many of them are dead. Not to mention Finnick." I take another breath. "He and Annie were having a baby. And that baby won't have a father, because he died in war that I jumpstarted."

I put my head in my hands. Calm down. Calm down. The guilt is too much. I hear Peeta get out of his seat, and for some reason I think he has left. Left me to succumb to my incredibly stubborn sorrow. I stay in my spot, and then I feel his touch on my back. I lift my head, and he moves the hair from my face, sticking with tears. I get up from chair and immediately put my arms around his neck, laying my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and I let the tears fall onto his shirt. "You could be happy," he says in a low tone. We pull away, and then Peeta places a hand on my stomach. And then almost a second later, I feel the baby shift inside to meet his touch.

He backs his hand away, surprised. "It's moving," he says softly. I take his hand and put it back on my stomach. I know he can feel the movement, as I can feel it press its small limbs against me. His surprised expression makes me grin. "It's moving," he says again as though it's too wonderful to comprehend. He looks at me, beaming with happiness. Somehow our son or daughter has lifted the weight off of me. Maybe I don't think I should be happy, but I should let Peeta be happy. He deserves to be happy after all he's been through. He's done so much for me, so I could do this for him.

Now I've completely changed my purpose of action. The next following therapy sessions I gradually change my attitude. I want to appear that I'm getting better. I'm doing this for Peeta, I tell myself. I still have the nightmares and sometimes I'll be found talking to someone that's not there. But I swore Foxface from my first Hunger Games came into my room, but my doctor doesn't believe me. I'm trying incredibly hard to get better. My mother says that it's something that I can't usually will to do. It takes time to heal, so there's still the possibility that the baby will be taken away from me.

I become physically well enough to travel out of my room with permission. My mother tells me that I'll soon be well enough to live with her in a room in the Mansion. She says Prim will be released soon. I'd liked to be out of here, but then I wouldn't be able to visit Peeta as regularly. I asked my mother if he could somehow come with us, but she passively discouraged it for now.

After my therapy session, I walk to my sister's room. I find a doctor shining a light in her eyes. "That's all for now," the doctor tells her. She gathers her things and passes me out the door. I silently enter the room.

"Hello Katniss." I stop where I am. Her hearing has gotten incredibly better. "I hear you, Katniss. You can't sneak in here without me hearing you."

"Alright you caught me," I say. I walk over and sit on the side of her bed. "How are feeling?"

"Fine. There's no improvement in my sight yet," she says. "So how are you?"

"Okay," I say. That may not exactly be true.

"How's my nephew?"

Out of habit, I put a hand to my stomach. "Good. They've been moving a lot lately."

"I say nephew because I know it's going to be a boy," she says.

"How do you know?"

"I have a feeling."

"Uh huh, and you think it's your Healer Powers that are telling you it's a boy?"

She laughs. "Definitely. My _Healer Powers_ tell me so."

"We'll see about that." I get up from the bed and look in the drawers of a counter. I open each one up till I find what I'm looking for.

"What are doing?" she asks. I don't answer, searching for what I need. Strangely I find it: a needle. I take it and then pull a strand of my hair. I sit on my bed and tie the hair to the needle.

"I remember seeing mother doing this when I was little. You dangle the needle by a string over woman's wrist and the way it moves is supposed to tell you if it's a boy or girl."

"Hold out your wrist. I'll dangle it, but you have to tell how the string moves. If it predicts it's a boy, don't say girl just because I was right."

"I won't lie to you," I say teasingly. I really am not going to base what I think the gender is based on this little myth, but I find it interesting to do. "So if it moves in a circular motion, it's a girl. If it moves back forth then it's a boy."

Prim holds the string and raises her arm. I put my left wrist under the needle. I watch it swing, trying to distinct the motion. I watch it move toward me and then away like a pendelum. "You were right," I say.

"It's a boy?"

"That what the needle is telling me."

"I guess I do have _Healer Powers_," she says. I get up and put away the needle. "Well now that we know, what you going to name your son?"

"I don't know…" I say.

Prim becomes solemn all of the sudden. She twirls a strand of her hair on her finger. "Maybe you should name it after our father."

The following night, that's exactly who's in my dream. I don't recall it, but thinking about Prim mentioning it brings a sense of familiarity from the dream I had. I don't mention it to my mother, but I tell my therapist. He didn't really say anything that I thought was important. No breakthroughs, just a bunch of psychological mumble he usually says. After therapy he tells me I'm getting a very important visit. That only means one person, and I feel the hate I have for her renew inside me when I feel her presence.

President Coin makes her ugly appearance in my room. Her hair looks completely gray and straight. She wears something like a woman's suit with no such thing as a wrinkle to taint it. I can't say the same for her face though. She takes a seat in a chair close to me. She sits stiffly in good posture.

"It been awhile hasn't it? I'm glad we were able to rescue you in time. When we saw the last airing from the Capitol, we feared you would be killed. District 13 greatly appreciates your warning. We were able to ward off a developing raid and find spies within 13. And for your work, I still want to fulfill that last request you asked. I am a woman of my word."

"Why thank you. I don't see you as anything else," I say plainly. She slightly raises an eyebrow. She must be thinking if it's a forced compliment or some kind of hidden insult.

"Snow's execution is approaching rapidly. Our new judiciary court found him guilty and is taking all the legal actions to make sure it is a just trial. That's how we want to start off our new government, no matter the crimes of the defendant."

"Will you be making up this new government?" I ask.

She stays silent for a moment. "It will be other representatives and I. I already have plans for this country after the reconstruction. I've worked very hard for this, and I'm going to do what's best for Panem."

"Of course you will," I say monotonously. "What are your plans, after Snow's execution and all the reconstruction?"

She smirks ominously. "I think you'll like this. I've already spoken with my colleagues and proposed having a final symbolic Hunger Games. The tributes will be made up of Capitol children directly related to those who held the most power." I stay still, making sure I heard her right. Her eyes show she's completely sincere about this. "Snow's accomplices have been trialed and await their death. However, the suffering in the districts has been so extreme that these measures appear insufficient to the victims. We can't have a complete annihilation of the Capitol citizens if we are interested in maintaining a sustainable population. Therefore, I proposed the idea of a final Hunger Games."

She grins slightly. "We were meaning to gather the all remaining victors to reveal our idea, but I thought you would like to know. So before Snow's execution, we'll take any ideas from your group, so that we make sure this Hunger Games will be a final warning to those who caused the districts to suffer."

"Sounds good," I say steadily. "I can't think of a better way to end this."

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><p><em><strong>She lied, just in case you couldn't tell on that last part. I don't like Coin or her wrinkled face! -that's the way I imagine her since she's old. "You could be happy" is an actual song I was listening to while writing this. Oh... and have you guys seen the movie? <strong>_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	35. Chapter 35

**_Sorry for the wait. This chapter is pretty similar to what happens in Mockingjay, and it's a little bit of a filler to me... but happy reading! _**

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><p>Chapter 35<p>

Coin wants to have a final Hunger Games. If she hosts another Hunger Games, what will keep her from thinking it should continue? She could easily use instrumentalism to start this all over again, and then start using it against the districts. I don't see how this makes her any better than Snow.

I can't believe I thought this was soon all going to be over: I kill Snow and I move on with my melancholy life. But of course not. It's very far from finished. I can't say we're safe, since my son or daughter could still be in danger. I don't want any possibility of losing my kid to the Games. I've been told so many times that there will be no more Capitol, no more Hunger Games, and no more war, that it was automatically just labeled optimistic thinking. I admit that I did hope it would be true, but it all turned into lies as soon as Coin mentioned her wonderful idea. The only way this can be truly be finished is if I make sure Coin is dead.

My mother packs the few things of ours into a bag, having no idea what's going on in my head. My sister sits in a chair, unable to help much since she's blind. She sits blankly facing a window lighten up by the sun rising. I stay seated on the bed, folding garments and stashing the few precious things we have left: the plant book, the pearl, the locket. Buttercup was left in District 13, which bothered Prim. Not that I would consider him a precious thing, but he's important to my sister, and my mother had to console her to think Buttercup will be alright back in 13. Yeah sure, but at least it puts Prim at ease.

"Well, we've got everything," my mother announces. "We should be leaving in an hour along with the others."

"Who exactly is moving into the Mansion?" I ask.

"Officials from District 13," she says. "And people who have a major part in the war."

"Huh, I guess that would be me," I say unenthusiastically.

"It will soon all be over," says Prim.

"Yeah," I say tiredly. I tie the bag close and swing it over my shoulder. I give my hand to Prim and we all walk out into the hospital's hallway. As we getter closer to the front lobby, I decide I should make a last visit to Peeta. I skip ahead to reach my mother. "Can I go see Peeta before we go? I'd liked to tell him something, before we leave."

"I'm sure you'll be seeing him often when he's alright to be living at the Mansion," she says dismissively.

"It's sort of important. I need to tell him now." My mother gives out a short sigh and nods. "I'll be back within the hour. I promise." I leave the bag in the lobby with them and begin the walk to Peeta's room. I just have to tell him about Coin. I can't keep this to myself. He's one of the people who would understand the danger of this. I tap on the door and enter the room. I see Haymitch sitting in a chair next to Peeta.

"Well, look who it is," Haymitch says. "Heard you get to kill Snow. Must be a dream come true."

"What are doing here?" I ask him.

"What are you, a Peacekeeper? What are you doing here?"

I don't answer immediately, because somehow I've lost my train of thought. "I was here for something…"

Haymitch slouches in his seat. "Did it have anything to do with tomorrow?" asks Peeta.

"What's tomorrow?" I ask.

"Uh, Snow's execution…"

"Oh right," I say. I'm frustrated at myself for easily forgetting what was so important. "It was related to that I think." I'm in my thoughts as they both wait patiently. _Coin._ "I remember," I say suddenly. They both wait for me to continue. I let the words come out as serious as they are. "Coin wants to have a final Hunger Games."

Haymitch and Peeta throw perplexed expressions my way. "What? Are you serious?" asks Peeta.

"Yes. She wants a Hunger Games where the tributes are children related to those who held the highest powers in the Capitol."

"Are you sure about this? Did Coin tell you this personally?" asks Haymitch.

"Yes. She came into my room and started talking to me about how the districts weren't happy with just killing accomplices of Snow. She and her colleagues were looking for another way of punishment, so she came up with the idea of sending Capitol children in a final Hunger Games."

"And you're sure that you heard her right?" asks Haymitch.

"Yes! I'm sure. I may be a little off, but I made sure to listen to what she was saying. I mean, the idea of another Hunger Games would get my attention."

"Alright, Sweetheart. I believe you, but what do you suspect we can do?"

"We've got stop those Games. We have to keep her from becoming the new leader of Panem, because if she starts it, then who is to say that she won't just use it against us. Just to keep murdering children for a demonstration of how much power they have. She could start it all over again for the districts too."

"You think she's like Snow?" Peeta asks.

"She's always been despotic, and she has thrown multiple threats my way to keep from disobeying her and keeping my influence down. Cleary, she doesn't want to lose her power, and she knows that I don't like her.

"She has threatened you?" Peeta is completely serious. "If Coin is afraid of being overruled and having her power taken away, then she's not fit to be the president. She'll become a dictator."

"So we have to stop her," I say firmly.

Peeta and Haymitch give me looks. "And how are we going to do that?" Haymitch asks warily. I pause, because the idea I have to say is pretty dangerous.

"I think the only way… is to kill her during the execution."

Haymitch immediately gets up from his chair and puts his hand over my mouth. "Are you crazy? Wait, don't answer that," he says in a stern whisper. "You can't be talking like that here. This is still the Capitol. We could easily be being watched right now."

I pull his hand away roughly. "It's has to be done. It's the only way- I have to kill her," I whisper earnestly.

Peeta stands up. "No, you don't have to kill her. There has to be another way to stop this."

"Like how? Coin is already the new president and she has a cabinet full of people that support her every action. Nobody sees how dangerous she is. They all think she's perfect for the job, but she's bad news. Nobody is going to go against her."

"You will. You're the one who has the point that she's not fit for the presidency. All you have to do is convince people."

"I can't do that. I'm not good at speeches like you."

"Katniss, you influenced thousands of people during the war," says Peeta. "There's no way they'll not want to listen to what you have to say."

"I think that's why she hates me; she sees me as a threat," I say.

"If she believed it, then you truly have a strong influence on people," says Haymitch.

"I don't know if I can do it…"

"All you have to do is to get people to understand," he says.

"And then what? Sure, they might stop her from being the president, but she has influence too. She was the freaking head of the rebellion. She could come back and make me pay for this. But if I just killed-"

"No, that can't be an option," says Peeta. "You could be arrested, or they could possibly think about executing you." I argue that I will have to, if this "influencing people" thing doesn't work. That I don't really care what the consequences are as long as she's gone, but Peeta stops me there.

"Don't Katniss. It's not just what will happen to you anymore. You have the baby too, and they'll be just as affected by this than you are. You can't be arrested… you have to be there for them."

"I'm doing this for them," I say.

"Katniss, please. Don't do it."

"He's right. You can't do whatever you want anymore. You got a primary responsibility before this whole war business. I say we leave it alone for now. You just worry about aiming straight at that ceremony," Haymitch says.

It's no good. Something is telling me that if we just sit around and wait, that it will just get harder to take care of.

It seems Peeta is reading my thoughts again. He puts his hands on my arms, making me face him. He looks straight at me with his ice blue eyes. "Katniss, promise me you won't try to assassinate Coin." I open my mouth, but I don't say anything. I'm split into two refuting sides. One wants Coin dead, and the other wants to play safely for Peeta. I don't know what the right thing to do is. "Katniss, promise me," he says firmly.

Haymitch is staring into me to answer. I look back at Peeta. "I promise."

I mindlessly return back to my mother and sister. We ride the train to the City Circle and then arrive at the Mansion. Guards line the outside, but they're not Peacekeepers. They have been replaced with rebel soldiers in their mixed-match uniforms. They hold guns on their shoulders, and keep stern expressions as the small groups of people enter the Mansion.

As we enter the foyer, I'm reminded how just days ago, my team and I were just trying desperately get out of here alive. It saddens me and makes me miss all of them: Finnick, Gale, Johanna, Pollux, Cressida. It's as if they were here, I would have another chance to change things- make them better. I squeeze my sister's hand and keep my gaze down. We file unto the stairs, led by a soldier and then arrive at our new temporary home. The soldier leaves us with a key and returns back to the foyer. My mother unlocks the door, and we enter a decorated room with a single large bed, and a plush couch. We unpack our things, and then I decide to go for a walk.

I explore the upper corridors and find people stare at me when I pass through. It raises my anxiety and all I want to do is get away from these people. I go deeper into the Mansion. It seems these fancy decorated hallways will take me away somewhere where I can just think to myself, like a sanctuary. I keeping going, and going, forgetting about looking for details to find my way back. I descend flight after flight of stairs. I gradually leave the fancy rooms and enter plain ones. The doors and furniture are less grand, and I think that I'm far away from those people.

I run down a hallway for the heck of it, open a door, and find myself in the back foyer with the windows that reach up to the ceiling. From a window I see the trim courtyard and gardens outside. I walk along the wall and then I find the window that Gale broke for our escape. The memory begins to replay in mind, and I see it all happen as if I'm just in an observer back in time. I sit on the window, letting my legs dangle. I imagine Peeta climbing down the rope and see the Peacekeeper slicing the rope with a knife. As Peeta falls, I see myself running through gunfire to get to him.

"Please miss, stay away from the window."

I look to behind me and see two rebel soldiers. _Dam it! And I thought I'd be alone_. I hide my sigh and get up. "Would you like us to lead you back to where you are staying, miss?"

"No thank you. I was just going through," I answer.

It seems he's about to say more about taking me back, but I turn my back and start walking away.

As I exit the foyer and go down a pass, I hear their boots on the tiled floor a distance behind me. I walk faster, and turn into another hallway. It's definitely déjà vu. I find a closet and I shut myself inside. I sit on the ground and stay completely still. Their boots walk past the closet and I can hear them talking into a radio about losing me. I wait till I can't hear the slightest noise of their boots, and decide it's safe to come out.

I continue my walk and when I hear people coming I hide in the nearest room, or behind the large curtains that drape the windows. I walk into a corridor that looks vaguely familiar. Then there's the scent. I stop mid-step and begin to feel sick. Roses. My hands begin to sweat and I feel the anxiety starting to palpitate my heart. I follow the scent and turn a corner to find two other rebel soldiers guarding a door. Roses are behind that door from what I can sense. All I want to do it take one for Snow's lapel when I shoot him. I walk toward the doors, but the soldiers form an X with their guns to stop me from entering.

"You can't go in, Soldier Everdeen. President's orders."

"I need to go in there…" I say dryly, waiting patiently for them to put their guns down. They give worry looks to each to other, and think about calling someone to take me back to my room.

"Let her go in," says a female voice. I look around and see a beaten up looking woman in a commander uniform.

"Commander Paylor…"

"On my authority," she says. "She has a right to anything behind that door." So they let me enter past the glass door and close it after me. A small glass hallway takes me to another door. I push the door open and enter a large room with a glass ceiling and walls. There are rows and rows of rose bushes in all colors possible. I walk amongst them to find the perfect one for tomorrow. As I snap the sheers on a white one, I hear his slithery voice in my head.

"Very nice choice. Nothing says perfection like white."

I freeze in place, thinking it's my mind playing tricks on me, but the voice goes on. "I was hoping you'd find your way to my quarters." I turn in the direction and see President Snow, sickly green and bonded with shackles and tracking devices. I guess he's being held here till his execution. This is his prison. That's why the guards halted me. And that's why Commander Paylor let me in.

"Well, I see you are still with child. I must admit I am appeased that you still have your child- that your actions have not harmed it. I only threaten to take it when you disobeyed me, but other than that I would have left it alone." He coughs into a handkerchief and spots it with blood. "You see, I was only looking at what was right to do: stop Coin. It was my failure to fully grasp Coin's plan. To let the Capitol and the districts destroy each other, and let District 13 take power with barely a scratch. I saw how she was using the districts, and I was going to demolish Thirteen. Perhaps maybe the districts could have ruled themselves." He coughs some more and wipes his mouth. What he's saying could possibly be lies, but I don't see any sign of lying. His words just support my new opinion of Alma Coin.

"Make no mistake, she was intending to take my place right from the beginning. After all, it was Thirteen that started the rebellion that led to the Dark Days, and abandoned the rest of the districts when it began to fail. I find it clever on her part to release those bombs and capsules and to blame it on us."

Blame them? Snow stares at me with his snake eyes, reading my expression.

"You really didn't think I gave the order, did you? Forget the obvious fact that if I'd had a working hovercraft at my disposal, I'd use it to make an escape. But other than that, what purpose would it serve me to kill Capitol children? I was going to surrender before the bombing. Without your image, there was nothing to continue."

"I don't believe it," I say hoarsely.

"We made a deal not to lie to each other, did we not?"

I take the rose and begin to walk away. I walk through the hallway and exit. Paylor meets me outside. "Did you find what you were looking for?" she asks. I hold up the rose in response and begin to find my way back to my family's room.

I place the rose in a cup of water. I sit on the bed and stare at it on the table. Could what Snow said possibly be true? If it wasn't the Capitol who launched those capsules then that means Coin killed those children, caused Prim blindness- she killed Finnick. She's done something like this before. She sent my sister to war because I didn't keep my deal of going to the Capitol. It was with purpose, and maybe she purposely chanced Prim to be killed, because that would put me completely over the edge. I remember her threatening to send Peeta to the Capitol and she did. I couldn't stop her because I was captive in the Capitol, but most likely she thought I would die and so she decided to send Peeta off to be killed. And if I didn't die, their deaths would be enough to hurt me- to drive me mad. And if I was pronounced mentally insane, then nobody would listen to me. Nobody would stop her from taking power.

The following morning I wake up with my mother smoothing my hair. I've slept on the couch while my mother and Prim took the bed. I look up to meet my mother's soft smile.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I thought you were deeply asleep," she says softly. I rise up and pull the blanket close to me. "You know what today is?"

"Yes," I say. "Snow's execution." She moves a strand of hair from my face.

"Those stylists will be here soon. Primrose and I will be at the hospital for her checkup."

"Will you be there… at the execution?" I ask.

"We'll see," she says. She gets up and kisses me on the forehead. She wakes up Prim and they start getting dressed. I sit on the couch thinking of what I have to do. I don't know if I should take my chances and assassinate Coin, or I should leave it for now. I promised Peeta I wouldn't. But if I did, the baby would be perfectly fine with him. I might be arrested and imprisoned for murder, but our baby will be okay with Peeta to take care of them. The sun shining in from the window catches the rose on the table. Its whiteness magnifies and it begins to hurt my eyes. I drape my blanket over it, so I won't have to see the dreaded thing.

I'm in the bath, when my prep team arrives. They barge straight through the door. Octavia begins to tear up. "Oh Katniss, we were so afraid when you were taken to the Capitol. We found out you're pregnant and… we didn't know if we would see you again! " I wrap the towel around me.

"It's alright Octavia. I'm fine now." She hugs me, and lets her tears mix with the water on my shoulders.

"We're just so happy to see you alright. And your poor little mini you," says Flavius. He wipes his eyes delicately. "Oh these tears will mess up my only liner." He laughs at himself.

"Let's get you ready for your final show as the Mockingjay, shall we?" says Venia.

I nod and they begin their magic. They use the lightest of makeup, but still manage to cover my scars and blemishes of the poison gas and the gun wounds. They cut the damaged ends of my hair, but it still looks long. I enter the bedroom where my outfit lays, but that's not what catches my attention. There _she_ sits in a chair with metallic gold wig and her leather heels, holding a clip board.

"Effie," I say.

"Hello Katniss," She kisses me on the cheek just a normally as before. "Well it looks like we've got another big, big, big day ahead of us. So why don't you finish your prep and I'll just pop over and check on the arrangements."

"Okay," I say surprisingly casual. Effie leaves the room with her clacking heels.

"How about we get your outfit on?" says Venia. I nod and she goes over to take it from the bed. She holds it up for me to see. I let out a small nervous laugh at the sight of it. It looks like a simplified, casual version of my Mockingjay suit. The really big difference is the flowing black top that tightens under my chest and flows down to comfortably clothe a baby bump.

"We'd figure you be more comfortable in this," she says.

"Uh yeah, and I guess it's no secret that I'm pregnant." Venia smiles and shakes her head. She helps me put it on, and I find a question important for asking.

"Who designed this?" I ask.

"Well, when we found out you were pregnant; Fulvia took the job of making you a new suit. She tried to put in details of Cinna, because he does things so magnificently… but she came out with this. It's not bad."

"No, it's great. It's very comfy," I say. Venia smiles, and then there's a knock on the door. Octavia opens the door and there stands Gale.

"Can I have a minute with Katniss?" he asks. After awkwardly bumping into each other, the prep team closets themselves in the bathroom. Gale stands next to me and we look at our reflections in the mirror. I search for something to hold on to, some sign of the girl and the boy who met by chance in the woods five years ago and became inseparable. I wonder what would happened if the girl was never reaped. Never spoke to the boy with bread, never went to the Games. Would she have fallen in love with this boy and run away to the woods? I can't even imagine it. What I really see is a boy and girl barely trying to keep their companionship together. There is no romantic love, just the love that a girl has for him to keep their friendship, but she fears that even that is slipping away.

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><p><em><strong>Yay Effie. And I know I kind of ended it the chapter oddly, but I didn't want it to be too long. The next chapter is better, I promise. Thanks for reading!<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**Sorry for gramatical errors, if any. Happy Reading!**_

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><p>Chapter 36<p>

"What happens after this?" I ask to our reflections. Gale stands beside me, our eyes not meeting in the mirror.

"After everything is done, you'll have your baby and probably live back in 12 with Mellark," Gale answers steadily.

"And what about you?" I ask. He lets out a long breath. There's a pause from this, as I think that things won't ever be like they used to between us. "You're not going back, are you?"

"No, I'm going to District 2." I meet his eyes in the mirror, but they don't shy away. They're always so strong and serious. "You have a life with Mellark and the baby, and I don't think I'll fit so well in it."

"Why not?" I say.

"Your life will change drastically. You will change. I'll change. Let's face it, we're not the same kids hunting in the woods together. You'll be busy with your life and I have to go find mine."

"I still want you part of my life," I say.

"I'd liked to be, but I have my opportunity in Two, and there's really nothing for me back in Twelve."

"What about your family?"

"They'll be fine. They don't need me anymore. I don't have to hunt for food to keep them from starving." He gives me a small smile, but it doesn't lighten the situation for me much. Gale moves toward the dresser. He takes the pin and puts it on my uniform.

"Where did you get this anyway?" he asks.

"Madge gave it to me before my first Hunger Games," I answer.

"Madge…" he says solemnly. I let out a sigh, as I think of the day she gave it to me. We sold strawberries to her that morning, and then she appeared at the Justice Building to say goodbye. She was the only friend of mine that was girl. She was quiet, and different than other girls. She didn't talk about boys or clothes, which was one of the little things why we became friends. She gave me the pin, and then she gave me a name. I miss her dearly.

"When are you going to Two?" I ask while he finishes fastening the pin.

"Tomorrow," he replies.

"And that will probably be it, won't it?" I say dismally.

Gale pauses and stays solemn. He's always been straightforward. "Yes, I probably won't see you… for awhile." I look straight at myself in the mirror. What he means is we probably won't ever see each other in person again. Gale stands slightly in front of me. "You know I love you, Katniss. You were my best friend. I thought maybe there could have been more between us, but I figured out you loved Peeta way before you told me you did." He shuffles to the side.

"He's a good guy, although I did want to kill him for getting you pregnant. Even when he was hijacked." He says this completely serious, but then he smirks, and I let the corners of my mouth curve upward. "I wouldn't trust anyone else to take care of you, so I'm glad you chose him."

I'm getting that feeling in my throat, but I find it stupid to cry right now. I'm blaming it on the hormones. Gale takes a sheath leaning against the wardrobe. He helps me put it over my shoulder, and then I notice only a single arrow sticking out from it. "There's only one arrow," I say.

"It's supposed to be symbolic. You firing the last shot of the war," he says.

"What if I miss?"

"You won't miss." He adjusts the sheath on my shoulder. "You never miss." He smiles, probably recalling the times of hunting in the woods. Just the two of us, hunting for our families. We were a team, and now this might be the last time I see him. My best friend will leave. And so I think that I can tell him one final secret between two dispersing friends. Right now, he's still my hunting partner and so I want to tell him the situation that disturbing me. We still help each other.

"Gale, I want to ask you for some last final advice."

"Sure," he says casually. "What is it?"

I lower my voice just enough so that he can hear me. "Coin is planning another Hunger Games." Gale looks from calm to angry instantly, but he doesn't say anything. So I continue after I take a deep breath. "She has threatened me with the lives of people that I love, she's planning a Hunger Games for Capitol children, and I have evidence to suspect she was the one who ordered the bombing on the children, and used the poisonous gas that killed Finnick and blinded Prim."

"You're saying she can't be president."

"Yes. Coin is bad news. She's just as bad as Snow. She can't be put into power."

"And knowing you…" Gale starts. "You want to assassinate her."

I nod my head slightly. "I think it's the only way, but Haymitch and Peeta told me not to do it. Peeta made me swear not to."

"Coin does need to be stopped, but Peeta is right. You shouldn't do it."

"Then what do we do? Just wait, till she decides to hurt people? She'll do it. She'll do it to keep her role of president."

Gale seems to be thinking. He looks toward the window and says nothing. I start to get impatient and just want a reply from him. He looks back to me. "I've got a plan, okay? I'll tell you it after the execution."

"What? After?"

"Don't worry. It'll fix this."

"It's not me making a speech is it?"

"No, it's not. Just trust me okay?" I nod in slight frustration. "Alright then, see you later. Shoot straight," he says.

He kisses me on the cheek and rushes out of the room. I'm left there in the middle of room, my thoughts running through my head. I remember the stylists are still in the bathroom, so I grab the rose and open the door to find them all sitting on the side of the tub. "Come on," I tell them. "We've got an audience waiting."

We don't go straight to the site of the execution. We're taken to a room for a meeting. I don't have to guess who will be hosting it. I enter a room with a table where Annie, Johanna, Enbora, Beetee, Peeta, and Haymitch sit. I take a seat between Beetee and Annie. I meet Peeta's and Haymitch's eyes, because we already know what this is about.

"Now that all of our remaining victors are here, we will begin the meeting," starts Coin.

"We're all that's left?" I ask.

"The price of celebrity," says Beetee. "We were targeted from both sides. The Capitol killed the victors they suspected of being rebels. The rebels killed those thought to be allied with the Capitol."

Johanna scowls at Enobaria. "So what's she doing here?"

"She is protected under what we call the Mockingjay Deal," says Coin. "Wherein Katniss Everdeen agreed to support the rebels in exchange for captured victors' immunity. Katniss has upheld her side of the bargain, and so shall we." Coin takes a seat at the head of the table. Her minions stand around. "We've asked you here for opinion and you help in the plan of how we will punish the Capitol for the losses they caused. So in the previous weeks, hundreds of Snow's accomplices in the oppression of Panem have been tried and now await their executions. However, it seems to be insufficient to the districts for their heavy losses. They asked for a complete annihilation of those who held Capitol citizenship. However, in interest of maintaining a sustainable population, we cannot afford this."

Okay, so now she's reeling everybody in thinking that whatever she has proposed, that it will be far less cruel than a complete annihilation. I meet Peeta's eyes, and he has the same expression of soberness.

"So, an alternative has been placed on the table. My colleagues and I have come up with a solution that will satisfy the victims of the war, and equally punish those who worked for the Capitol," says Coin. "What has been proposed is that in lieu of eliminating the entire Capitol population, we have a final, symbolic Hunger Games, using the children directly related to those who held the most power."

Four of us have surprised faces. "What?" Johanna says.

"We hold another Hunger Games using Capitol children," says Coin. "We understand the suffering and pain with becoming a victor of the Hunger Games is unimaginable and we assumed that a Hunger Games with Capitol children will satisfy the vengefulness of our oppressed. Look at it this way. It's the final turn to use their own game against them. They have oppressed the districts for years, and it's finally our turn to make them pay for what they have done. This is how we finish it. This is our final stand against them."

Unfortunately, not all of the victors think it's a bad idea. Johanna and Enobaria seem to be contempt with Coin's Hunger Games, while Beetee and Annie are still about sane, and look disapprovingly. But there's not much we can do.

"So now that brings us to our subject of the matter. We would like the victors to be the ones to take part in the production of the Games."

"What do you mean?" asks Peeta.

"You will be the ones hosting it, as you would say. Nobody's knows the Games better than you all."

"And that's exactly why we shouldn't have them!" exclaims Annie. There goes the first outburst. Coin looks at her with a frown. "We can't have another Hunger Games. The fear and sorrow that comes with it every year is too-"

"Mrs. Odair, believe me when I say that there only will be one. A final one. If you do not wish to take part in it, then we will exclude you from it."

Annie is still upset, but she says nothing and looks into her lap. I'd like to join in yelling at Coin for what a evil hag she truly is, but that will give away my intentions of trying to stop her. I just have to play along, even thought it really _kills_ me.

"The victors will also help in the actual production of the Games, as well as being the hosts. You'll be the representatives of the districts, of our new country. I hope you all will contribute your part in our final stand. Panem would greatly appreciate it, along with all that you have done," says Coin. She looks around at all of us with a satisfied expression. "Very well then, we have the execution to attend to."

I can feel Coin's eyes on me, as everyone gets up to leave. I grab the rose from the table and get out the room. Peeta catches up next me. He walks along side me, but remains facing forward. "Remember you swore, Katniss. It's for our baby."

"I know," I say. "I won't break my word."

He intertwines his hand around mine as we walk. When we have to part different ways, he lets go and follows Haymitch. He looks back just for a second before he goes outside. The baby inside me begins to move, which I think it's because my heart is beating faster. Flavius retouches my makeup while Plutarch goes over instructions. I'm guided to the front doors of the mansion. I can see the City Circle is crowded with people on the streets. Guards, officials, rebel leaders, and victors take their places outside. I can hear the crowd begin to cheer when Coin makes her appearance. Effie taps me on the shoulder, which is my cue to go outside. I walk to where I'm supposed to and wait. When they march Snow out the door, the crowd goes insane. They secure his hands behind a post a distance from me. No wonder no one bothered to have me practice. He's ten yards away.

I take the arrow from behind me, raise my bow, and stretch it. My eyes scope out the white rose in his lapel over his heart. _This is what I've been waiting for. I fire the arrow to end that bastard's life. _I look into his eyes, looking for a sign of anything, fear, remorse, anger. But there's only the same sly smile, as if he finds this all amusing. I'm going to get rid of that grin. His eyes look slighlty upward, and I know what he's trying to do. Before I let go, my eyes hestitantly scan my surroundings. I see Coin is on the balcony. I see Haymitch staring right into me. I look around for Gale, but I don't see him. You know, I could just do it; kill Coin. Adjust my arrow upward and make it all end right here. But I don't. I promised Peeta, and it's an unspoken promise to my child. I go back to concentrating on the rose. Sounds of the crowd mutes in my head, and all I hear is my steady breathing. My hand releases the arrow and I watch it fly into Snow's heart. It pierces through him, and he falls forward to the ground.

There, he's dead. I killed him. Piercing screams and yells jolt my gaze from Snow, and I'm wondering why are they screaming for me killing Snow? I scan the area and see it's not Snow's killing that's causing the screams. It's Coin's.

I look up toward the balcony where she stands. An arrow is in her chest. She falls forward and over the balcony. She falls and plunges into the ground, dead.

Guards rush to where Coin's body lays. Guards are coming for me too, but I don't understand why. Everyone clearly saw me shoot the arrow into Snow, and I only had one. How could I have killed her? And the more important question; who did kill her? The guards grab hold of my arms. I see Peeta rushing towards me. I look around and see the crowd is dispersing in all directions with the chaos of the murdering of the president. The large screens show the replaying of the mysterious arrow going to Coin. From the video, they are able to tell what direction it came from. Cameras zoom in on a building, but I don't see who it is. The guards block my view and push me into the mansion. Peeta is suddenly at my side.

"Why are you arresting her? She couldn't have done it," he says sternly.

"She is under suspicion of being an accomplice. The arrow appears to be from a set of her possession," says the guard.

"What?" I say.

"Sorry soldier, you have to come with us."

"I'm going with her," says Peeta.

"Negative soldier, she's the only one who is being questioned."

Haymitch appears out of nowhere along with the commander I met earlier named Paylor. "He has the right to accompany her. He will not cause a disturbance. She is his wife, so it perfectly normal for him to go along," Command Paylor says.

Peeta and I aren't really married, as far as everyone who saw our interview knows, but I don't think pointing that out will help my case. She probably knows that's a lie.

"Alright," says the guard. "This way." The guard walks us to a lower level, and when we reach a room, Peeta is asked to wait outside while I'm being questioned. He listens, but he stands right next to entrance. My bow is taken away and I'm seated in a chair at a table. A guard questions me about the other arrow, and if I heard of anyone speaking of planning a conspiracy. I answer negatively to all his questions, because I'm really the only person I know who wanted to kill Coin. I'm concluded to be not guilty, but their talking and clues have led them to believe that Gale killed Coin.

Gale.

When they ask me if I think Gale did it, I say I couldn't think of him doing it. But I know. He probably did do it. So much for waiting after the execution. That was probably his plan all along: to kill Coin while I kill Snow. He lied to me, but I guess he did it to so I wouldn't even be tempted to do it myself. But look where he's at right now. He's wanted for murdering the president.

After what seems like hours, I'm finally released from questioning. Peeta meets me when I exit the room. He holds onto one of my hands. "Are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine," I reply. Actually, the uncertainty of what's going to happen to Gale is occupying my thoughts right now, but I'm too emotionally exhausted. "I'm just a little tired."

"I'll walk you back to your room," he says. I let his warm hand hold mine, and lead me back to the room where my family is staying.

"They think Gale did it," I say in a hushed tone.

"And you are the one who knows if that's true or not," Peeta says just as soft.

I sigh and nod. "I told him. Maybe I shouldn't have."

"What did he say?"

"He said he had a plan, and that he would tell me about it after the execution. He told me not to kill Coin either," I say.

Peeta keeps a sober expression. "You were still thinking about."

"I was, but that promise kept running in my head. You were right," I say. "But Gale… he said he was going to District 2, but this could ruin his opportunity. He could be jailed, or they could…" I stop there because the thought of his execution frightens me.

Peeta holds me close to him. "It was his choice. He's a smart guy, so he must have thought it all through before he decided to do it. All we can do right now is support him by why he did it. You have evidence of why Coin was a bad leader. You still have a chance to help him."

I break away from his arms, and hold onto one of his hands. He unlocks the door for me and we find that my mother and Prim aren't here. "Stay for a little while, please," I say.

He looks toward the door, but then he nods. "Okay."

He sits on the couch, while I change in sleeping clothes in the bathroom. I let my hair out of the braid, and let it fall in waves. After finishing getting ready, I find Peeta half-asleep, sitting on the couch. I creep up and put a hand in his hair.

He sits up suddenly. "I wasn't asleep."

"You're tired too. It's been a long day," I say. He gets up from the couch and motions for me to lie down. I sit and then rest my head on the arm on the couch. Peeta throws a blanket over me, covering my face. I pull it down and laugh.

"Oh, you don't sleep with a blanket over your face?" he says jokingly.

"Only when I can't stand the sight," I say lightly.

He pretends to be hurt, but then he smiles. "It's just too wonderful, right?"

It's funny how exhaustion makes everything seem funny. I let out a tired laugh. He laughs too, but I can see he's exhausted. He tucks me in and starts for the door. "Wait," I say dryly. He turns around. "Please just lay with me till I fall asleep."

He looks at me and then at the door. "I should be going…"

"Please, just for a little while. It's hard to sleep when so much is going through your head, and when you were beside me, it always seemed like it I can fall asleep faster."

He sighs, but he steps closer. "But your mother could find me here, and I don't think she wants me here."

"It's just a little while. You'll leave before she gets here. If she gets here earlier, you can go out the window or something…"

He laughs, but he reluctantly agrees. I scoot over as much as I can, and he slowly lays right next me over the blanket.

"Not that you're doing bad, but you used to put your arm around me," I say in a whisper. I can feel the warm air of his laugh as he puts his arm over me, and then I feel the comfort of what it was like before.

"Like this?" he whispers.

"Yes," I reply. A little push inside me makes me squirm a bit. "Ow."

"What's wrong?" he whispers.

"Nothing, it just the baby." I take his arm that's around me and put his hand to the bump.

"Whoa." If you can exclaim in a whisper.

"It really moving now," I say in a yawn. He leaves his hand on my stomach, and I feel it natural to be there. My eyes drift close, and it's as if the baby understands it's time to sleep, because it gradually stops moving around. I feel completely safe and comfortable, and I wish it was always like this. No danger to worry about. My baby is safe as long as they live in me, and Peeta lies next to me. If only this could last forever.

"I love you." I hear Peeta whisper.

This time I make sure he hears me. "I love you, too."

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><p><em><strong>If you remember the flashback from Chapter 2, that's what she's thinking about right there. And Gale killing Coin? It's different I know. You'll learn more about it in next chapter. OH, and do i mention that even though this story is soon sadly coming to an end, I have in mind another story. More about that later. So thanks for reading! As always feedback would be awesome.<strong>_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	37. Chapter 37

_**It's been awhile, I think. So after this, there's like 2 more chaps and an epilogue. Thank you so much for your reviews and being there for this whole story. You guys are awesome. Happy reading!**_

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><p>Chapter 37<p>

When I wake up in the morning, I find Peeta is gone. Prim is asleep in the bed, but my mother is missing. I get up and hear noise of water running in the bathroom. I'm wondering if Peeta left before they got here, because I don't remember him leaving. I look to Prim sleeping on her side with a hand under her head. I pull the blanket up to cover her. As I go to the wardrobe to find some clean clothes, I hear soft whimpering. I turn around and see Prim furrowing her brows and frowning in her sleep. She moves around in the blanket, and I'm thinking she's having a nightmare. I rush to her side and put a hand to her shoulder.

"Prim wake up," I say. "It's only a nightmare." My poor sister has become a victim to the nightmares. I'm hoping they're not as bad and constant as the ones I have. She continues to move around. "Prim, it's just a dream. Wake up, I'm here," I say louder. She opens her eyes.

"Katniss?"

"I'm right here, you're alright. It looked like you were having a bad dream."

She sits up in bed. She feels around the bed and holds my one of my hands. "It was about that day in the Capitol…" she says. "It looked so real, like if it was happening again." Her eyes are watering, and she's breathing between sobs. I hold on tighter to her hand. "It was Finnick that saved me." It seems she is moving her eyes to me for confirmation.

"He gave me the mask and then he carried me out of the gas. When we got out, I remember feeling really cold, almost like my limbs were frozen. My eyes were going blurry, and I noticed Finnick was being affected by gas too. He was walking slower and slower, and then he dropped me. But even when he was too hurt to move, he kept telling me that I would be alright." Prim holds a sob and then keeps going. "I still could see him a little bit, and I saw how he couldn't move. I tried to help him, but I was becoming so incredibly drowsy, and he became unconscious… That's all I remember before I blacked out. When I woke up the next day, I knew he died. I failed. I tried to, but I couldn't help him." She wipes her eyes and tries to stop her sniffling. I lay her head on my shoulder and put my arms around her.

"It's not your fault Prim. He just breathed in too much gas…"

"And he died saving me," she says gravely. "I heard Annie is having a baby, and that means that baby will never see his father. I know how it hurts to lose a father. I hate to know that baby will won't even get to see him. Life is cruel with death. It just takes people away." She borrows her face into my shoulder and cries.

"Shhh," I whisper. "Life can be cruel sometimes, and people will be taken away, but that can't stop us. We can't let tragedies bring us down, or we won't be able to live." I instantly think of what happened to my mother. "Finnick was a goodhearted person, and saving you was an act that showed how good of person he was. He knew what he was doing. He wanted to save you. He cared about you so that you could live. Because you're a good person too, Prim. You're the most caring and selfless person I know. You help people, and that's something worth saving. You'll repay him by helping Annie, okay? You help Annie like you helped me."

Prim lifts her head and nods. She takes deep breaths and calms down. We both get dressed, and my mother comes out from her shower and helps Prim with her hair. Prim doesn't mention anything to my mother. She still looks down, but I think it will just take time. I put on a long sleeve shirt and pants. I go through the drawers and find the jacket that Dr. Odessa gave me. I stare at it in the drawer, wondering how it got there.

Never mind. I don't need a jacket.

I walk with my sister and mother to the train for the hospital. I squeeze Prim's hand before she goes into one of the cars. I give a small wave, even though she won't see it, and watch as they leave. When I go back to the mansion, the first place I go to is Haymitch's room.

I knock loudly on his door just in case he's hung-over. It takes him unusually long to answer the door. When he finally does, he greets me with his permanent gruff expression. "How's it going?" he says.

"I wasn't sure who to go to, but I figure you're pretty knowledgeable of what's going on with officials right now," I say.

"Ha," he says. "Well I guess you want to hear about the Coin situation. Why don't you come inside then." When I enter his room, I find it doesn't take him long to spoil a place. There's trash and clothes on the floor. There's no alcohol to be seen, but I can distantly smell it. "So about your friend…"

"They know he did it, don't they?"

"Clearly. They found him last night and arrested him. They're planning the trial."

"When?" I ask.

"Soon, because after the trial, they'll be working on finding a new leader to replace the one he killed."

"Alright. I have to start making my case against Coin. It's the only thing that will help Gale in his defense."

"Looks like you'll still be making that speech, huh?"

I glare at him. "If that was an attempt at a joke, I don't find it funny,"

"Alright, alright. I'll help with this. We should be finding people who have the same opposition against her, like everyone who was there when she announced her idea for the Hunger Games. And the deal you had with her. You'll have to tell people about that and get witnesses; people you told. Like I'm pretty sure sending you off to war, pregnant, would get District 13 people second opinions."

"Right, but I did agree to it…"

"But she shouldn't have come up with that deal anyway. District 13 is strict on its rules, and that just makes her a hypocrite for going against her own District's laws for her needs."

She really was a tyrant. I hope everybody else realizes that too. It's my only chance in helping Gale. I fall back onto the couch. "I hope my argument is enough to save him," I say.

"You've got plenty of dirt on her, but just remember kid," he says. "He still murdered someone, so we can only hope to lighten the consequences."

"I understand," I say.

"I hope you do, Sweetheart."

I want to see him, so I go, despite Haymitch's discouragement. There are thoughts and questions streaming in my head, and if I just see him, I'm hoping it will answer everything. I'm telling him we're going to get him out of this. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure he won't live a life in prison. I'm going to as hell try.

Gale is being held on the lower floors of the mansion. It's not exactly the floor I was kept while I was in Snow's captivity. Even though, the elevator ride down makes me squirm, and the plain hallways immediately call me to remind myself that I'm not in a life threatening situation. There is a guard next to me, but he's not pulling me along with cuffs like the Peacekeepers. _I'm just going to see Gale. I'm alright._

The buzz noise from the door unlocking, makes me jump. Fortunately, the guard doesn't pay attention to my stability, or he would probably be the one taking back to my room. We enter a room with a table and chairs. I sit knowingly in a chair a few feet from a guard. Another door opens, and Gale walks in with guards behind him. He is wearing cuffs and plain clothing. He takes a seat in the chair opposite of me.

"Hey Catnip," he says plainly.

I lean on the table to get closer. Ready to scold. "Gale, why did you lie to me that you had a plan?"

"It was to keep you from doing something dangerous,"

"To keep me from doing something dangerous? And it wasn't for you?"

"I couldn't let you do it, and I knew if I told you what I was planning, you probably would have tried to stop me."

"Hell I would have. You did exactly what you told me not to do, hypocrite."

"I guess I am, but I did it for districts. If somebody were to do it, it had to be me. I couldn't let you face the consequences doing it yourself. You have done enough. You went into battles; you risked your and your baby's life. You sacrificed so much already. So I thought it needed to be done, and decided to take matters in my own hands."

"Gale," I say sadly. "Do you understand what they could do to you for doing this?"

"I know full well. You obviously thought about it. I told you I have my own life, and this is a part of it. When you mentioned the stuff Coin did, I knew I had to do it. It's what I chose." I sigh, and cross my arms. "You were absolutely right about Coin. I found out something about that hovercraft in the City Circle."

I look up at him, in interest. I've told him about the hovercraft, but it seems he's found out something more. I squeeze my arms waiting for him to continue.

"You know those bombs and capsules that the hovercraft unleashed? Well after watching videos of the war that Beetee set up, I knew I recognized them." Gale looks solemnly back to me. "I'm the one who designed them. It was one of my traps."

Yes, I'm taken back. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it; the gas capsules and the bombs were his design. Gale always spoke violently about things having to with Capitol and the war. I knew it frightened me when I watch him and Beetee working on them, but here it is in demonstration. It personally hurt people that I cared about.

Gale can tell I'm a little shocked with the news. "Katniss," he starts. "When I showed Coin the designs she rejected them. She told me they were too complicated to use behind enemy lines. She said that they didn't want to risk losing hovercrafts for that purpose." I look down for a second trying to listen to his defense. "She lied! She took the designs anyway and used it to hurt those people!"

_Kill those people_. It also caused my sister's nightmares and made her think she has fault in Finnick's death. Sweet Prim. Not to mention it caused her blindness. Weapons do a lot more than just hurt people physically. Gale must have known that, right?

I look back to Gale. He's mad, but I can see some resentment. I lean closer to him. "Don't worry Gale. We're going to make a case against her, for every threat and evil plot she did. There's no way they'll ignore it."

Gale nods. The guard tells me my time is up. I'm escorted out of the room. On the way back to the elevator, I run into Hazelle.

"Katniss," she says. She's smiling at me, but I can see she's sad. Her eldest son is being trialed for murder. I can't imagine what she's going through. "Did you visit Gale?"

"Yes, I did," I answer.

"That's nice of you. I'm happy he has a friend like you. You must be busy with your due date coming around the corner," she says.

I put a hand to my stomach. "Uh yeah. It's getting closer."

"Congratulations to you and Peeta. I know you are young, but I believe you'll be a wonderful mother." The sadness behind her smile hints something else, but I know she means well. "Well, I should be going," she says. She smiles and walks past me.

I turn around and see her go. Then I speak out. "I fully believe that Gale is innocent." She looks back at me. "I have a supportive case, and I'll do everything I can to help him. I've know him, and always known he's had good intentions." Hazelle looks like she doesn't know what to say. I stand there awkwardly for a second. "Have a good evening, and say hello to Posy for me," I say. I turn around and walk to the elevator, not bothering to see a reaction from her.

I walk back to the mansion quarters. I really need to start to organize my thoughts for my case. Gale's future is at stake. I've never been good at rhetoric, or have had any kind of eloquence. So this is going to be difficult.

I'm so concentrated on my thoughts that I don't see door open. I don't stop myself from bumping into it, and I can't stop myself from falling back.

"Who the hell-" I start to mutter.

"Katniss!" I notice Delly Cartwright is standing in front of me. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there, and I was holding stuff and-"

"I'm alright, Delly."

"Oh no, but you're in such a fragile condition, and I could've been more careful!" She immediately helps me up.

"I'm alright, really."

Delly talks more how sorry she is, and then a boy that looks like Delly comes from the room. "What happened?" he asks.

"I hit poor Katniss with the door!" Delly exclaims.

"What's going on?" Peeta appears from the door. He looks to Delly, then to her brother, and then to me. "Are you alright, Katniss?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I say, trying not sound irritated with convincing them.

"Are you sure?" he asks a little more sober.

"Yes, I'm okay," I say. 'What are you all doing?"

"We were just helping Peeta move in," says the boy.

"And it looks like we're finished," says Delly. "We've got to get back to the encampment, because we're volunteering."

"Thanks for helping," says Peeta.

"You're welcome, and oh it was nice to see you, Katniss." Delly departs with her brother. "And I'm sorry!" she calls out. I just wave back, and then look to Peeta.

"You're moving into your own room? No more hospital?"

"Nope, they say I'm okay to be living on my own. I still have to go to the hopital for appointments, though."

"So do I," I say. "You know time seems to moving really fast."

"Why do you say that?" he asks. He looks at my expression for a moment. "It's because the baby, isn't it?" I lean against the wall.

"I'm still worried about it," I say.

"I'm nervous too," he says.

I look up into his eyes. "That's the first you mentioned of being nervous about it."

"Well, you were the one was really uncertain about it. I just wanted to be certain for you."

"Thank you, but you don't always have to be, okay? We can both be nervous about it."

"Alright," he says.

We walk out of the hallway and I notice the room is very similar to ours. I sit on the couch and take a pillow to hold. "So," I start. "We should really discuss what we're going to do with when they're born"

Peeta looks around room. "We'll probably all move in and take care of him or her," he says. "We could probably find a crib or a cradle, and put it over there," he says pointing to a corner. "We're going to have to get a lot of supplies like diapers and blankets…" I start to notice the expression Peeta takes when talks about this. It's like a mix of the look of concentration when he draws, and the look he gets when he watching a sunset. "… If we find some clothes for him or her, we could put it-" He stops talking and sees me looking at him. "What?"

"Nothing," I say. "You just have it all planned out, don't you?"

He grins and looks to the side. "Pretty close, but truly I don't think any couple is fully ready when they're having their first kid. I guess you try be as ready as you can be."

"We'll be okay, won't we?"

He sits next me and takes my hand. "We'll be okay."

I put a hand to my stomach. It's only a short time away till I have this baby. This whole pregnancy has been so emotionally exhausting, starting when I found out from Dr. Odessa; then the whole risk I was taking for going to the districts; having my mother find out I was pregnant, and then telling Gale; Peeta coming back hijacked, and having to help him remember, and then having to tell him that I was pregnant with his child when he didn't really know who I was. It will probably only get harder when they're born.

"What do you want to name them?" Peeta asks.

"Their name?" I ask. I realize while I was moping how bad it looked, Peeta was being the optimistic one and thinking about this baby as something wonderful. _Why am I so bad at this?_

"Yeah, we don't know if it's a boy or girl, but we can come up with some names. Would you want to name them after someone? Like… Rue?"

"No, I don't think so. I don't want to see people that I've lost in my child. They're already in my dreams."

"Yeah, I guess I don't want them to be named after someone that has died recently."

"Prim suggested we name them after my father, if it's a boy." I take a breath and lay my head on his shoulder. "I don't know if I want to. I kind of want it to be its own person. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I get it," he says. "Maybe we just need to see them first to come up with a name."

"We'll decide when we see them," I agree.

"Whatever we come up with, I'm sure it will be perfect," he says. I rub my hand on the baby. I look up at him, and he caresses my cheek. "And they'll be perfect." His blue eyes look into mine. I find myself leaning closer to him. I hesitate just an inch away. The sense of being loved like this urges me to just get as close as I can. I close my eyes and feel my lips press against his. He doesn't move away, but complies. He leans in further, and I feel something like happiness flood inside. I've never let myself get too close to him, because of the highjacking, but I really feel that he's better. I can feel the baby moving, but I put it aside in my thoughts right now. The kiss gets deeper, and I let my hand go into his hair. Then I have to breakaway.

He's about to lean in again, but I stop it with a hand to his cheek. "I have to breathe, dummy." He has the biggest smile on his face, and I'm only guessing my smile is just as wide. He clears his throat. "You realize that was my first real kiss with you."

"For you, but I clearly remember mine first real kiss with you was when we were on the beach in the Quarter Quell."

"It's too bad I don't remember that one."

"Don't worry, it wasn't as good as this one," I say. He laughs, and then he leans in closer. I gladly comply and move in, but the pain of a tiny person kicking around halts it. "Ow."

"What's wrong?"

"Your son or daughter is kicking around."

Peeta leans close to my stomach and puts his hands on it. "Calm down, baby. Your mother says you're kicking around too much. It's alright to move around once in awhile, but your mother would appreciate if you didn't kick so hard."

"It's still kicking away," I say.

"Huh, they're not even born yet, and they don't want to listen to us."

I laugh, but I'm still in pain. So I sing a small tune from the Meadow Song, and find the baby has stopped moving so much. "They're calming down," I whisper, as if I don't, I'll wake them up.

Peeta rubs where the baby is. "They're lucky to have a mother with such a beautiful voice."

"They're lucky that they will have such a wonderful father," I say. I give a small peck on his lips and put my hand over his.

This is what I want to have for them. Two parents that love them and will never leave them; something that I didn't have.

Peeta releases his hand from between the baby and mine. He becomes solemn and looks forward. The odd change of mood gets me nervous, so I ask what's wrong.

"I know a lot is going on right now with Gale and Coin, but I wanted to ask you this before the baby is born…And I think we should do it, but Im asking you and I don't want you to do something you don't want to do. Anwer honestly." He turns his head to look at me. He looks almost completely straight. "Will you marry me?"

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><p><em><strong>I hope the characters weren't OOC or anything. I'm always second glancing my chapters for that. And I chose this little moment for popping the question, even though it's chaos right now. By the way, the story I'm considering wirting a post mockingjay, but it is not a sequel to Breaking Hope. It's not about them falling in love and stuff. I guess it has it has a little of that, but there's a whole new plot, and problems. And evil people! <strong>_

_**Thanks for reading! - cheezebuns**_


	38. Chapter 38

**_Thank you all of you that left reviews. Your commets and feedback help me with the story. Happy reading!_**

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><p>Chapter 38<p>

_Will you marry me?_

I'm back in my room, lying on the couch staring at the ceiling as the memory of the event replays like a projected screen right above me. It was nothing like that fake proposal on Caesar Flickerman's show. I saw that one coming. I had time to act. This one definitely caught me off guard. This one wasn't based on how good my acting was. It was real.

It was just too real.

My sister and mother sleep soundly on the bed next to me. I haven't told them. I arrived here before they did, and pretended to be asleep when they came in. They must have known I wasn't really asleep, since I barely have been these past few days. What is keeping me from telling them? I don't know. I can barely wrap the idea around in my head.

Because I said yes.

It seemed out of impulse. The words came out of my mouth before I could realize what I was doing. I have agreed to marry Peeta. But now that I think about it, I question myself if that it is really best for us. I love him. I sincerely do, and have no doubt about that, but what brought about his proposal for marriage was the commitment we already had with this child I'm having.

Do we have to get married? No, we don't have to. We could raise this child without being in an official commitment. It's just that marriage makes me feel more vulnerable with loving someone. What if something were to happen to him? What if he lapses into a flashback and is forced to leave? I could never imagine him hurting me or his child, but what if his hijacking is just too overpowering and it takes over his senses? I don't want him feel that guilt. It could drive us apart.

But I wouldn't let it happen. I've helped him out of it before. He's so much better than when he first arrived in District 13. He may not be the same Peeta two years ago, but he's stronger now. I convince myself I want to do it. I want to marry Peeta Mellark, and make our commitment official for our son or daughter. I'm going to do it. No more countering thoughts are going to persuade me otherwise.

I'm lay on my back, moving my hand back and forth where our child is. I'm between being conscious and asleep. The last thing I consciously see in my head before I fall asleep is piercing blue eyes.

_Are you, are you, coming to the tree?_

_I step silently on the forest floor, looking around for a target for my arrow. The sky is thickly clouded, not letting any sunlight penetrate through. The forest is in complete shade in a soft blue, and it's too ominously still. _

_It's too damn quiet._

"_Are you, are you, coming to the tree?"_

_I instantly turn around in the direction of the voice. It's the voice of a child. I scan the forest around me and notice movement. A little girl pops out of the bushes with a smile on her face. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, and for a moment I think it looks like Prim when she was little._

"_What are you doing here? It's dangerous out here," I say._

_The little girl tilts her head and smiles. Something is familiar about her. It's the way she smiles I think. I also notice her eyes are deep blue, unlike my sisters whose eyes are lighter in color. _

"_Can you sing?" she asks._

"_What?" I'm a little taken back by her question. "What are you doing out here all alone? Are you lost? I'll help you get back to town-"_

_She begins to run off. "Wait!" I call out. She keeps going and I'm thinking I should follow her, but I begin to hear strange growling. I turn around to meet black eyes of a mutt from my first Hunger Games. I instantly pull out my bow in instinct. The mutt looks at me then turns its attention to the direction where the girl went. No, don't think about it… It darts in the direction where she went._

_I speed after it, and begin to yell to warn the girl. My arrows are unsteadily aimed while I run. I lose sight of the mutt, and make myself to run faster. I'm running over logs and rocks hoping I'll make it in time. A blood shrilling scream pierces my ears. It freezes me in place as I realize it got her. I let it get her. _

_The sky becomes pitch black, and I'm completely blind of my surroundings. Footsteps walk in my direction. I load my bow, but it would do much good if I can't see them. They're getting closer and my heart is beating really fast. I wait in anticipation as their steps become louder and then…quiet. Complete silence. I'm deaf and blind, but I feel a pain in my middle so intense that I have to kneel on the ground. I hold myself on the ground, while I hope it ceases. No, it only gets stronger. What's happening to me?_

I wake up soon after, and find the pain has not stopped with the dream. Although, it's not as bad, I still feel a strong pressure, and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm guessing they're those fake contractions the doctor told me about.

"Katniss, are you alright?" My mother calls from bed.

I must of have been screaming during my dream. "Yes, I'm okay. Just a bad dream again," I say. My mother gets out of bed and helps me fold the blankets from the floor. Soon Prim is up and we all get dressed. On the way to the hospital I notice how similar that little girl looked like Prim, but the eyes were different. Maybe she was what my kid would look like? It must have been, because she looked so much like Peeta. There was also this strong instinct that I needed to protect her, but in my dream, I failed. It got her. I couldn't save her. It really is my greatest fear.

Before my mother's volunteer shift at the hospital, my sister and mother come with me to my appointment with Dr. Aurelius. I hold my sister's hand as we enter Dr. Aurelius' room.

"Good morning Ms. Everdeen, and I suppose this is Primrose?"

"Yes, this is my other daughter. We will both be here for Katniss' appointment," says my mother.

"Very well then. Katniss, please take a seat over here." I let go of my sister's hand and sit on the examination table. My mother and Prim sit in chairs at the wall. Dr. Aurelius checks my heartbeat and all that usual stuff. "So how have you been feeling lately?"

"Fine," I say.

"You are very close to your due date. Have you been feeling any high energy or any sort of pains you would call contractions?"

"Uh not really. Maybe a little discomfort."

"I see. You will experience those things the closer you get to giving birth."

"And I hear contractions… are pretty painful," I say.

"Don't worry Sweetie. Most women exaggerate what it feels like," my mother says.

"I'm sure they have informed you what to do when you go into labor?" asks the doctor.

"Oh yeah. I know what to do." Truth is, the moment I go into labor, I will probably forget what I'm supposed to do. I'm still terrified of it, but women do it all the time, right?

Another doctor comes in to do the ultrasound. Prim can't see it, but she talks about how wonderful the baby's heartbeat sounds. I think I see my mother tearing up, but when she sees me looking at her she wipes her eyes quickly. The doctor informs me that the baby is in the right position. Let's just hope it stays like that.

After my appointment I'm taken to the psychiatrist and my mother goes to her work. He asks me if I have seen any strange things, which means he's asking me if I'm still hallucinating. I tell him no. He asks me if I had any strange dreams or nightmares, and I tell him there's nothing out of the usual. When he asks me about how often I feel anxiety, I tell him only very little and only during some stressful situations.

"I hope you're not just telling me what I want to hear," he says.

"Of course not."

"I'm here to help you. You don't have to pretend. We think you're about well enough for raising your child yourself. You are improving," he says. "I just have a little more to ask of you, alright?"

"Shoot," I say.

"What were your feelings toward Coin?"

Where is this coming from? I'm wondering if he trying to find some link between the murdering and I. But they know Gale did it, so are they trying to make me spill something? "She's a great politician, but I admit, I wasn't very fond of her."

"And your friend, Gale. Did he share the same opinion of Coin as you?"

"Sort of… I don't understand why I'm being asked this."

"Some were just concerned how the situation affected you. You were right there on the scene, when Coin was killed."

"Right…" I say unsure. I feel uneasy, but he tells me that our time is up. I leave the room and then head back on the train to the mansion.

I walk through the mansion hallways and eventually find Peeta's room. I knock on the door and it doesn't take long for him to answer it.

"Oh hi, Katniss," he says with a smile. I see he's wearing regular clothes and not the plain gray outfits from the hospital. "Come on in, I was just finishing getting ready."

He goes into the bathroom with a tooth brush. I sit on the couch. When he comes back out he's putting stuff away, but he faces me. "Did you tell your mother yet?"

"Oh, I haven't yet," I say. I guess that nightmare of mine really made me forget about telling my mother that I'm officially engaged. "I was a little preoccupied, but I'll tell her tonight."

"You worried about Gale's trial?"

"I guess I am, but it's just I had this dream last night…"

He sits on the couch next to me. "You want to talk about it?"

I don't want to burden him with my fears, but he asked. "Well it started with me being back in the woods in District Twelve. I saw a little girl and she was signing. It was funny because she looked a lot like you."

"Like how?"

"She had blonde hair and blue eyes exactly like you, and I had this really strong feeling that she might have been our kid." Peeta nods and lets me go on, because my dreams never end like that and only get bad. "There was one of the mutts from our first Hunger Games. They were running after her, and I was desperately trying to stop it, but… I lost sight of it, and I heard the girl screaming… it got her. I couldn't save her."

Peeta puts an arm around my shoulder. "That won't happen. I know you'll do whatever you can. And just remember sometimes we can't always be there for them, so we have to raise them as best as we can so they can fend for themselves." He kisses the top of my head. "Was that the reason you came over here?"

"To see you," I say. "And I was hoping you would help Haymitch and me with Gale's case."

He sits up from where we're sitting. "Sure, I'll help you."

"Thank you, Peeta. You're such a good person. I don't understand how I deserve this."

"Don't say that. I love you more than you could know, and our son or daughter." He puts his hand on my bump.

I give him a peck on the cheek. "I guess we should be getting to Haymitch." Peeta nods and we start going to Haymitch's room.

When Haymitch finally answers the door, he walks out and down the hallway. Peeta and exchange perplexed looks and walk after him.

"Where are you going? I thought you were going to help with this."

"I am!" he says walking in front of us. "I did a whole lot compared to what you have done so far."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I rounded up a few people who thought Coin was not too good. This includes a lawyer for Gale's defense. We're all meeting up in Command."

"You did all that?"

"You won't believe how many people have been holding secret grudges against her, and who she tried to shut up."

"So this isn't just about Gale anymore. People are actually saying how Coin wasn't fit be president," says Peeta.

"Not a whole lot of people liked her," adds Haymitch. We reach Command and see that most of the victors and others are sitting around.

"Well hello Katniss," says Beetee.

"Beetee, you're here." I lower my voice. "You know those bombs were Gale's design?"

"I figured it out from the footage. They are very much the traps. Coin really went behind our backs in weaponry. I assure you know that Gale didn't have any part in that bombing."

"Yes, he told me about it."

"Alright, everyone should take their seats." I look to who spoke and I see it's Paylor. Peeta and I sit next to Beetee. I see there's already a list of Coin's crimes that they came up with so far. "We've got a good list already, but we're sure there are more of Coin's misdeeds as the president of Thirteen and head of the rebellion." She looks in my direction. "Does the Mockingjay have anything to add?"

I sit up at the table. "The first one was the deal we had."

"The one for the victors' immunity?" asks Beetee.

"There was one after that. She told me to keep my pregnancy a secret so I could go to the battles in the districts." It's added to the list. "There was also another deal we made, but I broke it. Some officials and doctors knew I was pregnant, but Coin suggested I sneak onto a hovercraft for a final mission in the Capitol. I broke my deal with her, because I realized I was risking the baby's life. She became upset, and then later she managed to send my sister to the Capitol as consequence."

"What a bitch," says Johanna. Annie nudges her with her elbow to let me finish. "After she confronted me about sending Prim, she also threatened to send Peeta, while he was still in the hospital." Peeta looks at me. I realize this is the first of him hearing about it. "And they did send you," I say almost like I'm asking.

Peeta looks to me then Paylor. "I had no idea, but I volunteered to go when she was in the Capitol. Coin didn't force me to."

"This was before," I say. Before I was kidnapped. She had no idea about the abduction. I couldn't stop you from going when I was in the Capitol."

"I did it to save you," Peeta says sternly.

"Right, but I was just doing whatever to keep you safe."

Paylor breaks in. "Is that all?"

Beetee reminds me a low voice. "The bombs." I nod.

"During the war going on in the Capitol, a hovercraft with the Capitol emblem was hovering over the City Circle. It dropped silver parachutes that were disguised bombs, and then dropped capsules of poisonous gas. We have reason to believe that Coin sent that hovercraft. It wasn't the Capitol's."

"And what are your reasons?" she asks.

"Beetee and Gale can prove that the bombs were of their designs from back in District 13. Gale told me that when he showed Coin the designs, she rejected them, but she used them behind their backs anyway."

"Okay, but how do you know it wasn't a Capitol hovercraft?"

And here is where I'm a little hesitant on stating my reason. "Snow told me." I get disbelieving looks at me. "While he was held in the greenhouse, he talked to me about that bombing."

Paylor looks like she's thinking. She knows I'm telling the truth, because she was the one who let me in. "He said that Coin used the hovercraft to frame him, so that it appeared that Snow killed those children. When I said I didn't believe him, he told me how even if he did have a hovercraft, he would have used it to escape. He said it was meaningless to him to kill a bunch of Capitol children."

I see some people are still indecisive to believe what I'm saying. It would probably be hard to believe an evil former president who has been executed for killing children in Hunger Games.

"I think we can add that," Paylor says. Johanna and some others look disapprovingly, but Paylor believes me. "Well I guess that's it. Everyone can go now, and we'll see you all tomorrow at the trial."

We all get up from are seats. Paylor, the lawyers, and Beetee stay, but everyone else leaves.

Haymitch and Peeta walk along side me. "You know I had no idea that Coin threatened you that way," Peeta says.

"I know. I didn't tell you, because I didn't think she would do it. And she didn't do it. It was by your choice."

"We better be getting some sleep then," says Haymitch.

"Tomorrow is going to be a big, big, big day!" Peeta says.

Haymitch laughs sarcastically. "Ha, you're funny. Good night you two." He walks back to his room, but I know he's not going to sleep. Hunger Game victors usually spend most of the night awake. I'm betting he'll be drinking whatever hidden liquor he has.

"I guess we should be going to our separate rooms then," Peeta says. I hold onto one of his hands, and he seems to know that I'm asking to stay with him. "I barely made it out without notice last time."

"You got out unnoticed?"

"Yeah," he laughs.

"Then I'll just go with you," I say.

"They'll wonder where you are."

"They'll know I'll be fine. I'll be at the trial," I say. He smiles and we walk back to his room. He unlocks the door and we step inside. He goes to change, and I slip into bed. I can barely keep my eyes open, but I feel the shift when he gets in, and he puts his arms around me. He kisses my shoulder, and I turn to kiss him back. When I break away, I know that's as far as it's going to get. He gives a small kiss on my head. "Goodnight Katniss."

The following morning we have breakfast and go straight to where the trial is being conducted. Peeta and I find Haymitch in the benches and sit with him. Gale isn't here yet, but his lawyer and the offending lawyer take their places at the tables. My mother and Prim enter the room. They a sit few benches away, but she sees me and gives me a small smile. I smile back, but I realize I haven't told her I'm engaged to Peeta. I'll tell her later.

An older woman judge, called Vadel, takes her place at the podium. Gale is entered into the room and led to his seat by a guard. I catch his eye and give a reassuring smile. He returns a small one and then faces to the judge. I see Paylor is up in front with the lawyers. We're all seated and then Judge Vadel asks for the lawyers for their opening statements.

The other lawyer opens with how our brilliant president was cruelly murdered. He goes on with how much of a good leader she was and how she helped the rebels with a victory. Our lawyer begins with defending Gale, and stating of how deceptive and despotic Coin was, and why Gale might acted in the first place.

The trial begins, and I'm anxious of when I'll be called up. The other lawyer calls up some of Coin's colleagues, just further supporting that Gale was the murderer. I can't seem to sit still, because I just want all of Coin's dirty secrets out in the open. I feel a hand on mine. I look to Peeta who is trying to assure me that everything will be fine. I try to calm down. Listen to what they're saying. It's going to be fine, I tell myself.

But then I feel a sharp pain. It intensifies, and I guess they're contractions, which I assume means…

I'm going into labor.

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><p><em><strong>Right in the middle of a trial too. She's going to have that baby soon! We're coming close to a closing with 320 reviews and 264 favs. You guys are awesome. What do you really want to see in Katniss' life with the baby? Ahh, I'm really excited to finally write the baby's gender and name . I'm actually picking a name that was suggested.<strong>_

_**So I've been a little busy, and I've been working some on the next chapter. I was planning to upload it a week from now, BUT... if you send in a review, and we reach 333, I will work harder to upload it alot sooner. I PROMISE you! **_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	39. Chapter 39

_**It's about 4 days earlier from when I would have posted it. Thanks alot for your reviews. There migh be tiny mistakes because I did this quick. Anyway, here it is! Happy reading!**_

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><p>Chapter 39<p>

_Stay calm_.

A searing pain inside me makes me tense. I see everyone's attention is still on the case beforehand. Peeta seems to take notice though, and leans close to whisper.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I need to get out of here," I say. "I'm not feeling too well."

Peeta whispers something to Haymitch, and then he leads me out of the courtroom, trying not to bring too much attention to ourselves. As I go out the door, I meet Gale's eyes, hoping, wordlessly he understands what's going on.

"What's wrong Katniss? What are you feeling?"

"I think I'm having contractions," I say tensely. "The doctor said I would get these close to when I'm ready to have the baby, but it's so soon."

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital. Just to be safe," he says sort of nervously.

"Alright," I say.

We exit the building and go to the train station that will take us to the hospital. And while we're outside, there's a small pop and warm liquid begins to run down my legs.

"Peeta!"

"What is it?"

"My water just broke!" I say. Now I am afraid. This is definitely a sign that I'm going to give birth soon. I feel nervous, and fear that I may not be able to go through this. I'm going into labor. I'm about to give birth. As I stop in the realization, Peeta immediately scoops me up, and carries me the rest of the way.

"It will be alright, Katniss."

My hands tighten into fists as the contractions come and go. I pace around the hospital room in my hospital gown. When a bad one comes up, I grab on to the nearest thing and squeeze it with a death grip. Peeta's poor hand has become subject to my gripping. A nurse tells me to breathe, so I focus on that to try to stop myself from thinking what's going to happen soon.

My mother arrives in the room. "Oh Katniss, I never suspected this to happen so soon."

"None of us did," I say.

"It's alright. It's normal for some women to go into labor before their estimated due date. The doctor suspects you'll be fully dilated in a few hours."

A few hours. I should have seen this coming. Back in Twelve, my mother helped countless women bear children. It did take hours, and I remember how most of them screamed the whole time. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm helped into bed and endure the next few hours with throbbing pains inside my abdominal. I am given something through my IV, but it only slightly lessens the pain. It is mostly for speeding up the process. "This hurts," I say.

Peeta puts a hand and my shoulder and moves the hair out of my face. "They say you're almost there."

Another rippling wave of pain, and I clench my teeth and barely let a scream of pain escape. Peeta lets me grab onto his hand, while he tries to distract me with stories. I try to listen to them, so I'm distracted. I find it working a little, but sometimes the pain is so great that I just want him to shut up.

"I remember our first day of school when you sang. You were just so naturally good at singing. Even when you were little your singing could stop mockingjays."

"I remember…" I say.

"You can teach our son or daughter to sing. There would be nobody more suitable to teach them than you."

I smile, despite my distress. Another contraction comes, and this time I actually do scream. I grip tightly onto Peeta's hand till it passes.

"You know what got me to believe you when you first told me that you pregnant? I had a dream. You were in it, and I strangely didn't feel apprehensive or angry like I usually did. It was weird because… I felt happy. We were on a rooftop somewhere, and that's when I really considered that maybe you weren't evil." Peeta looks solemnly at me. The pain has gone for now. "You know, I wonder what my father and mother would think about us having a baby. My father would have been happy for having another grandchild."

"Another grandchild?" I ask.

"My oldest brother was married, and they had just had a daughter while we were in the Capitol for the Quarter Quell."

That's when it hits me. I've never paid too much attention to Peeta's family. I knew his father as the kind baker, and his mother was somewhat like an evil witch, but I know nothing about his brothers or what it was like for him growing up with them. I feel guilty at the thought how they all died in that fire. His niece was barely days old. "I'm so sorry Peeta. I'm sure they would have been happy for you."

He smiles, but it's the kind that hides the hurt someone is really feeling. He sighs. "I really miss them," he says.

I'm about to say something, but another pain intensifies and I cry out instead. I grip his hand tightly in mine. They are starting to last longer, and I'm just wishing it to cease. Peeta forcibly pulls his hand out of mine. I look over and see the blank expression on his face, looking down. His neck and shoulders have tensed.

"Peeta?" His pupils have constricted some. Please, not now. He's lapsing. "Peeta, stay with me."

"It's your fault…"

"No, it's not true. The Capitol gave you those ideas. They're not real."

"… the fire."

"Snap out it. Don't fall into it. This is real! Listen to me. We're having a son or daughter, and-" I get another one, so I'm immediately shutted up. I grit my teeth and hold my scream, because I'm afraid it will only drive Peeta's rage. He moves farther away from me. My mother comes into the room, and sees Peeta. She leaves the room in haste to find someone to help.

"Don't you go, Peeta. I need you here." I say tiredly. He doesn't reply or even react. He just sits in a chair fighting the venom in his head.

My mother, a doctor, and Haymitch arrive. I'm wondering when Haymitch got here, but Peeta is the priority right now, and he just concentrates on getting him out of here.

"Come on kid," he says. Peeta does nothing. Haymitch pulls him up. When they lead him out, he doesn't fight them. He squeezes his eyes shut and grabs hold of his head like he's having a terrible migraine. Haymitch gives me a sympathetic look and closes the door after them.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but we can't risk him going into one of those paroxysms. He could hurt you, and right now you're just too vulnerable to risk that," says my mother.

"No, he would never hurt me," I say raspy.

"I understand, but it's not him. It's the venom in his head."

I sigh and press myself deeper into the pillow. I'm left to face this without him.

"Well, it looks like you're fully dilated," says the doctor.

My stomach sinks. I know it's going to hurt a lot. My mother stands beside me. Peeta is not allowed in the room. I don't know if I can do this.

"Alright Katniss, we need you to push."

And so it begins. I breathe in and push just like I was told to in preparation for this. Dr. Odessa's advice enters my head, and I continually push as hard as I can. It hurts, and after giving it my all in each push, I feel like I won't be able to do it again.

And yet I'm told to do so.

"You're almost there, Katniss," my mother says.

"Just one more big push," says the doctor.

I inhale and then push as hard as I can. I let out a scream, which only makes me struggle to breathe in air into my lungs.

I thought enters my mind.

_There I was in the schoolyard waiting for Prim. I watch the other kids walking home with their friends and their parents. A father picks up a small girl unto his shoulders. She giggles as she sits, smiling down._

_My attention turns toward the play yard and that's when I see him. That boy, Peeta, stands on the other side. I have this feeling that I should go say thank you. He threw me bread and took a hit from his mother, but what if I embarrass him by talking to him? He looks at me and I turn my eyes away. Something yellow catches my attention. I look around the yard and spot a dandelion. A take a step towards it and pick it._

_A smile curls onto my lips when I realize what it means._

_Hope._

_"I'm coming, Katniss!" Prim runs to me and takes my free hand. I adjust my pack on my shoulder and we start walking. I turn my head just slightly to see him still there. The boy who gave me the bread._

_"What's that, Katniss?"_

_I realize she's referring to the flower in my hand. "This is a dandelion. I remember seeing them in Mother's book. We can gather a bunch of these and make a salad."_

_"Ooh, I'll help pick some!"_

_"Okay. I know a place where there is lots of dandelions…"_

Push.

"You're almost there." I keep trying, and squeeze my eyes shut. Why isn't this over yet?

Push.

"There it is!"

I stop and let my head fall back on the pillow. My eyes are still closed, but there's sound of a newborn crying. I hear my mother's crying from the happiness. I hear the discourse between the doctor and the nurses. "It's a girl," they say.

It's a girl. We have a daughter.

I hear a door open suddenly. "You can't be in here," says the doctor.

"Please, sir. Stay in the waiting area."

"I'm alright. Please, I just have to see her."

I open my eyes. "Peeta," I say. He looks straight at me, and I don't see any craze behind them. He looks towards me like he's sorry. I look to my mother. "Please, let him stay."

My mother walks from my side to the doctors. She speaks with them all and they allow Peeta to stay. The cord is cut and measurements are taken. A nurse cradles our daughter in a blanket and walks over to me.

"Congratulations," the nurse says as she hands me the fragile little bundle.

This is my daughter.

She has stopped crying and moves her tiny little hands out of the blanket. All I can think is how perfect she turned out with all we have been through.

Peeta is allowed next to me, and so he doesn't hesitate to come and see his daughter. He smiles and softly touches the dark hair on her head. "We have a daughter," he says.

I laugh, and feel my eyes watering. "And she's beautiful."

The door opens and my mother reappears with Prim. Prim is still not able to see her, but I let her hold her. Prim sits in a chair and my mother puts her new little niece in her arms. Prim face lightens up, and my mother stands next to her, gazing lovingly, speaking softly.

"I guess my _Healer Powers_ were off that day," Prim says.

I laugh in remembrance. "It's okay Prim. Healers have those days," I say my voice still raspy from screaming. Prim carefully hands me back the baby. I softly touch her soft little head with my fingers.

The little girl wills herself to open her eyes, and that's when I see they're a deep blue. I almost laugh, and Peeta looks and he smiles. "Her eyes are blue," I say.

"We can only guess where she got that from," my mother says.

"So," says Prim. "What's my niece's name?"

I look to Peeta and then back to our blue-eyed daughter. We told ourselves we would have a name when we saw her.

"What about after a flower," my mother lightly suggests.

I think about it. She'll live with this name the rest of her life. It should mean something, and not tie her down to our past. I think about how amazingly she came out okay with everything I put us through: the battles, the stress, the fighting myself with what I thought about her. We survived a whole lot, and there were times when I would think we wouldn't. She was that little bit of faith that I still had when I was sure I was done; the little dandelion in the spring. She's the one that got me through all that. I probably would have given up if it wasn't for her.

"Hope," I say. "Her name is Hope."

Having to go through labor for multiple hours has consequently exhausted me. I think I slept a whole day. The best part of it was… no nightmares. How can you have nightmares after an event like that?

When I wake up, I'm never alone. My mother, Prim, and Peeta stay for long visits, holding and talking to Hope. Haymitch even came to visit, so I've heard. It was during my day of sleeping. I wish I would have seen it, knowing that even Haymitch has sort of a soft side.

Nobody has told me anything about Gale's trial. I've asked, but they said that it's going fine, and I shouldn't worry about it. They said I just need concentrate on resting and taking care of Hope. So that's all I ever do.

I am fast asleep until I hear the door open. I'm facing away, but from the sound of his footsteps I can tell that it's Peeta. I keep my eyes shut and listen to him walk to where Hope is laying. I hear him gently pick her up and then walk to the window. I open my eyes just a peek to see him rocking her in his arms. Little noises come from her as I see her move her tiny arms around. Peeta lets her grab onto his finger.

"You got quite a grip there," he whispers. "I'm sure you'll grow up to be really strong just like your mother. That's one of things I admire about her. She always so strong, even when she says she's not." My eyes are opened slightly more. "I love her very much, and I love you. We both love you. We'll be an official family soon, although I say we are anyway."

I smile, and wish I could just keep this moment forever. I'm confident Peeta will make a wonderful father. He could teach Hope to paint and bake. Hope is that little piece of his family that is still alive. I pull the blanket slightly higher to my face. It tickles my nose, and I suddenly sneeze.

"It looks your mother has been awake," he says to the baby. He turns to me, and I smile innocently. He walks over and sits in the chair beside me. We both stay silent, watching our little living miracle blink her eyes and slowly fall asleep.

"I want to go back to District 12," I say in barely a whisper. Peeta moves his gaze to me. "I want to move back there as soon as we can. I want to raise her there."

Peeta nods and looks back to the sleeping bundle. "Hopefully there, she'll be safe from this whole Rebellion and war business."

"We'll keep her away from the press, and try to give her as much of a normal life as we can..."

"But you do know that we can't hide it from her forever." Peeta says. "Because who we are, and what we've been through… it will come out one day."

"We'll just have to be ready for that day," I say.

"Right, but we shouldn't have to worry about that now," he says. "We should just work on the first few years getting her to talk, and walk, and… sing."

I let my lips curl into a smile. "Of course, but there's something else we need to do."

"Hmm?"

"Toast bread."

It takes him a second to get it, but he smiles and looks back to the little baby girl fast asleep. I see Hope sleeping, and all I think is pure innocence. Her life will never be tainted with Hunger Games, or the Capitol. She's my peace after a war, and I won't let anything take that away. I will do everything to make sure she has the life I never had. She deserves to.

"Sweet dreams, Hope," I whisper softly. "I love you."

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><p><em><strong>So... "Hope" was actually a suggested name from someone. I had thought about the name, and liked the way it seemed to link with the title. Because that's what she means to them! I decided it be a girl... sort of because they do have a girl first. Were you at all worried when Peeta went mutt? Sorry about that, but he isn't cured, and I figured Katniss screaming would make him relive some bad memories. But he came through for them, yay.<strong>_

_**In the epilogue there will be plenty of interaction from some other characters and the baby. You also find out what happens to Gale. This is technically the last chapter, if you don't count the epilogue. Thank you guys so much for sticking through this whole story. The story would be nothing without you guys. **_

_**ps: I started a little bit on the next story **_

_**-cheezebuns**_


	40. Epilogue

_**Last chapter, and I so glad to finally upload it. Did I mention how awesome you readers are? Thanks for the reviews and happy reading!**_

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><p>Epilogue<p>

Somehow I already knew.

Not everybody was coming back to District 12 with me. I don't really feel sad about it. I'm completely aware that things will never be the same as before. Since my sister's name was called in that Reaping, my life has changed drastically. I guess it's not wrong to miss what life was like before- everything being so simple- but I wouldn't have gone through the Games and came to really know and love people, like Haymitch, Finnick, Johanna, Cinna, Peeta… I wouldn't have been there to stop Snow, or become a mother.

I sit in a window seat on the hovercraft with Hope bundled in a yellow blanket in my arms. She's been asleep for most of the ride, and I'm grateful for that. Peeta is slumped in the seat next to me, half asleep. We both usually don't sleep very well, and so being up to take care of a newborn isn't so much of a change. Even so, we're both tired, and he's taking advantage of the time of peace before Hope needs attention again.

The only other person we know accompanying us back to Twelve is Haymitch. He's asleep in a seat across from us, head back, slightly snoring. Now that I think of it, I don't think I've ever seen him asleep without a knife in his hand, and usually he stays awake to avoid nightmares and to drink.

He says the reason he's coming back to Twelve is because he supposed to be watching Peeta and I. Our new president, Paylor, thought it just as a precaution. So we're not super healthy and happy for them to completely trust us on our own. The other reason I think Haymitch is here is because he wouldn't fit too well in the Capitol. I don't think he would be able to stand it, anyway. He belongs in Twelve.

"_Katniss, you know I'd wish for us to stay together. You're my sister. I'm sorry we're not going with you," Prim says. Her blue eyes look at me, full of emotion again._

_I pull her into hug. "It's okay Prim. I'm just happy to know that you'll be safe. You're needed in District Four, and so I don't want anything to stop you from becoming a doctor. I know you're going to be a wonderful doctor."_

_She breaks away and wipes an eye to stop it from shedding tears. "I'll miss you so much… and Hope. We'll visit you whenever we can…"_

"_Of course," I say lightly. "When Hope is a little older we can visit you and Mother in Four. We'll see each other often, okay? We can talk on the phone too. And If I don't see you, I'll call you when Hope says her first word and all that stuff."_

_Prim smiles. My mother walks over to us with the baby in her arms. She hands me Hope, and then kisses me on the cheek. "I'm very confident that you'll take care of Hope wonderfully, without me. And if you're just not sure about something, then give me a call, alright?" I nod. She smiles and clears her throat to prevent it from breaking. "Good-bye Katniss. I love you."_

"_I love you too," I reply. My mother kisses Hope on her little head, and then that's when we're told the Hovercraft is ready to take off. I look to my mother and my sister and then turn to the Hovercraft. As I walk up the ramp with Peeta, I look back slightly and see Johanna leaning against a wall. She smirks and gives me a wave. I smile in return and then enter the craft. _

My mother did try to convince me to go to Four with them, but I was fully intent on raising Hope where I was raised. District 12 is home to me and Peeta. There are some problems in Twelve that need fixing, like all the destroyed buildings from aftermath of the bombing, but I couldn't really call any other place home.

As for Gale, he couldn't make it. He's being sent to District 2, but not for a leadership role, yet. He's on a sort of probation in Two, and he can't leave anywhere to any of the other districts without an official approval from Paylor. He's talents aren't going to be wasted, as Paylor was interested in putting him in some kind of role in the new military. There are no more Peacekeepers. The military is only for defense, so they say.

I turn my head to look out the window. I see the familiar forest that surrounds the district. The hovercraft shifts slowly to the right, and we begin to descend. "We're home, Hope." I say in high-pitched whisper.

In the town square, familiar and new people are reconstructing the shops. The whipping posts are gone and the Justice Building is being repaired. I walk with Hope on my chest, shielding her from all the dust and dirt in the air. Peeta walks along side me carrying a bag with both of our belongings. Haymitch hazily walks next to us. We're just completely silent, observing everything as we walk. When we pass the street of the bakery, we stop for a second. Peeta becomes solemn, and I put my free hand on his shoulder. He smiles sadly at me, and then caresses Hope's head peeking out of the blanket and he genuinely smiles.

Peeta and I depart from Haymitch and go to our separate homes in Victor Village. It is surprisingly odd how they are still standing with the bombing. Could they have thought of still having the Hunger Games? I don't let the thought linger too long, because what's important right now is just getting this place to be home. We're staying at Peeta's, because I feel that if I want to start off new, then I'll start it with a new place. He also has a room unused that we have designated for Hope's nursery. We enter the home, and even though it has been deserted for so long, I can still sense the familiarity of it. The place feels like Peeta.

My attention is caught by Hope's sudden movement. She mumbles quietly and opens her eyes. "Well, good morning, baby," I say sweetly. It's actually after noon, but I say it anyway.

Peeta puts the bag down and walks over. Her eyes look to me then to Peeta. "Hi Hope," he coos. "You're in your new home now. You're going to like it here in District 12."

Her blue eyes look in different directions, like she's taking in her new environment. Then, out of nowhere she begins to cry. "You think she doesn't like it?" he asks lightly.

"She just woke up. She's probably just hungry," I say.

"Ha, yeah," he says as he throws the bag over his shoulder. I go to the couch and sit with crying Hope. Placing her under the blanket and moving my shirt up, I hold her gently while she feeds. The crying ceases and I lean back. My head drops to the side, because right now I'm just so tired. I close my eyes just for a minute, and then Hope stops feeding and moves around. I'm glad one of us was able to sleep on the way here.

Peeta comes from upstairs and comes into the living room. "Why don't you go rest, and I'll take Hope?" he says. "The bed is made. You take a break now, since I did on the hovercraft."

"Peeta, you barely slept on the hovercraft," I reply. "You're probably tired-"

"Not as much as you, so I'll just watch Hope while you rest, and then later we'll go see how Haymitch is doing with moving in." He smiles in a funny way, so I won't refute anymore.

"Alright," I say. I hand him Hope, and then make my way to the stairs. I turn back halfway up to look at them: My new husband and daughter.

"Go rest," he insists. "I got father-daughter time." I open my mouth to say something, but I stop and nothing comes out. He looks at me, warily. "What is it?"

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say. "I just love you."

He smiles sort of shyly. "I love you too, Katniss. Now go to sleep."

I smile in return and head to the bedroom. And when I lay down, I think how uncomfortable, yet comfortable I feel here. The room is strange to me, but it's like I've been here before. I fluff the pillow and lay on my side. I remove my wedding ring with the pearl and go to sleep.

Peeta and I go to Haymitch's house with Hope. The mess has been here since we left for the Quarter Quell. It's absolutely grotesque- as Effie would say. Haymitch watches Hope while me and Peeta clean up- to the best of our ability, anyway- and make supper. Peeta is making bread while I'm placed on vegetable-cutting duty. That's all I'm allowed to do, because I'm not much a cook.

Haymitch comes into the kitchen with Hope. "Almost done there?"

"The bread is done, but the stew is still in work," says Peeta.

"Well then, I guess Ho-pe and I will just have a drink for the wait." I eye Haymitch suspiciously as he takes out a glass. "Keep your calm there, Sweetheart. I'm just getting water for myself." I don't break my glare till I see the label of the bottle he's pouring: water.

"I would never drink on baby-sitting duty." It sounds slightly sarcastic.

"You better not, or may have to pull out that knife trick again," I say.

"You'll only be cutting those vegetables today," he says smirking. "How about Ho-pe? Taught her any knife tricks yet? How to use a bow?"

"She's 2 months," says Peeta.

"Are you going too? The sooner the better."

"When she needs to learn that stuff," I say, trying to suppress my grin from Haymitch's nonsense.

"It's done," Peeta says suddenly.

We fill bowls with stew and Peeta uses the knife to cut the bread into slices. I place Hope in a carrier thing we got from the Capitol and cover her to her chest with the blanket. Knowing her though, she won't go to sleep just yet. I kiss her forehead and then go to get my bowl. I sit next Peeta and begin to dip pieces of bread into my stew.

"Have you learned nothing from Effie?" Haymitch says.

"I'm very knowledgeable of table manners, I just choose not use them," I reply.

"Tsk, Tsk," he mumbles, but he goes on to eating with his elbows on the table and his napkin under his bowl.

"I wonder how Effie is doing," Peeta says.

"Last I heard, she was doing business in the Capitol, still living in her fancy apartment," says Haymtich. "That reminds me…" Haymtich gets up from his chair and leaves the room. I look to Peeta questionably, but he just shrugs. Haymtich returns later with something so brightly pink I have to blink my eyes to adjust to the brightness.

Peeta laughs. "I'm guessing it's from Effie?"

"It was her good-bye present for you two. She told me to give this to you, because she always so freaking busy, busy, busy," Haymitch mocks.

He hands Peeta the little bright pink dress for Hope. Its ruffle sleeves and pink dots are obvious picks of Effie's. All I can think is how people in town would react seeing Hope dressed in that. "Well, she picked it out of love," I say.

Peeta looks at the time. "It looks like we better get going. It's getting late and we got to go do something."

"Leaving so soon for doing what?"

"It's none of your business, Haymitch," I say. Then he raises an eyebrow and gets this weird look, and I feel I know what he's thinking. "No! Shut up," I say.

"I didn't say anything, Sweetheart."

Peeta collects the bowls in the sink and then grabs the baby carrier. "Well, see you later Haymitch."

"Yeah, good night," he says.

We walk out and I glad it's dark outside, cause I don't want Haymitch or Peeta seeing my face right now, which I feel is slightly red. Stupid Haymitch.

I carry the pink dress in one hand and unlock the door to the house with the other. We step inside and turn on a light.

"We should probably tuck in Hope while she's asleep," says Peeta.

I gently take Hope out of the carrier. "Come on Hope," I whisper. I walk up the stairs and into the bedroom. Since we don't have a crib yet, I take the extra pillows and form a sort of a square in the middle of the bed, so that Hope would sleep between us. I place her in the little barrier, but then she begins to open her eyes. She begins to cry and so I have to pick her up. I dress her in her pj's and then begin to rock her. She was fed not so long ago, so I try rocking her to sleep. I start humming, and then I begin to sing softly. Hope becomes silent and looks around for my voice. I continue to sing and she calms down. I place her in her spot, keeping in song so she doesn't cry. Eventually she relaxes and I think she's fallen asleep.

"She can not only silence mockingjays with her voice, but small children too."

I turn to see him in the doorway. "Standing there long?"

"No, not really, but the only time I hear you sing is when you're with Hope," he says. "I'm fine with that." He walks in closer and kisses me. "You ready?"

"Yeah," I say. "Let's do it before Hope wakes up."

I take his hand and we walk back downstairs into the kitchen. Peeta takes a loaf of bread from the oven. We let it cool and then cut two pieces from it.

We are married. Soon after Hope was born, I told my mother of our engagement. We were taken to a Justice Building to make our marriage legal, with my family and Johanna, Annie, and Beetee, Delly, and others as witnesses. So we are legally married, but we aren't truly married till the bread toasting. I told Peeta we should wait till got to District 12. He agreed, saying it was better if we did it in our home, with our fireplace. It makes it special. And so two months later, we are going to have our toasting.

"Wait, I have to get something," I say. I run upstairs and get into our bag with the stuff we brought from the Capitol. I come back to the kitchen with an arrow. I put a piece of bread on the head. Peeta takes the bread and we walk to the living room, where the fireplace is. Peeta has already started it, and we can see the flames create shadows of us on the walls, holding hands.

I give Peeta the arrow with bread. He smiles at me and then puts it in the fire. He lets it toast brown.

"Katniss Everdeen, I have been in love with you for most of my life. I remember the moment I fell in love with you, and I'm glad I still have it. I saved your life, but you saved mine. I vow that I'll always love you, and protect you, and never leave your side in difficult times. I know I love you with all my soul, and I'm sorry for when I didn't believe it. I love you for giving me a daughter, and I want to live the rest of my life with you."

I can't seem to stop my eyes from watering, but his are too. I swallow and take the arrow. I place the bread in the fire and let it toast.

"Peeta Mellark, you have always been the kind-hearted person, who I should of realized was the one. Back then, I should have known I loved you and I vow that I'll always love you, protect you, and never leave your side in difficult times. We've been through so much together, and I have no doubt that we can get through whatever is in the future. I love you with all my soul and you truly make me happy. I'm happy we have a daughter, and I can't wait be called your wife and live the rest of my life with you."

I hold my voice to keep it from breaking. We exchange bread and I take a small bite out of it as he does. He steps closer and puts his hands on my back. We tilt our heads till our lips meet, and hold each other closer. We break apart, our faces just inches away.

"I love you so much," he says.

"I love you," I say smiling.

A quick peck, and then we extinguish the fire. We walk upstairs and start changing into our sleepwear. We both quietly get into bed, being careful not to wake Hope. We face each other, looking toward our baby sleeping so peacefully, that I could say it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

"Good night Hope," I say softly.

"We love you," Peeta adds.

During the night, we only had to wake up once. It's not very often, and fortunately, it doesn't take her long to calm down; Peeta says it's my singing. The next time I wake up, I find Hope awake, mumbling. "Good morning baby," I say. I pick her up and notice Peeta is missing. I get up from bed with Hope. The bathroom appears empty. "Come on, Hope. Let's go find your daddy."

I walk down the hallway with Hope on my hip. I hear noises in farthest room, so I quietly walk to the door. I open it more, and find Peeta sitting on the floor, still in his sleep wear, and paint in spots all over him.

"Look Hope, we found your daddy."

Peeta turns around quickly. "I didn't hear you guys come in."

"Never underestimate a hunter's stealth. Hope has it too," I say.

"Right, well I guess this where I shout surprise," he says.

I laugh and look around the room. The ceiling on the room is a sky blue, and the walls are a soft green. "It's wonderful. It's like being outside."

"I was going for the meadow, but that's the main idea." He smiles. "I have something else to show you." I tilt my head, warily. "I'll take Hope and you go turn over that picture frame over there," he says.

So I let him take Hope and walk over to the picture frame in the corner. Peeta walks behind me. "It's a surprise for your mommy," he says to Hope. Hope smiles, as if she knows what's going on. I pick the frame up and turn it over. My first reaction is a stifled laugh, and then my eyes water.

_Stop with the watering_.

"It's beautiful, Peeta." I try to stop my voice from breaking. I am amazed how good his art is. He captures the memory so perfectly. "Is this what you have been drawing in Thirteen?"

He nods, and bounces Hope on his hip. "Delly, saved it for me while I was gone."

"We'll hang it right above Hope's crib," I say still trying to compose my tears of happiness. Peeta walks over and kisses me, standing sideways so he doesn't squeeze Hope between us. We break apart and then I immediately find a nail and walk to a spot on the wall where I envision Hope's crib to be. After slamming the nail in with the handle of a brush, I place the frame on the nail, and straighten it out. I walk back, stand with Peeta, and continue to gaze at the drawing.

There's a little girl with a braid down her back and grey eyes, picking a dandelion from the grass in a school yard.

Our first spring together in Twelve, brings more people. After the destruction of the bombing is cleaned up, people take the deceased victims and bury them in the meadow. Stores and homes are being rebuilt, which attracts new and old residents. District Twelve's economy is now mostly based on farming. With all the land, they're thriving. There are still coal mines, but shifts, wages, and safety have been improved. When the bakery was being rebuilt, Peeta gladly went to volunteer. I pretty much stay home with Hope, but I despise being called a _housewife_, even though I may consider myself being one. When I get the time, and somebody takes care of Hope for me, I go hunting. It's not for survival anymore, so I usually give my game to Greasy Sae or a family who helps out with the reconstruction. Haymitch got some geese.

Hope's first word was "happy". Peeta and I were both there to witness it, and I called Prim soon after. I send her Peeta's drawings of Hope. They're like pictures that show how much she's grown, because he draws her about every week. I decided one night to write to Gale. I talked to Peeta about it, and he thought it was a good idea. I wrote to him about what is going in Twelve, and how we're doing. I think I write a lot about Hope. I ask him to write how he's doing, and I send one of the drawings of Hope, because he's never seen her.

I wonder if he still remembers saying that we'll have different lives without each other. Yes, we have different lives, but I still know he's there.

I do feel sad sometimes. I think about everybody who's been lost, but I don't imagine going into a period of just being depressed. The nightmares come and go, but I'm always relieved in waking up. Peeta still has those flashbacks. They don't occur often- they're rare- but that's when I have to leave the room with Hope. Yes, I'm still upset for what the Capitol did to us, but I don't let it take over my life. Bad things are going to happen, but the good always outweighs the bad. You can count all the good things in a day in ratio with the bad, and it always comes out good.

For instance, much later when I found out I was pregnant again, I was terrified. But the joy on Peeta's face, and the love this second child brings outweighs whatever I can conjure in my mind to keep me afraid. And if it wasn't for this hope, I probably wouldn't be so happy right now.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So many lines I could have ended it with, but I went with this one. Finally, they had their bread toasting and Peeta showed her the drawing. Thanks for your suggestions for that. I find Katniss feeling uncomfortable, funny, so I had to put that there. <strong>__**I wanted a sort of good reason that Prim and her mother weren't coming back to 12. You could think her mother didn't want to go back to 12 because she couldn't face it, but Prim wants to become a doctor. Gale is not going spend life in jail, which should be a relief. I loved the part when they visit Haymitch. **_

_**Second story is up, titled Reviving Ashes. I want to repeat that it's not a sequel to this story even though it takes place after Mockingjay. It should follow what really happened after the book cause it's a pre-epilogue thing. Take look at it if your interested. Anyway, thanks for being there through the whole story and I'd love some departing comments on the story. Have an awesome day!**_**(^_^)**

_**-cheezebuns **_


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